Single's Community

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by Prayes

50-hour schedule is the new 40-hour schedule! At least where I live... I am a workaholic too, I wish I weren't sometimes. Nothing from FB yet. You?

Nope, nothing. I don't really know how many hours a week I work, but I have a job that I always have things I need to do and doesn't confine itself to a schedule. I just know I work a lot.

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by karmenzsofia

IMO, and based on personal experience, workaholism is both the cause and effect of something else. It's a way to cope with "now," and one many of us live to regret "later."

I agree. I have a friend who told me way back when I was in college that the reason I do so much is to avoid other issues, although in college I don't know how else I could have lived. However, ever since high school I have found I am much happier when I have a very full schedule of work (or work/school when I was in school). I don't like to have a lot of idle time, I like to feel like I have things I need to do. I used to get really depressed as a teenager in the summers when I had nothing to keep me occupied. My brother is so opposite though. He could have no job and sit home playing video games all day and be happy as a clam. In fact, he did exactly that for two years after he got out of the Navy until he ran out of money.

So some may say later in life I'll regret that I worked so much and didn't get married and have kids, but at the same time, I haven't found anyone I want to marry and I just don't feel the urge to have kids, so why should I not just handle my business and do my thing? If in the future I feel I need to make more time for a special person in my life, I'll figure it out. But right now the only really special person is me.

[karmenzsofia]

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
In my case, I regret it but it's not because of marriage and children.
To me, there's much more to life than work and family...but that's just me

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by karmenzsofia

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. In my case, I regret it but it's not because of marriage and children. To me, there's much more to life than work and family...but that's just me

I guess I just don't know what else there is...well, besides my dog. Of course she is #1.

[lv_forever]

Phew. Just got back from my second post breakup date. My heart felt like it was breaking into two pieces while driving home and I missed my ex boyfriend.
On the other hand, I like being single. Believe it or not, dating is fun for me. I think I was lonelier than I thought in my previous relationship. He worked all the time and his free time was divided between me and his friends.
But, it still hurts and it will take some time for me to really date someone seriously. Ugh sometimes I think men suck.

[simmmchen]

lv_forever, I think it's great that you're dating and socializing so soon after a breakup. I should be more like you!

Zophie and Prayes, eek, I am anxious to hear updates about FB from you

Me: I had a "date" with my co-worker yesterday. We just watched a movie and ate ice cream at my house. Nothing exciting, no cuddling, no kissing, no sparks (at least from my side). Not sure if it me being nervous though...

[mellecyn]

Originally Posted by lv_forever

Phew. Just got back from my second post breakup date. My heart felt like it was breaking into two pieces while driving home and I missed my ex boyfriend. On the other hand, I like being single. Believe it or not, dating is fun for me. I think I was lonelier than I thought in my previous relationship. He worked all the time and his free time was divided between me and his friends. But, it still hurts and it will take some time for me to really date someone seriously. Ugh sometimes I think men suck.

And that´s why I think you should put aside the dating for a while...It might help you forget about your ex, but it might as well make you feel miserable because you are vulnerable right now and that´s not fair to yourself or your dates for that matter.
Just enjoy being single !! Take that free time as an opportunity to get to know yourself better, what you like, do activities you enjoy doing, be selfish !! Think of all the stuff you couldn´t do enough of when you were in a relationship : have your favorite take away in front of "America´s Next Top Model", watch reruns of "The Hills", "Gossip Girl", chicks flicks... (all the girly shows and movies that make men cringe). Invite your girlfriends over for dinner, have girls nights, shopping days together, go to the gym, have the healthy diet you couldn´t have with your boyfriend, pamper yourself pretty, practice your flirting skills with the cuties you see, set yourself some personal goals : wanna learn a new skill ? language, music instrument, arts and crafts etc......
Really there are so many things you could be doing right now, instead of dating already after like....1 week post break up ?

Me ?....well I went out last night clubbing with a friend, and we were so not discreet at all lol. Instead of just chatting and not giving a care in the world we were "scanning" the place for potentials, walking around
A few attractive guys but they were already too drunk to even want to approach them and hope for a decent conversation....so we had a bit of a dance instead.
One of the bartenders was so hot, I was trying to make eye contact (poor guy, he was so busy and must have girls trying on all the time), but no sign of interest. Came back later, he started to warm up a bit with the eye contact. Then my friend challenged me to just give him my phone number. With me though, I can´t face rejection, so I never take any chance with anything in life if I am not sure of a good potential for success.
But then I realized this is ridiculous, I always mention my guy friends who just got a girlfriend "so easily" it seems but I remember one of them saying he had to talk to so many women and face rejection a lot but at the end of the day it shouldn´t matter, take it lightly.
So anyways, I just went to him, asked for a pen (well a shot first, so we drunk that him and me) then gave my number and left. And that´s it, the chances for him to do so are like 0.05% (we didn´t even talk) but I am proud I faced my fears, I was shaking so much lol.

