[karman]

Ok here's the scoop...

I have a friend who is a SUPER PICKY eater. She hates mayo, hates seafood, hates sushi (well I guess it's part of seafood, but she hates even the non-seafood sushi), hates Vietnamese noodles...and a bunch more that I can't name.

She's white, and I'm Asian. In fact, she hangs out with mostly Asian people. When it comes to foods, the only things that can please her are probably raw/cooked fruits and veggies, and meats that are cooked with nothing. She'll also eat what her family cooks, but I need to repeat that she's super picky when it comes to food.

So you can imagine the surprise when she agreed that we should try taking her to a Chinese restaurant (we were only joking, she always kind of made fun of what we eat...) and so we did. We took over 20 minutes to order because I had to take into account she didn't like this, didn't like that, etc...

We ordered fried rice, pea shoots cooked in broth, and crispy chicken with garlic. We chose dishes with as little grease as possible, and stuff that we thought would fit her tastes and there was no seafood in anything. She gave all the dishes a weird look, and said she felt sick after eating the food. She asked what something was in the fried rice, and she made a face after we told her what it was (some restaurants like to use small roe--like the ones you see on sushi, the little red dots--to add colour. Mind you, this stuff is cooked and besides, you can't even taste it). She didn't eat a lot of the peashoots, although we know she loves veggies. She barely had one piece of chicken, and then she announced she was full.

At the end of the meal she said the dishes we ordered were weird and she feels really sick. This was on Sunday...and of course she had to bring it up today that she felt sick the day after too.

I don't know how to explain it, but when you say you want to try a new kind of food, shouldn't you be polite and not say anything like "this is weird" or "this is gross" (especially if it could hurt someone) when someone takes you out to a restaurant with the foods you want to try? I would understand if she said things like "this is very different than what I'm used to" or "I don't really like this" then I wouldn't be offended, but by saying our dishes are weird and gross...I don't know. She could've said it a different way...especially if she's SO HARD to please.

Sorry for the long rant...just a little hurt

[karman]

Sorry, this isn't as Family/Relationship related as I'd wanted it to be. It does deal with how my friend reacted to the food rather than the food itself, though.

[bagnshoofetish]

some people are just narrow minded about the unfamiliar. just don't go out to eat with her. and if you do, eat where she wants to since she is the lowest common denominator here. this way you'll eliminate the annoying comments and can just enjoy each others company.

me? I'll eat anything that isn't nailed down to the table.

[sfgirl67]

I can see why you would feel offended, sorry she made you feel that way. Maybe she was just so uncomfortable from being out her comfort zone she acted out of character?(which isn't fair considering she asked for it)

[fiatflux]

This is plain old rude behavior, and it's too bad that so many parents enable this behavior. My 10yo daughter has a friend like this...and we don't tolerate it when she comes to eat with us. We tell her that it's fine if she doesn't want to eat something on the table, but it's not appropriate to say "yuck" or "gross," and it's not necessary to announce that she's not eating this or that food. She can simply choose the food she wants to eat, and leave the food she doesn't want to eat. No drama or wrinkled noses or "yucks" allowed!

Of course it's natural that you'd be hurt or offended...it's rude and boorish behavior. Doesn't sound like it was out of character for her at all...from your description, it sounds like a pattern.

[karman]

Good...I was beginning to think I overreacted but you are right fiatflux...it's a shame parents think it's okay for a kid to say a food is gross. I mean, of course if it's ACTUALLY gross (like...monkey brains or something) then that's fine but people all over the world are dying due to starvation. I just couldn't bear it any more. It wasn't the first time she's done this. In fact, sometimes, she'll say something is gross before even trying it.

You guys know bubble tea? Well she thinks it's gross, yet she's NEVER had it before.

[penance]

I was in this exact same situation with a friend I took out to dinner and PAID for and yet the whole time she only bitched about this and that >.< I've sworn not to go to dinner with her again

I can only tell you to stop babying her, the next time you guys are having an outing, try to have the meal at the end so this way you can ask her "Are you hungry? I'm having this ..." and if she says no or starts to question it, you can tell her you're going without her then and you can see her later =) How could you eat with somebody picking about the food in your face - no manners at all

[pollinilove]

well she should not say something is gross i only eat pepper steak thats it so mabe next time you can mabe order her some of that

[lovinalotofbags]

She was very childish in her behavior and should have kept her mouth closed. What you ordered sounded delish.

[lv_forever]

Whether she is comfortable or uncomfortable with the unfamiliar, I feel that the comments were extremely rude. Does her condescending behavior extend to other aspects of Asian culture as well? Or is it just the food issue? If she exhibits a condescending attitude toward Asian cultures, I suspect she is only hanging out with you guys to feel "superior." But not knowing the full story, I hesitate to accuse her with that.

