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Blue824 · Nov 15th, 2007, 03:19 PM

Is it normal to be nervous if you think an engagement is on the horizon?? We've talked about it, looked at rings... there wasn't really a time line though.... but then I recently found something which leads me to believe it a ring was bought and the question will be asked soon.

My first reaction was a huge smile coming over my face when I found that, I got really excited, I cried because what he was doing was sweet... and then I turned into this giant nervous mess!

Is that totally normal? I feel like none of my friends who have gotten engaged have expressed this sentiment... but then, they all knew it was coming in more of an abstract sense, instead of finding something that put a particular date in mind. More nervous not questioning my current feelings for him, but more like... what happens if this doesnt work out 10 years from now, what happens if this isnt right, what happens if i'm not ready for this.

I wish I hadn't found what I found... even though I had suspicions and this confirmed it...but I now its like I have all this time to think and that always gets me in trouble!

Swanky Mama Of Three · Nov 15th, 2007, 03:21 PM

not nervous, more like anxious! butterflies about not knowing when or how!

kbell · Nov 15th, 2007, 03:28 PM

I as well as my girlfriends were all VERY nervous before getting married, after the engagement though, before the wedding. Thoughts of running entered the mind many many times the closer it got:) Now we were all late 20s 30 b4 getting married & independent so I think that had much to do with it. In the end we all went through with it & no split ups - so far so good! Being nervous is completely normal I think. There are never any guarantees in life.
You take a chance on someone worthy of it & hopefully you'll end up growing old together & happy.

IntlSet · Nov 16th, 2007, 10:48 AM

Oh my gosh, Blue, are you getting engaged? I'm so excited and happy for you! Did you and your BF end up finding a condo together after all?

ally24k · Nov 16th, 2007, 11:26 AM

don't be nervous! this is what you want, right?

chipmunk-pnw · Nov 22nd, 2007, 04:41 AM

You're lucky! Most women have to drop big hints, pressure or even issue ultimatums to their boyfriends for an engagement. If yours does it on his own accord, you are truly a lucky gal!

nycmom · Nov 22nd, 2007, 08:02 AM

i think it's totally normal. it's a huge step and your feelings just show how seriously you're taking the committment. if it helps at all, my friends and i were definitely nervous before we got married and then again when we got pregnant (but that's another thread and i don't want to freak you out more)!

anyway i remember someone once told me "anxiety is excitement without breathing" so i hope you're able to take a deep breath and enjoy the ride!

ChiChi143 · Nov 22nd, 2007, 10:01 AM

I think it's normal to get nervous. My SO & I have been together for 7 years & just went ring shopping. I'm very nervous/anxious. It's such a big step. I know he's the one, but my nerves still get to me when I think about it. Just try to relax.

chipmunk-pnw · Nov 22nd, 2007, 04:45 PM

I think it is normal to feel excited and nervous at first but please just don't keep expecting it. Men love surprising their ladies I think, so most will wait for an opportune time when you least expect it to propose. Remember it is more nerve-wrecking for the guy than it is for you since he's the one splurging on the ring and maybe even risking a reject from you in public!

My sister got word from my dad that her boyfriend has asked permission for her hand in marriage. From that date she has been so anxious and nervous as to when he's going to propose. After waiting for nearly a year now she has grown sulky and angry he hasn't proposed. Maybe he's saving up for a large rock, or just battling his nerves? We don't know but we know better than to ask her for updates.

My husband took 6 mths to propose from the day he bought the ring. So be prepared your engagement might not be as soon as you expect it

lv lover steph · Nov 23rd, 2007, 01:24 AM

i was a mess during my engagement -- nervous, questioning... you name it, that was me. i feel so bad for my now dh. i had a harder time giving up my single girl powerness than i probably should have. i wasn't nervous getting married but oh, was i nervous with the engagement. there was so much to finally formalize - where to live, selling my house, having another person in bed with me EVERY night. i was 32 when i got engaged and loved living in the city, being super career focused and be a single girl. i felt such power in it... and worried about what i would give up.

okay, so long answer -- i think it is normal! good luck -- engagement to wedding to newlyweds is a fabulous ride!!

