Other people's kids

Roo · Dec 21st, 2007, 06:08 PM

Here's another holiday "dilemma" for you all to ponder...

How do you handle other people's kids... not just kids, but other people's PSYCHO kids?

For example: We love Mr Roo's best friend like family. We really do. He has two children- one who is really great and one of which is truly evil- she is about 10 yrs old. We have to watch her like a hawk any time he brings her over. Once she tried to throw my 6 lb dog off our third story balcony of the condo where we used to live, and another time she kicked our dog REALLY HARD (she claims accidentally but I know better) and our dog was shreiking in pain. (I am not joking)

I can deal with this kid in limited doses when it's just HER, because I watch her constantly.. the men do not which is another story.

Mr Roo's friend's wife is not a nice person and so we don't often see her anyway... just him and the kids... (That's another story too)

Anyway- I LOVE little kids but this little girl is only getting worse as she gets older. I think she has some serious psychological issues that are not being addressed. We are having a holiday party tomorrow and we did not invite this friend. Others will be here with their kids (who are behaved) and we don't want her here because with a crowd of people she will be much harder to watch closely... and I don't trust her with my dog or other people's unsuspecting children. We can't tell this friend this is a "kid free" event because it really isn't.

How do you handle these situations with other people's kids? I don't feel like we can tell this person, "sorry, we love you but your child is unstable so you can come but she can't?"

devoted · Dec 21st, 2007, 06:17 PM

congratulations for not torturing that demon after she almost tried to kill your dog.

Since you can't say anything to the parent, just keep your dog in a safe place and warn the other people attending so they'll keep on eye on their kids.

Maybe put up flyers in your home with the girl's picture under the heading "BEWARE". LOL

Roo · Dec 21st, 2007, 06:24 PM

^^

Trust me, I told my husband after that incident with the dog that she is not to be in our house EVER AGAIN.

We didn't invite him and it bums me out, but here's the deal... the latest we heard on this child is that she is now banned from their neighbor's house. Why? Because apparently she told their 5 year old son to pull down his pants so she could have sex with him.

Mr Roo's friend told us about this and said he felt the parents "overreacted". This child is also having problems at school. The mother is in total denial and he's not facing facts either... so its an issue.

I won't have that even as a possibility under my roof and if I am entertaining 30 people, I can't watch her every move. When you move into THAT realm, its about LIABILITY... and we can't have some type of molestation incident on our watch and then get sued ... no thanks.

dusty paws · Dec 21st, 2007, 06:28 PM

^ omg, I seriously think that child needs to seek professional help from someone - and soon.

That's absolutely frightening, and I don't blame you at all.

You could always throw a no kids invited party.. but that may not go over so well. or can do an adults only dinner out with your friend - that way he is forced to not bring satan jr?

devoted · Dec 21st, 2007, 06:33 PM

oops, sorry, I missed the part that said he wasn't invited.

LissiSays · Dec 21st, 2007, 06:41 PM

Wow... what a difficult situation. (Nice joke about the "BEWARE" poster.)

It sucks that you can't have your friend over because his child is a spawn of Satan. What is your husbands opinion on this situation?

You are obviously NOT overreacting if this child has been banned from other homes and is having trouble at school. Does this friend know what his daughter has done to the dog? And if so, did he even remotely call her attention to it? I understand if people don't want to discipline another persons child. But different homes have different rules. If a child, any child, crossed the line in my house then I would call their attention to it. If the parent has an issue with it then you tell them to discipline their child according to the rules of your home, if they want to continue to be a guest there. You can't let fear allow a child to wreak havoc in your home!

Roo · Dec 21st, 2007, 06:43 PM

^^

The friend is aware, but makes excuses when we've told him. He's in denial but I think the recent issues at school are somewhat of a wakeup call. His wife, however is a different story.. won't go there.

The other thing about this child that is unnerving to me is her EYES. When you look at her and talk to her, they are flat. I can't explain it, but there is a vacancy there that is creepy.

Speedy · Dec 21st, 2007, 06:57 PM

I hate people who can't see their children are little brats. But this girl-child you speak of is even worse than your normal run-of-the-mill brat, talking about having sex at the age of ten? Something aint right with that, it's one of the signs of sexual abuse. In fact, torturing an animal (kicking your dog hard, threatening or almost throwing it off a third floor balcony) is also a sign of sexual abuse.

She needs profesional help and now.

The only kids Im ever really around is the few kids that my husband works with their parents... and then it's what... 3-5 kids. Youngest is 3, she's adorable and well behaved. The next two, brother and a sister (4 and 7)... the sister is a brat, BUT she does respect adults when they tell her something... as long as it's not her parents. The other two, a brother and sister (10 and 13) are SO well behaved I have to double check and make sure they are breathing.

Seriously, I don't blame you for not inviting this person because you are concerned the child would be there too. It's normal, since you already know how they handled a rather red flag in their daughter's pysc. Perhaps your SO can talk to his friend. She really does show signs of sexual abuse.

