[airress]

I was just wondering- is this normal? My SO is 35 years old, we recently got a PS3 for the BLURAY DVD option mainly, neither of us are very into video games. So it was never a concern to have a new video game console- we also own Wii and PS2 and they are just kind of there.
His friends (all married and into their late 30's) and him have been playing an online video game called CALL OF DUTY. It's a bit ridiculous, they will txt each other from their BLACKBERRY phones at around 10p every night and all go online and just play for a few hours every night. This has been going on for about 2 months now- I was not really concerned before- I thought it was a phase, but I know see that it has become daily life? I let him know the other day that I was getting concerned and he is always very careful to not anger me on this, which I appreciate, but should I be putting my foot down now?
what do you think? TIA!

[helium]

For me as a gamer, I say yes it is normal, I can play games all day and all night multiplayer and online.

For everyone who is not a gamer, no, this wouldn't be considered normal behaviour.

So you need to put your foot down... unless you're prepared to start playing Call of Duty with him (great game by the way hehe), he's not going to start noticing you any time soon.

My boyfriend and I just like our games together.

[azhangie]

I dont think it's a problem that he's playing video games, UNLESS its cutting into ur alone time. What exactly is bothering you about this? I dont think it's anything to worry about, it more an annoyance.
^I agree, call of duty is a great game and i can sit there for hours on end until i get frustrated.

[merika]

This is normal for my SO an my DS who play multiplayer games together. If I want a life of what I think is "Normal" I have to put my foot down HARD.

[helium]

Well... I can only imagine that this is an all day and all night thing... I had a friend who wouldn't even stop playing World of Warcraft when I was there, and i'm like 'hello... I am your guest... can you please... treat me like I am your guest.'

If it's the game she's worried about, then poor guy, I couldn't being without my games. If it's the time he's spending playing it (I can imagine one hell of a lot of time), then yes, tell him you're annoyed about the lack of time he's spending with you.

I used to not sleep trying to finish a game... and then get up first thing in the morning and play that... then come home and start playing again. Thankfully my boyfriend likes to play with me, otherwise we'd be in trouble.

[jenarae]

My brother is 28 and he belongs to like a "online crew" of gamers lol It's funny to me but i guess everyone has their own hobbies ya know?

[illinirdhd]

I guess I'm on the other side here - I don't think this is normal, and I wouldn't want it going on with my SO. He does play XBox, and don't get me wrong, I'd rather have him on the couch playing video games than in a bar with his buddies or out getting lap dances, but I don't enjoy video games. And I certainly don't want to sit there and watch him play them during our couples time.

Also, having him staying up an hour or two or three after I go to bed would upset me as well (not sure if this is your situation, but we're usually thinking about bedtime when your SO is starting to play). Each of us have our own hobbies that the other may or may not enjoy, and we make time for that. I find time to watch Oprah or read or shop or go out with girlfriends, and he has time to do whatever it is that guys do. But in my opinion, 3 hours every night is excessive. For us, that would cut into a significant portion of our together time. We basically have, what, 16 or 18 hours of awake time each day? For us, 10+ of those hours are spent working, and another 2 are in the car. Then there's the hour of getting showered, etc., so that leaves roughly 2-5 hours per day of social time that we can spend together, but that also needs to be used for making and eating dinner, cleaning house, important talks, relaxing together.

And no, it's not just video games - I would feel the same way about anything he wanted to do for 3 hours every evening, and I think my SO would feel the same if the situation were reversed.

If I were you, I might conduct an experiment - at some point when he will notice that you're out of the room, do something for 3 hours that specifically excludes him. Do a facial peel, manicure, pedicure, bubble bath, etc. Spend 3 hours on tPF. Read for 3 hours and don't say anything to him. Go to the bedroom and watch TV while he's in the living room wondering what you're doing. That might get your message across to him, or at least open the door for an honest talk.

[dallas]

I don't think that there is much harm in it if it's just for a few hours at night. It's a way for him to unwind after work and it's alot of fun. What's the point in having the game consoles if no-one uses them?

[helium]

Ah I missed the few hours every night bit...

In that case... a few hours is nothing to a gamer. He's most likely yearning for more Call of Duty but for your sake he's actually going to bed every night.

What did you do every night before he started his Call of Duty phase? And you are correct, it is a phase, trust me he will get sick of it one day, but probably just not for at least a year or so. Games are loooong phases.

Plus on a completely unrelated note... did you two really decide to buy a PS3 because of Bluray, or did he just tell you about the awesomeness of bluray so you'd agree to buying it and then he's off playing Call of Duty? Buying a PS3 for Bluray seems kind of like buying a car for an awesome stereo that came with it... but not playing games on it is like not driving the car... you know for it's actual function. Sorry i'm just slightly amused .

Anyway... i'm going to run off and play Call of Duty... all this Call of Duty talk...

[wordpast]

Well I don't know that much about gaming but I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as it was in moderation. I'm always on the purse forum, but I don't neglect my relationship because of it. I think when he starts breaking dates, quality time, etc... to play the game, or spends ALL his spare time on the game, then you have a problem.

[gacats]

Think of the alternatives, as posted here earlier.
Has this been going on forever, or is this a new game & he's just excited about it?

[Elara]

Like Helium, I think it's pretty normal, IF you're a gamer. For example, my husband and I are both logged into World of Warcraft at the moment- and we do that probably 5-6 times a week in the evenings for 3-4 hours at a time. But we've been playing games together since we met 12 years ago, so that's normal for us.

If it's cutting into your "couple" time, there is a problem, though. He may just be excited about the game still- if you're playing with friends, especially, it can become your social time. If I were you, and you're really concerned, sit him down and talk about it, but don't be judgemental, don't be condescending about how stupid you find it, and be gentle.

However, if it's just because it's annoying you, but isn't taking away any quality time from you, I'd just leave it alone. My mother-in-law is constantly criticizing us because we're "still playing that silly game," and that is seriously annoying. Just because she just thinks it's dumb, it couldn't POSSIBLY have any value to anyone, and WE'RE dumb for playing. Verrryyy irritating.

[SPOILEDkiwi]

My boyfriend plays World of Warcraft every day when he comes home from work. We don't live together so it really doesn't matter, but sometimes when I call him he doesn't want to talk because he's playing. I think it's fine, everyone has hobbies. But, if he does it every night and it's starting to affect your relationship then I would ask in a nice way if he can play less and spend more time with you. Be careful that he doesn't think you're demanding that he stop playing because it might start a fight.

[Carmen82]

I don't think it's a problem, I mean we are all on tpf all day aren't we hehe.
My bf actually doesn't like me to be in front of the computer excessively when he's at home, but as long as it doesn't take away from your time together and doesn't affect his work, responsibilities, etc, I think there isn't anything to be worried about.

[Zophie]

A few years ago when my brother didn't have a job and lived with my parents he would play Half Life/Counterstrike for HOURS and I literally mean HOURS! Like he'd sit there all day and play that game and you could hear gunshots through the whole house. He was pretty damn good at it too. Now he has a job and lives on his own and is still into his games. He doesn't have a girlfriend, but if he did I doubt he'd give up his PS3 for her! I don't think it's a big deal. I mean I can spend hours shopping or surfing the net, so why shouldn't someone be able to do the same playing video games?