SO SOCIALLY ACKWARD - help.

PetiteChaton · Jun 27th, 2008, 01:58 AM

Ok.. so I'm a very outgoing and friendly person and I can hold conversations with strangers.. very easily.

However, I'm of a Greek background and i speak greek fluently with my parents only. I grew up with no Greek friends.. but now I have a Greek boyfriend..and to him.. Sometimes i speak Greek..and other times, I speak english and he speaks greek to me..or we both speak english.

What the problem here is... is that in a group situation..when around Greeks who speak greek to each other.. I AM SO ANTISOCIAL!!!

I tend to pick the option of being quiet and just sitting there, over conversing with people ...
Its like.. I want to speak but my thoughts are in English.
The easy solution to this problem is... "so just speak english".. but when you're in a group and they all speak Greek... and you're speaking english.. they think of it as you being pretentious..especially if THEY KNOW you're greek and you can speak it well.

Anyway.. Im attending one of THOSE parties this weekend..and its an important one..and..

I dont want to be that antisocial girl.. because thats not ME.. Its the language..

Does anyone know how i can beat this or has anyone met anyone thats in this situation before?
I mean Its not like i dont speak the damn language.. apart from the fact that sometimes i forget a few words here or there.. and my expressions need work..

How can i beat this? Its like i turn into some insanely shy person

...

lilian · Jun 27th, 2008, 03:22 AM

I grew up speaking two languages, but when once I started to learn English (around 10 years old) I started to lose the second one, to the point where I think I'm at the same level as you describe with it. I can understand everything, but I don't think in it anymore, and so when I want to say something sometimes I can't think of the word I need or I can't string the sentence together properly. Anyway, the only thing I can think to do in these situations (I'm in them a lot) is casually mention that I've lost some of the language but I'm actively trying to relearn and practice (I'm not actually). I find that way people are more patient with you and your mistakes, and not as quick to label you pretentious, because you're not brushing off the language...actually, you're giving the exact opposite impression. I'm sure there are better solutions out there, but this is all I've been able to come up with.

valval · Jun 27th, 2008, 03:27 AM

I feel for you girl. Growing up in an Asian background, I speak various languages and dialets. My everyday language will be English but when I'm in the group conversation where all speak other dialets and languages, I feel so left out. I can understand what they are saying but I can't think in that language so fast. And what comes out from my mouth is some weird combination of grammar of that language. And the rest of the group thought that I'm pretentious because I speak English. :(

Couture Dreams · Jun 27th, 2008, 04:07 AM

i know what you mean! growing up i only spoke lao to my parents and my family. i had lao friends, but we would never speak lao to each other. and if it ever happened i always felt extremely strange. i think its just the comfort level and your confidence.

i learned spanish in highschool and i speak fairly well, but i get so nervous when i actually need to have a spanish conversation with people who can actually speak spanish. i would rather act like i dont know how to speak than to speak it and make a fool of myself, err whatever. because i dont know the slang and its more like textbook proper and no one speaks "real" spanish like that ya know.

i think the more you are around the more comfortable you will become with it. you should take baby steps and begin speaking to your boyfriend in greek more then work your way up to becoming more greek social ;]

poppyluver · Jun 27th, 2008, 05:52 AM

From what you're saying it sounds like you're getting stage fright since you are able to speak Greek fluently around your parents. I have two possible solutions.

One:
You mentioned that you already speak Greek with your boyfriend. Maybe you should start by adding a few more Greek people to your mix and then continue gradually until you are comfortable with larger groups.

Two: [Probably your best bet since the party is this weekend]
You should do what actors do and just immerse yourself in greek. Maybe just in stay in character. If you're speaking Greek all day Friday & Saturday it'll be easier for you to converse in Greek at the party. Your mind will already be set on Greek or at least warmed up. I hope I'm making sense.

You could also help settle your nerves by going to a Greek market or restaurant and only speak in Greek there. That way you get to practice with strangers.

Good luck... if I think of anything else I'll try to post it.

