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talexs · Nov 5th, 2009, 05:28 PM

CoffeeAddict I think it is completely ok and non game playing to wait until Saturday to text. At first I was thinking that maybe you should just shoot a "hey" text sooner but then when you mentioned how you kind of don't know what to say yet I immediately thought that waiting was a good idea. Especially bc when you think about it you just don't have anything pressing to say at the moment and it isn't like you're trying to gauge his interest or make him want you more.

I'm socially inept more often than not too. I don't know sometimes my texts, to everyone, are just stupid or wordy and I'm sure when they see it they just shake their heads and wonder what in the hell it could say. I bet that the more you initiate contact--not suggesting anything crazy--the easier it will become. I have also found that it can be hard to initiate contact with a guy you like--sometimes.

spoiled_brat · Nov 5th, 2009, 06:20 PM

Originally Posted by arnott

OMG, I laughed out loud at that one.

Sorry it didn't work out with your skateboarder guy.

I'm sorry too. Really.

Do you have another one for me?

spoiled_brat · Nov 5th, 2009, 06:32 PM

Ok, I think I caught up with this thread (I'm at home sick and just finally got up recently)

talexs, I am sorry you were feeling down the other day. Hope it's going better

CoffeeAddict, I'm gonna go against the grain and suggest you text him sooner: a) you will drive yourself nuts waiting until Saturday (sorry if that's presumptuous on my part... I know I would!), b) if you've had a conversation about how the phone works both ways, give it a go. At least you'll know you tried and c) text him something simple, like "hope you're having a good day" or "have a good night. Talk to you later"... something like that.

PurseAddict79, I just wrote you in your thread... Hang in there. You're doing fabulous.

lolitablue, I am waiting to hear how things are going with your younger boy... As you can probably tell from my pathetic ramblings on here, I broke things off with mine.

legsieloveslamb, I understand how you feel about being hung up on that guy... It's difficult because you haven't had proper closure, right? He just up and disappeared one day. I'm sorry. I think you need to really try and cut your losses short here. Glad you're having fun with the Match guy.

Kansashalo · Nov 5th, 2009, 06:48 PM

CoffeeAddict, I think its ok to text him anytime starting now. its been 2/3 days. I think spolied_brat gave some good suggestions if you don't know what to say.

PurseAddict79 · Nov 5th, 2009, 06:50 PM

talexs - It sure seems like we are in the same boat. Its so hard. I've never broken up with someone I was still in love with. I've always been over the guy before the relationship was over. This is new territory for me. And its confusing... because theres a little voice in my head that keeps telling me that I didn't give him enough of a chance to fix things and I should try harder to make it work. But, logically, I know there is no going back. The damage is done. I can't trust him, at least not now... maybe not ever.

I think guys just play it off like they don't care because its not as 'socially acceptable' for guys to be all cryin in their beer over a breakup. Girls sit home and cry with our friends, guys go out and drink and hook up. Ok. Not all guys. But a lot of them.

CoffeeAddict - Personally I don't think you should wait. If you wanna text him, text him

As for Airplane Guy, I think you're right about him being what I need right now. I don't have to wonder what he's thinking... and I have to admit, its a relief!

spoiled_brat - Every time i type your name I make sure I type SPOILED instead of soiled like I did that one time

Thank you for reassuring me that everything I'm going through is normal. I wish I could just flip a switch. Stop loving J and just go on with it... kwim?

CoffeeAddict · Nov 5th, 2009, 07:03 PM

Thanks girls! I think what I'm going to do is what until tomorrow (friday) and then text him something like "Wish us luck at the TT tomorrow, we will need it! Hope you're having a good day!"

Does that sound reasonable? It gives me a reason to text which makes me feel less awkward.

Gee, this has really made me appreciate how hard it might be for some guys to just randomly text us girls. I've never been good at this, especially in the beginning. I wonder if men feel the same sort of irrational anxiety about texting the right thing at the right time?

In case anyone is wondering this website explains what the TT is http://www.atts.org/index.html

legsieloveslamb · Nov 5th, 2009, 07:20 PM

CA- Text him sooner.... it may never hurt.

Talexs- Hope you're doing better.

PA- Hang in there, dear! Sounds pretty positive with Airplane Guy being that he's so anxious and all. He's showing some genuine interest.

