OMG -- how embarrassing... flipped out a little on SO's friend

IntlSet · Jun 16th, 2008, 09:53 AM

Hi ladies,

I'm normally pretty stoic when things don't go my way but for some reason (PMS?) I sort of snarked at my SO's good friend...

Over the work week, we had planned to go to a fancy lounge on Saturday. My friend and I dressed up, and my SO took us to the lounge... his friend was supposed to meet us there.

At the appointed time of meeting, he calls my SO and says he's still at his house. He then proposes meeting us at a dive bar in a totally different neighborhood. I would have been fine with that, but my friend is not a dive-bar kind of girl and didn't want to go.

So I got on the phone with SO's friend and asked him why the hell he thought it was appropriate to agree to meet us at this fancy lounge, for which we all had to get dressed up for, the location of which required a $20 cab ride, only to tell us he's not meeting us and that he wants to go to some dive bar in a different neighborhood. I think I was more upset that I had asked my girlfriend to get all dressed up only to have us go to a dive-bar... I am normally way more easy-going than that.

He replied, "Whoa, I sense some hostility!" And then I just handed the phone back to my SO. I then said that we're leaving because it's clear his friend is not meeting us, and even if he were, he'd still be a good half hour to an hour away and I didn't care to wait for him. I felt I didn't really have a choice in all this since my girlfriend would not be okay with going to the dive-bar anyway. So we all just departed.

Should I call and apologize? Just let it blow over with him and act like nothing happened? He may not even be upset since he's a guy and he's not as sensitive? Not sure, any advice?

Glamfoxx · Jun 16th, 2008, 09:59 AM

I would apologize to him. Even if you had a right to be ticked off (which you did), it's not cool to snap at him about it.

Jahpson · Jun 16th, 2008, 10:01 AM

im pretty sure that he probably forgotten about the matter. Unless he is holding a grudge against you. (would you even know? do you guys hang out with him alot)

im with you, I think its pretty rude that he wanted to go somewhere for his own convience when the whole party was already at another restaurant. If anything, he is the one who needs to apologize.

ChristyR143 · Jun 16th, 2008, 10:52 AM

I agree with Jahpson. His behavior was really rude and it would have ticked me off too, especially considering it was not just you and your SO, it was a friend of yours as well. He's the one who should apologize.

QueenOfDa702 · Jun 16th, 2008, 10:58 AM

Hahaha, I've done the same thing! Girl, its not that serious. Guys dont give a rats ass! He was probably laughing the entire time. Next time you are with him, if you feel a little hostility, pull him to the side and apologize, if everything is cool, then just forget it ever happened(like he probably has already).

For the record, PMS or not, that would have ticked me off and I probably would have done the same thing!

ChristyR143 · Jun 16th, 2008, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenOfDa702

Hahaha, I've done the same thing! Girl, its not that serious. Guys dont give a rats ass! He was probably laughing the entire time. Next time you are with him, if you feel a little hostility, pull him to the side and apologize, if everything is cool, then just forget it ever happened(like he probably has already).

For the record, PMS or not, that would have ticked me off and I probably would have done the same thing!

This is sooooooo true!

And I don't know why, but the phrase "don't give a rats ass" always cracks me up!

elle tee · Jun 16th, 2008, 11:38 AM

I have done this more than once, sorry to say. Guys just don't understand sometimes, which is beyond annoying, but the plus side is that when we get mad, they barely notice. I once got into a shouting match with my SO's best friend in a grocery store over a similar situation, and we're fine now. At most, the next time you see him, say something like "sorry I got a little snippy with you last time we spoke." Don't worry about it.

rainyjewels · Jun 16th, 2008, 01:35 PM

for me it would depend on why he changed the plan; was some unexpected emergency holding him back at the house? if not, then he consciously made a decision not to make it on time and change the venue based solely on his whim and convenience...which shows that he had no respect for your time/money, and that he cares more about his own convenience than respecting the time/money of 3 other people. he made a conscious decision not to meet you guys on time, not due to any unforeseen circumstances, but simply because he changed his mind. that's just plain rude and disrespectful imo. maybe he didn't intend to be that way and is just immature. either way, i think he owes you guys an apology.

