Sister always insults me????

gillianna · Jun 16th, 2008, 08:45 AM

First let me say my sister and I are both in our 40's so one would think we are mature adults. I really don't know what my sister's problem is with me. Once again she came over for a visit yesterday (I had a Father's Day party for our dad) and we are having a good time sitting and talking and then comes the insults towards me. It happens every time we are together.
I have short hair-picture a Sharon Stone short cut. It is cut by a wonderful lady and I love it. It is not too short and looks fantastic. My husband loves me in short hair and compliments me all the time about how great it looks.
So I feel I look good.
Once again (each time I see her this happens) she proceeds to tell me "when are you going to let your hair grow out", it should be longer, it is too short, you don't have the pretty face to wear it (WTF?). I mean it goes on and on.
I tell her I love it and it is none of her business how I wear my hair and I don't understand her problem with it. Then I get how I would look so much better with long hair. NOT-I have fine thin hair and if I try to let it grow it looks like it hangs and I hate it.
Mind you she is in her 40's and trying to wear her hair like she did in high school-below her shoulders and bleached blond on top. It looks like damaged hooker hair yet I never say anything about her hair to her.
I just don't understand how one person gets such joy in putting me down each time she sees me about the same thing. My husband says to ignore her and he jokes how horrible her hair looks. But it does upset me because she is my sister and it just never ends.
Of course once she left the room my sister in law and I laughed because it is a joke between us that my sister will insult my hair once again.

lilflobowl · Jun 16th, 2008, 08:54 AM

I guess you would need to have a good stern talking with your sister & find out the root to why she keeps insulting you when the both of you meet up. Tell her how her irrelevant & insensitive comments make you feel & how it actually sours the mood.

If all else fails tell her she has hooker hair.

LadyLinda · Jun 16th, 2008, 09:20 AM

This sort of thing mystifies me, too. Short hair is sometimes the perfect look for a woman! Maybe your sister has a long-hair hangup because her man likes that? Or she thinks that's what men like?

For what it's worth, she sounds just like MY sister! My sis's boyfriend, now husband, prefers long hair--which was great when she was 30! Now she's nearing 50 and it's just this long mess; she does nothing with it. Once I even told her I'd pay for a new look for her and took her to my salon, where she told the stylist, "Just trim the ends. My husband likes it long!" I paid $95 so her hair would look exactly the same except with trimmed ends! So the deal with your sister is... she's got a long hair thing going on and telling her it looks bad won't help because she won't see it. I mean, you could try, but don't expect too much. When she looks in the mirror, she doesn't see what you see.

What to do? Just keep smiling and telling her you look great, perfect for your young, with-it style.

~Fabulousity~ · Jun 16th, 2008, 10:55 AM

My sister insults me sometimes one word, jealousy...
To give an example, My aunt was visiting from out of town and when we arrived at my house she and my cousin (her daughter) complimented me on how beautiful my house was and how nicely I had decorated. In the middle of the compliments my sister said "wait til you see MY HOUSE!" When we left my house to go to dinner my sister insisted we stop by her house even though it was in a totaly different direction from the restaurant! When we got to her house she happily slung open the front door proceeded to turn on lamps all around her living room and went straight into stories behind her decorating choices and NO ONE EVEN ASKED, finally when she saw that she wasnt getting the response she thought she would she shut up.

She does stuff like this all the time I just chalk it up to her being insecure and ignore her unless I feel she's being disrespectful then I will speak up. Another example we work very close to each other and she called me last week and said our grandmother wanted us to come to her house for lunch (she lives close to where we work) so I said ok and told her i'd meet her at her office. When we were on our way back from lunch I noticed she was turning to go down the street where my office is and I said "oh just let me out here" she replied " No bit%h you can walk back from my office who do you think you are?" She stopped but my feelings were kind of hurt and I didn't say anything I thought that was totaly uncalled for. Anyway I have stories for days, just want you to know you aren't alone.

ChristyR143 · Jun 16th, 2008, 11:04 AM

Yep...she's jealous of you. Totally.

Veelyn · Jun 16th, 2008, 02:27 PM

Smack her one good time, she'll get the hint.

