SO goes out all the time, cause for concern?

Maryanne007 · Jun 24th, 2008, 11:54 PM

My SO goes out all the time with his SINGLE guy friend... it kind of annoys me, because I wonder what is the appeal of going out so much if you're not looking for women, especially since I know his friend is! Granted, we are long distance, and he only does this when I'm not there, and he tells me where he goes etc. but would this bother you? also, I never see his SINGLE friend when I am in town, we only hang out with his other friends who are all coupled off. Is that just to make things not awkward or is there something else behind all of this? Oh and this isnt a question of trust really, I know he's not the cheating type, but still, it kinda irks me.

bagnshoofetish · Jun 24th, 2008, 11:57 PM

sounds like he is acting like his "wing man". you know him best. if you feel you have nothing to worry about, then you have nothing to worry about.

maggie7 · Jun 25th, 2008, 12:02 AM

Well, he has to go out on his own when you're not there...you say you trust him, so try to relax about it and let him enjoy a bit of space...

Pursegrrl · Jun 25th, 2008, 12:15 AM

OK, the fact that you trust him and that he only does this when you're not around if you are in an LDR, then I wouldn't worry too much. Guys need to feel that they are trusted and appreciated, and if you can give him that freedom for some male bonding time he will love you all the more when you DO get to be together in person.

Would you feel more comfortable about it if you had an opportunity to meet his buddy? Sounds like you haven't met him yet...if not I would want to if I were you!

VPT · Jun 25th, 2008, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maryanne007

I know he's not the cheating type, but still, it kinda irks me.

What makes you so sure? Ok he may not be the cheating type but he may just have fun - strip clubs, gentlemen's bars, etc. If you're already wondering what he may be up to, you probably aren't very sure if he's cheating or not. Trust your gut instinct, I just hope this "friend" of his isn't imaginary.

sonya · Jun 25th, 2008, 12:33 AM

I talked to a single guy today who complained about his friend bringing his girlfriend along. To him, it was a lot more fun having his friends sans SO. It wasn't about picking up girls together, it was just that he wanted to have a guys night out.

So, if you trust him, then don't worry about it. It's long distance, he needs to go out once in awhile.

rubylola · Jun 25th, 2008, 04:56 AM

TBH his coupled off friends are probably less into going out all the time, while his single friend will be much more likely to want to go out regularly. Maybe he doesn't have much option to go out regularly with the rest of them...

helium · Jun 25th, 2008, 05:04 AM

It would irk me if he was going out every night because i'd want him to spend some time with me.

If it's a sometimes thing, just let him go out. Since when did fun for men = looking for women? Seriously, i'm sure looking for women actually gets tiring sometimes! If it's not a trust issue then it's just a 'he's not home' issue. Talk to him about that then, don't make a bigger problem out of a small problem.

PetiteChaton · Jun 25th, 2008, 06:53 AM

If you are concerned, start going out just as much

kbell · Jun 25th, 2008, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maryanne007

My SO goes out all the time with his SINGLE guy friend... it kind of annoys me, because I wonder what is the appeal of going out so much if you're not looking for women, especially since I know his friend is! Granted, we are long distance, and he only does this when I'm not there, and he tells me where he goes etc. but would this bother you? also, I never see his SINGLE friend when I am in town, we only hang out with his other friends who are all coupled off. Is that just to make things not awkward or is there something else behind all of this? Oh and this isnt a question of trust really, I know he's not the cheating type, but still, it kinda irks me.

Since you trust him & he tells you everything I'd let it go.
Single guys typically go out more than non single. His single
friend probably asks him to come along so he won't be alone.
His single friend is probably available to do things more
often than his coupled friends and he wouldn't feel like a 3rd wheel
with his single friend. I wouldn't read into it - sounds completely
normal to me.

couturequeen · Jun 25th, 2008, 11:03 AM

It's better that he have guys night out than girls night out. Are they going to clubs to pick up girls or just hanging out watching TV? Those are two different things. As long as you are fine with the amount of time you two spend together, I don't see much issue with it.

~Fabulousity~ · Jun 25th, 2008, 11:42 AM

The fact that you feel you need to mention it seems like you are worried a bit that your SO may engage in some behavior you don't agree with. Its natural to wonder from time to time, but if you have strong worries than go with your gutt and keep your eyes and ears open.

BagLadie · Jun 25th, 2008, 01:06 PM

I won't lie....this would bother the hell out of me!

illinirdhd · Jun 25th, 2008, 01:58 PM

Probably wouldn't bother me, if I trusted my SO. When you're not around, your SO probably doesn't want to hang out with couples, so his single friend is more fun. I guess this is one of the problems of a long distance relationship.

lovinalotofbags · Jun 25th, 2008, 11:31 PM

My question is, why have you never seen this friend that he goes out with? Just wondering.