[lv-lover]

I would be offended. Whenever someone picks out something for me, or makes something for me, I try to make an effort to look it or I at least pretend to. What you ordered sounds really yummy!

[karman]

I thought so too. The kind of fried rice I ordered is one of my favourite rice dishes.

lv_forever...she HAS called certain aspect of Asian culture "weird", but definitely not "gross". I understand the "weird" part, because there ARE certain aspects to other cultures that are "weird" to me, but I respect that.

Unfortunately this is a friend who makes comments like that all the time...even about the littlest things.

For example, my friend and I order Chinese fast food one day on Campus. They put your rice/noodles on the bottom, and pile your meats and veggies on top. My friend and I immediately move the meat and veggies out of the way, so we can get to the rice/noodles. She raises her eyebrows, and says in an almost disgusted tone "That's the weirdest way I've seen anyone eat their food." Ummm how was that weird?? It's not like when you eat dinner at home you pile food on TOP of each other...you have everything laid out side by side on the plate. We moved the meat and veggies over so we don't have to eat each type of food all at once, then move on. Funny thing is, all her friends eat their Chinese fast food that way.

[bagnshoofetish]

I'm beginning to think your friend is an alien from another planet. Was she brought up in a box or something? How did you ever become friends?

[chiara]

Originally Posted by karman

Good...I was beginning to think I overreacted but you are right fiatflux...it's a shame parents think it's okay for a kid to say a food is gross. I mean, of course if it's ACTUALLY gross (like...monkey brains or something) then that's fine but people all over the world are dying due to starvation. I just couldn't bear it any more. It wasn't the first time she's done this. In fact, sometimes, she'll say something is gross before even trying it.

You guys know bubble tea? Well she thinks it's gross, yet she's NEVER had it before.

OOOH, I'm dying to try bubble tea, it looks trippy! Not to hijack, but what exactly is it?

My parents taught me to always be open minded, take a taste of something and if I didn't like it then don't eat it. Never make a rude comment though. Simply say "oh, I didn't care for that." It was part of the manners training. I eat plenty of things (raw oysters, calamari, etc.) that don't appeal to others, and as long as they are not rude about it, I'm ok. I have many restrictions on the food I can eat and many times carry my own food with me when necessary.

That's part of our problem today, too many people were never taught to be polite.

[cheburashka]

Originally Posted by karman

Ok here's the scoop...

I have a friend who is a SUPER PICKY eater. She hates mayo, hates seafood, hates sushi (well I guess it's part of seafood, but she hates even the non-seafood sushi), hates Vietnamese noodles...and a bunch more that I can't name.

She's white, and I'm Asian. In fact, she hangs out with mostly Asian people. When it comes to foods, the only things that can please her are probably raw/cooked fruits and veggies, and meats that are cooked with nothing. She'll also eat what her family cooks, but I need to repeat that she's super picky when it comes to food.

So you can imagine the surprise when she agreed that we should try taking her to a Chinese restaurant (we were only joking, she always kind of made fun of what we eat...) and so we did. We took over 20 minutes to order because I had to take into account she didn't like this, didn't like that, etc...

We ordered fried rice, pea shoots cooked in broth, and crispy chicken with garlic. We chose dishes with as little grease as possible, and stuff that we thought would fit her tastes and there was no seafood in anything. She gave all the dishes a weird look, and said she felt sick after eating the food. She asked what something was in the fried rice, and she made a face after we told her what it was (some restaurants like to use small roe--like the ones you see on sushi, the little red dots--to add colour. Mind you, this stuff is cooked and besides, you can't even taste it). She didn't eat a lot of the peashoots, although we know she loves veggies. She barely had one piece of chicken, and then she announced she was full.

At the end of the meal she said the dishes we ordered were weird and she feels really sick. This was on Sunday...and of course she had to bring it up today that she felt sick the day after too.

I don't know how to explain it, but when you say you want to try a new kind of food, shouldn't you be polite and not say anything like "this is weird" or "this is gross" (especially if it could hurt someone) when someone takes you out to a restaurant with the foods you want to try? I would understand if she said things like "this is very different than what I'm used to" or "I don't really like this" then I wouldn't be offended, but by saying our dishes are weird and gross...I don't know. She could've said it a different way...especially if she's SO HARD to please.

Sorry for the long rant...just a little hurt

Your friend is just plain rude. I,myself, am a super picky eater - I eat extremely extremely healthy,however, when I go out with friends I try not to concentrate on my eating habits and not to involve my friends in them. If your friend felt that the food looked weird when it came out,she could have just skipped a meal rather than eating it and then bashing it afterwards.