[~Fabulousity~]

Why is it that sometimes when a gal is seeing a guy he doesnt do the things she wants and then he comes back years later doing saying all the things she wanted back when they were dating

Here's the story...

8 yrs ago I met this guy, very accomplished doctor, never married, no kids, all the things most women would want. We dated on and off for about 1 1/2. I married back in 2003 and all communication stopped as it should have becaue I got married. Well a few weeks ago now that hubby and I are no more I decided to email Mr. X and see how he has been, he was totally happy to hear from me and insisted we have dinner. I was reluctant cause I knew he still liked me and probably would want to rekindle what we once had. I have no interest in him other than as friends. Anywho since my kids were home, instead of him picking me up I met him at his place so we could go to dinner from there. When we got into his car and started to chat, I said to him "hey my birthday was last week, tell me happy birthday!" to which he replied "thats right you are a December baby, happy birthday! do me a favor and open the glove box I need you to hand me something" When I opened the glove box there was the cutest little wrapped box and he said "oh yeah thats for you happy birthday"

I thought that was so incredibly nice of him
I thanked him and at dinner during conversation he asked me what happened between me and my Jack A of a husband I gave him the short version and then told him that I was not interested in having more kids. He then went on to say "well why not?what if you married a guy with like a lot of money and you could get a nanny and all?" My response was "its not about money and nannies I just dont wanna go through pregnancy again" then get this, he says "I don't know I might wanna put a little bun in that oven" I immediately was at a loss for words so I laughed it off and quickly changed the subject. Now years ago when I was so into him I would have loved to hear that, but now its like

Men I tell ya!

Thanks for listening to my rant...

[HubbaWubba]

What was in the box?

Kind of jumping the gun, no? You had one date with this person, even though you dated in the past. He already wants a bun in the oven with nannies? I suggest if you don't want anymore kids, make sure YOU keep it that way.

[queenvictoria2]

Just curious, but HOW did you know he still liked you if you haven't had contact with him?
And why did you even call him if you were "reluctant" to go out to dinner with him?

Sorry, but I am WAY confused ...

[~Fabulousity~]

Originally Posted by HubbaWubba

What was in the box?

Kind of jumping the gun, no? You had one date with this person, even though you dated in the past. He already wants a bun in the oven with nannies? I suggest if you don't want anymore kids, make sure YOU keep it that way.

Ooops sorry, I forgot to mention the most important part, the gift
It was a necklace with a medallion type pendant, white gold, really pretty.
Your right HubbaWubba, i'm not worried cause he won't be getting anywhere near the goodies to make any buns or anything else.

[~Fabulousity~]

Originally Posted by queenvictoria2

Just curious, but HOW did you know he still liked you if you haven't had contact with him?
And why did you even call him if you were "reluctant" to go out to dinner with him?

Sorry, but I am WAY confused ...

We had contact last year when hubby and I split, he has never stopped liking me I ended things between us. Have you ever dated a guy who you knew would always like you and have you back as long as he wasn't seeing anyone? Its that type of situation.
Don't read too much into this, I was just sharing a little story, seems like your tryn'a read between the lines or something. Oh and I emailed him, not called him.

[Leah411]

Originally Posted by ~Fabulousity~

We had contact last year when hubby and I split, he has never stopped liking me I ended things between us. Have you ever dated a guy who you knew would always like you and have you back as long as he wasn't seeing anyone? Its that type of situation.
Don't read too much into this, I was just sharing a little story, seems like your tryn'a read between the lines or something. Oh and I emailed him, not called him.

BUT....you emailed him knowing full well how he felt about you and that he was still available. AND you said he was the type of guy who would 'always' have you back. AND that he would want to "rekindle" what you once had.

That was no innocent "how are you doing" email.

[lulilu]

I agree you were sending him the signal you were interested in him.

[gillianna]

By you accepting the gift is also sending him a signal. You just got out of a relationship....maybe you are looking to have the feeling that someone likes you but to me this is leading him on and not a nice thing to do to a person. If your ex husband was someone you thought was Mr. Right and it didn't work out how do you know a person like this who will treat you good has to be Mr. Wrong??????

[Speedy]

Umm... I have to agree with some of the posts, I think you contacted him because subconsciencesly you needed the ego stroke. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you don't lead him on.

[LissiSays]

I almost want to agree with Speedy but I don't want to get yelled at by anyone else. Plus part of me disagrees with that concept although I admit to doing it as well a few times. LOL! Anyways... I would only disagree because I'm the type that can handle a friendship with an ex-SO. I would cut off communications out of respect and at the request of any new SO I have. Just because I understand how others feel about a friendship with an ex even though I have no feeling at all. So I would understand if OP says she emailed innocently after her end with her husband. Although, it's obvious he still has feelings.

May I ask why the relationship never worked out in the first place and why you wouldn't be interested in a relationship now?

[berryblondeboys]

Originally Posted by Leah411

BUT....you emailed him knowing full well how he felt about you and that he was still available. AND you said he was the type of guy who would 'always' have you back. AND that he would want to "rekindle" what you once had.

That was no innocent "how are you doing" email.

Yep....NEVER have a date with someone who you KNOW still has it for you unless you also want to restart something. You sent a CLEAR signal of interest.

It's nice to feel loved and sexy, but it's not nice to string someone along. Leave him alone unless you DO want to start something and then be HONEST about the kids thing if you know you really are done.

[devoted]

OP was just trying to tell a funny story about a man she would have loved to be involved with in the past.
maybe she did e-mail him only to see what might potentially develop, no harm in that. I doubt they'll be dating regulary though

[Speedy]

Aww, Lissi, you won't get yelled at. Notice I gave the OP an out... I siad there was nothing wrong with it as long as she doesn't lead him on. But I cannot see any reason for contacting an old love after a marriage fails unless you need some unconscience desire fufilled. As long as you understand this is what you are doing, and you don't set him up to be hurt, nothing wrong with it.

It's obvious to me they've both matured, even though it's completely opposite of what they were once like.

[Bella]

Originally Posted by devoted

OP was just trying to tell a funny story about a man she would have loved to be involved with in the past.
maybe she did e-mail him only to see what might potentially develop, no harm in that. I doubt they'll be dating regulary though

I agree, just a funny story.........

bun in the oven comment==funny story.

[simpleplan]

Talking about or tapping into old issues you've had is a way of flirting for exlovers..nothing more..I think he was just joking, don't worry about it. Nothing will happen that you won't let..plus it was sweet that he remembered your birthday!