Spoiled- You're absolutely right. I haven't had any closure!! This "new" relationship is just so different to me and it's different in a way that there is distance involved and his schedule just stinks!!!! I'm just used to being able to "get more" out of a relationship even though it's just started...... still......... ???????

PurseAddict79 · Nov 5th, 2009, 07:42 PM

Someone smack me

J and I talked and agreed that he should come over to get his things... tonight. He actually told me on the phone that as much as he loves me, he agrees with my decision. He isn't ready to settle down. He can't give me what I want.

I guess I should be kinda happy because I'm them.

I'm gonna totally lose it tonight. I'm gonna see him and I'm gonna lose it. But maybe then the tears will be done, and we can close this chapter and move on.

juneping · Nov 5th, 2009, 07:43 PM

^^keep in mind what you want out of this r/s...if he can't deliver and you have to stay strong. GL tonight!!

spoiled_brat · Nov 5th, 2009, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by PurseAddict79

Someone smack me

J and I talked and agreed that he should come over to get his things... tonight. He actually told me on the phone that as much as he loves me, he agrees with my decision. He isn't ready to settle down. He can't give me what I want.

I guess I should be kinda happy because I'm them.

I'm gonna totally lose it tonight. I'm gonna see him and I'm gonna lose it. But maybe then the tears will be done, and we can close this chapter and move on.

At least he recognizes that he isn't ready to settle down and he can't give you what you want. Keep this in mind.

And don't think you are going to lose it... then you won't.

Think about how strong you've been so far. Sometimes making a right decision is hard but you've made it. Stay that way.

PurseAddict79 · Nov 5th, 2009, 07:58 PM

Ok... gonna be strong... going to make it through. I have to keep reminding myself that no matter how much I love him, I wasn't happy. I hadn't been for a while. His issues were too much for me to handle and triggered some very unhealthy behavior. I have to keep this in mind.

And I have a great guy who has basically waited on the sidelines. Understood why I chose J. Understands why I ending things with J. A guy who has every single quality I've ever wanted in a guy. And he's taking me out this weekend.

And another thing that makes it easier... at lunch today I went to Marshalls and got a pair of Nine West knee high black suede high heel boots for $30. Seriously.I'm not sure life could get any better than that.

*singing* These boots were made for walkin and that's just what they'll do....

talexs · Nov 5th, 2009, 08:04 PM

^^This may be hard but hopefully is just what you need to begin moving on. Trust me I know how ridic that sounds and like I'm just throwing it out there, but hopefully this will help show you an end to this and well then you can start focusing on all the new great things going for you.

spoiled_brat · Nov 5th, 2009, 08:24 PM

Ok, I did a really donkey thing (feel free to laugh at me). I wrote down a list of 60 (!) things I hate about the ex-MIA guy, including all the dumb things he ever said as well as hurtful things he did. I like re-reading it when I get sad things didn't work out.

HappyGrl2008 · Nov 5th, 2009, 08:39 PM

Hey girls! Just wanna give a big hug to all of you for being so strong!!

I read all of your stories and I wish I could give you all good advice, but I don't even know what's good for me.

So...this one guy that I like...I'm done with him. It seems that he's only there when he wants to hear from me. Whenever I contact him lately, he's not there. Last week I sent him the shortest msg and he didn't reply. What's so hard about making someone happy with just a short line of words...he can't even do that for me. It hurts so much and I feel so humiliated and embarrassed whenever I contact him and don't hear anything back. And when he contacts me, I'm there for him. I can't go on with this any longer. He seemed so nice though, it's hard letting go. But I can do better. With someone who doesn't play these weird, not-making-any-sense games. Don't waste the pretty, right?

bnjj · Nov 5th, 2009, 09:13 PM

Hey gals! I have not been in this thread in some time as I've had nothing to report and I haven't read any of the thread in quite a while so I don't know what's happening with everyone. For me, EH is still as useless as ever.

A couple guys have contacted me on PoF (I don't have a picture up) but they were intrigued by my being a fan of Bon Jovi and started writing me about that.

One of these days I need to get around to getting new pictures taken and put up on PoF and EH.

