Should I stay with him or go on with my life

[mlisaac]

Originally Posted by Kansashalo

Why can't you venture out on your own? Nothing is stopping you from getting your own apartment and living your life. In fact, I don't recommend for a woman to go from their parent's house immediately to someone else's house without living on their own at some point in between those two events. You seem like a smart girl that can take care of herself. There is nothing wrong with moving out on your own away from the parents for a year or two - or at least until your bf can get his affairs in order which looks like will take some time.

I agree; please don't put your life on hold to accommodate your boyfriend. This could lead to feelings of resentment on both sides. Just because you're together doesn't mean that you have to live your lives in lockstep with one another; while he's dealing with his family situation and getting himself together, you could be going back to school or developing useful skills or even buying your own home. Take the time to focus on yourself and allow your boyfriend to do the same.

[gacats]

If you're ready for the next step, is there any reason that you couldn't marry and have a home with his mom in residence? I would think she would love to add a new daughter to the family, and perhaps have some grandchildren to love too.
If her health is poor, she may want to see her son set up in his happiness before she goes.
Just a thought.

[Squeaky00]

I live in south florida and it is not worth me getting an apartment and having a $1000 rent for a 800sft. Right now the homes are so low in price that it is good to invest in your own home and not throw it away by renting.

Originally Posted by Kansashalo

Oh man, do I know how your BF feels regarding this situation. I am there as well with my older siblings so sadly this isn't unique. Somehow, if you don't have kids/aren't married, siblings think that you have tons of money and time to do everything that needs to be done in the family while all they do is offer their opinion. Oh yep, I've been there. Why can't you venture out on your own? Nothing is stopping you from getting your own apartment and living your life. In fact, I don't recommend for a woman to go from their parent's house immediately to someone else's house without living on their own at some point in between those two events. You seem like a smart girl that can take care of herself. There is nothing wrong with moving out on your own away from the parents for a year or two - or at least until your bf can get his affairs in order which looks like will take some time.

[Squeaky00]

gacats: Sorry living with his mom is definately not the answer. I would never leave my parents house to go and live with his mom at their house. But my bf has mention that. But I just don't believe in that.

Mlisaac: thanks I think I might do that. I guess we will see what will happen in the future.


Thank you all :)

[nataliam1976]

Originally Posted by Squeaky00

I live in south florida and it is not worth me getting an apartment and having a $1000 rent for a 800sft. Right now the homes are so low in price that it is good to invest in your own home and not throw it away by renting.

You should definitely do that. Dont put everyhting on hold for your BF, if you have means and its good time to invest in real estate, use the opportunity.

[juneping]

Originally Posted by Squeaky00

gacats:Sorry living with his mom is definately not the answer. I would never leave my parents house to go and live with his mom at their house. But my bf has mention that. But I just don't believe in that. Mlisaac: thanks I think I might do that. I guess we will see what will happen in the future. Thank you all :)

well...since it's not an option and he cares his mother very much. i don't think he will abandon his mom just for you. so you should go on with your life without him. i don't see financially he can be the ONE for you in the foreseeable future.

[Kansashalo]

Originally Posted by nataliam1976

You should definitely do that. Dont put everyhting on hold for your BF, if you have means and its good time to invest in real estate, use the opportunity.

I agree - I don't care whether its an apartment, house, condo, etc (sorry, I'm not hip on the real estate markets everywhere)....just don't wait on your bf. Live your life. Don't put your dreams on hold until your bf gets his affairs in order (which again, could take some time.)

[vbskull]

Originally Posted by nataliam1976

You should definitely do that. Dont put everyhting on hold for your BF, if you have means and its good time to invest in real estate, use the opportunity.

I agree. Another possibility would be that you could by a house together and sell the one his mom is in. She is too sick to work and will soon be to sick/old to live alone. Use the money from his mothers house on the loans/bills/towards a house/health care bills. I couldn't see how your parents would be hurt by you moving out and then with his mother in with you. I wouldn't move to their house I would get one of my own. The amount of money you would save by combining would be worth it and being together is the goal for you and him.

[SPOILEDkiwi]

I really think you should buy a house on your own and not put it on hold b/c of your boyfriend. It's only going to lead to resentment. It sounds like your boyfriend and his mom are a package deal, and if you don't want to live with her and help support her, you shouldn't keep waiting around for him. Maybe taking a break would be best for the both of you. He could focus on himself and his mother, and you can focus on yourself without worrying about him.