Melissa71 · Dec 21st, 2007, 07:09 PM

How awful! I'm so glad you were able to rescue you poor dog before she was able to kill the poor thing. I hope her parents take her in for some serious counseling, it sounds like she needs it. Those are some serious signs of abuse or a personality disorder. How sad.

la miss · Dec 21st, 2007, 07:40 PM

Whoa she's a handful isn't she. You are absolutely right to "ban" her. No point in courting a lawsuit with her unpredictable behavior. I feel kinda sorry for the little girl though since her parents would rather be in denial than get her some help.

Traci · Dec 21st, 2007, 08:02 PM

Roo, you should do exactly as your doing. Do not invite him and his children over because this will just make it harder. When enough of his friends stop inviting him because of his child who so obviously needs help, then perhaps he will get the picture.

You cannot help him or her while he is in denial. He and his child will hit bottom and then hopefully they will get help.

fiatflux · Dec 21st, 2007, 08:15 PM

What is the issue with the mom? It sounds like that may be the crux of the matter...

Roo · Dec 21st, 2007, 08:20 PM

^^

The mother had a very unstable childhood- lived in foster homes, etc. So her idea of parenting is that the kids run the show... it is a trainwreck that would take too long to write about here. It is debatable that marriage will even survive in the long run... so .... yeah.

fiatflux · Dec 21st, 2007, 08:32 PM

So sad...doesn't sound like the child has had the love and attention that she needed. It's scary what you say about the "vacant eyes" -- I'm not sure what that could mean...

LissiSays · Dec 21st, 2007, 08:38 PM

Is she kind of like the little boy in the recent version of "Omen?"

Dec 21st, 2007, 06:08 PM	#1
Roo Up to the Minute Mod Location: Rue Roo	Other people's kids Here's another holiday "dilemma" for you all to ponder... How do you handle other people's kids... not just kids, but other people's PSYCHO kids? For example: We love Mr Roo's best friend like family. We really do. He has two children- one who is really great and one of which is truly evil- she is about 10 yrs old. We have to watch her like a hawk any time he brings her over. Once she tried to throw my 6 lb dog off our third story balcony of the condo where we used to live, and another time she kicked our dog REALLY HARD (she claims accidentally but I know better) and our dog was shreiking in pain. (I am not joking) I can deal with this kid in limited doses when it's just HER, because I watch her constantly.. the men do not which is another story. Mr Roo's friend's wife is not a nice person and so we don't often see her anyway... just him and the kids... (That's another story too) Anyway- I LOVE little kids but this little girl is only getting worse as she gets older. I think she has some serious psychological issues that are not being addressed. We are having a holiday party tomorrow and we did not invite this friend. Others will be here with their kids (who are behaved) and we don't want her here because with a crowd of people she will be much harder to watch closely... and I don't trust her with my dog or other people's unsuspecting children. We can't tell this friend this is a "kid free" event because it really isn't. How do you handle these situations with other people's kids? I don't feel like we can tell this person, "sorry, we love you but your child is unstable so you can come but she can't?" __________________ " We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile." -- WILL ROGERS

Dec 21st, 2007, 06:17 PM	#2
devoted Member	Re: Other people's kids congratulations for not torturing that demon after she almost tried to kill your dog. Since you can't say anything to the parent, just keep your dog in a safe place and warn the other people attending so they'll keep on eye on their kids. Maybe put up flyers in your home with the girl's picture under the heading "BEWARE". LOL

Dec 21st, 2007, 06:24 PM	#3
Roo Up to the Minute Mod Location: Rue Roo	Re: Other people's kids ^^ Trust me, I told my husband after that incident with the dog that she is not to be in our house EVER AGAIN. We didn't invite him and it bums me out, but here's the deal... the latest we heard on this child is that she is now banned from their neighbor's house. Why? Because apparently she told their 5 year old son to pull down his pants so she could have sex with him. Mr Roo's friend told us about this and said he felt the parents "overreacted". This child is also having problems at school. The mother is in total denial and he's not facing facts either... so its an issue. I won't have that even as a possibility under my roof and if I am entertaining 30 people, I can't watch her every move. When you move into THAT realm, its about LIABILITY... and we can't have some type of molestation incident on our watch and then get sued ... no thanks. __________________ " We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile." -- WILL ROGERS

Dec 21st, 2007, 06:28 PM	#4
dusty paws Vuitton on the brain Location: RAOKville!	Re: Other people's kids ^ omg, I seriously think that child needs to seek professional help from someone - and soon. That's absolutely frightening, and I don't blame you at all. You could always throw a no kids invited party.. but that may not go over so well. or can do an adults only dinner out with your friend - that way he is forced to not bring satan jr? __________________ laura's teeny wishlist: [] mono french purse [] trevi pm [] seleya pm [] mono cles Laura and my babies: http://www.dustypaws.com My blog: http://makeupandpearls.blogspot.com/

Dec 21st, 2007, 06:33 PM	#5
devoted Member	Re: Other people's kids oops, sorry, I missed the part that said he wasn't invited.