Veelyn · Jun 16th, 2008, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jahpson

im pretty sure that he probably forgotten about the matter. Unless he is holding a grudge against you. (would you even know? do you guys hang out with him alot)

im with you, I think its pretty rude that he wanted to go somewhere for his own convience when the whole party was already at another restaurant. If anything, he is the one who needs to apologize.

Totally agree!

BTW-What is a "dive bar"

shoefan · Jun 16th, 2008, 02:36 PM

I would not apologize or be embarrassed.

I can TOTALLY identify with your situation. I generally have a problem dressing down, but I get self-conscious when I feel I am overdressed for where I am.

Unless he had a legitimate reason to change plans last-minute (which he didn't), I would want it to be known that I thought it was inconsiderate.

candypants1100 · Jun 16th, 2008, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veelyn

Totally agree!

BTW-What is a "dive bar"

A dive bar is a hole-in-the-wall "watering hole" type place...nothin fancy, just some booze and some people. Usually kind of run down, older.

to the OP- I would apologize to him. It will make you feel better, and if there is any lingering recollection of what happened, he will feel better too. I'd also apologize to your friend for going there, and then everyone splitting up when the friend didn't arrive. I would have just tried to have a good time without the SO's friend.

forever21 · Jun 16th, 2008, 08:16 PM

No need to apologize. Guys aren't sensitive like that. He probably forgot about it already, or by his comment "I sense some hostility..." he probably wasn't that bothered by it since he could still make snarky comments.

He probably didn't know how much work it went into you guys getting ready for it then taking a cab over. Did you explain that was the reason you were upset?

lv-lover · Jun 16th, 2008, 08:18 PM

I wouldn't appolgize - you were mostly justified in being short with him. Besides, he's probably forgotten it already, sometimes something seemslike a big deal to you but not others.

dallas · Jun 16th, 2008, 08:24 PM

I don't think that you were very understanding at all and I think you should apologize. Even if men aren't as sensitive about these sorts of things, it doesn't give us the right to be rude.

cosmogrl5 · Jun 16th, 2008, 09:00 PM

You don't need to apologize for being upset about how he ruined your plans, but I'd apologize for snapping. I'm sure your SO would appreciate the gesture too.

Jun 16th, 2008, 09:53 AM	#1
IntlSet Bonjour! Location: Chicago	OMG -- how embarrassing... flipped out a little on SO's friend Hi ladies, I'm normally pretty stoic when things don't go my way but for some reason (PMS?) I sort of snarked at my SO's good friend... Over the work week, we had planned to go to a fancy lounge on Saturday. My friend and I dressed up, and my SO took us to the lounge... his friend was supposed to meet us there. At the appointed time of meeting, he calls my SO and says he's still at his house. He then proposes meeting us at a dive bar in a totally different neighborhood. I would have been fine with that, but my friend is not a dive-bar kind of girl and didn't want to go. So I got on the phone with SO's friend and asked him why the hell he thought it was appropriate to agree to meet us at this fancy lounge, for which we all had to get dressed up for, the location of which required a $20 cab ride, only to tell us he's not meeting us and that he wants to go to some dive bar in a different neighborhood. I think I was more upset that I had asked my girlfriend to get all dressed up only to have us go to a dive-bar... I am normally way more easy-going than that. He replied, "Whoa, I sense some hostility!" And then I just handed the phone back to my SO. I then said that we're leaving because it's clear his friend is not meeting us, and even if he were, he'd still be a good half hour to an hour away and I didn't care to wait for him. I felt I didn't really have a choice in all this since my girlfriend would not be okay with going to the dive-bar anyway. So we all just departed. Should I call and apologize? Just let it blow over with him and act like nothing happened? He may not even be upset since he's a guy and he's not as sensitive? Not sure, any advice? __________________ www.drinkmorechampagne.com

Jun 16th, 2008, 10:01 AM	#3
Jahpson Member Location: The Playground	im pretty sure that he probably forgotten about the matter. Unless he is holding a grudge against you. (would you even know? do you guys hang out with him alot) im with you, I think its pretty rude that he wanted to go somewhere for his own convience when the whole party was already at another restaurant. If anything, he is the one who needs to apologize. __________________ Amazingly Sophisticated Happy Holidays to all my TPF friends!

