Ooh this makes me sooo mad!!

[MissyBaby]

I'm sorry! I have to vent before I go to bed or otherwise I will stay awake all night long and not get any sleep at all!

DF and I sing in a Gospel Quartet. Our wedding is 7 weeks away. 7. 7 more Saturdays and we're married. Time is of the essence. We are working non stop on the house and the wedding. NON STOP!

So I get an email from the other lady in the group saying her cuz called her and wanted us to come sing on Nov. 29th. Only problem is, its 2 weeks before the wedding, and I'M MOVING THAT AFTERNOON, and they know it for that matter. We told them in January not to book ANY (NONE, PERIOD) singings after Nov. 1st because we would be swamped with the wedding. They booked one for early November and I was ok with that....but this....they do this ALL the time. Just book things without telling us about it and then they get hocked off when we tell them we have made other plans. We were supposed to sing Sunday someone and they called us on Saturday night to tell us about it. SUNDAY DF and I were on a RiverBoat celebrating my Aunt and Uncle's 60th wedding anniversary. They said "Well we wish you would have told us before." We didn't have any reason to!

I sent back an email saying it's a busy weekend, I'm moving my stuff, my Maid of Honor is getting into town and the fact that it' THANKSGIVING WEEKEND means that we are all really really busy. DF comes from a split home and we always have to break family occasions up into 4's. My moms side, my Dad's side of the family (since he passed we go to their house instead of everyone, Moms side and Dad's side, coming over to our house), his dad and then his mom and the my Mom's Aunt's family. Busy people, we are.


I feel like they are being very inconsiderate with this. We have already expressly stated that we weren't doing ANYTHING past November 1st. We let it slide once, but I just don't think we can afford to do it again. I'm sorry. We have to pain the rest of our walls, get our countertops put in, paint the cabinets, clean the hardwood floor, scrub the tiles in the bathroom, fix the laundry room step, paint the laundry room, hang curtains, buy washer/dryer, stove, fridge, move our furniture in, move me in.....and then there is all the wedding stuff, we've got favors to put together, programs to get printed, invitations to send out (we're behind), the caterer to finalize cake design with, a second meeting with the florist, with the sound man, get one last groomsmen fitted for his tux......I'm slowly going nuts!


I wouldn't mind doing it if my MOH hadn't taken off work and nearly gotten fired to make it up here for the time before the wedding to help me move and get all the last minute details done. IDK, I will have to talk o DF and find out. They need to ask us before they commit us to something. Thank God they did this time, unlike the last 10 times.


Sorry, I just had to let it off my chest. Now I feel relieved. I will unload all this on DF tomorrow night and see wha he thinks about it. In the end its ultimately his choice between the two of us, he's the lead singer and I'm just a harmony singer.


Miss

[karmenzsofia]

I can understand you being annoyed at them, but IMO you're letting it upset you a bit too much, probably kuz you're stressed under the pressure of everything you have to do before and for the wedding. You're also going over and over the many reasons that justify you not being able to sing in November. You don't have to do any of that. You're moving, you're getting married, you told them not to schedule you in November, they did it anyway, tough sh#t--they screwed up, not you. Based on your post, you're making it your problem and that's why you're upset. It's not; it's theirs. All you have to do is say no. You can't. End of story. You can be polite about it, but frankly I would not give them a laundry list of explanations or excuses because you don't owe anybody--especially them, who should know better--any explanations. Brush it off and enjoy your wedding!

[Sternchen]

It will all be okay!

You told them that you're busy in November but they went ahead and booked appointments - now they just have to deal with it themselves! Don't let them stress you out darlin

[dearmissie]

I agree with Karm and Stern. Just brush them off and enjoy your time!! You've already got a full load of things to do, you don't need to explain squat to anyone!! Congrats on your up coming wedding and the house!!

[natalie78]

Let it out, girl! We all need a good vent session sometimes!

[Charles]

First off, you're doing this out of your own time. Singing isn't your job, so there's no reason you need to plan your life around the groups schedule. If you make plans for your life, then they book the group during the same time, without checking with you first, oh well.
I'd talk to the other 2 people and explain that before anyone books a gig, they need to confirm with everyone that everyone is available. That should solve any scheduling problems in the future.

[bagnshoofetish]

all of the above Missy.
it will work itself out.

[MissyBaby]

You all are right. I'm letting it stress me out cause I've got SOOO much on my plate right now. Plus when I posted that it was about 2 in the morning and I was still on a Mountain Dew high lol from working on the house. I'm saying "NO" whatever DF does is up to him.

[Roo]

Can I make a suggestion? It might be a good idea to completely pull out of other activities you have going on until your wedding is over. It sounds like you are spread thin and it may be better to put EVERYTHING on the back burner until the first of the year. You can also tell everyone that as well, that way there is no confusion about whether you are available or not. You just say, "I'm unavailable for any commitments until after the new year." Problem solved.

[petitechouchou]

Good for you Missy! Everything will work out! Congrats on your wedding and house

[MissyBaby]

They were told that all commitments past Nov. 1st will have to be put off until the new year, but I guess they didn't get the Memo.

I am spread terribly thin and can't wait for it all to be over and to get back into some kind of normal routine, with the added bonus of being with my soul mate forever!!

[canada's]

Originally Posted by Charles

First off, you're doing this out of your own time. Singing isn't your job, so there's no reason you need to plan your life around the groups schedule. If you make plans for your life, then they book the group during the same time, without checking with you first, oh well. I'd talk to the other 2 people and explain that before anyone books a gig, they need to confirm with everyone that everyone is available. That should solve any scheduling problems in the future.

i agree.

moving and getting married in the same month?! whew! you're a braver girl than i! good luck!

[MissyBaby]

Yeah, not the best idea, but it's the way it worked out for us!! It's Thanksgiving, moving, wedding, honeymoon, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve, New Years Day.....then back to school. My schedule is SUPER full.

[Pursegrrl]

Wow, that's a lot! Yeah, if you had already said you weren't available and they tried to anyway that is not your problem. But I can completely understand being so busy, stressed and overwhelmed with everything!!

I've been in church music groups for years and years and groups are in high demand during the holidays as well as Easter so it doesn't surprise me.

I agree with Charles' idea: "I'd talk to the other 2 people and explain that before anyone books a gig, they need to confirm with everyone that everyone is available. That should solve any scheduling problems in the future. "

[MissyBaby]

Absolutely.

Seems like October and November are HUGE months here in KY. Last weekend was our State Singing Convention and we were on the main stage on Saturday night, but worked our booth all night Friday night. I did all this in full hair, makeup and 4 inch heels.

They called DF and he told them no. The plan has always been NO singing on the days we have church. DF's church is a part time church, and the other couple's church is part time (I'm the only full timer) (Part time churches are very popular here in the sticks). They don't book on the Sundays THEY have church, but they don't have problems with booking on DF's church Sundays. Frusterating to say the least.