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Megs · Jun 2nd, 2009, 11:38 AM

This thread is being opened to continue discussion from the first thread. Find the first thread HERE.

floridasun8 · Jun 2nd, 2009, 11:56 AM

Im glad to see a Part 2 started. Lets hope this is a fresh start and it stays drama free.

To all the people who dont want to have kids...good for you for being able to make that decision before you have a child that you dont want! I applaud you for being able to make that decision and know what you want and what you dont want.

For those that do have kids and/or dont agree with the "anti-kid" people, its not for you to understand or to judge, its for you to either accept the persons decision or move on. I surely hope that we can all get along now!

NagaJolokia · Jun 2nd, 2009, 01:31 PM

I surely hope that we all can express our minds freely within reason w/o having to walk on pins and needles.

My top two reasons for not ever wanting to have a child of my own:
1.) No matter what income, what career, or what lifestyle I live, I want my own time w/ the independent people that I invite into my life. There are so many passions and potential passions to focus on as well as relaxation and having and raising children are definitely not one of them and would be absolutely obtrusive and interfering.
2.) The world population of humans is much more than humongous enough already as it is. This is the most important reason for me. I am looking far beyond the human race as well as within such as living spaces, traffic, etc. that I'm reminded of everyday.

Spinky · Jun 2nd, 2009, 04:23 PM

Thanks for the fresh start Megs! Looking forward to chatting with everyone soon.

edithw · Jun 2nd, 2009, 05:31 PM

Hello ladies
I posted on the firts thread, only a couple of times, and I came back here because I meant to reply to baglover529's post, but then the thread got closed.
I want to let you baglover529 know that what you wrote is the way I feel.
I 80% don't wan't children, but there is that 20%, so I stopped taking the pill about 2 years ago. Yet, the thought of me becoming pregnant somehow doesn't make me happy. I know it's weird, but it makes sense to me. I don't want kids, but I feel that I have to give it a slight chance.
I feel that whichever decision I make, it won't make me fully happy. But mostly, I am too selfish and love my life the way it is.

canadianstudies · Jun 2nd, 2009, 06:39 PM

DH and I are both 24, and happily childfree. I've never been interested in bio-kids, and now that I've researched adoption, I'm not interested in that option either. This being said, I like most kids, love holding babies, and can see myself being a very awesome aunt one day. And, LOL, I am definitely one of those people who compares my puppy to my friends' children! The similarities are quite stunning- potty training, simple commands... I guess this makes sense, though, as the average dog is as smart as a two year old!

SeriouslyChic · Jun 2nd, 2009, 06:51 PM

*stretches*

*looks around*

Yes this is much better.

I wanted to reply to NagaJolokia - you said "there are so many passions and potential passions" and I just thought that was lovely. I am childfree by choice and I really do self-indulge in the experience that is my OWN life... I'm not ready to give away my time to someone else's passions and experiences,... I doubt i ever will be ready to do that.

Like edithw, I LIKE my life the way it is right now... I haven't gotten enough - my "fill" so to speak - of just being myself and discovering all that I'm capable of. So kids, for me, are just not in the plans.

Kitties are because I can leave them for weekends by themselves. They guilttrip me when I get home, but with a few squishes it's all good again.

And I'm okay with this life.

schadenfreude · Jun 2nd, 2009, 06:53 PM

Seriouslychic, do your cats know when you're packing up to go somewhere? The *ahem* smarter of my two totally knows and comes out and sits on the suitcase and pouts....

lmkhlh2006 · Jun 2nd, 2009, 06:59 PM

^^My cat does the same thing, it always makes me feel bad.

BookerMoose · Jun 2nd, 2009, 07:49 PM

^^ Our eldest dog starts to hyperventilate when we start to pack... I think that is a throwback to her former owners who travelled a lot and NEVER took her with them - most of our vacations include the hounds, however, and so you would think that she would get over that reaction after 9 years with us, but one look at a suitcase and away she goes!

And welcome everyone (again) - looking forward to giving and getting lots of SUPPORT here!

NagaJolokia · Jun 2nd, 2009, 08:18 PM

To counteract the so-called and falsely named selfishness of this position, you can be very giving and generous in other ways: charities, your friends, minions, plants, a stranger, whatever family you already have. It does not have to be children! I, for one, have donated a good sum to the environmental and animal causes and I give to my SO whom I love having in my life.

elizat · Jun 2nd, 2009, 08:53 PM

Originally Posted by SeriouslyChic

*stretches*

*looks around*

Yes this is much better.

I wanted to reply to NagaJolokia - you said "there are so many passions and potential passions" and I just thought that was lovely. I am childfree by choice and I really do self-indulge in the experience that is my OWN life... I'm not ready to give away my time to someone else's passions and experiences,... I doubt i ever will be ready to do that.

Like edithw, I LIKE my life the way it is right now... I haven't gotten enough - my "fill" so to speak - of just being myself and discovering all that I'm capable of. So kids, for me, are just not in the plans.

Kitties are because I can leave them for weekends by themselves. They guilttrip me when I get home, but with a few squishes it's all good again.

And I'm okay with this life.

