Single's Community

[spoiled_brat]

^ thanks, I am feeling a little better

Exactly WHY did I think getting drunk was a good idea? Also, it's one thing to drink when you're having fun and are out with friends etc. Drinking out of a place of loneliness and to "ease your troubles away" always results in a nastier hangover. Another thing is, if you're going to get drunk, stick to one thing! I mixed wine, gin and rum yesterday

Hope everyone else is having a better weekend!

[talexs]

^^We've all been there, I am convinced that for me the hangover is always worse after I drink alone bc I am generally upset about something and when i wake up the next morning the problem is still there. I guess I lose track or something bc it's like I'll get back to my apartment after a long day decide to have a glass or two of wine and then become engrossed in a show or movie and next thing I know well I'm feeling all kinds of warm and fuzzy.

Wine, gin, AND rum now there's a combo. I have had one too many bad experiences with rum so that's out for me. Lately my fave combo is tequila and wine, trust me it is not pretty in the morning. I am convinced I can feel my brain bouncing around in my head.

But good to know you're feeling better, hopefully you'll have a restful sleep tonight.

[quality bags]

I've been single for 3 years. It feels great at first but Im getting lonely especially on Fridays. Of course you have all the freedom but when there is trouble, you need to go through it alone. I need to be in cloud nine again. Need to feel my heart beating fast and need someone to make me feel special. Being in a stagnant position in my company, I've lose the passion for work. When you are in love you have something to look forward to. Part of the world is cruel and unkind. We meet nasty people everyday either in public or at work. Sometimes it really gets on our nerves and its easier to face these when there is someone there for you no matter what happens.

But somehow shopping makes me feel good and satisfied. Especially shopping for bags, thats why Im here. LOL

[spoiled_brat]

^ whatever you do, do NOT get drunk, lol.

There are a lot of great articles on Baggage Reclaim (the site that brought us the No Contact Rule). I was reading some the other day and there was a phrase that really stuck with me: us, women, are always struggling to change the cockroach we are currently dating into a frog and then finally into our Prince Charming. Like that's ever going to happen yet we still try and still hope and waste our time, energy and emotions.

I know this personally has been true for me but thankfully, those relationships didn't last too too long.

Sorry, just rambling to myself here...

[talexs]

SB I think lots of people do that. My friend met a guy who at the time wasn't looking for a girlfriend but she decided he was perfect boyfriend material and spent a good deal of time trying to convince him of how badly he wanted her and how his life would be so much better if they were more than FWBs. In her mind this was pretty much like step one and her way in, she thought once she had him as her boyfriend something more serious was just a hop, skip, and jump away. She wasted a lot of time and got her feelings crushed. Not trying to say it's just like your situation, but hey we can all fall into the trap of trying to change someone.

[spoiled_brat]

Oh yes, absolutely. The trick, I think, is to learn from your relationship patterns and change whatever it is inside you that is causing them. For example, I'm your typical Captain-Save-A-Ho (but the female version )

I am a horrible romantic and for years have believed that "all you need is love". Forget everything else. I will find you and I will fix you and I WILL make you into The One for me. Subconsciously, I was never even looking for somebody mature, with a stable job and a good head on their shoulders. I always wanted (apparently) to be some kind of a love martyr... thankfully, at some point sooner than later, I'd wake up, look around me, smell the coffee and bail. And always had the guys come running after me. Mind you, to no avail.

Then, for example, take my friend. She comes from a well-to-do family and personally really takes sh!t from no one. All her boyfriends (and now her fiance) have been responsible, mature and, yes, well-to-do financially. She never even looked for anything less.

Enough about me... what about you, girls? Any of this sound familiar?

[talexs]

Hmm, I don't know if that's ever been me. I am way more of the emotionally unavailable I live at the office type and well clearly that isn't working. I'm not really a hopeless romantic and lately have become so cynical I disgust myself. I am still pretty young but as soon as I graduated undergrad (a few yrs ago) I decided I wanted to go out and really take my field by storm--or some cliche like that--and now I am finally beginning to realize that you don't get people or time back and work isn't the end all be all. I've learned the hard way that there needs to be some sort of balance.

I have never really wanted to change men bc I am kind of very into the whole everything happens for a reason thinking and I guess I just hope that what is meant to be will be. I am really happy being single--as others have said--I really don't need someone, but if I do like someone it does hurt if we aren't together. Good grief sometimes when I read what I post I am like what am I thinking or doing?