[mellecyn]

Originally Posted by karmenzsofia

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. In my case, I regret it but it's not because of marriage and children. To me, there's much more to life than work and family...but that's just me

Like what ? I really want to enlarge my options, open my possibilities. But we need people to show us there is a different route for personal satisfaction and happiness. As a woman, if you´re not married with children you are still seen as a social abnormality and I want the strenght to deal with that and not get affected by it.
I know I always have done things slightly differently but still....
Because I enjoy socializing with friends so much, but when everybody else around you put family and work first, what do you do (on your own) ??
I don´t have deep spiritual occupations, all activities I do are eventually shallow or are nothing if not shared with someone, in the big picture....and if you´re not that close to your family and don´t have someone linked by romantic interest or blood, companionship is hard to find.

[Prayes]

Originally Posted by mellecyn

So anyways, I just went to him, asked for a pen (well a shot first, so we drunk that him and me) then gave my number and left. And that´s it, the chances for him to do so are like 0.05% (we didn´t even talk) but I am proud I faced my fears, I was shaking so much lol.

That is awesome!!! You don't know how many times I have regretted not giving my phone number to someone. I admire your bravery! I have to say though.. I've decided bars and clubs are not good places to meet people. I haven't met anyone in one of those places who has sticked.

Oh, and my neighbor accepted my friend request!! I am just happy it won't have to be awkward whenever we see each other in the elevator, lol.

[lostnexposed]

^I know! there have been times where I meet a really nice, cute guy, but I don't give him my number...and later on I just can't stop thinking about him.

[lostnexposed]

Originally Posted by mellecyn

Me ?....well I went out last night clubbing with a friend, and we were so not discreet at all lol. Instead of just chatting and not giving a care in the world we were "scanning" the place for potentials, walking around A few attractive guys but they were already too drunk to even want to approach them and hope for a decent conversation....so we had a bit of a dance instead. One of the bartenders was so hot, I was trying to make eye contact (poor guy, he was so busy and must have girls trying on all the time), but no sign of interest. Came back later, he started to warm up a bit with the eye contact. Then my friend challenged me to just give him my phone number. With me though, I can´t face rejection, so I never take any chance with anything in life if I am not sure of a good potential for success. But then I realized this is ridiculous, I always mention my guy friends who just got a girlfriend "so easily" it seems but I remember one of them saying he had to talk to so many women and face rejection a lot but at the end of the day it shouldn´t matter, take it lightly. So anyways, I just went to him, asked for a pen (well a shot first, so we drunk that him and me) then gave my number and left. And that´s it, the chances for him to do so are like 0.05% (we didn´t even talk) but I am proud I faced my fears, I was shaking so much lol.

OMG...I sooo need to hang out with u!! Maybe I'll be a little more daring.

[aklein]

Prayes -- congrats on the add. Now you just need to be able to talk to the neighbor!
Mellecyn -- that is awesome! I have had nights where I have gone out with my bff and made a competition out of talking to guys we think are cute. Every night when we have done that, we have met some cool guys.

[karmenzsofia]

Originally Posted by lv_forever

Phew. Just got back from my second post breakup date. My heart felt like it was breaking into two pieces while driving home and I missed my ex boyfriend. On the other hand, I like being single. Believe it or not, dating is fun for me. I think I was lonelier than I thought in my previous relationship. He worked all the time and his free time was divided between me and his friends. But, it still hurts and it will take some time for me to really date someone seriously. Ugh sometimes I think men suck.

I hope you feel better about the breakup soon. I'm glad you're enjoying dating and having fun. It's amazing how different a relationship looks when we look back on it, KWIM? Good luck!

[Prayes]

Originally Posted by karmenzsofia

I hope you feel better about the breakup soon. I'm glad you're enjoying dating and having fun. It's amazing how different a relationship looks when we look back on it, KWIM? Good luck!

So true! Also, it's amazing how much you learn from old relationships too.

[karmenzsofia]

Originally Posted by mellecyn

Like what ? I really want to enlarge my options, open my possibilities. But we need people to show us there is a different route for personal satisfaction and happiness. As a woman, if you´re not married with children you are still seen as a social abnormality and I want the strenght to deal with that and not get affected by it. I know I always have done things slightly differently but still.... Because I enjoy socializing with friends so much, but when everybody else around you put family and work first, what do you do (on your own) ?? I don´t have deep spiritual occupations, all activities I do are eventually shallow or are nothing if not shared with someone, in the big picture....and if you´re not that close to your family and don´t have someone linked by romantic interest or blood, companionship is hard to find.

OMG, where to start! Traveling the world and getting to know people of different cultures--an experience that can open your mind and your life like no other. Traveling back in time by visiting the oldest places on earth, seeing the oldest things. Taking classes on subjects that spark your curiosity or that you're passionate about. Camping out in the middle of nowhere under a sky bursting with stars. Reading the hundreds of classics that have shaped the world. Taking photographs of beautiful and/or meaningful things so that you always have something beautiful to look at. Finding a huge tree and build an amazing tree house! Run through a field of your favorite flowers and lie down on it facing the sky on a crispy cool sunny day. Interview the interesting people you meet about what life is to them, what they love, what scares them, what they wish for, what they've learned. Study the eastern religions. Volunteer for a cause close to your heart. Go ice skating, rock climbing, skydiving! Write something or make something with your hands. Go to the best, most fascinating museums in the world. Ride the wildest rollercoasters. Learn a new skill every year. Live while you have the health to do it. In the blink of an eye, all of it could become impossible for you, so go for it while you can.