Single's Community

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by Prayes

That is awesome!!! You don't know how many times I have regretted not giving my phone number to someone. I admire your bravery! I have to say though.. I've decided bars and clubs are not good places to meet people. I haven't met anyone in one of those places who has sticked. Oh, and my neighbor accepted my friend request!! I am just happy it won't have to be awkward whenever we see each other in the elevator, lol.

yay, that's awesome! Mine wasn't accepted. :( I really wish I hadn't done that, although looking at how I did it it's not like I told him I think he's hot, I just asked if he was the same guy I'd met. I still feel like an idiot. Whenever I get even a slight hint of liking someone I just feel so stupid and insecure. I can't explain it, but it's like it makes me feel vulnerable and I don't like that feeling. It scares me.

and mellycn, good for you for giving him your number! I couldn't have done that at all myself, no matter how much I drink. I'll just never be that forward. Look, I'm feeling like an idiot just for adding someone on facebook. I wish men didn't make me feel so insecure. I'm in my 30s and I'm still like a 15-year-old when it comes to relationships.

[Prayes]

Zophie, you should be happy with yourself for trying atleast! You're just giving him the opportunity to talk to you further, kind of like giving him your number. I feel like that every time I have a crush on someone too... you're not alone!

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by Prayes

Zophie, you should be happy with yourself for trying atleast! You're just giving him the opportunity to talk to you further, kind of like giving him your number. I feel like that every time I have a crush on someone too... you're not alone!

Maybe I should just become a nun. I obviously am not good with men. I just feel really depressed and frustrated and I'm sick of it.

[mellecyn]

Originally Posted by Zophie

yay, that's awesome! Mine wasn't accepted. :( I really wish I hadn't done that, although looking at how I did it it's not like I told him I think he's hot, I just asked if he was the same guy I'd met. I still feel like an idiot. Whenever I get even a slight hint of liking someone I just feel so stupid and insecure. I can't explain it, but it's like it makes me feel vulnerable and I don't like that feeling. It scares me. and mellycn, good for you for giving him your number! I couldn't have done that at all myself, no matter how much I drink. I'll just never be that forward. Look, I'm feeling like an idiot just for adding someone on facebook. I wish men didn't make me feel so insecure. I'm in my 30s and I'm still like a 15-year-old when it comes to relationships.

Aren´t we all ??? I also feel like my teenage awkard self when I fancy someone....either I give the "I don´t give a sh*t" look or I am a bit too forward, both out of being uncomfortable.
Anyways, stop it ! I am so glad you did try the facebook request ! I also could feel like an idiot for being so forward and just giving away my phone number....But I look at it this way : Either I had or hadn´t tried, the results today are the same : zero, none, nada...BUT I challenged myself took some risk. OK it hasn´t worked this time, but it´s just practice for the next time and 1 day it might work.
For now I am pleased I did something bold. It makes life a bit more exciting you know !

[mellecyn]

Originally Posted by lostnexposed

OMG...I sooo need to hang out with u!! Maybe I'll be a little more daring.

Well, you can pm me where you´re from, I travel a lot !!
But seriously I am such an uptight stick, I also need a outspoken girlfriend to push me.

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by mellecyn

Aren´t we all ??? I also feel like my teenage awkard self when I fancy someone....either I give the "I don´t give a sh*t" look or I am a bit too forward, both out of being uncomfortable. Anyways, stop it ! I am so glad you did try the facebook request ! I also could feel like an idiot for being so forward and just giving away my phone number....But I look at it this way : Either I had or hadn´t tried, the results today are the same : zero, none, nada...BUT I challenged myself took some risk. OK it hasn´t worked this time, but it´s just practice for the next time and 1 day it might work. For now I am pleased I did something bold. It makes life a bit more exciting you know !

Well, you know, maybe he'll call you. Who knows. I still have hopes that my guy just hasn't logged on yet even, though it's all so silly anyway. I guess you don't know if you don't even try. I always hear though that if guys like you they will find out a way to see you so I take this guy as not ever trying before as non interest and maybe I should have just left well enough alone. Now I'm really hoping I never work with him again because then I'll feel like a dumbass. Plus a friend told me his whole family is weirdos so maybe it's best if I don't ever get to know him better.

[Prayes]

Originally Posted by Zophie

Well, you know, maybe he'll call you. Who knows. I still have hopes that my guy just hasn't logged on yet even, though it's all so silly anyway. I guess you don't know if you don't even try. I always hear though that if guys like you they will find out a way to see you so I take this guy as not ever trying before as non interest and maybe I should have just left well enough alone. Now I'm really hoping I never work with him again because then I'll feel like a dumbass. Plus a friend told me his whole family is weirdos so maybe it's best if I don't ever get to know him better.

Didn't you say he only had like 11 friends on FB or something?? That definitely means he doesn't check his FB often, or maybe doesn't even use it. And it's true... if there is a girl that you like, you definitely make an effort to try to see them. You don't really forget to call someone you are into. Well, at least I don't, lol! And I would definitely avoid people with weirdo families! Although somehow this is reminding me of the movie American Beauty.

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by Prayes

Didn't you say he only had like 11 friends on FB or something?? That definitely means he doesn't check his FB often, or maybe doesn't even use it. And it's true... if there is a girl that you like, you definitely make an effort to try to see them. You don't really forget to call someone you are into. Well, at least I don't, lol! And I would definitely avoid people with weirdo families! Although somehow this is reminding me of the movie American Beauty.

