PITA friends..

Kiss Me Deadly · Oct 6th, 2008, 02:56 PM

Hi all,

I was wondering how you tolerated your friends that arent really your friends.. I became close with this girl in school (we were closer last semester and now we're drifting because shes found this guy.. thats fine I have a BF too) and now its obvious we get on each others nerves, but we brush it aside and move on.. but everytime im SUPER nice to her, offer to get her food, help her with assignments, study etc, shes sooo mean and shady.. I dont even understand and I know her and the BF talk about me, which makes it worse..

Its gotten to the point where I cant wait until school ends when I dont have to see her again because she drives me sooo madddd and puts my good mood into such a sour one.

Do you guys have friends that you "pretend" to like? If so, how does it not make you wanna knock them out sometimes.. to me, toxic friends should just be dropped, but I have to ride it out for 7 more months, haha

Breathe in.. breathe outttt

moi et mes sacs · Oct 6th, 2008, 03:32 PM

I know how you feel as I have been there many times. I am older and more experienced now and guess what...I dont have time for people like this any more. It doesnt cost anything to be nice and some people find it difficult. I dont give people like this too much attention now and funnily enough they become very nice after that.

Kiss Me Deadly · Oct 6th, 2008, 03:36 PM

I totally agree^^... this girl was def a lesson learned and I will learn to not get so close to people.. I know that sounds bad but I just hate to be taken advantage of...

My BF says that at least I gave the friendship a shot, she coulda turned out to be a best friend for life.. but you just gotta keep trying people out.. but now im so hesistant..

moi et mes sacs · Oct 6th, 2008, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiss Me Deadly

I totally agree^^... this girl was def a lesson learned and I will learn to not get so close to people.. I know that sounds bad but I just hate to be taken advantage of...

My BF says that at least I gave the friendship a shot, she coulda turned out to be a best friend for life.. but you just gotta keep trying people out.. but now im so hesistant..

Do keep making friends but people can be so funny blowing hot and cold. I hate this as it makes me go home and wonder if I said or did something wrong and it upsets me. It is usually just because they are moody and I have no time for them.

Fashionista_Gal · Oct 6th, 2008, 03:39 PM

I have had friends like that before too. Like Moi said though, I don't have time for people that anymore. I would just try and start to distance yourself from this person. Just be less available to help her with things. It sounds like she may just be using you since you are always willing to help her out. Friendship should not be so one-sided. If she is mean and ungrateful, I wouldn't be so nice to her anymore.

Kiss Me Deadly · Oct 6th, 2008, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moi et mes sacs

Do keep making friends but people can be so funny blowing hot and cold. I hate this as it makes me go home and wonder if I said or did something wrong and it upsets me. It is usually just because they are moody and I have no time for them.

Yup, thats exactly how it is... I always go home and wonder what I said or did etc.. I cant keep up with people's moodiness sometimes.. AND the fact that I know they talk about me behind my back makes it worse..

Im gonna start distancing and then by May it will be over.. just ease into the "break up" lol

Kiss Me Deadly · Oct 6th, 2008, 03:49 PM

PS- thanks for the advice ALL, Ive really been stressing about this as people's friendships are valuable to me and ive been kinda down worrying what ive been doing wrong..

moi et mes sacs · Oct 6th, 2008, 03:53 PM

No seriously dont waste time on them. That energy could be used on people who deserve it. BTW, a lot of the time this behaviour is jealousy. It could be your bag or hair or anything.

QueenOfDa702 · Oct 6th, 2008, 04:37 PM

Id rather be alone than just barely tolerate people. Actually, I kinda take that back...I have a "friend" right now that I cant stand, but I am her sons God Mother, so I do it for the kid!

yvalenz · Oct 6th, 2008, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moi et mes sacs

I know how you feel as I have been there many times. I am older and more experienced now and guess what...I dont have time for people like this any more. It doesnt cost anything to be nice and some people find it difficult. I dont give people like this too much attention now and funnily enough they become very nice after that.

Absolutely. I could care less if the "friend" was someone I just met, or a childhood/lifelong friend. IMO, MY life is too short and too precious to be burdened by people that are rude, selfish, uncaring, and just plain toxic.

Save yourself the frustration and walk away. There is no "rule" that you have to tolerate people just to be nice. She's not.

redney · Oct 6th, 2008, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvalenz

Absolutely. I could care less if the "friend" was someone I just met, or a childhood/lifelong friend. IMO, MY life is too short and too precious to be burdened by people that are rude, selfish, uncaring, and just plain toxic.

Save yourself the frustration and walk away. There is no "rule" that you have to tolerate people just to be nice. She's not.

Excellent post and ITA.

jng2b · Oct 6th, 2008, 04:45 PM

I do not tolerate people like this for a second! It is not worth it - life is too short. Cut them out! No loss.