But seriously, just let her know that she doesn't have to be so insensitive and rude. She may not even know she's doing it [I know ppl like this]

Like lilflobowl said, if all else fails, stoop to her level and tell her she has hooker hair. [JK lol]

gillianna · Jun 16th, 2008, 04:01 PM

What bugs me is that she has put down my hair for years. I have tried to let it grow out for a few months but hated the hair hanging limp looking like you don't wash it. I had hair half way down my back in high school and cut it short after college and have worn it chin length but always go back to this short long styled pixie cut with blond highlights. It really is my signature look and people compliment me on it all the time. Hubby loves it and he is not one to really say something unless it is true. She usually tells me my eyebrows are too thin too but she didn't yesterday.
Oh I forgot to mention I was showing my sister in law some new bras I bought that were cotton lycra blend with no under wires and told her how comfortable they are and she said she wanted to buy some and then my sister said these bras will never support you and I thought you are so much bigger chested than me so why are you worried???? It just seems like she gets such joy in putting me down and I don't get it.

candypants1100 · Jun 16th, 2008, 04:17 PM

she is jealous. when you feel great about yourself, it shows, and for your husband to be supportive of your look and make you feel gorgeous probably shows in the way you act towards people and how kind and generous you are. i think people tend to pick on others when they have limited self esteem.

cutieupdate18 · Jun 16th, 2008, 04:50 PM

I hate people like that, who just can't be happy for other people. It cuts especially bad since they're family. I would just distance myself from her.

dallas · Jun 16th, 2008, 07:34 PM

This poor girl is trying to make herself feel better by putting you down. My advice is to smile, bask in your fabulous hair, your fabulous life and leave her to her misery ... and her damaged, bleached-blond hooker hair. Do not give her the power to make you upset. The best revenge on people who try to pull us down, is to live a good life.

heat97 · Jun 16th, 2008, 08:11 PM

I have a silly question--- is she older or younger than you?

imashopaholic · Jun 17th, 2008, 03:11 AM

Oh hun. I know exactly how you feel. My sis treats me pretty poorly as well. See my thread and you'll understand what I'm talking about. Vent: My Sister Drives Me Crazy I know it's hard, but try not to let her hurtful comments get to you.

gillianna · Jun 17th, 2008, 08:26 AM

I decided to write her a card asking her why she gets such joy in putting down my hair or something about me each time she sees me. I want to know why this seems to upset her so much that she has to talk to me about how I would look "better" if I did this or that. I take care of myself. I am never one to not shave my legs, I give myself hour long pedicures, get my hair cut and colored so I never have roots. I am the bath and body lotion queen so I can't understand these insults. Let's see if she replies to my card. Only bad thing is her husband will open the mail. Opening her own mail would take too much time so he might just throw it away but we will see if I get a reply. I am going to type her a letter now and put it in a card and send it out today.

Purses · Jun 17th, 2008, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gillianna

First let me say my sister and I are both in our 40's so one would think we are mature adults. I really don't know what my sister's problem is with me. Once again she came over for a visit yesterday (I had a Father's Day party for our dad) and we are having a good time sitting and talking and then comes the insults towards me. It happens every time we are together.
I have short hair-picture a Sharon Stone short cut. It is cut by a wonderful lady and I love it. It is not too short and looks fantastic. My husband loves me in short hair and compliments me all the time about how great it looks.
So I feel I look good.
Once again (each time I see her this happens) she proceeds to tell me "when are you going to let your hair grow out", it should be longer, it is too short, you don't have the pretty face to wear it (WTF?). I mean it goes on and on.
I tell her I love it and it is none of her business how I wear my hair and I don't understand her problem with it. Then I get how I would look so much better with long hair. NOT-I have fine thin hair and if I try to let it grow it looks like it hangs and I hate it.
Mind you she is in her 40's and trying to wear her hair like she did in high school-below her shoulders and bleached blond on top. It looks like damaged hooker hair yet I never say anything about her hair to her.
I just don't understand how one person gets such joy in putting me down each time she sees me about the same thing. My husband says to ignore her and he jokes how horrible her hair looks. But it does upset me because she is my sister and it just never ends.
Of course once she left the room my sister in law and I laughed because it is a joke between us that my sister will insult my hair once again.

I have not read other tPF reply to your post and I just want to quickly make my comment first.

If your husband thinks you look good in it, then why didn't he stop your sister with her mouthy comments?
This makes me wonder how truthful you husband is. If he is and you personally love it, your husband should basically tell her to shut the Fck-up or get out of your home and come back when she is ready to show respect.
I can't believe that even a 40 year old would be that nasty. Makes me wonder what she is like at work and how she treats her husband and/or children.
You should never, ever tolerate verbal abuse from your sister.

Purses · Jun 17th, 2008, 09:13 AM

I had the chance to read the other comments and I agree with others. She may be jealous and she has issues...well, too bad! It is her problem and not yours.
I still think that if other family members overheard, they should of put her in her place.

