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merika · Sep 20th, 2009, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by ShelleyBaby

Yes and to be fair, I did the same. I never ment anything I said though, I was just so heartbroken and with this being my first proper relationship, I didn't know how to deal with it.

I'm suprised people remember these things, there's so much goes on in this forum.

I'd like to take credit for having a memory like an elephant, but I don't really. It's just that some situations are so disturbing that you still remember them much, much later...and yours was one of those.

ShelleyBaby · Sep 21st, 2009, 04:54 PM

I'm now on the verge of dumping him on his ass. I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him in all honesty, even though I'm extremely insecure. I'm the only person that's ever been loyal to him, all I ask is that he shows me some affection when we're not together, just a simple "I love you" or "I miss you, can't wait to see you". Even just a "How are you today?" but because he's so laid back now (when it suits him more like), he doesn't think of these things.

Immi · Sep 21st, 2009, 05:10 PM

You're totally right you know. I hope you DO dump him on his ass. You deserve those messages and much much much more to be honest. So what if you're insecure, we all are to some extent, doesn't mean you don't deserve to be treated well.

I hope you dump him so you can look forward to meeting a better fella :) honestly you have no idea how good some guys will treat their woman. It's much better to be single than with someone like this.

karmenzsofia · Sep 21st, 2009, 05:15 PM

I'm not saying he's a saint kuz I don't know the guy and never read the other thread. But regardless of this guy, no matter whom you're with, this degree of neediness and insecurity tends to annihilate relationships.

juneping · Sep 21st, 2009, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by karmenzsofia

I'm not saying he's a saint kuz I don't know the guy and never read the other thread. But regardless of this guy, no matter whom you're with, this degree of neediness and insecurity tends to annihilate relationships.

when emotional healthy women don't have the reassurance they need in a r/s..they get all clingy and needy. in OP's case....the bf just seem not care enough...and which made OP even more insecure.
my shrink told me that when i see her a couple of months ago.

dallas · Sep 21st, 2009, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by juneping

when emotional healthy women don't have the reassurance they need in a r/s..they get all clingy and needy. in OP's case....the bf just seem not care enough...and which made OP even more insecure.
my shrink told me that when i see her a couple of months ago.

I could be wrong, but I think the opposite is true. Women who are emotionally healthy don't need reassurance.

juneping · Sep 21st, 2009, 08:08 PM

^^Women who are emotionally healthy don't need reassurance. - right if the bf is treating her right. do i make sense??

dallas · Sep 21st, 2009, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by juneping

^^Women who are emotionally healthy don't need reassurance. - right if the bf is treating her right. do i make sense??

But would an emotionally healthy gal be with a person who would treat her poorly? ...

juneping · Sep 21st, 2009, 08:18 PM

^^u r right.

plain jane doe · Sep 22nd, 2009, 12:37 AM

Originally Posted by ShelleyBaby

I'm suprised people remember these things, there's so much goes on in this forum.

OP, I'll be blunt. You seem none too thrilled that some of us remember or refer back to your previous threads, you are defending your boyfriend's past behavior and seem to be trying to take back what you wrote before. I'm sorry for your situation and your bad experiences, and I understand that it's difficult to let go of this guy. But you have gotten all the good advice you can get on tPF already, and while you can always come here for more support, I don't think you are ever going to get the responses you want to hear. We are not the ones who can provide you with reassurance and security in your relationship.

I do wish you the best, but I really think the best thing for you is to move on from the toxic bf.

ShelleyBaby · Sep 22nd, 2009, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by plain jane doe

OP, I'll be blunt. You seem none too thrilled that some of us remember or refer back to your previous threads, you are defending your boyfriend's past behavior and seem to be trying to take back what you wrote before. I'm sorry for your situation and your bad experiences, and I understand that it's difficult to let go of this guy. But you have gotten all the good advice you can get on tPF already, and while you can always come here for more support, I don't think you are ever going to get the responses you want to hear. We are not the ones who can provide you with reassurance and security in your relationship.

I do wish you the best, but I really think the best thing for you is to move on from the toxic bf.