Nov 5th, 2009, 06:32 PM	#3798
spoiled_brat not spoiled enough Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 2,190	Ok, I think I caught up with this thread (I'm at home sick and just finally got up recently) talexs, I am sorry you were feeling down the other day. Hope it's going better CoffeeAddict, I'm gonna go against the grain and suggest you text him sooner: a) you will drive yourself nuts waiting until Saturday (sorry if that's presumptuous on my part... I know I would!), b) if you've had a conversation about how the phone works both ways, give it a go. At least you'll know you tried and c) text him something simple, like "hope you're having a good day" or "have a good night. Talk to you later"... something like that. PurseAddict79, I just wrote you in your thread... Hang in there. You're doing fabulous. lolitablue, I am waiting to hear how things are going with your younger boy... As you can probably tell from my pathetic ramblings on here, I broke things off with mine. legsieloveslamb, I understand how you feel about being hung up on that guy... It's difficult because you haven't had proper closure, right? He just up and disappeared one day. I'm sorry. I think you need to really try and cut your losses short here. Glad you're having fun with the Match guy.
	Last edited by spoiled_brat; Nov 5th, 2009 at 06:36 PM.

Nov 5th, 2009, 06:48 PM	#3799
Kansashalo Memories! Joined: Sep 2006 Location: USA Posts: 3,606	CoffeeAddict, I think its ok to text him anytime starting now. its been 2/3 days. I think spolied_brat gave some good suggestions if you don't know what to say.
	__________________

Nov 5th, 2009, 07:03 PM	#3801
CoffeeAddict Member Joined: May 2007 Posts: 193	Thanks girls! I think what I'm going to do is what until tomorrow (friday) and then text him something like "Wish us luck at the TT tomorrow, we will need it! Hope you're having a good day!" Does that sound reasonable? It gives me a reason to text which makes me feel less awkward. Gee, this has really made me appreciate how hard it might be for some guys to just randomly text us girls. I've never been good at this, especially in the beginning. I wonder if men feel the same sort of irrational anxiety about texting the right thing at the right time? In case anyone is wondering this website explains what the TT is http://www.atts.org/index.html
CoffeeAddict Member Joined: May 2007 Posts: 193	Last edited by CoffeeAddict; Nov 5th, 2009 at 07:06 PM.

Nov 5th, 2009, 07:20 PM	#3802
legsieloveslamb BaG jUnKiE! Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 4,108	CA- Text him sooner.... it may never hurt. Talexs- Hope you're doing better. PA- Hang in there, dear! Sounds pretty positive with Airplane Guy being that he's so anxious and all. He's showing some genuine interest. Spoiled- You're absolutely right. I haven't had any closure!! This "new" relationship is just so different to me and it's different in a way that there is distance involved and his schedule just stinks!!!! I'm just used to being able to "get more" out of a relationship even though it's just started...... still......... ???????
	__________________ My L.A.M.B.s- Love Capri Stone, Rocksteady Mocha, Jacquard Kerry, Bullseye Commodore, Edinburgh Geometric Irvine, and Ceylon Hawke Lapis L.A.M.B. WISH Bags: Tavernier Hobo in Nero & Etoile

Nov 5th, 2009, 07:43 PM	#3804
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	^^keep in mind what you want out of this r/s...if he can't deliver and you have to stay strong. GL tonight!!
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Nov 5th, 2009, 05:28 PM	#3796
talexs I Love It!!!!! Joined: Jun 2008 Location: always in the office :( Posts: 1,499	CoffeeAddict I think it is completely ok and non game playing to wait until Saturday to text. At first I was thinking that maybe you should just shoot a "hey" text sooner but then when you mentioned how you kind of don't know what to say yet I immediately thought that waiting was a good idea. Especially bc when you think about it you just don't have anything pressing to say at the moment and it isn't like you're trying to gauge his interest or make him want you more. I'm socially inept more often than not too. I don't know sometimes my texts, to everyone, are just stupid or wordy and I'm sure when they see it they just shake their heads and wonder what in the hell it could say. I bet that the more you initiate contact--not suggesting anything crazy--the easier it will become. I have also found that it can be hard to initiate contact with a guy you like--sometimes.

