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gina2328 · Oct 2nd, 2009, 09:59 AM

I think you started off being "the listener" in these friendships and now that you need to vent and have someone listen they don't understand what you need. Or they don't care. Or maybe you just attract selfish, self-centered people. I'm not sure what the answer is, except that really good friends are hard to come by.

Try talking to them nicely about it, but if they don't change, then its time to move on. Friendship is a two way street.

turboflgrl · Oct 2nd, 2009, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by gina2328

I'm not sure what the answer is, except that really good friends are hard to come by.

I couldn't agree more. I literally have 0 "friends" that I really trust and come to during hard times. I talk to my boyfriend of 5 years or family members. Besides that, the "friends" that I have are there to have fun with and enjoy eachother's company.

karmenzsofia · Oct 2nd, 2009, 02:51 PM

Been there. Done that.

It was rewarding for many, many years to help co-workers and friends through their problems and worries--to be their Xanax when they got anxious and their Prozac when they got depressed. Very few (a handful) were balanced enough to give back as much as they took. At the time, I didn't need much. But when I did, guess what? Right. To think of all the money they saved on psychotherapy...and to then turn out to be such poor listeners and unwilling to offer help (or incapable of it in some cases). Yet I'm grateful for the others, the good friends I made.

The way I see it: Where there are takers taking too much, there are givers giving too much.
So we can't blame it all on the takers. It's up to us to keep our resources in balance.

JMHO

Oct 2nd, 2009, 09:59 AM	#16
gina2328 Member Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 625	I think you started off being "the listener" in these friendships and now that you need to vent and have someone listen they don't understand what you need. Or they don't care. Or maybe you just attract selfish, self-centered people. I'm not sure what the answer is, except that really good friends are hard to come by. Try talking to them nicely about it, but if they don't change, then its time to move on. Friendship is a two way street.
	__________________ Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman -- Coco Chanel

Oct 2nd, 2009, 02:51 PM	#18
karmenzsofia Life is Plan Z Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Tarot Card Posts: 14,888	Been there. Done that. It was rewarding for many, many years to help co-workers and friends through their problems and worries--to be their Xanax when they got anxious and their Prozac when they got depressed. Very few (a handful) were balanced enough to give back as much as they took. At the time, I didn't need much. But when I did, guess what? Right. To think of all the money they saved on psychotherapy...and to then turn out to be such poor listeners and unwilling to offer help (or incapable of it in some cases). Yet I'm grateful for the others, the good friends I made. The way I see it: Where there are takers taking too much, there are givers giving too much. So we can't blame it all on the takers. It's up to us to keep our resources in balance. JMHO
	__________________ Satisfied but wishing 4 a WTM Mini and an AP ~~* Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Or, more importantly, is it funny?

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