Dec 21st, 2007, 06:41 PM	#6
LissiSays I <3 Coach =Þ Location: Miami, Florida	Re: Other people's kids Wow... what a difficult situation. (Nice joke about the "BEWARE" poster.) It sucks that you can't have your friend over because his child is a spawn of Satan. What is your husbands opinion on this situation? You are obviously NOT overreacting if this child has been banned from other homes and is having trouble at school. Does this friend know what his daughter has done to the dog? And if so, did he even remotely call her attention to it? I understand if people don't want to discipline another persons child. But different homes have different rules. If a child, any child, crossed the line in my house then I would call their attention to it. If the parent has an issue with it then you tell them to discipline their child according to the rules of your home, if they want to continue to be a guest there. You can't let fear allow a child to wreak havoc in your home! __________________ *LiSSi* Don't play games with a girl who can play better!

Dec 21st, 2007, 06:43 PM	#7
Roo Up to the Minute Mod Location: Rue Roo	Re: Other people's kids ^^ The friend is aware, but makes excuses when we've told him. He's in denial but I think the recent issues at school are somewhat of a wakeup call. His wife, however is a different story.. won't go there. The other thing about this child that is unnerving to me is her EYES. When you look at her and talk to her, they are flat. I can't explain it, but there is a vacancy there that is creepy. __________________ " We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile." -- WILL ROGERS

Dec 21st, 2007, 06:57 PM	#8
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: Other people's kids I hate people who can't see their children are little brats. But this girl-child you speak of is even worse than your normal run-of-the-mill brat, talking about having sex at the age of ten? Something aint right with that, it's one of the signs of sexual abuse. In fact, torturing an animal (kicking your dog hard, threatening or almost throwing it off a third floor balcony) is also a sign of sexual abuse. She needs profesional help and now. The only kids Im ever really around is the few kids that my husband works with their parents... and then it's what... 3-5 kids. Youngest is 3, she's adorable and well behaved. The next two, brother and a sister (4 and 7)... the sister is a brat, BUT she does respect adults when they tell her something... as long as it's not her parents. The other two, a brother and sister (10 and 13) are SO well behaved I have to double check and make sure they are breathing. Seriously, I don't blame you for not inviting this person because you are concerned the child would be there too. It's normal, since you already know how they handled a rather red flag in their daughter's pysc. Perhaps your SO can talk to his friend. She really does show signs of sexual abuse.

Dec 21st, 2007, 07:09 PM	#9
Melissa71 Member Location: Illinois	Re: Other people's kids How awful! I'm so glad you were able to rescue you poor dog before she was able to kill the poor thing. I hope her parents take her in for some serious counseling, it sounds like she needs it. Those are some serious signs of abuse or a personality disorder. How sad.

Dec 21st, 2007, 07:40 PM	#10
la miss parigote Location: on a mission...	Re: Other people's kids Whoa she's a handful isn't she. You are absolutely right to "ban" her. No point in courting a lawsuit with her unpredictable behavior. I feel kinda sorry for the little girl though since her parents would rather be in denial than get her some help. __________________ The Last of the Famous International Playboys

Dec 21st, 2007, 08:02 PM	#11
Traci MOD - tastic!	Re: Other people's kids Roo, you should do exactly as your doing. Do not invite him and his children over because this will just make it harder. When enough of his friends stop inviting him because of his child who so obviously needs help, then perhaps he will get the picture. You cannot help him or her while he is in denial. He and his child will hit bottom and then hopefully they will get help. __________________ The blog is back! http://www.tra-world.blogspot.com/

Dec 21st, 2007, 08:15 PM	#12
fiatflux Member	Re: Other people's kids What is the issue with the mom? It sounds like that may be the crux of the matter...

Dec 21st, 2007, 08:20 PM	#13
Roo Up to the Minute Mod Location: Rue Roo	Re: Other people's kids ^^ The mother had a very unstable childhood- lived in foster homes, etc. So her idea of parenting is that the kids run the show... it is a trainwreck that would take too long to write about here. It is debatable that marriage will even survive in the long run... so .... yeah. __________________ " We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile." -- WILL ROGERS

Dec 21st, 2007, 08:32 PM	#14
fiatflux Member	Re: Other people's kids So sad...doesn't sound like the child has had the love and attention that she needed. It's scary what you say about the "vacant eyes" -- I'm not sure what that could mean...

Dec 21st, 2007, 08:38 PM	#15
LissiSays I <3 Coach =Þ Location: Miami, Florida	Re: Other people's kids Is she kind of like the little boy in the recent version of "Omen?" __________________ *LiSSi* Don't play games with a girl who can play better!