[sheishollywood]

My ex and I broke up at the end of March after 2 years of being pretty serious. We didn't talk for a month and a half straight... and I was getting better. He came back and begged for me back. I said no, and found out that he did things that were WRONG and he lied about it because he was too big of a chicken to tell me the truth. I let him know that it was my decision to make whether or not I wanted to get back together with him from what he's done. He needs to grow up and realize that his actions have consequences and if he doesn't want to "pay the consequences" he should think twice about what he does. So from then on we tried to be friends... we didn't do anything that crossed that line, but all of a sudden after a few weeks of building our friendship again, he started pressuring me to get back together. I kept saying no and he got angry. He never really UNDERSTOOD why I said no and that he had no reason to be angry when he had done so many things wrong (yes, I did too, but not to the degree of what he did and then lied about it). So about a month ago I just told him point blank that I had thought about maybe being able to work through things in the WAY WAY WAY future ... I'm talking years because I felt that we didn't even have a foundation anymore and I just wanted to start rebuilding our friendship at least...

That was a month ago... I have only spoken to him once which was on his birthday to wish him a happy birthday. Anyway, yesterday I realized what a sorry as*hole he really is. He had done this before where when he was upset he would say such MEAN things about me and not realize that it could get back to me. He didn't realize that yesterday he was talking to a girl (whom he graduated high school with whom he isn't even close friends with) and airing our dirty laundry to her, her sister graduated with ME and who is MY FRIEND. He didn't put the two pieces together that the girl he told would tell her sister about me and she would talk to me (being MY friend!)

He basically told her (after not even talking since they've graduated from HS in 2002) that I was a phsyco who didn't let him do anything, that it should've been over 3 months after we started dating, that I was obsessive, that I was the one who "RUINED" his life, and that I was a waste of time and energy...

I think I'm just upset because even though I know I made the right decision to walk away, I didn't see how IMMATURE he could be... and how DISRESPECTFUL of me he could've be.

[oo0ehxtahcee0oo]

Sorry to hear about this Sweetheart! At least he's not even in your life anymore! What kind of ass can be beggin you back while trash talking you?? Geez, what a little boy! Seriously! So glad he's no longer with you. You deserve much better, and I'm glad that you see that!!

[Speedy]

Looks like you got out in time!

[sheishollywood]

Sorry I meant to say SEPTEMBER not March:P

Thanks for the support. I'm just so angry that someone I devoted 2 years to (I guess it isn't too long) and I was so close to his family etc could be like that. And for the record, compared to his other ex, I was so easy going. I didn't ask him to "check in", I hung out with his friends, and let him hang out with his friends when he wanted to etc. The fact that he didn't choose to hang out with them and wanted to spend all his time with me was apparently MY fault afterwards because he said I wouldn't let him - he never made any initiative.

I guess it's easier to blame someone else then themselves for their regrets...

[oo0ehxtahcee0oo]

still, 2 years... 2 years too long!!

[luvamoramore]

Good riddance! He wasn't good enough for you and when the time comes, you'll meet the right guy who will treat you like a princess!

[bagnshoofetish]

Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Just be glad you see him clearly now. Don't look at it as 2 years wasted. You learned alot. You had some fun too. You got some valuable experience. The only way it could ever be a waste is if you learned nothing and go on to repeat your mistakes. Otherwise, its golden, priceless experience you would have never gotten anywhere else. Its made you a stronger, smarter woman and now you have something to offer others when they come to you about a similar situation. Battle scars sweetie, we all have them!

[azhangie]

Ure ex sounds like an ex of mine! He did very bad things...things i cant even or should mention here. I found out after 2 yr that he was flirting with my best friend's SISTER! who is actually my friend as well...and i guess he didnt put it together that i'd somehow find out?!?! Anyways, one day my friend tells me that my bf has been flirting (full on) with her sister and her sister's been wanting to tell me but dont really know how. Her sister was going thru some rought imes with her bf at the time and thought he was just another friend to talk to...turns out he had other intentions. Anyways...long story short after that incident i found out about all the OTHER things he's been doing behind my back...it was really heartbreaking because it was like i totally didnt know him anymore. We broke up...didnt talk for a month...he tried to talk to me and be "friends". But i was already too disgusted with his behavior that i just shut him out completely.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but honestly it's a good thing you realised what kind of jerk he really is. I've realised that some plp are relaly good at hiding who they really are inside...i stay away from those plp now. I keep my distance from anyone that sweet talks!

[wordpast]

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Just be glad you see him clearly now. Don't look at it as 2 years wasted. You learned alot. You had some fun too. You got some valuable experience. The only way it could ever be a waste is if you learned nothing and go on to repeat your mistakes. Otherwise, its golden, priceless experience you would have never gotten anywhere else. Its made you a stronger, smarter woman and now you have something to offer others when they come to you about a similar situation. Battle scars sweetie, we all have them!