bagnshoofetish · Nov 23rd, 2007, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by Blue824

... what happens if this doesnt work out 10 years from now, what happens if this isnt right, what happens if i'm not ready for this..... now its like I have all this time to think and that always gets me in trouble!

what if the moon falls out of the sky? what if my favorite t.v. show is cancelled? what if I win the Nobel Prize? OMG Chicken Little, stop running around for a minute. What has actually changed? Nothing. Its just a ring. Its just an intent to spend your life together. That should be a good thing. Sure its a little scary because NO you don't know if it will last. No one does. But do you love each other enough to jump into that big scary pool holding hands while you do? Then relax and enjoy the ride. And stop thinking so much. It will work if you two work at it. Marriage is work. But it should be a labor of love, not of panic and anxiety. How far are you two willing to go for that? Just take it one day at a time cause like I've said before, you could be hit by a bus tomorrow or we could be hit by a meteor tonight and what will all this worrying have been for when you should have just been living in the moment and enjoying all of lifes surprises.

dearmissie · Nov 24th, 2007, 10:10 AM

Originally Posted by chipmunk-pnw

You're lucky! Most women have to drop big hints, pressure or even issue ultimatums to their boyfriends for an engagement. If yours does it on his own accord, you are truly a lucky gal!

ITA!!

la miss · Nov 24th, 2007, 12:22 PM

I sure hope it's normal. Becuse I was a nervous wreck when it was my turn.

My then BF told me he wanted a romantic weekend but I immediately figured it out when I realized had reserved a penthouse suite. OMG I was a wreck!!!! What if he was going to propose. What if I was wrong and he wasn't going to propose. What if I got a zit and the pictures would be forever ruined. What if, what if, what if....!!!!! arg!

Long story short I didn't break out in hives or faint of go into the ugly cry or any of the things I was afraid would happen.

He proposed, it was absolutely beautiful and perfect. That night will always be among my most treasured memories.

Nov 15th, 2007, 03:19 PM	#1
Blue824 OP Member Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 1,902	Nervous before you got engaged?? Is it normal to be nervous if you think an engagement is on the horizon?? We've talked about it, looked at rings... there wasn't really a time line though.... but then I recently found something which leads me to believe it a ring was bought and the question will be asked soon. My first reaction was a huge smile coming over my face when I found that, I got really excited, I cried because what he was doing was sweet... and then I turned into this giant nervous mess! Is that totally normal? I feel like none of my friends who have gotten engaged have expressed this sentiment... but then, they all knew it was coming in more of an abstract sense, instead of finding something that put a particular date in mind. More nervous not questioning my current feelings for him, but more like... what happens if this doesnt work out 10 years from now, what happens if this isnt right, what happens if i'm not ready for this. I wish I hadn't found what I found... even though I had suspicions and this confirmed it...but I now its like I have all this time to think and that always gets me in trouble!

Nov 15th, 2007, 03:21 PM	#2
Swanky Mama Of Three Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas Area Posts: 42,765	Re: Nervous before you got engaged?? not nervous, more like anxious! butterflies about not knowing when or how!
	__________________ Tweet http://twitter.com/PBSwanky

Nov 15th, 2007, 03:28 PM	#3
kbell Member Joined: Aug 2007 Location: MA Posts: 2,013	Re: Nervous before you got engaged?? I as well as my girlfriends were all VERY nervous before getting married, after the engagement though, before the wedding. Thoughts of running entered the mind many many times the closer it got:) Now we were all late 20s 30 b4 getting married & independent so I think that had much to do with it. In the end we all went through with it & no split ups - so far so good! Being nervous is completely normal I think. There are never any guarantees in life. You take a chance on someone worthy of it & hopefully you'll end up growing old together & happy.
kbell Member Joined: Aug 2007 Location: MA Posts: 2,013	__________________ Heal quickly & come back soon!