Jun 16th, 2008, 10:52 AM	#4
ChristyR143 But it was on sale!! Location: Texas	I agree with Jahpson. His behavior was really rude and it would have ticked me off too, especially considering it was not just you and your SO, it was a friend of yours as well. He's the one who should apologize. __________________

Jun 16th, 2008, 10:58 AM	#5
QueenOfDa702 Misunderestimated. Location: I've gone RAOKing crazy!	Hahaha, I've done the same thing! Girl, its not that serious. Guys dont give a rats ass! He was probably laughing the entire time. Next time you are with him, if you feel a little hostility, pull him to the side and apologize, if everything is cool, then just forget it ever happened(like he probably has already). For the record, PMS or not, that would have ticked me off and I probably would have done the same thing! __________________ ~Valeen~ Happy Holidays to all my tPF friends! Click HERE to visit MySpace Please help get justice for Karley! http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...ey-385571.html

Jun 16th, 2008, 01:35 PM	#8
rainyjewels eat me Location: NYC	for me it would depend on why he changed the plan; was some unexpected emergency holding him back at the house? if not, then he consciously made a decision not to make it on time and change the venue based solely on his whim and convenience...which shows that he had no respect for your time/money, and that he cares more about his own convenience than respecting the time/money of 3 other people. he made a conscious decision not to meet you guys on time, not due to any unforeseen circumstances, but simply because he changed his mind. that's just plain rude and disrespectful imo. maybe he didn't intend to be that way and is just immature. either way, i think he owes you guys an apology. __________________ Wishlist - YSL Navy/Purple Croc Muse II - LV Miroir Alma

Jun 16th, 2008, 09:59 AM	#2
Glamfoxx Member	I would apologize to him. Even if you had a right to be ticked off (which you did), it's not cool to snap at him about it.

Jun 16th, 2008, 11:38 AM	#7
elle tee Member Location: nyc	I have done this more than once, sorry to say. Guys just don't understand sometimes, which is beyond annoying, but the plus side is that when we get mad, they barely notice. I once got into a shouting match with my SO's best friend in a grocery store over a similar situation, and we're fine now. At most, the next time you see him, say something like "sorry I got a little snippy with you last time we spoke." Don't worry about it.

Jun 16th, 2008, 02:36 PM	#10
shoefan Member	I would not apologize or be embarrassed. I can TOTALLY identify with your situation. I generally have a problem dressing down, but I get self-conscious when I feel I am overdressed for where I am. Unless he had a legitimate reason to change plans last-minute (which he didn't), I would want it to be known that I thought it was inconsiderate. Last edited by shoefan; Jun 16th, 2008 at 02:39 PM.

Jun 16th, 2008, 08:16 PM	#12
forever21 Member	No need to apologize. Guys aren't sensitive like that. He probably forgot about it already, or by his comment "I sense some hostility..." he probably wasn't that bothered by it since he could still make snarky comments. He probably didn't know how much work it went into you guys getting ready for it then taking a cab over. Did you explain that was the reason you were upset? __________________

Jun 16th, 2008, 08:18 PM	#13
lv-lover Member	I wouldn't appolgize - you were mostly justified in being short with him. Besides, he's probably forgotten it already, sometimes something seemslike a big deal to you but not others. __________________ "On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur, l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux"

Jun 16th, 2008, 08:24 PM	#14
dallas Ya anno	I don't think that you were very understanding at all and I think you should apologize. Even if men aren't as sensitive about these sorts of things, it doesn't give us the right to be rude. __________________ A good deed is never lost: he who sows courtesy reaps friendship; and he who plants kindness gathers love.

Jun 16th, 2008, 09:00 PM	#15
cosmogrl5 Member	You don't need to apologize for being upset about how he ruined your plans, but I'd apologize for snapping. I'm sure your SO would appreciate the gesture too. __________________