question for divorced/remarried folks

madamefifi · Jun 11th, 2008, 05:44 AM

So...I call my ex-husband "my ex-husband", but I am sort of stuck on how to refer to DH. Tonight I was chatting with an elderly patient and his wife, they have been married for about a million years and are clearly still very much in love (they went for a stroll in the hall together holding hands---very sweet) and I referred to DH as "my current husband" and it just sounded so awkward and kind of sleezy, KWIM? As if he is just a stop along the line for me or something. I could tell this nice couple were a bit taken aback by my mention of divorce and remarriage, something with which their generation has limited experience, I would imagine. Normally I just call him "my husband" unless of course the conversation referrences my former marriage as well. I thought of "my forever husband" but that's a bit cutesy for me. Maybe I'm just over-thinking it but I thought I'd throw it out there and see what those of you in marriage no. 2 have to say.

barcreperie · Jun 11th, 2008, 05:55 AM

I call my husband 'my husband' and my ex-husband 'my ex-husband'. I don't think that's confusing at all. I would never refer to my husband as my 'current husband' because it sounds like I'm planning on there being another one after him.

LadyLinda · Jun 11th, 2008, 08:40 AM

I laugh now, but I know exactly what you mean. At the very first when I remarried, I said "my current husband" or "my new husband," only to realize how inane that sounded. Was I really that awkward? Or maybe ambivalent? No! I'd just been married to that other guy for over 20 years. It was hard breaking the habit of thinking of him as "also a husband, just before this one", or my now spouse as "my husband, too." But I got through my messed up psychology and so will you.

Now, after several months of marriage, my husband is simply "my husband." No one else is my husband, so he gets the honors.

Now the former husband, well, I call him "your father" to the three sons I had with him. I call him by his given name to most everyone else. And I call him "my ex" or "the ex" or "the man I used to be married to" when it's necessary to acknowledge that prior relationship. Very occasionally I will say, "My first husband..." or "oh, him."

In conversations with my spouse, I call him by his given name or, not infrequently, a derogatory nickname.

You'll find your own pet ways of referring to the man formerly known as "my husband."

~Fabulousity~ · Jun 11th, 2008, 10:13 AM

I'm not yet divorced but his name right now is "the idiot" sorry I know you're looking for real advice I just couldnt help myself

merika · Jun 11th, 2008, 10:26 AM

I don't like it when people say 'current husband' which makes me think they are going to trade him in when the next model comes along, lol. To me, ex-husband is ex-husband, and (current) husband is 'husband'.

ilovepinkhearts · Jun 11th, 2008, 10:47 AM

my husband is my "husband"...my ex is ''oh you mean that retard" or just "ex husband". hehehe

caxe · Jun 11th, 2008, 01:33 PM

Just call him your husband. There's nothing really tricky about that. Call your ex-husband your... *drumroll* ex-husband.

My BF calls his ex-wife "the ex." If I said, simply, "the ex," that could refer to any number of men. LOL.

lovinalotofbags · Jun 11th, 2008, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Fabulousity~

I'm not yet divorced but his name right now is "the idiot" sorry I know you're looking for real advice I just couldnt help myself

LOL

Whoever you are married to at the current time is your husband even if you have been married 8 times. The others are ex-husbands or 1st ex, 2nd ex and so on.

halle_nicole · Jun 11th, 2008, 10:14 PM

Just call him your husband.

csamcharlie · Jun 11th, 2008, 11:35 PM

I'd say just call him your husband. But then again, I still call my ex-husband "my husband" sometimes. Thank goodness my BF isn't around when that slips out.

gina8521 · Jun 12th, 2008, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barcreperie

I call my husband 'my husband' and my ex-husband 'my ex-husband'. I don't think that's confusing at all. I would never refer to my husband as my 'current husband' because it sounds like I'm planning on there being another one after him.

That is what I would say too.

BagLadie · Jun 12th, 2008, 09:26 AM

This is hilarious. I would just say husband too. Current means there could be another one in the future.

muggles · Jun 12th, 2008, 11:35 AM

Read through this! It kinda makes you dizzy!I have 2 ex's and 1 current, never say never, #4 could happen someday!!

cosmogrl5 · Jun 12th, 2008, 12:48 PM

I definitely agree with those who said just to refer to your current husband as "your husband" and your ex as "your ex-husband."

