semi breakup

[sonya]

Just feeling melancholy because a guy that I was casually seeing told me yesterday that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. I understand his point of view, but I still feel a bit sad about it because I really like him. We both decided -- I brought it up and insisted -- that we should be platonic friends. I know it's irrational but I feel like I'm going through a breakup right now, even know we only went out on a couple dates.

Just wondering if anyone else has ever been in a similar circumstance and how you dealt with it. It's a break up but not really, somewhat hard to explain....

Thanks.

[keya]

it's no wonder that you feel that way, you probably had hopes and they've been destroyed.

[Fishfood]

Originally Posted by keya

it's no wonder that you feel that way, you probably had hopes and they've been destroyed.

ITA. A lot of times when we're upset and it's early on in a relationship, you don't miss the "relationship", you miss the "potential".

GL gal, good you found out early. Have a girls night in (just you, bubbles and champagne work nicely!) then throw yourself back out there Hugs

[IntlSet]

Originally Posted by sonya

Just feeling melancholy because a guy that I was casually seeing told me yesterday that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. I understand his point of view, but I still feel a bit sad about it because I really like him. We both decided -- I brought it up and insisted -- that we should be platonic friends. I know it's irrational but I feel like I'm going through a breakup right now, even know we only went out on a couple dates. Just wondering if anyone else has ever been in a similar circumstance and how you dealt with it. It's a break up but not really, somewhat hard to explain.... Thanks.

Sonya, you are too fabulous to feel melancholy... maybe it's not to the best, though, to be platonic friends... contact with him may just keep the sparks you feel alive.

I think you are VERY wise not to just end up being "friends with benefits" with a guy who clearly doesn't want to commit (but knowing you, I doubt he would turn down having a good time anyway).

[ally24k]

how come you brought up the "breakup" if you wanted to be with him?

[chinadoll724]

Originally Posted by ally24k

how come you brought up the "breakup" if you wanted to be with him?

I think she means that she brought up the staying platonic friends, not the breakup.

And I agree with what's been said so far. Even when relationships are new, we'll sometimes fantasize about what it could be, and now you don't get a chance to see that all come to life. Simply, we attach to certain people faster than we do others and it still hurts when we're rejected especially if we thought it was going well.

I'm glad that he figured out what he wanted early on and didn't string you along. :) That kind of guy just might be worth having around as a friend, but make sure you're not keeping him around in the hopes of changing his mind - that would only cause you more pain.

[sonya]

Originally Posted by chinadoll724

I'm glad that he figured out what he wanted early on and didn't string you along. :) That kind of guy just might be worth having around as a friend, but make sure you're not keeping him around in the hopes of changing his mind - that would only cause you more pain.

I'm not actually going to talk to him for awhile so that I can let my head clear a bit and get over him. Then I will be ready to be his friend. I don't believe in changing people's minds, especially when they are at the point in their lives when all they want to do is have fun.

[sonya]

Thank you for your kind comments. I really felt terrible yesterday, but am feeling a bit better now. And, yes, it's a good thing that I found out in the beginning, rather than later. :)

[article3]

I totally understand. I've had a few quasi-dates lately, all of which petered out, and I got pretty emotionally invested in them - at least more than I would have, say, a year or so ago. It's definitely disappointing when you have expectations, and they don't pan out. I'm sorry girl.

[missmustard]

Originally Posted by chinadoll724

I think she means that she brought up the staying platonic friends, not the breakup. And I agree with what's been said so far. Even when relationships are new, we'll sometimes fantasize about what it could be, and now you don't get a chance to see that all come to life. Simply, we attach to certain people faster than we do others and it still hurts when we're rejected especially if we thought it was going well. I'm glad that he figured out what he wanted early on and didn't string you along. :) That kind of guy just might be worth having around as a friend, but make sure you're not keeping him around in the hopes of changing his mind - that would only cause you more pain.

What she said. I couldn't have put it more eloquently!