I'm sorry, but you couldn't be more wrong. I have no issue with people remembering my old posts or refering back to give a helpful reply. :|

I was merely saying I was suprised people remember.

coach4me · Sep 22nd, 2009, 10:39 AM

shelley, please re-read your old thread.... then stay strong and stay away from him.

I just want to give up now.

plain jane doe · Sep 22nd, 2009, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by ShelleyBaby

I'm sorry, but you couldn't be more wrong. I have no issue with people remembering my old posts or refering back to give a helpful reply. :|

I was merely saying I was suprised people remember.

Sorry if I misread you or did not word my post well. I did not mean that you were in any way angry or defensive toward posters, just that it didn't seem to be what you wanted to hear (negative things about the guy).

meganfm · Sep 22nd, 2009, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by ShelleyBaby

Thank you and thanks to everyone else. I guess I think I'm not worth the effort because sometimes the distance he has to travel seems like an effort for him. In honesty though, he's only been like that because of my recent crazy spells, before that he seemed fine about travelling to see me.

You ARE worth the effort! After reading what other people have mentioned (I didn't read the original threads) this guy is the one who is DEFINITELY not worth the effort. I know it's scary sometimes being single again, but you can do so much better than this guy! But if you continue to think that you aren't worth it, you're not going to attract guys who treat you like you aren't.

ShelleyBaby · Sep 23rd, 2009, 12:19 PM

Well he's just ended things with me again because he thinks I'm trying to can't understand cause problems between him and his female best friend. Me and her were actually getting on very well so I can't understand why he thinks this at all. I have no problems with her and didn't see her as a threat in any way, shape or form.

Being heartbroken by the same guy twice, how pathetic lol.

Sep 21st, 2009, 05:10 PM	#33
Immi <3s life Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 271	You're totally right you know. I hope you DO dump him on his ass. You deserve those messages and much much much more to be honest. So what if you're insecure, we all are to some extent, doesn't mean you don't deserve to be treated well. I hope you dump him so you can look forward to meeting a better fella :) honestly you have no idea how good some guys will treat their woman. It's much better to be single than with someone like this.
Immi <3s life Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 271	__________________ The best things in life are free. Apart from OPI, cars, and chocolate brazil nuts...

Sep 21st, 2009, 05:15 PM	#34
karmenzsofia Life is Plan Z Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Tarot Card Posts: 14,891	I'm not saying he's a saint kuz I don't know the guy and never read the other thread. But regardless of this guy, no matter whom you're with, this degree of neediness and insecurity tends to annihilate relationships.
	__________________ Satisfied but wishing 4 a WTM Mini and an AP ~~* Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Or, more importantly, is it funny?

Sep 21st, 2009, 08:08 PM	#37
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	^^Women who are emotionally healthy don't need reassurance. - right if the bf is treating her right. do i make sense??
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Sep 21st, 2009, 08:18 PM	#39
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	^^u r right.
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Sep 22nd, 2009, 10:39 AM	#42
coach4me Princess!! Joined: Jan 2007 Location: due to the economic downturn, shopping for make-up, not bags Posts: 1,619	shelley, please re-read your old thread.... then stay strong and stay away from him. I just want to give up now.
	__________________ come meet me! visit my blog at www.messagesfromtheedgeofsanity.com currently content but always open to something new.....

Sep 21st, 2009, 04:54 PM	#32
ShelleyBaby OP Member Joined: Jul 2008 Location: UK Posts: 1,241	I'm now on the verge of dumping him on his ass. I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him in all honesty, even though I'm extremely insecure. I'm the only person that's ever been loyal to him, all I ask is that he shows me some affection when we're not together, just a simple "I love you" or "I miss you, can't wait to see you". Even just a "How are you today?" but because he's so laid back now (when it suits him more like), he doesn't think of these things.

Sep 23rd, 2009, 12:19 PM	#45
ShelleyBaby OP Member Joined: Jul 2008 Location: UK Posts: 1,241	Well he's just ended things with me again because he thinks I'm trying to can't understand cause problems between him and his female best friend. Me and her were actually getting on very well so I can't understand why he thinks this at all. I have no problems with her and didn't see her as a threat in any way, shape or form. Being heartbroken by the same guy twice, how pathetic lol.

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