I get the impression it's a new profile. I guess I shouldn't get offended unless I go back and he's got 100 friends and didn't add me. The person who told me his family was all weirdos didn't really elaborate. I guess it doesn't really matter since I don't even really know the guy and only wanted to run into him again based on a first impression. I just don't usually feel that attracted to someone at all and I couldn't get him out of my head. Even though it's been a while I just kept hoping I'd run into him again. And he even seemed like he might be flirting after we worked together but another guy walked up and they started talking.

[lv_forever]

I think it's better for me to move on if I go on a bunch of dates with rebounds. I never let it get to a stage where physical intimacy is expected or they waste too much time. After all, it is unfair to them. I know some people disagree with my rebound tactics, but hey it's been working for me, haha.

So, I went on a date #2 with my first rebound man. We had a really good time. Unfortunately I think it'd have to come to an end soon...I think he really likes me and getting attached...

I had a date on Sunday with my second rebound man, and it was fun but I really don't think I will see him again.

My next week is completely booked with dates/social events. It's crazy how much fun/ busy I am as single than I ever was as a couple. Now I realize how lonely I was in that relationship and how emotionally unavailable my ex was. And it's comforting to know that that relationship would have been very toxic even if it had lasted longer.

I am meeting this one particular person this weekend - and I am putting him in a potential basket, not the rebound basket as he is a really nice guy and has a lot of things I want in a boyfriend. Wish me luck!

[Zophie]

lv_forever, that sounds like a plan. You'll be keeping yourself busy and meeting more people so a good way to get past the ex. And where do you find all these dates anyway? I wish I could find half that many.

[lv_forever]

Zophie, I treat this process like a project. I really don't want to waste my time moping around at home after a breakup. I do realize that emotions like pain, anger, depression are necessary and I allow myself to feel all that - just not sitting around at home.

Once I am single and looking, I let everyone know that I am single and available. Plus, some male acquaintances have approached me since the breakup and we made casual plans to hang out. And I flirt mercilessly with anyone remotely cute, lol.
And then I have eharmony.com and a couple other dating sites.
I am not very picky when it comes to first few dates. I just put them in a non serious basket and move along until I find someone special. I never sleep with the non serious guys either... I am very picky in that sense, I guess. I just want company and a good time.

[Zophie]

shoot, everyone knows I'm single and nobody fixes me up anymore. It just seems harder as I get older. I hardly ever have anyone ask me out. It really makes me feel like I'm not appealing anymore.

[lv_forever]

^^Zophie, I've seen your photos and you are DEFINITELY hot. Some could be just intimidated and if you are not out there smiling and flirting they may just think you're not looking. When I am single I consciously try to flirt mercilessly. I don't care if it's a cashier or someone on the street, lol. I think of it as practice. And if they do ask me out as a result, I just tell them sorry, not looking for a date.

[~Fabulousity~]

Originally Posted by mellecyn

And that´s why I think you should put aside the dating for a while...It might help you forget about your ex, but it might as well make you feel miserable because you are vulnerable right now and that´s not fair to yourself or your dates for that matter. Just enjoy being single !! Take that free time as an opportunity to get to know yourself better, what you like, do activities you enjoy doing, be selfish !! Think of all the stuff you couldn´t do enough of when you were in a relationship : have your favorite take away in front of "America´s Next Top Model", watch reruns of "The Hills", "Gossip Girl", chicks flicks... (all the girly shows and movies that make men cringe). Invite your girlfriends over for dinner, have girls nights, shopping days together, go to the gym, have the healthy diet you couldn´t have with your boyfriend, pamper yourself pretty, practice your flirting skills with the cuties you see, set yourself some personal goals : wanna learn a new skill ? language, music instrument, arts and crafts etc...... Really there are so many things you could be doing right now, instead of dating already after like....1 week post break up ? Me ?....well I went out last night clubbing with a friend, and we were so not discreet at all lol. Instead of just chatting and not giving a care in the world we were "scanning" the place for potentials, walking around A few attractive guys but they were already too drunk to even want to approach them and hope for a decent conversation....so we had a bit of a dance instead. One of the bartenders was so hot, I was trying to make eye contact (poor guy, he was so busy and must have girls trying on all the time), but no sign of interest. Came back later, he started to warm up a bit with the eye contact. Then my friend challenged me to just give him my phone number. With me though, I can´t face rejection, so I never take any chance with anything in life if I am not sure of a good potential for success. But then I realized this is ridiculous, I always mention my guy friends who just got a girlfriend "so easily" it seems but I remember one of them saying he had to talk to so many women and face rejection a lot but at the end of the day it shouldn´t matter, take it lightly. So anyways, I just went to him, asked for a pen (well a shot first, so we drunk that him and me) then gave my number and left. And that´s it, the chances for him to do so are like 0.05% (we didn´t even talk) but I am proud I faced my fears, I was shaking so much lol.

whooo hoooo good for you! You're sounding like me now LOL!

[~Fabulousity~]

Originally Posted by Prayes

That is awesome!!! You don't know how many times I have regretted not giving my phone number to someone. I admire your bravery! I have to say though.. I've decided bars and clubs are not good places to meet people. I haven't met anyone in one of those places who has sticked. Oh, and my neighbor accepted my friend request!! I am just happy it won't have to be awkward whenever we see each other in the elevator, lol.