Nov 5th, 2009, 06:50 PM	#3800
PurseAddict79 PerpetuallyPenniless Joined: Sep 2008 Location: The Mall Posts: 1,234	talexs - It sure seems like we are in the same boat. Its so hard. I've never broken up with someone I was still in love with. I've always been over the guy before the relationship was over. This is new territory for me. And its confusing... because theres a little voice in my head that keeps telling me that I didn't give him enough of a chance to fix things and I should try harder to make it work. But, logically, I know there is no going back. The damage is done. I can't trust him, at least not now... maybe not ever. I think guys just play it off like they don't care because its not as 'socially acceptable' for guys to be all cryin in their beer over a breakup. Girls sit home and cry with our friends, guys go out and drink and hook up. Ok. Not all guys. But a lot of them. CoffeeAddict - Personally I don't think you should wait. If you wanna text him, text him As for Airplane Guy, I think you're right about him being what I need right now. I don't have to wonder what he's thinking... and I have to admit, its a relief! spoiled_brat - Every time i type your name I make sure I type SPOILED instead of soiled like I did that one time Thank you for reassuring me that everything I'm going through is normal. I wish I could just flip a switch. Stop loving J and just go on with it... kwim?

Nov 5th, 2009, 07:42 PM	#3803
PurseAddict79 PerpetuallyPenniless Joined: Sep 2008 Location: The Mall Posts: 1,234	Someone smack me J and I talked and agreed that he should come over to get his things... tonight. He actually told me on the phone that as much as he loves me, he agrees with my decision. He isn't ready to settle down. He can't give me what I want. I guess I should be kinda happy because I'm them. I'm gonna totally lose it tonight. I'm gonna see him and I'm gonna lose it. But maybe then the tears will be done, and we can close this chapter and move on.

Nov 5th, 2009, 07:58 PM	#3806
PurseAddict79 PerpetuallyPenniless Joined: Sep 2008 Location: The Mall Posts: 1,234	Ok... gonna be strong... going to make it through. I have to keep reminding myself that no matter how much I love him, I wasn't happy. I hadn't been for a while. His issues were too much for me to handle and triggered some very unhealthy behavior. I have to keep this in mind. And I have a great guy who has basically waited on the sidelines. Understood why I chose J. Understands why I ending things with J. A guy who has every single quality I've ever wanted in a guy. And he's taking me out this weekend. And another thing that makes it easier... at lunch today I went to Marshalls and got a pair of Nine West knee high black suede high heel boots for $30. Seriously.I'm not sure life could get any better than that. singing These boots were made for walkin and that's just what they'll do....

Nov 5th, 2009, 08:04 PM	#3807
talexs I Love It!!!!! Joined: Jun 2008 Location: always in the office :( Posts: 1,499	^^This may be hard but hopefully is just what you need to begin moving on. Trust me I know how ridic that sounds and like I'm just throwing it out there, but hopefully this will help show you an end to this and well then you can start focusing on all the new great things going for you.

Nov 5th, 2009, 08:24 PM	#3808
spoiled_brat not spoiled enough Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 2,190	Ok, I did a really donkey thing (feel free to laugh at me). I wrote down a list of 60 (!) things I hate about the ex-MIA guy, including all the dumb things he ever said as well as hurtful things he did. I like re-reading it when I get sad things didn't work out.

Nov 5th, 2009, 08:39 PM	#3809
HappyGrl2008 Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 272	Hey girls! Just wanna give a big hug to all of you for being so strong!! I read all of your stories and I wish I could give you all good advice, but I don't even know what's good for me. So...this one guy that I like...I'm done with him. It seems that he's only there when he wants to hear from me. Whenever I contact him lately, he's not there. Last week I sent him the shortest msg and he didn't reply. What's so hard about making someone happy with just a short line of words...he can't even do that for me. It hurts so much and I feel so humiliated and embarrassed whenever I contact him and don't hear anything back. And when he contacts me, I'm there for him. I can't go on with this any longer. He seemed so nice though, it's hard letting go. But I can do better. With someone who doesn't play these weird, not-making-any-sense games. Don't waste the pretty, right?
HappyGrl2008 Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 272

Nov 5th, 2009, 09:13 PM	#3810
bnjj ♪ Jovi Junkie ♪ Joined: Apr 2007 Location: Bon Jovi Blvd. Posts: 5,583	Hey gals! I have not been in this thread in some time as I've had nothing to report and I haven't read any of the thread in quite a while so I don't know what's happening with everyone. For me, EH is still as useless as ever. A couple guys have contacted me on PoF (I don't have a picture up) but they were intrigued by my being a fan of Bon Jovi and started writing me about that. One of these days I need to get around to getting new pictures taken and put up on PoF and EH.
	__________________

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