I think it is very interesting how the men would always come after you after you bailed, I guess they didn't realize what they had until you left. But I guess that's your point, bc clearly you didn't want them back. Nothing wrong with being a hopeless romatic, one of my other friends (I feel like I am always mentioning my friends, I have quite a mix of them we are all so different) is a complete romantic and one day she got out of a cab when it was pouring in front of her apt building and a guy was moving in and immediately ran over to take her packages and open an umbrella for her. It must have been love at first sight for him bc a few days later he got their doorman to tell him who she was, sent a cute note to her apt, went out on what she said was the best 1st date in history, and now they're engaged. She always believed their is a perfect someone for everyone, and I like to think about her cute little story every once in awhile.

Another friend of mine will not accept anything less than complete attention and love from the men she dates, and she somehow gets her way, but quite frankly I think her bfs put up with a lot of bs from her and her overinflated sense of self. But as long as she's happy maybe that is all that matters.

[spoiled_brat]

Oooh, I love that story about your friend and the guy in the rain!

Well, I must say that I am actually like you: I believe that everything happens for a reason. I guess I haven't realized I was trying to change the guys I used to date.

That's the good and the bad thing about breakups: they hurt but you learn so much about yourself and your dating patterns. Wish there was an easier way.

I read that after you end a relationship, you should ideally give yourself 3-6 months to heal, think back and pull yourself together. Considering that I broke things off with the cockroach @ssclown earlier on this week, I am not going to look for anything until... well, right about St. Valentine's! I think I really need some time just for myself as I always jump from one man to the next.

talexs, good talking to you And I totally get what you're saying.

[talexs]

I love that story too. One of the best parts is she is one of the kindest people you will ever meet and deserves all of the happiness her fiancee brings her. Nice to know there are other people like me and I'm not living in some sort of fantasy world. Good talking to you too, and hope that you are back to 100%.

[shoecandy]

Hi Every one.

I just want to share. A while ago I broke up with my boy friends and started online dating. As a online dating newbie, I came here to ask for advices and started to follow this thread. I kind of feel I belong here.Here I am, to report my online dating story. So far, nothing good comes out yet. I joined match as my first dating webiste, and it didn't turn out anything good. Met some guys yet never any one spur my interests. And lots of players and MIA guys there. So last month, I decided to switch to chemistry. Guys there sounds more serious and yet turn into MIA guys once you show interests. A guy exchanged email with me every 2 days and in my last email to him, I suggested we could go hiking sometime in the future when he got back in town(he claimed he was working in a project out of town until end of Nov), and since then he went MIA. Even though I have no attachment with him, yet it still upsets me. What the hell for that? I just don't understand why guys do that? And this afternoon, I went out for the first date with another guy, he is kind of older yet fun. I kind of like him, yet I have a feeling that he is more into caring sweet heart type, and I am more of a "cold hearted bitch" type of girl, that's why all my girl friends like me and yet I am no that lucky in men's department. Anyway, I texted him after the date and told him I enjoyed spent time with him, and see how it goes.

And Odette. I am wondering if we are talking to the same old guy. I chatted with a guy a while back ago and he was so into politics. Everthing he talks is about politics such as socialism and capitalism. It turned me off immediately. Mind you we are not even have a first date yet.

[spoiled_brat]

Originally Posted by shoecandy

I am more of a "cold hearted bitch" type of girl, that's why all my girl friends like me.

Really? I sure prefer my girl friends nice and caring

I'm sure you didn't mean it this way.

[shoecandy]

Originally Posted by spoiled_brat

Really? I sure prefer my girl friends nice and caring I'm sure you didn't mean it this way.

What I mean is i am usually calm and analytical, not those sweet sweet type.

[Odette]

Originally Posted by shoecandy

And Odette. I am wondering if we are talking to the same old guy. I chatted with a guy a while back ago and he was so into politics. Everthing he talks is about politics such as socialism and capitalism. It turned me off immediately. Mind you we are not even have a first date yet.

I wonder...ugh it was such a turn-off.

[legsieloveslamb]

I had a few beers Friday night!! That was the drinking night, right?

PA and SB--

Yes, it actually is better that I did find that out NOW rather than later about that guy......... Especially since my date went very very well!!! Great conversation and laughs and whoa...........chemistry!!!! And he's really really really F.I.N.E.! FIRE!!! We will be seeing eachother again!

[lolitablue]

Hello Ladies! Just checking in with you!! Since the last time I checked, I have only read through the last two pages of this thread and keep noticing a trend. All of us are smart, centered and precious people who are actually looking to be happy!! None of us is showing non -sense, maybe a little confused or misguided by the guys that we could have or are currently seeing but definitely motivated to stay on track and focused on what we want. Keep it up that way, girlies!! We are getting there!

Happy Monday!!!