[kaye]

I'm a strong believer that guys and girls can not be friends without having an attraction to one another. What's your take on this?

In my experience, I've never been able to keep a guy friend as just a friend. LOL. Either I end up crushing on him, or he ends up trying to make a move on me. For this reason, I haven't had a guy friend since high school. I only have girl friends.

I'm glad my SO feels the same way as I do. He doesn't have any girl friends at all. It actually helps make our relationship very strong because we have NEVER had trust issues with one another. We trust each other completely, and we would never cheat on each other, EVER.

So, do you agree or disagree? Have you ever had a problem with your SO's opposite sex friend? Or vice versa? Does your SO disapprove of your relationship with an opposite sex friend?

[Velouria]

I used to be a strong believer in friendship between the two sexes. My best friends since middle school were male (I also had girlfriends, but somehow my more lasting friendship ended up being with guys).
My experiences over the years (I am 27 now) include:
- A best friend distancing from me after 7 years because he had a girlfriend: I am talking about a friend that stopped calling and answering my calls as soon as he hooked up with some girl. Being treated like that after 7 years hurt me badly. I then found out that he could not contact me because his girlfriend was insecure and jealous.
- A best friend of two years confessing he was actually in love with me; I had a boyfriend at the time, so he decided it best not to see me anymore.
- A dear friend made a rude move on me and never called back after I made him notice I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend
- Another friend confessing his undying love for me months into the friendship, and I was already married when he did.
Generally speaking, most of the boys and men that ever got close to me with friendly intent, later confessed a crush or acted on their feelings.

I might have been extremely unlucky, but right now I'd just like to meet a gay man that would be my friend; at least I would know there would be nothing muddy about our feelings for each other.

[wordpast]

I think it can exist. Two of my best friends are guys. One I have been friends with since we were 11. He and my Bf are great friends and I love his GF dearly. The other one I have been friends with for about 8 years. Neither one has ever made a move or professed feelings for me. My BF trusts me and them. We're all great friends and hang out together.

[sarah2808]

I don't think men and women can be just friends. In my 52 years of life I have found that unless the friendship is very casual it will ususally lead to something more. Good friends usually confide in each other and unfotunatley between the sexes once compassion or empathy is introduced the relationship quickly escalates. I know people who swear that is not the case, but I have never seen it.

[merika]

One of my best friends is a guy.

[twinkle.tink]

I have had very good friendships with males through the years. I love sports, watching and playing...so hanginging out and just being 'one of the guys' is an easy roll for me.

[EMMY]

Hmmm..I think great friendships can exist..I have several male friends....I consider them very good friends..they are guys that I work with and we've been in the same environment for over 20 years together...probably close to 25...I am married..and they would not make a move on me..but if I hinted..I bet they would..they are MALE for Pete's sake!! But they do respect me and I know they wouldn't want to lose my friendship..we have fun during the day!!..They know my husband too..which truthfully prob is a major reason they DON'T hit on me...they know DH would prob kill them lol!!! (just kidding..but I know he wouldn't take it lightly..)

[Kimm992]

I have 3-4 really good male friends. None of them have ever tried to hit on me and I have never felt an attraction to any of them.

One of them is married (my DF and I went to the wedding) and 2 of them have long term g/f's.

It is definitely possible as long as there are boundaries. You have to recognize that the friendship with someone of the opposite sex is going to have more boundaries than one with someone of the same sex (for example, I would never hang out in a male friend's bedroom in my pajama's - but I do with my g/f's).

My DF also has a couple of female friends.

Neither of us have a problem with it because we trust each other completely. Being jealous and untrusting isn't going to stop someone from cheating on you....and if you honestly wouldn't trust your SO to have a friend of the opposite sex then you probably shouldn't be in the relationship IMO.

Just my 2 cents!

[DiorKiss]

It can excist! I have about 4 really good male friends, I have lots of fun with them and I have no feelings for them whatsoever.
But the odd thing is 2 of them started making moves at me and 1 other actually told me that he was madly in love with me. So I don't know, maybe it's a myth. I still believe in it though.

[isolaated]

i think they can exist. my best friend's a guy.there was once a period when both of us are confused, but when you passed that period its great.

btw, i have more guy friends than girls. i think it's gotta do with my more personality, just cant imagine myself with laces and frills. dont get me wrong, i love dresses, but i just cant stand being too girly.

[balihai88]

While my closest friends are female, I do have very good male friends and I think that we're able to be friends because there has never been any physical attraction. They're friends from grad school, from before I got married. DH and I agree that while it's great to have friends of the opposite sex from earlier phases of our lives, it would be weird to develop a new, close friendship with someone of the opposite sex now.

[siworae]

I believe it can work. Some of my closest friends in college were male.

However, most of my male friends have told me that most guys befriend a girl because they are attracted to her... or even if they're not, they eventually become attracted to her at some point. Some act on it, and some don't.

I am currently single, but the last guy I dated had some close friendships with a couple girls. I never felt any jealousy or had an issue with it, as we've all hung out and had a good time together. In fact, I think most of the guys I've dated had at least one close female friend. I've always had male friends, and the guys I've dated never saw it as an issue either (not that I know of, anyway).

[Danica]

I don't know... all of my male friends have ended up wanting to date me, I on the other hand, never want to date friends that are male. Because they are just that...friends. I find it quite annoying actually, it makes things awkward. I think it's possible...but it's difficult to be very close to someone and neither find the other attractive, etc.

[atrinioman]

It can be difficult. A couple of my opposite sex friendships have hit snags in the past where they expressed feelings for me, or I developed feelings for them. Luckily we got past it without ruining the friendship, but I think that there will come a time when you have to confront something along those lines.
That being said, I don't know how comfortable I would be with a B/F who had a very close female friend. I wouldn't make him stop seeing her but I would be a bit perturbed about them possibly having unexplored feelings for each other.

[illinirdhd]

I think it's easy for a woman to be friends with a single guy - they're fun to hang out with, watch football and drink beer, etc. When she gets involved with someone, the guy she's with can just join the group - he likes her male friend or he doesn't, but he doesn't try to come between them. On the other hand, when the guy gets involved with someone, it seems like the new GF almost always has a problem with the girl he's friends with, and she comes between them. I've had this happen in almost all of my friendships with men. Even since DF and I got engaged, I only have 1 of my male friends who is still "allowed" to hang out with me. I'm not sure why, but I think women are almost always threatened by other women.