I agree. There are so many things I'd like to do and kids really don't factor in to the list. I'm a fence sitter- kind of the 80/20 variety as posted before. If I met a wonderful guy and it felt right, I had the desire and the situation was right, maybe I'd let the 20% win out.

I would love to be able to travel once I am a bit older (in my late 20's w/ tons of law school debt) and go on long holidays every year to fabulous places, either solo or w/ a SO if I ever feel like dating again and find a great guy.

I have a lot of hobbies too. I love creative stuff and I paint, make jewelry, love cooking and also want to get back into horseback riding, starting w/ a horse lease situation. I love to read and have peace and quiet. I want to learn how to do other creative things too, like pottery. There are just so many things I like doing and want to do that don't mesh with caring for a baby 24/7. I guess it boils down to the fact that I'd rather paint, make jewelry, travel, ride horses or whatever, than be responsible for a child.

boomie · Jun 2nd, 2009, 09:08 PM

Ahhh, things just feel different in this thread :) I said in the last thread how I lack patience for one thing, one of the reasons I don't want a child right now. It's funny because I LOVE puppies and kittens, but they are too much work for me, so I get "used" dogs :) I adopted my 1st dog when he was 3, and Dusty was between 2-4 (he was a rescue, so we'll never know how old he is). Thankfully, I can choose if I want a puppy, but if I get pregnant, it'll be a HUGE change for me, and the boyfriend...now is definitely not the time. I guess patience you never knew you possessed surfaces when you have your own child? Or maybe you either have it or you don't?

leothelnss · Jun 2nd, 2009, 09:20 PM

I think this is the third time around for this thread. They always seem to get closed pretty soon after things blow up with people who disagree with our opinions.
Maybe we should have our own subforum!

That way we could have several debate threads and support threads, but separate from each other...
We could call it "those with furry babies and not-so-subtle parents" or "no-creation: the other option"
Whaddya think?

BookerMoose · Jun 2nd, 2009, 09:22 PM

Originally Posted by boomie

Ahhh, things just feel different in this thread :) I said in the last thread how I lack patience for one thing, one of the reasons I don't want a child right now. It's funny because I LOVE puppies and kittens, but they are too much work for me, so I get "used" dogs :) I adopted my 1st dog when he was 3, and Dusty was between 2-4 (he was a rescue, so we'll never know how old he is). Thankfully, I can choose if I want a puppy, but if I get pregnant, it'll be a HUGE change for me, and the boyfriend...now is definitely not the time. I guess patience you never knew you possessed surfaces when you have your own child? Or maybe you either have it or you don't?

Hi boomie! I also LOVE puppies and kittens but we have rescued all of our beagles as adults also because I know I don't have the patience to have a puppy of my own. Something about the randomness and lack of control - I can't do it even with a dog and yet I love dogs...

Jun 2nd, 2009, 11:38 AM	#1
Megs OP Administrator Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 26,832	Not keen on having kids Support thread #2 This thread is being opened to continue discussion from the first thread. Find the first thread HERE.
Megs OP Administrator Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 26,832	__________________

Jun 2nd, 2009, 01:31 PM	#3
NagaJolokia Soft Addictions Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 1,808	I surely hope that we all can express our minds freely within reason w/o having to walk on pins and needles. My top two reasons for not ever wanting to have a child of my own: 1.) No matter what income, what career, or what lifestyle I live, I want my own time w/ the independent people that I invite into my life. There are so many passions and potential passions to focus on as well as relaxation and having and raising children are definitely not one of them and would be absolutely obtrusive and interfering. 2.) The world population of humans is much more than humongous enough already as it is. This is the most important reason for me. I am looking far beyond the human race as well as within such as living spaces, traffic, etc. that I'm reminded of everyday.
	__________________ 35 bags, 1 bag jewelry, 1 agenda/pic book, 1 coin purse, 1 wallet, 1 key chain, 1 money clip, and 1 business card holder in my collection.

Jun 2nd, 2009, 05:31 PM	#5
edithw Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 277	Hello ladies I posted on the firts thread, only a couple of times, and I came back here because I meant to reply to baglover529's post, but then the thread got closed. I want to let you baglover529 know that what you wrote is the way I feel. I 80% don't wan't children, but there is that 20%, so I stopped taking the pill about 2 years ago. Yet, the thought of me becoming pregnant somehow doesn't make me happy. I know it's weird, but it makes sense to me. I don't want kids, but I feel that I have to give it a slight chance. I feel that whichever decision I make, it won't make me fully happy. But mostly, I am too selfish and love my life the way it is.
edithw Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 277

Jun 2nd, 2009, 06:39 PM	#6
canadianstudies 1 <3 Lyndee! Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 4,944	DH and I are both 24, and happily childfree. I've never been interested in bio-kids, and now that I've researched adoption, I'm not interested in that option either. This being said, I like most kids, love holding babies, and can see myself being a very awesome aunt one day. And, LOL, I am definitely one of those people who compares my puppy to my friends' children! The similarities are quite stunning- potty training, simple commands... I guess this makes sense, though, as the average dog is as smart as a two year old!
	__________________ Saving For: Syracuse Shopping Trip $75/$900 Toronto Trip $30/$800 Vancouver Trip $105/$2000