Jun 16th, 2008, 08:45 AM	#1
gillianna Member	Sister always insults me???? First let me say my sister and I are both in our 40's so one would think we are mature adults. I really don't know what my sister's problem is with me. Once again she came over for a visit yesterday (I had a Father's Day party for our dad) and we are having a good time sitting and talking and then comes the insults towards me. It happens every time we are together. I have short hair-picture a Sharon Stone short cut. It is cut by a wonderful lady and I love it. It is not too short and looks fantastic. My husband loves me in short hair and compliments me all the time about how great it looks. So I feel I look good. Once again (each time I see her this happens) she proceeds to tell me "when are you going to let your hair grow out", it should be longer, it is too short, you don't have the pretty face to wear it (WTF?). I mean it goes on and on. I tell her I love it and it is none of her business how I wear my hair and I don't understand her problem with it. Then I get how I would look so much better with long hair. NOT-I have fine thin hair and if I try to let it grow it looks like it hangs and I hate it. Mind you she is in her 40's and trying to wear her hair like she did in high school-below her shoulders and bleached blond on top. It looks like damaged hooker hair yet I never say anything about her hair to her. I just don't understand how one person gets such joy in putting me down each time she sees me about the same thing. My husband says to ignore her and he jokes how horrible her hair looks. But it does upset me because she is my sister and it just never ends. Of course once she left the room my sister in law and I laughed because it is a joke between us that my sister will insult my hair once again.

Jun 16th, 2008, 08:54 AM	#2
lilflobowl baghag apprentice! Location: Singapore	I guess you would need to have a good stern talking with your sister & find out the root to why she keeps insulting you when the both of you meet up. Tell her how her irrelevant & insensitive comments make you feel & how it actually sours the mood. If all else fails tell her she has hooker hair. __________________ lilflobowl's baby collection! At home bonding with momma * Balenciaga S/S08 Electric Blue First * Balenciaga F/W07 Tomato SGH PT * Balenciaga F/W07 Jaune Twiggy * Balenciaga S/S05 Dolma Green Mini Mini Twiggy * Chanel Black Medium Caviar Classic Flap * Miu Miu Gauffre Clutch * Coach 07 Hamptons Weekend Tote Small * Prada Sigaro Suede Satchel (BR3307) * Prada Bianco Satchel (BR2978)

Jun 16th, 2008, 10:55 AM	#4
~Fabulousity~ ...is rebooting	My sister insults me sometimes one word, jealousy... To give an example, My aunt was visiting from out of town and when we arrived at my house she and my cousin (her daughter) complimented me on how beautiful my house was and how nicely I had decorated. In the middle of the compliments my sister said "wait til you see MY HOUSE!" When we left my house to go to dinner my sister insisted we stop by her house even though it was in a totaly different direction from the restaurant! When we got to her house she happily slung open the front door proceeded to turn on lamps all around her living room and went straight into stories behind her decorating choices and NO ONE EVEN ASKED, finally when she saw that she wasnt getting the response she thought she would she shut up. She does stuff like this all the time I just chalk it up to her being insecure and ignore her unless I feel she's being disrespectful then I will speak up. Another example we work very close to each other and she called me last week and said our grandmother wanted us to come to her house for lunch (she lives close to where we work) so I said ok and told her i'd meet her at her office. When we were on our way back from lunch I noticed she was turning to go down the street where my office is and I said "oh just let me out here" she replied " No bit%h you can walk back from my office who do you think you are?" She stopped but my feelings were kind of hurt and I didn't say anything I thought that was totaly uncalled for. Anyway I have stories for days, just want you to know you aren't alone. __________________ Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit - Napoleon Hill

Jun 16th, 2008, 11:04 AM	#5
ChristyR143 But it was on sale!! Location: Texas	Yep...she's jealous of you. Totally. __________________

Jun 16th, 2008, 02:27 PM	#6
Veelyn ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Location: The Zou!	Smack her one good time, she'll get the hint. But seriously, just let her know that she doesn't have to be so insensitive and rude. She may not even know she's doing it [I know ppl like this] Like lilflobowl said, if all else fails, stoop to her level and tell her she has hooker hair. [JK lol] __________________ ANIMAL CRUELTY IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE!! *PLEASE HELP GET JUSTICE FOR KARLEY!* *SIGN THE PETITION TODAY!* http://justice4karley.com/upcoming_events_3.html