Good post!!

[merde111]

Thanks for the support. I'm just so angry that someone I devoted 2 years to (I guess it isn't too long) and I was so close to his family etc could be like that. And for the record, compared to his other ex, I was so easy going. I didn't ask him to "check in", I hung out with his friends, and let him hang out with his friends when he wanted to etc. The fact that he didn't choose to hang out with them and wanted to spend all his time with me was apparently MY fault afterwards because he said I wouldn't let him - he never made any initiative.

Jerky guys/people will ALWAYS blame you for anything they did wrong--it's easier and it doesn't require them to admit that they are not very nice people! Good women like us, even though we know we didn't do anything, will often still feel bad because that person sounds so convincing when they accuse us of things. Don't fall for it! You know you did the right thing in breaking up with such a weak liar and loser--thank goodness now you can see him for who he really is, and he can't manipulate you any more!

Also--yes, you spent two years with him--but look at it as a learning experience. If those two years mean that you don't waste any more time in your life with men who treat you that way--because you have learned that it's better to dump them and find someone truly kind and caring--then it was worth it!

Best of luck and (((big hugs))))!!!!!

[dlovely51]

Don't have anything to the great advice you've been given so far. Just wanted to say keep your head up, and keep looking forward, not backwards. This guy is bitter and not getting what he wants, so he's going to slander you to anyone who will listen. A reflection of his character and maturity not yours.

Again, sorry to hear it, but you'll get through this just fine

[keya]

Originally Posted by merde111

Jerky guys/people will ALWAYS blame you for anything they did wrong--it's easier and it doesn't require them to admit that they are not very nice people!

exactly! You should be glad you finally see him for what a disrespectful a**hole he is, so that you wont waste any more time on him. I'm going through something similar, my ex deceived me in ways I wont even go into and lied to me about everything, so I ditched him and now HE's angry with me! I don't even understand how he comes off thinking he has a right to be mad after what he did to me! You know, I never said a bad word to him or about him (I just told him we were over and that was it) and I would've liked to think he'd at least respect me enough to return the favor. Guess not

[Purses]

How awful to have gone through that experience and to have been with him for 2 years! This is what I am afraid of when I meet someone new. How can you really know if the information you are getting from him is the truth?

I really feel for you and I hope that you become a stronger person.

[sheishollywood]

Originally Posted by keya

exactly! You should be glad you finally see him for what a disrespectful a**hole he is, so that you wont waste any more time on him. I'm going through something similar, my ex deceived me in ways I wont even go into and lied to me about everything, so I ditched him and now HE's angry with me! I don't even understand how he comes off thinking he has a right to be mad after what he did to me! You know, I never said a bad word to him or about him (I just told him we were over and that was it) and I would've liked to think he'd at least respect me enough to return the favor. Guess not

Thank you all!

Keya, you know EXACTLY how I feel. How can THEY be upset with US when they were the ones who LIED to us. Sure, maybe we shouldn't have been so clingy, sure we shouldn't have nagged about the dirty dishes, but is that really a reason for them to cheat, lie, and manipulate us like that? and when we stand up for ourselves all of a sudden WE'RE the idiots? I don't think so... I really don't understand where they both get off being upset at us when our actions are a consequence of what they've done. I also thought he'd respect me enough to not speak about me as though I was the dirt beneath his shoes...

But you're all right. He's bitter and he will talk big to make up for smaller things...

[keya]

Originally Posted by sheishollywood

Thank you all!

Keya, you know EXACTLY how I feel. How can THEY be upset with US when they were the ones who LIED to us. Sure, maybe we shouldn't have been so clingy, sure we shouldn't have nagged about the dirty dishes, but is that really a reason for them to cheat, lie, and manipulate us like that? and when we stand up for ourselves all of a sudden WE'RE the idiots? I don't think so... I really don't understand where they both get off being upset at us when our actions are a consequence of what they've done. I also thought he'd respect me enough to not speak about me as though I was the dirt beneath his shoes...

But you're all right. He's bitter and he will talk big to make up for smaller things...

I think the best thing for us to do is to not stoop to their level, they don't deserve the gratification of knowing that they still get to us. I think that's exactly what they want, to make us feel like we mean nothing to them to punish us for leaving, when the fact that they're still talking about it proves otherwise. I make a point out of never talking about him, especially to our mutual friends, as I don't want anything coming back to him. I don't understand where the anger comes from, I didn't do anything wrong, and he should be mature enough to take responsibility for the consequences of his own actions instead of blaming it all on me I really did love him, but it's time for me to start loving myself more, and I deserve to be treated better. And so do you