Jun 11th, 2008, 05:44 AM	#1
madamefifi cat hoarder Location: virginia	question for divorced/remarried folks So...I call my ex-husband "my ex-husband", but I am sort of stuck on how to refer to DH. Tonight I was chatting with an elderly patient and his wife, they have been married for about a million years and are clearly still very much in love (they went for a stroll in the hall together holding hands---very sweet) and I referred to DH as "my current husband" and it just sounded so awkward and kind of sleezy, KWIM? As if he is just a stop along the line for me or something. I could tell this nice couple were a bit taken aback by my mention of divorce and remarriage, something with which their generation has limited experience, I would imagine. Normally I just call him "my husband" unless of course the conversation referrences my former marriage as well. I thought of "my forever husband" but that's a bit cutesy for me. Maybe I'm just over-thinking it but I thought I'd throw it out there and see what those of you in marriage no. 2 have to say. __________________ Happiness is a home with at least one cat. On a complete EVERYTHING ban until after Christmas!!!! http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/c...faces?siteId=3

Jun 11th, 2008, 10:26 AM	#5
merika Just me Location: In front of a computer	I don't like it when people say 'current husband' which makes me think they are going to trade him in when the next model comes along, lol. To me, ex-husband is ex-husband, and (current) husband is 'husband'. __________________ I will also gladly authenticate your chocolates for you.

Jun 11th, 2008, 10:47 AM	#6
ilovepinkhearts hi, i'm danielle Location: Texas	my husband is my "husband"...my ex is ''oh you mean that retard" or just "ex husband". hehehe __________________

Jun 11th, 2008, 01:33 PM	#7
caxe Loves root beer. Location: The Southeast, US	Just call him your husband. There's nothing really tricky about that. Call your ex-husband your... drumroll ex-husband. My BF calls his ex-wife "the ex." If I said, simply, "the ex," that could refer to any number of men. LOL. __________________ Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy.

Jun 12th, 2008, 09:26 AM	#12
BagLadie Got a handle on it Location: Red Sox Nation	This is hilarious. I would just say husband too. Current means there could be another one in the future. __________________ One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Jun 11th, 2008, 05:55 AM	#2
barcreperie Member	I call my husband 'my husband' and my ex-husband 'my ex-husband'. I don't think that's confusing at all. I would never refer to my husband as my 'current husband' because it sounds like I'm planning on there being another one after him.

Jun 11th, 2008, 08:40 AM	#3
LadyLinda Member Location: Philadelphia	I laugh now, but I know exactly what you mean. At the very first when I remarried, I said "my current husband" or "my new husband," only to realize how inane that sounded. Was I really that awkward? Or maybe ambivalent? No! I'd just been married to that other guy for over 20 years. It was hard breaking the habit of thinking of him as "also a husband, just before this one", or my now spouse as "my husband, too." But I got through my messed up psychology and so will you. Now, after several months of marriage, my husband is simply "my husband." No one else is my husband, so he gets the honors. Now the former husband, well, I call him "your father" to the three sons I had with him. I call him by his given name to most everyone else. And I call him "my ex" or "the ex" or "the man I used to be married to" when it's necessary to acknowledge that prior relationship. Very occasionally I will say, "My first husband..." or "oh, him." In conversations with my spouse, I call him by his given name or, not infrequently, a derogatory nickname. You'll find your own pet ways of referring to the man formerly known as "my husband."

Jun 11th, 2008, 10:13 AM	#4
~Fabulousity~ ...is rebooting	I'm not yet divorced but his name right now is "the idiot" sorry I know you're looking for real advice I just couldnt help myself __________________ Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit - Napoleon Hill

Jun 11th, 2008, 10:14 PM	#9
halle_nicole Member	Just call him your husband.

Jun 11th, 2008, 11:35 PM	#10
csamcharlie Member	I'd say just call him your husband. But then again, I still call my ex-husband "my husband" sometimes. Thank goodness my BF isn't around when that slips out.

Jun 12th, 2008, 11:35 AM	#13
muggles Bbag-aholic Location: Down the rabbit hole!!	Read through this! It kinda makes you dizzy!I have 2 ex's and 1 current, never say never, #4 could happen someday!! __________________ muggles wish list Bbags and Bbag coin bags, lots and lots!

Jun 12th, 2008, 12:48 PM	#14
cosmogrl5 Member	I definitely agree with those who said just to refer to your current husband as "your husband" and your ex as "your ex-husband." __________________