[Batel]

Hey guys, I've been reluctant to post about this, but its been bugging me for a long time. My next door neighbor and close friend is quite a bit younger then me and she asks the question a lot. At first it didn't bother me, and then I thought she was just curious what things cost since she is young (19yrs old) but now it's getting ridiculous and annoying to the point that I hide new purchases from her so that she wont ask me "OMG!! How much did you pay for that??"

It started out small, asking about things like books and then she started asking about other purchases like large appliances and more recently she asked myself and MY MOTHER what our credit limit was!? I find this really inappropriate and it makes me very uncomfortable, I've tried to say things like "the price doesn't matter" or "its not really any of your business" but she just keeps probing. I almost feel the only way to get her to stop is to be very rude to her.

I've been pretty successful with just hiding new purchases from her the last few months, I purchased some exercise equipment a few months ago and it sits in the garage so she wont see it when she comes over but I'm getting a puppy soon and I wont be able to hide that from her at all for obvious reasons, I'm tempted to lie and say I bought it from a pet store instead of a breeder or maybe say I adopted it from the humane society. But I hate having to lie to her.

So my questions are, am I crazy? Is this inapropriate? Have you ever had a friend do this to you? How did you deal with it? How would you deal with it? She lives right next door so I can't really ignore her without ending the friendship.
Thanks for your help!

[risingsun]

I wouldn't hide my purchases from her. I would tell her that I don't feel comfortable discussing the price of the things that I buy. If she persists, I would let her know it is not appropriate to ask the question in the first place!

[gillianna]

Just smile and tell her "more than she can afford".....

[Batel]

Originally Posted by risingsun

I wouldn't hide my purchases from her. I would tell her that I don't feel comfortable discussing the price of the things that I buy. If she persists, I would let her know it is not appropriate to ask the question in the first place!

Thank you rising sun, I will make sure to do that next time, I shouldn't have to hide my life!

Quote:
"Just smile and tell her "more than she can afford"....."
gillianna!! If worse comes to worse and I will do this because it will feel so good!

[illinirdhd]

I think I heard this in one of the Shopaholic books - she always told her mom $50, no matter what it was, big or small, designer or not.

I've tried this with my mom - using either $50 or $100 or "it was a gift" or "I don't even remember." Usually it works, except for the time she asked me to pick up one for her...

Since then, I think she's gotten the hint that I just don't want to talk about it and/or that it's none of her business.

[Laurie8504]

Originally Posted by risingsun

I wouldn't hide my purchases from her. I would tell her that I don't feel comfortable discussing the price of the things that I buy. If she persists, I would let her know it is not appropriate to ask the question in the first place!

I agree, good advice.

Also, it of sounds to me like she hasn't been made aware of certain social graces by her parents, ie what's ok to ask people and what's not. She may just be looking for a way to complement you on some of your purchases, but she doesn't really know what to say, so in true awkward teenage fashion it always comes out wrong. Just look at this as an opportunity to help a young girl become a young woman

[Speedy]

There was a thread simular to this back in December when I was a newbie... I admit I learned alot about asking about prices, but I never did say such things like OMG! or YOU ARE KIDDING! or Well, I WOULDN'T pay that much for something...

She's 19, she's got no manners, and I'd go with the "It was 50.oo" for EVERYTHING you bring in she asks you about. Enjoy the responses when you bring in a bag of cat litter or something simple like that.

You may want to talk to her mother as well, tell her you find it rather annoying what her child is doing.

[caxe]

Originally Posted by illinirdhd

I think I heard this in one of the Shopaholic books - she always told her mom $50, no matter what it was, big or small, designer or not.

I've tried this with my mom - using either $50 or $100 or "it was a gift" or "I don't even remember." Usually it works, except for the time she asked me to pick up one for her...

Since then, I think she's gotten the hint that I just don't want to talk about it and/or that it's none of her business.

That's my old standby when asked similar questions. I just say, "I don't remember."

[HauteMama]

I'd just smile and tell her, "I don't discuss price". Not "I don't like to" or "I don't feel comfortable" but "I DON'T". Be firm and never make an exception and she will stop.

[PrincessMe]

i hate when people ask me this too. i usually just say i dont remember like the other poster said

[Batel]

Originally Posted by PrincessMe

i hate when people ask me this too. i usually just say i dont remember like the other poster said

I used that line with her once and she looked up what I had purchased online and printed it out and brought it to me and asked if that was how much I paid!

I'm just going to tell her i don't discuss price like quite a few of you have suggested and if she persists let her know that it's not an appropriate question to be asking.
I think this does have a lot to do with her parents, and I would just go talk to her mother like you suggested Speedy, but her mother doesn't like me at all... but thats another story all in itself!

[amanda]

tell her you stole it. every time. do not relent. she'll eventually get the picture, or you'll have to be very blunt and tell her that it's rude to ask that and you're not going to discuss it.

[Laurie8504]

^^Why does she keep coming over to your house if her mom doesn't like you? You would think she'd do something about it. I can't believe she looked that up online!

[Batel]

She comes over because we are friends and since she's 19 her mom can't really stop her. I work from home so I'm here all day and she's very pushy "hey I'm in your space whatcha doing" kind of person. I'm very mild I don't really care as long as you don't hurt me.

I don't really have any friends here (just moved back here 2 years ago and I'm shy and slow to make friends) so it's hard for me to push her away plus she's my neighbor, don't want to make enemies with my neighbors.

[claudette2]

I would have a conversation with her about it.