It is like when parents should know their children's friends, who they are hanging out with.

Jun 24th, 2008, 11:54 PM	#1
Maryanne007 Member Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 414	SO goes out all the time, cause for concern? My SO goes out all the time with his SINGLE guy friend... it kind of annoys me, because I wonder what is the appeal of going out so much if you're not looking for women, especially since I know his friend is! Granted, we are long distance, and he only does this when I'm not there, and he tells me where he goes etc. but would this bother you? also, I never see his SINGLE friend when I am in town, we only hang out with his other friends who are all coupled off. Is that just to make things not awkward or is there something else behind all of this? Oh and this isnt a question of trust really, I know he's not the cheating type, but still, it kinda irks me.

Jun 24th, 2008, 11:57 PM	#2
bagnshoofetish napping. Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 15,705	sounds like he is acting like his "wing man". you know him best. if you feel you have nothing to worry about, then you have nothing to worry about. __________________ click here.

Jun 25th, 2008, 11:03 AM	#11
couturequeen addict Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,090	It's better that he have guys night out than girls night out. Are they going to clubs to pick up girls or just hanging out watching TV? Those are two different things. As long as you are fine with the amount of time you two spend together, I don't see much issue with it. __________________ My updated collection pictures are here. Wishlist Diamond halo stud earrings Bedat No. 7 watch

Jun 25th, 2008, 11:42 AM	#12
~Fabulousity~ Yes we can! Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Creating my life... Posts: 5,399	The fact that you feel you need to mention it seems like you are worried a bit that your SO may engage in some behavior you don't agree with. Its natural to wonder from time to time, but if you have strong worries than go with your gutt and keep your eyes and ears open. __________________ Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit - Napoleon Hill

Jun 25th, 2008, 01:06 PM	#13
BagLadie Got a handle on it Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 4,586	I won't lie....this would bother the hell out of me! __________________ "I won't quit to become someone's old lady." - Janis Joplin

Jun 25th, 2008, 12:02 AM	#3
maggie7 Member Joined: Sep 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 3,469	Well, he has to go out on his own when you're not there...you say you trust him, so try to relax about it and let him enjoy a bit of space...

Jun 25th, 2008, 12:15 AM	#4
Pursegrrl Oh no she di-int!! Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Seattle Posts: 14,066	OK, the fact that you trust him and that he only does this when you're not around if you are in an LDR, then I wouldn't worry too much. Guys need to feel that they are trusted and appreciated, and if you can give him that freedom for some male bonding time he will love you all the more when you DO get to be together in person. Would you feel more comfortable about it if you had an opportunity to meet his buddy? Sounds like you haven't met him yet...if not I would want to if I were you!

Jun 25th, 2008, 12:33 AM	#6
sonya Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,651	I talked to a single guy today who complained about his friend bringing his girlfriend along. To him, it was a lot more fun having his friends sans SO. It wasn't about picking up girls together, it was just that he wanted to have a guys night out. So, if you trust him, then don't worry about it. It's long distance, he needs to go out once in awhile.

Jun 25th, 2008, 04:56 AM	#7
rubylola Member Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,503	TBH his coupled off friends are probably less into going out all the time, while his single friend will be much more likely to want to go out regularly. Maybe he doesn't have much option to go out regularly with the rest of them...

Jun 25th, 2008, 05:04 AM	#8
helium Member Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,536	It would irk me if he was going out every night because i'd want him to spend some time with me. If it's a sometimes thing, just let him go out. Since when did fun for men = looking for women? Seriously, i'm sure looking for women actually gets tiring sometimes! If it's not a trust issue then it's just a 'he's not home' issue. Talk to him about that then, don't make a bigger problem out of a small problem.

Jun 25th, 2008, 06:53 AM	#9
PetiteChaton Tres chic Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 61	If you are concerned, start going out just as much

Jun 25th, 2008, 01:58 PM	#14
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 4,369	Probably wouldn't bother me, if I trusted my SO. When you're not around, your SO probably doesn't want to hang out with couples, so his single friend is more fun. I guess this is one of the problems of a long distance relationship. __________________

Jun 25th, 2008, 11:31 PM	#15
lovinalotofbags Fashion disaster Joined: Mar 2008 Location: Carolinas Posts: 1,612	My question is, why have you never seen this friend that he goes out with? Just wondering. It is like when parents should know their children's friends, who they are hanging out with. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.