ILuvShopping · Oct 6th, 2008, 05:03 PM

you should probably just gradually start to phase her out of your life. is there any reason you are keeping her as a friend?? if i were you i would just make her more of an aquaintance... someone that you can talk to in class... maybe sit by... but other than that... there seems to be no reason for you guys to make plans or hang out or anything.

Kiss Me Deadly · Oct 7th, 2008, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILuvShopping

you should probably just gradually start to phase her out of your life. is there any reason you are keeping her as a friend?? if i were you i would just make her more of an aquaintance... someone that you can talk to in class... maybe sit by... but other than that... there seems to be no reason for you guys to make plans or hang out or anything.

yeah thats what im doing, we sit together in class and occasionally go out to bars, but then we're drinking and its all good.. the problem is we have EVERY class together since we're in the same program, but as you can see from my countdown, the months are slowly ticking down...

Kiss Me Deadly · Oct 7th, 2008, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jng2b

I do not tolerate people like this for a second! It is not worth it - life is too short. Cut them out! No loss.

ohh I plan to, I already have a " gradually cut communication" plan in my agenda.. haha

Oct 6th, 2008, 02:56 PM	#1
Kiss Me Deadly Woosaaa Location: New York!!	PITA friends.. Hi all, I was wondering how you tolerated your friends that arent really your friends.. I became close with this girl in school (we were closer last semester and now we're drifting because shes found this guy.. thats fine I have a BF too) and now its obvious we get on each others nerves, but we brush it aside and move on.. but everytime im SUPER nice to her, offer to get her food, help her with assignments, study etc, shes sooo mean and shady.. I dont even understand and I know her and the BF talk about me, which makes it worse.. Its gotten to the point where I cant wait until school ends when I dont have to see her again because she drives me sooo madddd and puts my good mood into such a sour one. Do you guys have friends that you "pretend" to like? If so, how does it not make you wanna knock them out sometimes.. to me, toxic friends should just be dropped, but I have to ride it out for 7 more months, haha Breathe in.. breathe outttt __________________

Oct 6th, 2008, 03:32 PM	#2
moi et mes sacs Science Geek!	I know how you feel as I have been there many times. I am older and more experienced now and guess what...I dont have time for people like this any more. It doesnt cost anything to be nice and some people find it difficult. I dont give people like this too much attention now and funnily enough they become very nice after that. __________________ If you never change your mind, why have one? Edward de Bono

Oct 6th, 2008, 03:36 PM	#3
Kiss Me Deadly Woosaaa Location: New York!!	I totally agree^^... this girl was def a lesson learned and I will learn to not get so close to people.. I know that sounds bad but I just hate to be taken advantage of... My BF says that at least I gave the friendship a shot, she coulda turned out to be a best friend for life.. but you just gotta keep trying people out.. but now im so hesistant.. __________________

Oct 6th, 2008, 03:49 PM	#7
Kiss Me Deadly Woosaaa Location: New York!!	PS- thanks for the advice ALL, Ive really been stressing about this as people's friendships are valuable to me and ive been kinda down worrying what ive been doing wrong.. __________________

Oct 6th, 2008, 03:53 PM	#8
moi et mes sacs Science Geek!	No seriously dont waste time on them. That energy could be used on people who deserve it. BTW, a lot of the time this behaviour is jealousy. It could be your bag or hair or anything. __________________ If you never change your mind, why have one? Edward de Bono

Oct 6th, 2008, 03:39 PM	#5
Fashionista_Gal Member Location: FL	I have had friends like that before too. Like Moi said though, I don't have time for people that anymore. I would just try and start to distance yourself from this person. Just be less available to help her with things. It sounds like she may just be using you since you are always willing to help her out. Friendship should not be so one-sided. If she is mean and ungrateful, I wouldn't be so nice to her anymore.

Oct 6th, 2008, 04:37 PM	#9
QueenOfDa702 Misunderestimated. Location: I've gone RAOKing crazy!	Id rather be alone than just barely tolerate people. Actually, I kinda take that back...I have a "friend" right now that I cant stand, but I am her sons God Mother, so I do it for the kid! __________________ ~Valeen~ Happy Holidays to all my tPF friends! Click HERE to visit MySpace Please help get justice for Karley! http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...ey-385571.html

Oct 6th, 2008, 04:45 PM	#12
jng2b Member	I do not tolerate people like this for a second! It is not worth it - life is too short. Cut them out! No loss.

Oct 6th, 2008, 05:03 PM	#13
ILuvShopping Shop-a-holic Location: Iowa	you should probably just gradually start to phase her out of your life. is there any reason you are keeping her as a friend?? if i were you i would just make her more of an aquaintance... someone that you can talk to in class... maybe sit by... but other than that... there seems to be no reason for you guys to make plans or hang out or anything.