[PrincessMe]

I am been, in my mind, so extremely close to a relative of mine since forever.

a few years ago, she started working at a club, a strip club but she told me she only worked at the door.
but then she started to tell me she was making thousands of dollars a nite and when i would ask how are you making so much money? she'd say that people tipped her for letting them in.

Everytime i asked about any of this, she'd talk to me in the most condescending way, like i was an idiot and crazy for wondering about any of this. she acts like shes a virgin and mortified that id think anything "weird" was going on...

she brags about about how her and her friends from the club go to LV on 5th and all the SA's flip out bc they spend so much money. i could care less but its how shes bragging like they're better than me thats so irratating.
and strangely enough, whenever i asked her where are all of these bags? ive never seen them? she told me they lost them! whatever...

now tonite dh came home from golf and told me that someone he played with today was talking about how he goes to strip clubs..dh asked him "have u ever gone to ____(the name of club she works in)?" bc he knows of the situation ive been in w/ her lies...

and the man said " oh i dont go there for strippers, i go there for hookers! ITS A WHORE HOUSE!!"
he went on to say they have rooms that you go in and then a girl comes in and has sex with the men!!

I am so shocked and disgusted!! i know ive had suspicions but this is grosser than anything i ever imagined! and its so sad too bc i love my relative and wonder whats wrong with her to do this???

but then at the same time, shes been such a b*tc* to me,all the lies & treating me like dirt, idk..i dont know what to feel....

i am relieved though to know the truth now though bc this has been going on for years! and even just the other day i saw her and she was still bragging and still acting like a virgin and like im the gross one for, get this, bc she said dh is ugly & disgusting!!meanwhile he's not!!

its enough to make u feel like ur going crazy bc its all so out of touch with reality. i just dont get why anyone would act this way.

Im mad too bc i have offered her so many jobs working with me and she wont (basically bc she always acts like shes better than me) like im a loser for working..i feel like confronting her but then i dont want to bc i think she must be crazy to be doing this in the first place and i dont want to make it worse for her..idk, im scared bc i feel like she could die there..maybe i should say something...thanks for letting me vent. i'd appreciate any thoughts..

[PrincessMe]

im sofa king heartbroken, i cant believe it .i just looked at her picture and its too much..it one of the last things in the world ud want for someone u love

[savhgirly]

Im so sorry your going threw this I know how hard this is on you I had a friend in a similar situation she told me for 2 years she was a bartender I tried talking to her so many times and we are no longer really friends because that was her life and we could not talk about it at all. It was like she just became something she had never been and I feel bad for her and her daughter but what can you do?

[PrincessMe]

Thank so much savhgirly you're right, there's nothing we can do. i just have to let go
im sorry this happened to you too. i dont know why anyone would turn away from people who really care about them like we do, it doesnt make sense

[angel143]

awww... but you know what? you tried your best to help her out, if she thinks she's too good to do real work instead of degrading herself like that... then it's on her.

[imashopaholic]

There's no point confronting her. She's an adult and can make her own decisions and trying to talk some sense into her may only make things worse. Just take a step back and if she chooses to discuss it with you, then you should voice your concerns and offer her support. Good luck with it.

[MJDaisy]

omgosh you poor thing. i'm afraid that i don't have any good advice, that is such a tough situation. sending good vibes your way.

[boxermom]

I'm sorry about the hurt you're feeling right now. She's made her choices. Try not to dwell on her. This is truly one of those things you can't do anything about except pray for her to be safe.

[QueenOfDa702]

Originally Posted by imashopaholic

There's no point confronting her. She's an adult and can make her own decisions and trying to talk some sense into her may only make things worse. Just take a step back and if she chooses to discuss it with you, then you should voice your concerns and offer her support. Good luck with it.

I agree.

It sucks she lied, but she is ashamed, of course she is going to lie about it! Not too many people would be open about something like that.

[Virgo]

You don't know for a fact that she works there and is a hooker. She has lied about the bags she buys (she lost them? yeah right), so maybe she is just a liar? She said she works there but in fact doesn't? Have you seen any proof that she is making tons of money?

[PrincessMe]

^^Virgo ur right, she is 1000% a liar ( so i dont know why i'd believe anything she says anymore)but i realized i left more proof out of my post...there are more details i left out, this was just the final straw for me. there are more details but i think i'll leave them out bc..well..theres even been things i found on the internet( that she always denies)so she def works there..theres more but its just too much to print here

and she would always tell me "no im a "waitress" there" but this man that dh met today said no every girl that works there is a prostitute, everyone and the guys pick who they want to do it with..he told everything ..its all just rooms for sex. thats it

some one else told me this too afew weeks ago but i just didnt want to believe them and i figured that person didnt really know but this guy dh met..hes in that business so..its cant be a coincidence that two people know about that place

and of course like you said queen, i can understand not wanting share this with me but its just how she acted to nasty and put me & everyone down and acted like shes this virgin and so much better than everybody, its just like wow ..all the lies for so long, its mindblowing..

I really wouldnt judge anyone for what they choose to do as long as there not hurting themselves or others..im not thinking shes a bad person for doing this..its just so crazy how she acted the TOTAL opposite and put everyone down and i mean this place sounds really aweful not even stripping but just ..its just aweful


imashopoholic thanks you for the advise. i just spoke with another relative who knows her and she agreed..its just best to not say anything, she'd be embarrassed and i dont want that..hopefully she'll just stop this. ill just keep praying for her, esp to be safe
Thank you boxermom, angel & mj ..i really appreciate everyones advise so much thank you

[merika]

Well, it's her life and her choices as boxermom said. I'm sorry you feel upset but she's a grown woman and there is little you can do.

[PrincessMe]

^^ your right merika..i love her so much. i just have to let go and stay focused on my own life & goals, i guess.
you guys are right, theres nothing i can do
at least now i know the truth so i dont have to be confused & lied to and i dont have wonder anymore. it was a total waste of time & energy i guess

[VPT]

At least she gets paid to do it and paid big. I can't tell you how many people I know including a very very close friend, who does it for free for cheap treats here and there. She's not even into designer items so she doesn't ask for alot if you know what I mean. A short weekend vacation to a nearby country and she's happy already.

I used to despise prostitutes, until it broke my heart to know what my friend has been through! I don't think prostitution is an easy job either. I mean put yourself in her shoes, if you have a horrible client you still have to perform because it's your job.

As for your relative, the real issue is beyond her job. She probably thinks you scorn her because why then would you have so kindly offered her decent jobs? Maybe it's time to just let go? Disassociate yourself with her just keep the distance. If you happen to run into her, just be friendly as ever but don't behave too intrusive. Accept the fact that she's resigned to this career and try to respect that. I'm not saying anything she's doing is right but people who are in the flesh business tend to have a better than thou attitude. It took me YEARS to get to grips with my close friend choosing this shady concubine business, and recently I had a heart to heart conversation with her saying I do not disapprove it but I accept her decision. Since then our friendship grew stronger, and she no longer lied to me like she did when she started this "job".

Such people have their mind set on something it's very hard for you to change their ways because of their inferiority complex. You're smarter, cleaner, luckier, and they feel they're not. If you stopped looking down on them maybe things might change.

[Zophie]

Just because she works in a strip club with a lot of extras doesn't mean she is doing them herself. Or maybe she is. Honestly, if a friend of mine wanted to do that, so be it. It sounds like she might be somewhat insecure if she is always bragging about her money. She's probably uncomfortable telling people what she does and hopes it will make you accept her.