[RoseMary]

Diplomat, now with own kids, gives up adopted girl

9th December 2007, 16:45 WST

A senior European diplomat working in Hong Kong has promoted outrage by giving up the seven-year-old Korean girl he adopted with his wife as a baby.
The unnamed diplomat handed the girl over to social workers in Hong Kong saying the adoption had not worked out, the Sunday Morning Post reported today.
The man and his wife adopted the girl as a four-month-old baby in Korea, where he was working at the time, when they thought they could not have children of their own.
The diplomat's wife has since had two children and decided to hand the girl over to social workers in Hong Kong because the diplomat said the adoption had "gone wrong," the newspaper reported.
Social workers and the Korean community in Hong Kong are now trying to find a new home for the girl, who is in the care of an expatriate foster family in the former British colony.
The girl, who speaks English and Cantonese but not Korean, is neither a citizen of her adoptive parents' home country nor a Hong Kong resident so her future in the territory is uncertain.
The diplomat told the newspaper his family was struggling to cope with their decision and said his wife was undergoing therapy after giving her adopted Korean daughter away last year.
"It's just a very terrible trauma that everyone's experiencing," he was quoted as saying. "It is something we have to deal with.
"My Foreign Ministry knows about my situation. I have also been in touch with the Hong Kong government and they have been very helpful to me and so has my own employer."
The plight of the girl, described by the newspaper as healthy and happy, has sparked anger and bewilderment among members of the Korean community in Hong Kong who have flooded the country's consulate with offers of help.
A Korean magazine has carried appeals for Hong Kong-based Koreans to adopt the girl, explaining that her adoptive mother "has since had her own two children so they gave her up for adoption".
Under Korean law, adopted children cannot be returned by their adoptive parents but no such law exists in Hong Kong.

HONG KONG

Source: http://www.thewest.com.au/default.aspx?MenuID=29&ContentID=50253



what's wrong with people?

[Louis_gal]

Did they even stop to think about the ramifications this might cause for the child? So now that they have 2 children of their own means that they can't also keep her as well when she was obviously the first one to "arrive" in their family. I just don't understand how they can even give her up for adoption after having her for 7 yrs....was there no love involved?......how can it "not work" after 7 yrs?.....did it take that long for them to figure it out? Is it because she now doesn't fit into their European family? What a crock of bulls@#t! For whatever reason they feel they needed to send her back, maybe it was a good thing, so she can find a family who loves her for who she is.

[Pursegrrl]

God, just when you think you've heard it all. Un effin' believable. How cruel and heartless!!!

[sweetlove]

Omg, I have no words for this! These people obviously have some really screwed up priorities and attitudes, and it's scary that a person like that conducts representation on a high level for his country. Also, I think his government should look into the well-being of his other children - if he's capable of giving one away (!!), then who know what else he'll do.

[fiatflux]

There *has* to be more to this story...I just can't even fathom parents being able to do this to their child.

[Jill]

This is sickening...That poor child

[jillybean307]

Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon. I'm really interested in adoption, and sat in on a few CLE adoption classes, and there are families that put children back in the system. This is especially common with children that have some sort of hidden or mild disability (like FAS in Russian babies). The "parents" want a perfect child, and if the child isn't, some put them into the American adoption system.

It's completely sicken. People like that should first be blacklisted from ever adopting again and then sterilized. I cannot imagine giving up my dog to the ASPCA, I can't fathom doing something like this to a human.

[PinkSuadeSoho]

Originally Posted by fiatflux

There *has* to be more to this story...I just can't even fathom parents being able to do this to their child.

In no way, shape, or form do I agree with what they did. I also want to think there has to be more going on than what we read.

[Archipelago]

What an awful person! What's with all the crap about his wife going to therapy? He's more focused on themselves than the girl that he gave up. This man does not deserve to have any children. Who knows what he'll do if he finds out something he doesn't like about his children later on.

[aaallabama]

Originally Posted by jillybean307

Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon. I'm really interested in adoption, and sat in on a few CLE adoption classes, and there are families that put children back in the system. This is especially common with children that have some sort of hidden or mild disability (like FAS in Russian babies). The "parents" want a perfect child, and if the child isn't, some put them into the American adoption system.

It's completely sicken. People like that should first be blacklisted from ever adopting again and then sterilized. I cannot imagine giving up my dog to the ASPCA, I can't fathom doing something like this to a human.

^^ ITA, well said jillybean

[SPOILEDkiwi]

I agree with the other posters who said that there has to be more to this story. Nothing is ever black and white. I don't know what possible reasons there could be for an adoption "not working out" as he stated, but I do think we don't know the whole story.

[fiatflux]

Here's a little more info..still not very informative, but the first hint I've seen of a possible psychological disorder:

http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archive..._row_answe.php

Diplomat in adoption row answers criticism

Thursday 13 December 2007

The Dutch diplomatic couple at the centre of a storm over the alleged dumping of their seven-year-old South Korean adopted daughter have made a statement which is published in today’s Telegraaf.

Illustrated by a photograph of the couple in evening dress, the paper says Raymond and Meta Poeteray were told to make a statement by the foreign affairs ministry.

In this statement, they tell the paper that they have not formally given up daughter Jade, as reported in the press, and continue to take full responsibility for the girl.

As soon as she joined the family as a baby, it was 'very hard to make contact with her', the consul writes. And in 2004, she was diagnosed as having an extreme fear of forming relationships.

Intensive family therapy failed to work and the rest of the family began to suffer, the consul says.

In 2006, specialists in Hong Kong said that it was in Jade's best interests if she was removed from the family. 'That was an extremely painful moment for us, but we did not have another choice,' Poeteray writes.

[PinkSuadeSoho]

Originally Posted by fiatflux

Here's a little more info..still not very informative, but the first hint I've seen of a possible psychological disorder:

http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archive..._row_answe.php

Diplomat in adoption row answers criticism

Thursday 13 December 2007

The Dutch diplomatic couple at the centre of a storm over the alleged dumping of their seven-year-old South Korean adopted daughter have made a statement which is published in today’s Telegraaf.

Illustrated by a photograph of the couple in evening dress, the paper says Raymond and Meta Poeteray were told to make a statement by the foreign affairs ministry.

In this statement, they tell the paper that they have not formally given up daughter Jade, as reported in the press, and continue to take full responsibility for the girl.

As soon as she joined the family as a baby, it was 'very hard to make contact with her', the consul writes. And in 2004, she was diagnosed as having an extreme fear of forming relationships.

Intensive family therapy failed to work and the rest of the family began to suffer, the consul says.

In 2006, specialists in Hong Kong said that it was in Jade's best interests if she was removed from the family. 'That was an extremely painful moment for us, but we did not have another choice,' Poeteray writes.

Thanks for posting the above.

[SPOILEDkiwi]

Originally Posted by fiatflux

In 2006, specialists in Hong Kong said that it was in Jade's best interests if she was removed from the family. 'That was an extremely painful moment for us, but we did not have another choice,' Poeteray writes.

Well that certainly changes things.

[Megs]

So she may have had problems with relationships... and after 7 years, they give her up??? That will help her a ton in life.

It is sick to me, absolutely sick.