Jun 2nd, 2009, 06:51 PM	#7
SeriouslyChic Kitty Squisher Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 331	stretches looks around Yes this is much better. I wanted to reply to NagaJolokia - you said "there are so many passions and potential passions" and I just thought that was lovely. I am childfree by choice and I really do self-indulge in the experience that is my OWN life... I'm not ready to give away my time to someone else's passions and experiences,... I doubt i ever will be ready to do that. Like edithw, I LIKE my life the way it is right now... I haven't gotten enough - my "fill" so to speak - of just being myself and discovering all that I'm capable of. So kids, for me, are just not in the plans. Kitties are because I can leave them for weekends by themselves. They guilttrip me when I get home, but with a few squishes it's all good again. And I'm okay with this life.
SeriouslyChic Kitty Squisher Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 331	__________________ "When we communicate with one another, and we feel that we have connected and we think we're understood, I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion. And I think that feeling is what we live for."

Jun 2nd, 2009, 11:56 AM	#2
floridasun8 Member Joined: Nov 2008 Location: Under a Palm Tree Posts: 1,878	Im glad to see a Part 2 started. Lets hope this is a fresh start and it stays drama free. To all the people who dont want to have kids...good for you for being able to make that decision before you have a child that you dont want! I applaud you for being able to make that decision and know what you want and what you dont want. For those that do have kids and/or dont agree with the "anti-kid" people, its not for you to understand or to judge, its for you to either accept the persons decision or move on. I surely hope that we can all get along now!

Jun 2nd, 2009, 04:23 PM	#4
Spinky I love bags! Joined: Jun 2007 Location: Caught in the bell tower Posts: 1,013	Thanks for the fresh start Megs! Looking forward to chatting with everyone soon.

Jun 2nd, 2009, 06:53 PM	#8
schadenfreude yes please Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,575	Seriouslychic, do your cats know when you're packing up to go somewhere? The ahem smarter of my two totally knows and comes out and sits on the suitcase and pouts....
schadenfreude yes please Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,575

Jun 2nd, 2009, 06:59 PM	#9
lmkhlh2006 L.a.m.b. Lover Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 3,132	^^My cat does the same thing, it always makes me feel bad.
lmkhlh2006 L.a.m.b. Lover Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 3,132	__________________ Click to feed an animal today!!! If you don't help them who will?

Jun 2nd, 2009, 07:49 PM	#10
BookerMoose Arrrooooo! Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 2,577	^^ Our eldest dog starts to hyperventilate when we start to pack... I think that is a throwback to her former owners who travelled a lot and NEVER took her with them - most of our vacations include the hounds, however, and so you would think that she would get over that reaction after 9 years with us, but one look at a suitcase and away she goes! And welcome everyone (again) - looking forward to giving and getting lots of SUPPORT here!

Jun 2nd, 2009, 08:18 PM	#11
NagaJolokia Soft Addictions Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 1,808	To counteract the so-called and falsely named selfishness of this position, you can be very giving and generous in other ways: charities, your friends, minions, plants, a stranger, whatever family you already have. It does not have to be children! I, for one, have donated a good sum to the environmental and animal causes and I give to my SO whom I love having in my life.
	__________________ 35 bags, 1 bag jewelry, 1 agenda/pic book, 1 coin purse, 1 wallet, 1 key chain, 1 money clip, and 1 business card holder in my collection.

Jun 2nd, 2009, 09:08 PM	#13
boomie Dogs Rule Joined: Nov 2008 Location: Norfolk, Va Posts: 1,567	Ahhh, things just feel different in this thread :) I said in the last thread how I lack patience for one thing, one of the reasons I don't want a child right now. It's funny because I LOVE puppies and kittens, but they are too much work for me, so I get "used" dogs :) I adopted my 1st dog when he was 3, and Dusty was between 2-4 (he was a rescue, so we'll never know how old he is). Thankfully, I can choose if I want a puppy, but if I get pregnant, it'll be a HUGE change for me, and the boyfriend...now is definitely not the time. I guess patience you never knew you possessed surfaces when you have your own child? Or maybe you either have it or you don't?
	__________________ My favorites: HH: GZ Trophy RM: Sea Green MAM, Cobalt Mini Nikki, Teal mini Devote MJ and MbMJ: Indigo Blake, True Blue Teri Treesje: Blue Asher Coach: Teal Lindsay

Jun 2nd, 2009, 09:20 PM	#14
leothelnss sun in moderation Joined: Jan 2008 Location: Oceanside, CA Posts: 5,985	I think this is the third time around for this thread. They always seem to get closed pretty soon after things blow up with people who disagree with our opinions. Maybe we should have our own subforum! That way we could have several debate threads and support threads, but separate from each other... We could call it "those with furry babies and not-so-subtle parents" or "no-creation: the other option" Whaddya think?
	__________________ Leo's Collection "Are you stalking me? Cause that would be super" GOT my Alice dress! Last edited by leothelnss; Jun 2nd, 2009 at 09:23 PM.

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