Jun 16th, 2008, 09:20 AM	#3
LadyLinda Member Location: Philadelphia	This sort of thing mystifies me, too. Short hair is sometimes the perfect look for a woman! Maybe your sister has a long-hair hangup because her man likes that? Or she thinks that's what men like? For what it's worth, she sounds just like MY sister! My sis's boyfriend, now husband, prefers long hair--which was great when she was 30! Now she's nearing 50 and it's just this long mess; she does nothing with it. Once I even told her I'd pay for a new look for her and took her to my salon, where she told the stylist, "Just trim the ends. My husband likes it long!" I paid $95 so her hair would look exactly the same except with trimmed ends! So the deal with your sister is... she's got a long hair thing going on and telling her it looks bad won't help because she won't see it. I mean, you could try, but don't expect too much. When she looks in the mirror, she doesn't see what you see. What to do? Just keep smiling and telling her you look great, perfect for your young, with-it style.

Jun 16th, 2008, 04:01 PM	#7
gillianna Member	What bugs me is that she has put down my hair for years. I have tried to let it grow out for a few months but hated the hair hanging limp looking like you don't wash it. I had hair half way down my back in high school and cut it short after college and have worn it chin length but always go back to this short long styled pixie cut with blond highlights. It really is my signature look and people compliment me on it all the time. Hubby loves it and he is not one to really say something unless it is true. She usually tells me my eyebrows are too thin too but she didn't yesterday. Oh I forgot to mention I was showing my sister in law some new bras I bought that were cotton lycra blend with no under wires and told her how comfortable they are and she said she wanted to buy some and then my sister said these bras will never support you and I thought you are so much bigger chested than me so why are you worried???? It just seems like she gets such joy in putting me down and I don't get it.

Jun 16th, 2008, 04:17 PM	#8
candypants1100 Member Location: candyland	she is jealous. when you feel great about yourself, it shows, and for your husband to be supportive of your look and make you feel gorgeous probably shows in the way you act towards people and how kind and generous you are. i think people tend to pick on others when they have limited self esteem.

Jun 16th, 2008, 04:50 PM	#9
cutieupdate18 Epi-crazy!	I hate people like that, who just can't be happy for other people. It cuts especially bad since they're family. I would just distance myself from her. __________________ My bag family: Bottega Veneta Medium Veneta in Ebano Bottega Veneta Small Woven Hobo in Red LV Epi Speedy 25 in Cannelle LV Epi Speedy 30 in Mandarin LV Epi Petit Noe in Kenyan Fawn LV Monogram Mat Fowler in Black Prada Tessuto Fiocco Tote in Black Prada Vitello Daino Pocket Tote in Bruciato Miu Miu Calf Leather Tote in Corda Gucci Medium Boston Bag in Black Bottega Veneta Quarzo Clutch in Ebano Marc by Marc Jacobs Dr Q Groovee Satchel in Saddle

Jun 16th, 2008, 07:34 PM	#10
dallas Ya anno	This poor girl is trying to make herself feel better by putting you down. My advice is to smile, bask in your fabulous hair, your fabulous life and leave her to her misery ... and her damaged, bleached-blond hooker hair. Do not give her the power to make you upset. The best revenge on people who try to pull us down, is to live a good life. __________________

Jun 16th, 2008, 08:11 PM	#11
heat97 Member Location: NYC	I have a silly question--- is she older or younger than you? __________________ "I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet"

Jun 17th, 2008, 03:11 AM	#12
imashopaholic christmas in 22 days Location: Australia	Oh hun. I know exactly how you feel. My sis treats me pretty poorly as well. See my thread and you'll understand what I'm talking about. Vent: My Sister Drives Me Crazy I know it's hard, but try not to let her hurtful comments get to you.

Jun 17th, 2008, 08:26 AM	#13
gillianna Member	I decided to write her a card asking her why she gets such joy in putting down my hair or something about me each time she sees me. I want to know why this seems to upset her so much that she has to talk to me about how I would look "better" if I did this or that. I take care of myself. I am never one to not shave my legs, I give myself hour long pedicures, get my hair cut and colored so I never have roots. I am the bath and body lotion queen so I can't understand these insults. Let's see if she replies to my card. Only bad thing is her husband will open the mail. Opening her own mail would take too much time so he might just throw it away but we will see if I get a reply. I am going to type her a letter now and put it in a card and send it out today.

Jun 17th, 2008, 09:13 AM	#15
Purses Member	I had the chance to read the other comments and I agree with others. She may be jealous and she has issues...well, too bad! It is her problem and not yours. I still think that if other family members overheard, they should of put her in her place.