[kellyLV]

I just got out of an abusive relationship.VERBALLY, EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY(once got physical) I know I did the best for myself. I just feel waves of anger, guilt, fear and loneliness and I appreciate your kind words if you have any..TIA

Hope you guys don’t mind I just wanted to share some things I remember during our time together so you guys have an idea of the kind of relationship we had …

I’ve been with a guy who has a very uncontrollable temper. He gets mad easily with the most immature reasons and sometimes no reason at all.
When he gets mad, he calls me names, curses me, yells at me etc etc.
He shouts at me in public, humiliates me in front of people.

another....
There was a time I had hard time breathing after a huge fight. We were on the phone I was crying and telling me how I feel, he said he wish I just die and if we were together he’d be the one to kill me with all my drama. (threatening yeah) He wish that when I fall asleep I wouldn’t wake up. Or if I’ll drive he wished for me to have an accident and die.
Nice huh? What an angel? Hahha

Next, there was a time he grabbed my face and tried to feed me my own car keys because he got jealous of the new LV bag that mom gave me. He was saying I will not be able to use the one he gave me. He turned so freaky that I was about to call the police but he just ran away leaving me at the mall's basement parking.( I thank my friends who came to rescue a shocked-can’t-drive nor speak poor girl afterwards)

He shows up and forcedly took me few times home (feeling like been kidnapped) when I’m having good times with friends and as usual yells, scares me inside the car by driving really fast and saying bad things.

He breaks my heart over and over again. He breaks up with me over and over again whenever he gets depressed or stressed with work (or may be has his own reasons that I couldn’t understand what) but after few days, weeks, cries and begs for another chance. Yeah I know mind games…It happened numerous times. I kept taking him back. Hopeful that he’d change and realize my love for him and will love me back more than what I’m showing him but it never happened. (oopss I broke up with him many times too, whenever I feel hurt, feel tired but never really ended there)

After those rough months, I tried to be strong and showed him that it was enough, He showed up in my doorsteps begging, spending hours waiting outside the house. He did everything, and last December he planned on proposing to me. He got the ring and all. He promised to change for better and will really show me that he deserves a chance and that he loves me more than anything. He asked for a year to prepare for the wedding (financially) and of course promised that he’d cure all that is needed to within himself, I accepted the ring. I kept it for a week and I don’t know if it was a sign but the ring lost few diamonds and had to return it to him for repair. After that we had huge fights again and the rings was never returned to me.. The same thing happened I heard the most painful words that he was so wrong about planning his future with me, that he suddenly felt no feelings for me..ETC ETC.
Last valentine’s day he greeted me, all of a sudden he became nice to me again. But enough is enough. I felt the worst feeling ever with him. I felt my ugliest and I don’t want it ever again.

I do feel lonely sometimes when I miss him. Hope I’d be totally fine soon. It’s been a month now. I’m proud of it that I survived thanks for your time reading this.

i've been in this relationship for 3 years. these were just few things i remember about this bad relationship.I'm fully awake that i could be a future battered wife. Which i know no one ever dreamed of.




oh by the way, the latest news ( from a common friend) is that my ex is now searching for a new girl to give the ring to and he found one, he's now hanging out with some girl from the gym and plans to give it to her...so fast sounds so desperate huh?? that cheapo!! he couldn't get a new one??shame on him..haha

[helium]

My God, I am so glad there is a woman here with her head on! I mean, enough is enough, like you said, and i'm so glad you never took him back.

I am really, really proud of you!

[rubylola]

Good for you, keep strong- this guy was no good, and no man to treat you like this. You deserve a million times better

[devoted]

You will be fine, and the loneliness will eventually go away. I am so proud of you for ending things.

[nsynchic20]

Good for you!!! I'm proud that you had the courage to end it!

[kellyLV]

thank you. it's not easy. i'm still in the process of healing. I just realized that my family treated me as a princess while this ugly man treats me like crap. Life is too short and i don't want it to waste by being hurt and crying for the rest of my days. Now i'm hoping and praying for a man that will take me and love me sincerely.

[moi et mes sacs]

First of all I am so sorry you had to go through all this. You are a very strong person and you came out the other side. This person you were with has an emotional and anger problem and none of it is your fault. You may have loved him but for him you were a victim and a recipient of his anger. If you had not got yourself out of this it would have been the same cycle of anger followed by remorse for ever.
You need time for yourself now to spend with whoever you like, people who make you laugh and feel good. You could not have helped this man, he needs more professional help and advice and it is his job to seek it.
Please dont feel bad, I know its hard, but you were not good for each other. I hope you feel really good soon, dont feel lonely, call your friends and enjoy..

[soundjade]

i can SO relate to your post!!! YOU'RE NOT ALONE... anyway I would write more but there's just too much to say. I'm glad he's out of your life!

[kellyLV]

awww...thanks for your fast replies.. i appreciate it making me proud of my decision more.

oh by the way, the latest news ( from a common friend) is that my ex is now searching for a new girl to give the ring to and he found one, he's now hanging out with some girl from the gym and plans to give it to her...so fast sounds so desperate huh?? that cheapo!! he couldn't get a new one??shame on him..haha

[moi et mes sacs]

Originally Posted by kellyLV

awww...thanks for your fast replies.. i appreciate it making me proud of my decision more.

oh by the way, the latest news ( from a common friend) is that my ex is now searching for a new girl to give the ring to and he found one, he's now hanging out with some girl from the gym and plans to give it to her...so fast sounds so desperate huh?? that cheapo!! he couldn't get a new one??shame on him..haha

Awful. Go get yourself a ring from Tiffanys, it will look beautiful on you.

[illinirdhd]

I'm proud of you too.

This won't be an easy time - it may take you a long time to feel like yourself again. But you LOST a lot of yourself while you were with this jerk. Try to remember who you were before, take some advice from the many smart women on tPF, and be proud of yourself! Many women aren't strong enough to get out alive.

Remember that the hard lessons are often the best ones!

[missyanne]

I'm so glad you got our of the relationship and didn't give him another chance. My last ex-bf also had a bad temper and jealousy issues... my experience wasn't as crazy as yours but it was enough for me to get rid of him. He would yell at me in public, got mad at me when I wasn't all over him in public, got mad when I hung out with my cousin, got mad at me for going to the gym instead of picking him up from work (wtf???), got mad at me for talking to my co-workers outside of work and most here's the craziest part- he was jealous of my dog because I "take care of her and love her more than him" - what a loser.

[oo0ehxtahcee0oo]

you go girl!!! your story reminded me of my ex... WE did the right thing and ALL US ladies deserve nothing but the very BEST!! WHOOO HOOOO!! Congrats!!

[tadpolenyc]

i really admire you. your story is heartbreaking, but there's a happy ending! i'm so glad that you were able to pull yourself away from that toxic situation. you sound content, wiser and stronger now. hopefully, other women here who are currently in the same situation as you were become inspired to leave their abusive relationships too.

[cosmogrl5]

I am SO proud of you for leaving. I was in a relationship almost exactly like that one for 6 years. No one could understand why I stayed, and to be honest, I didn't always know why myself. As awful as our relationship was, it was comfortable...if that makes sense. I finally got up the courage to leave 2 years ago. I physically had to move to another state because I knew that if I didn't I would give into his begging and take him back. It has been almost 2 years, and I do still miss him at times. Lord only knows why I do. Please please please stay strong and know that you deserve so much better. Let him be some other girl's problem. If you ever need to talk, PM me any time. Hugs to you.

Oh and I should add, leaving him was the very best thing I ever did in my life...even if it was also the hardest.