[bubblegum22]

I am going to be filing for divorce soon and have so many questions. We have tried to work it out and were friendly but just not working. I told him last night and he doesn't seem horriable about it. We have a 8 year old. He is very go with the flow but I am still worried how it will affect him. I guess I am just wondering what to expect ...any words would be so helpful!

[H&H]

Did you tell your son already? I myself have not experience a divorce. I think often the difficulty is how parents react on it. Also what if you get a new man in your life or he another woman. I think it is important to talk about these things. Are you going to have shared custody?

[Jill]

sit down and talk to your son about it .......it helps to prepare your child so they arent surprised(they usually DO know when something is up though)

[laundry]

Kids are self-centered by nature, so just be sure to explicitly tell him that you're not separating because of him and you both love him just as much as before. It sounds like a no-brainer, but a lot of kids I work with bring it up.

[cammy1]

Originally Posted by Jill

sit down and talk to your son about it .......it helps to prepare your child so they arent surprised(they usually DO know when something is up though)

I agree...it will effect your son the most- your husband seems like my dad when my mom asked for a divorce prehaps he is really hiding how he really feels?

[bubblegum22]

^^Perhaps he is hiding it but that is what led us to this, no matter how much I cry or beg he won't show any feelings or emotion. I am almost wondering if he want's a Divorce as much as I do but just cannot admit it. We haven't told our son yet but we do plan to do it together.

[bubblegum22]

I am just so scared and confused right now. we are still living together and have to for a couple of more months which is torture! I feel so alone it's been quite some time (11 years) since I have been single and I don't know what to do with myself. I just keep crying and crying. I just want everything over and done with.

[Speedy]

Hang in there honey. I know how this feels, been divorced three times myself. I know it's hard, but you have a whole new life ahead for you and your son.

You may want to talk to your doctor about the emotional ups and downs, he may prescribe a mild tranquilizer for you.

I keep you in my thoughts and heart.

[bagnshoofetish]

I'm so sorry. I have no advice since I have not ever been in that position and have no kids. I'll keep you in prayer though. Big hug.

[bubblegum22]

Originally Posted by Speedy

Hang in there honey. I know how this feels, been divorced three times myself. I know it's hard, but you have a whole new life ahead for you and your son.

You may want to talk to your doctor about the emotional ups and downs, he may prescribe a mild tranquilizer for you.

I keep you in my thoughts and heart.

I think the worst part is he isn't terrible just on his own island so to speak. I have been miserable for 6 years being ignored etc and tried to tell him 4 years ago i was falling out of love and he didn't change anything, then last year about this time I told him i was consdering Divorce and he acted as if i was insane! so every few months I brought it up again until about 3 months ago I said I am doing it if things don't change. He promised they would, he is a little nicer but that's it! He doesn't want to get divorced but will go through with it if I want to as he says. Everyone tell's me he is a jerk and not very nice (not abuse though) I just have this habit of feeling bad for people...

[Mustlovedogs]

Originally Posted by bubblegum22

I am going to be filing for divorce soon and have so many questions. We have tried to work it out and were friendly but just not working. I told him last night and he doesn't seem horriable about it. We have a 8 year old. He is very go with the flow but I am still worried how it will affect him. I guess I am just wondering what to expect ...any words would be so helpful!

From experience I can tell you to try and wrap things up ASAP because although you're getting along now, don't expect that to last. You will both go through a variety of emotions and behaviors in the road to being divorced. Hopefully, you will come back to a "friendly" place in the end to co-parent your son.
Kids are resilient but it will be tough on him. Always assure him that no matter what you will always be his mother and his daddy will always be his father. Unfortunately, they are the ones to suffer for many of our decisions.
Then once you get out on your own it will take time for you to get your "sea legs". Sometimes I felt like I was in a round room looking for a corner to sit in. But rest assured, you will come out on the other end sooner or later and you will survive it!! Just hang in there, find time to spend with friends and family who are supportive, spend time with your son and hang in there!!!!

[Speedy]

Originally Posted by bubblegum22

I think the worst part is he isn't terrible just on his own island so to speak. I have been miserable for 6 years being ignored etc and tried to tell him 4 years ago i was falling out of love and he didn't change anything, then last year about this time I told him i was consdering Divorce and he acted as if i was insane! so every few months I brought it up again until about 3 months ago I said I am doing it if things don't change. He promised they would, he is a little nicer but that's it! He doesn't want to get divorced but will go through with it if I want to as he says. Everyone tell's me he is a jerk and not very nice (not abuse though) I just have this habit of feeling bad for people...

My Number 3 husband was like this, emotionaly detatched to what I was feeling. It hit him like a ton of bricks when I left him and took our son, but he did nothing to change even after that. He was very, very selfish. I hear he remarried a few years ago, and I really feel sorry for his new wife.

I wsh you luck honey. Honestly. I so know how this feels, I am tearing up at the memories of what he did all those (20) years ago. Hang in there!

[simpleplan]

Originally Posted by bubblegum22

I am going to be filing for divorce soon and have so many questions. We have tried to work it out and were friendly but just not working. I told him last night and he doesn't seem horriable about it. We have a 8 year old. He is very go with the flow but I am still worried how it will affect him. I guess I am just wondering what to expect ...any words would be so helpful!

My divorce humbled me as a person. It was the toughest time for me, emotionally and mentally..but in the end after all the court dates..it's all about my love for my son and the friendship that has turned beautiful between my ex and I- for my son's wellbeing and ours..It sounds lame, but Love saved us in the end, even if our marriage was over.

[lolitablue]

Great suggestions! I am considering this option myself! Thank you for sharing ladies. It really helps to vent here.

[balihai88]

I'm sure it wasn't easy to come to this decision and, while I don't have much advice specific to divorce, following your heart, keeping your head up, and knowing that you can survive anything (this included) will see you through.