PetiteChaton · Jun 27th, 2008, 11:06 AM

Thanks so much girls.. Im glad I'm not the only one out there that feels this way. I spoke Greek with the boy all of last night on our date lol

Jun 27th, 2008, 03:27 AM	#3
valval Member Joined: May 2008 Posts: 60	I feel for you girl. Growing up in an Asian background, I speak various languages and dialets. My everyday language will be English but when I'm in the group conversation where all speak other dialets and languages, I feel so left out. I can understand what they are saying but I can't think in that language so fast. And what comes out from my mouth is some weird combination of grammar of that language. And the rest of the group thought that I'm pretentious because I speak English. :( __________________ Wish List : [ In the process ]

Jun 27th, 2008, 01:58 AM	#1
PetiteChaton Tres chic Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 61	Ok.. so I'm a very outgoing and friendly person and I can hold conversations with strangers.. very easily. However, I'm of a Greek background and i speak greek fluently with my parents only. I grew up with no Greek friends.. but now I have a Greek boyfriend..and to him.. Sometimes i speak Greek..and other times, I speak english and he speaks greek to me..or we both speak english. What the problem here is... is that in a group situation..when around Greeks who speak greek to each other.. I AM SO ANTISOCIAL!!! I tend to pick the option of being quiet and just sitting there, over conversing with people ... Its like.. I want to speak but my thoughts are in English. The easy solution to this problem is... "so just speak english".. but when you're in a group and they all speak Greek... and you're speaking english.. they think of it as you being pretentious..especially if THEY KNOW you're greek and you can speak it well. Anyway.. Im attending one of THOSE parties this weekend..and its an important one..and.. I dont want to be that antisocial girl.. because thats not ME.. Its the language.. Does anyone know how i can beat this or has anyone met anyone thats in this situation before? I mean Its not like i dont speak the damn language.. apart from the fact that sometimes i forget a few words here or there.. and my expressions need work.. How can i beat this? Its like i turn into some insanely shy person ...

Jun 27th, 2008, 03:22 AM	#2
lilian Member Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Los Angeles/New York Posts: 620	I grew up speaking two languages, but when once I started to learn English (around 10 years old) I started to lose the second one, to the point where I think I'm at the same level as you describe with it. I can understand everything, but I don't think in it anymore, and so when I want to say something sometimes I can't think of the word I need or I can't string the sentence together properly. Anyway, the only thing I can think to do in these situations (I'm in them a lot) is casually mention that I've lost some of the language but I'm actively trying to relearn and practice (I'm not actually). I find that way people are more patient with you and your mistakes, and not as quick to label you pretentious, because you're not brushing off the language...actually, you're giving the exact opposite impression. I'm sure there are better solutions out there, but this is all I've been able to come up with.

Jun 27th, 2008, 04:07 AM	#4
Couture Dreams spidey kisses Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Lovely CA Posts: 1,116	i know what you mean! growing up i only spoke lao to my parents and my family. i had lao friends, but we would never speak lao to each other. and if it ever happened i always felt extremely strange. i think its just the comfort level and your confidence. i learned spanish in highschool and i speak fairly well, but i get so nervous when i actually need to have a spanish conversation with people who can actually speak spanish. i would rather act like i dont know how to speak than to speak it and make a fool of myself, err whatever. because i dont know the slang and its more like textbook proper and no one speaks "real" spanish like that ya know. i think the more you are around the more comfortable you will become with it. you should take baby steps and begin speaking to your boyfriend in greek more then work your way up to becoming more greek social ;]

Jun 27th, 2008, 05:52 AM	#5
poppyluver Member Joined: Apr 2007 Location: California Posts: 181	From what you're saying it sounds like you're getting stage fright since you are able to speak Greek fluently around your parents. I have two possible solutions. One: You mentioned that you already speak Greek with your boyfriend. Maybe you should start by adding a few more Greek people to your mix and then continue gradually until you are comfortable with larger groups. Two: [Probably your best bet since the party is this weekend] You should do what actors do and just immerse yourself in greek. Maybe just in stay in character. If you're speaking Greek all day Friday & Saturday it'll be easier for you to converse in Greek at the party. Your mind will already be set on Greek or at least warmed up. I hope I'm making sense. You could also help settle your nerves by going to a Greek market or restaurant and only speak in Greek there. That way you get to practice with strangers. Good luck... if I think of anything else I'll try to post it.

Jun 27th, 2008, 11:06 AM	#6
PetiteChaton Tres chic Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 61	Thanks so much girls.. Im glad I'm not the only one out there that feels this way. I spoke Greek with the boy all of last night on our date lol