Nov 16th, 2007, 10:48 AM	#4
IntlSet Bonjour! Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 12,990	Re: Nervous before you got engaged?? Oh my gosh, Blue, are you getting engaged? I'm so excited and happy for you! Did you and your BF end up finding a condo together after all?
	__________________ www.drinkmorechampagne.com

Nov 16th, 2007, 11:26 AM	#5
ally24k I.Heart.Bags Joined: Apr 2006 Location: Suburbs of LA Posts: 1,957	Re: Nervous before you got engaged?? don't be nervous! this is what you want, right?
	__________________ Check out my blog: http://citychic.blinkdagger.com

Nov 22nd, 2007, 04:41 AM	#6
chipmunk-pnw ^.^ Joined: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,017	Re: Nervous before you got engaged?? You're lucky! Most women have to drop big hints, pressure or even issue ultimatums to their boyfriends for an engagement. If yours does it on his own accord, you are truly a lucky gal!

Nov 22nd, 2007, 08:02 AM	#7
nycmom Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 1,771	Re: Nervous before you got engaged?? i think it's totally normal. it's a huge step and your feelings just show how seriously you're taking the committment. if it helps at all, my friends and i were definitely nervous before we got married and then again when we got pregnant (but that's another thread and i don't want to freak you out more)! anyway i remember someone once told me "anxiety is excitement without breathing" so i hope you're able to take a deep breath and enjoy the ride!
nycmom Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 1,771

Nov 22nd, 2007, 10:01 AM	#8
ChiChi143 ♥ Happily Engaged ♥ Joined: Jun 2007 Location: New York Posts: 8,257	Re: Nervous before you got engaged?? I think it's normal to get nervous. My SO & I have been together for 7 years & just went ring shopping. I'm very nervous/anxious. It's such a big step. I know he's the one, but my nerves still get to me when I think about it. Just try to relax.
	__________________

Nov 22nd, 2007, 04:45 PM	#9
chipmunk-pnw ^.^ Joined: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,017	Re: Nervous before you got engaged?? I think it is normal to feel excited and nervous at first but please just don't keep expecting it. Men love surprising their ladies I think, so most will wait for an opportune time when you least expect it to propose. Remember it is more nerve-wrecking for the guy than it is for you since he's the one splurging on the ring and maybe even risking a reject from you in public! My sister got word from my dad that her boyfriend has asked permission for her hand in marriage. From that date she has been so anxious and nervous as to when he's going to propose. After waiting for nearly a year now she has grown sulky and angry he hasn't proposed. Maybe he's saving up for a large rock, or just battling his nerves? We don't know but we know better than to ask her for updates. My husband took 6 mths to propose from the day he bought the ring. So be prepared your engagement might not be as soon as you expect it

Nov 23rd, 2007, 01:24 AM	#10
lv lover steph Member Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,871	Re: Nervous before you got engaged?? i was a mess during my engagement -- nervous, questioning... you name it, that was me. i feel so bad for my now dh. i had a harder time giving up my single girl powerness than i probably should have. i wasn't nervous getting married but oh, was i nervous with the engagement. there was so much to finally formalize - where to live, selling my house, having another person in bed with me EVERY night. i was 32 when i got engaged and loved living in the city, being super career focused and be a single girl. i felt such power in it... and worried about what i would give up. okay, so long answer -- i think it is normal! good luck -- engagement to wedding to newlyweds is a fabulous ride!!
lv lover steph Member Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,871	__________________ Jump into spring with the NEW line from Silpada! 39 NEW pieces to share! See my website - www.mysilpada.com/stephanie.titzel Mention TPF and save 15%!!

Nov 24th, 2007, 12:22 PM	#13
la miss parigote Joined: May 2007 Posts: 3,277	Re: Nervous before you got engaged?? I sure hope it's normal. Becuse I was a nervous wreck when it was my turn. My then BF told me he wanted a romantic weekend but I immediately figured it out when I realized had reserved a penthouse suite. OMG I was a wreck!!!! What if he was going to propose. What if I was wrong and he wasn't going to propose. What if I got a zit and the pictures would be forever ruined. What if, what if, what if....!!!!! arg! Long story short I didn't break out in hives or faint of go into the ugly cry or any of the things I was afraid would happen. He proposed, it was absolutely beautiful and perfect. That night will always be among my most treasured memories.
la miss parigote Joined: May 2007 Posts: 3,277	__________________ Dammit, I said good day! Follow me on Twitter

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