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Pinkluv · Oct 23rd, 2009, 09:51 AM

I am so sorry... breakups always hurt and there is always that lil hope you want to hang on to, especially when the other party is trying to eat their cake and have it.

Please delete/block her from your face book, aim and all....for your own good. If she cannot reach you via online and starts calling change your number. If she comes looking for you, get a restraining order... ok maybe not, but seriously....if you don't put an end to it she won't and only you would be miserable for longer than you should be.

Bottom line is she does not love you. People who love you do not do that to you.

DiorDeVille · Oct 23rd, 2009, 10:33 AM

Chris, I agree with others here that you sound like a great guy. I'm so sorry that you're going through this! You will have no trouble finding someone even better (as hard as that may be to believe now) who will treat you with respect and love, just as soon as you're ready.

Originally Posted by Kansashalo

I agree - she is toying with you. She is maintaining minimal contact with you because you are her "just in case" guy. I suspect she decided to do this once she found out that you were going to pop to question. In case things with her current guy do not work out (or in case the single life doesn't pan out like she wants) she wants to have you as the backup plan.

Sorry you're going through this because you do seem like a nice guy. As others have said, employ the "no contact rule". She needs to know that you are not going to be sitting around waiting on her.

Good luck OP!

This post is exactly what I was going to say. Agree that she probably decided to use you as a backup after she found out about the ring. I think blocking her from anything that she can use to keep tabs on you would be a great idea. If anything, blocking her completely might be the best way to get her to come back (if she ever was going to, and if you still want someone who can do this to you).

Best of luck - hang in there - it will get better.

Chris2195 · Oct 23rd, 2009, 02:44 PM

Thanks for all the advice, I thought about it and there is no positive end to this in the short term, even if she ever came back I realize that I couldn't trust her especially since I would feel like a backup guy.

Seems like it's a bad year for relationships, besides my relationship ending a few months ago, over the past 3 months I know 9 couples that broke up that have well over 2 years of history, lol, just two days ago received a call almost at the same time from my buddies who said they just got dumped.

Thanks again!

Firefly32 · Oct 24th, 2009, 09:28 AM

Good luck to you and stay strong!! You seem like a nice guy and you deserve a soemone who loves you, not someone toying with you!! This girl does not love you, even if she did come back... would you wan't to be with someone who doesn't really love you??

Breakups are difficult but the right girl is out there, just might take some time to find her :-)

shy*violet · Oct 25th, 2009, 07:30 PM

Honey, you need to cut her loose. Also consider the "no contact rule" (which would include FB contact/checking).

I get the feeling that she doesn't want you, but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either.

Either that or she's stringing you along on the off chance that it doesn't work out with her & her new guy.

FashionParadise · Oct 26th, 2009, 08:31 PM

Change your number, AIM. Ignore her calls. Before doing so, you can tell her that you think it's for your well-being and for the best all around if each of you go his or her separate ways. Burn pictures, donate items that she gives you to charity. Do whatever it takes to move on because something as a simple e-mail from her could be temptation to fall back one step. It doesn't look like something promising so I would run away from her and find someone else.

Chris2195 · Oct 30th, 2009, 11:12 PM

Thanks again everyone for the advice!

Well we haven't spoken in 2 weeks, and right now the only thing that bothers me is the knowledge that she just hopped into a relationship so soon, a month after the breakup but I'm sure that will pass in time.

This is a great community!

Chris2195 · Nov 3rd, 2009, 08:49 PM

So I haven't spoken to my ex in a few weeks, I always let her contact me. Well this is the longest stretch that it's been since she has contacted me and well I was a little down about it but doing well. Well she called me up today and we were speaking and to be honest I was so happy when she called like an old best friend just called. (I had blocked her on my aim, fb, etc) While talking to her it finally hit me, the tone of her voice, and well the conversation in general that I won't have back what I used to have and that made me feel a lot worse then just not hearing from her, the small talk made me feel worse then no talk at all.

Now it's for sure, I have to cut her completely out of my life and just tell her to stop contacting me.

Charles · Nov 4th, 2009, 09:30 AM

Sounds about right...that roller coaster of emotion. Deep down you're a bit excited to hear from her/him, but then you realize that it's all in vain. I think for a while you need those emotions to confirm you're alive, but eventually, you see that there's no point to it.

Time, time, time.

BagLadie · Nov 4th, 2009, 07:01 PM

You sound like a great guy. You deserve better than this. Go find someone who will give you the love and respect in return.

Oct 23rd, 2009, 09:51 AM	#16
Pinkluv Member Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 45	I am so sorry... breakups always hurt and there is always that lil hope you want to hang on to, especially when the other party is trying to eat their cake and have it. Please delete/block her from your face book, aim and all....for your own good. If she cannot reach you via online and starts calling change your number. If she comes looking for you, get a restraining order... ok maybe not, but seriously....if you don't put an end to it she won't and only you would be miserable for longer than you should be. Bottom line is she does not love you. People who love you do not do that to you.
Pinkluv Member Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 45

Oct 23rd, 2009, 02:44 PM	#18
Chris2195 OP Member Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 9	Thanks for all the advice, I thought about it and there is no positive end to this in the short term, even if she ever came back I realize that I couldn't trust her especially since I would feel like a backup guy. Seems like it's a bad year for relationships, besides my relationship ending a few months ago, over the past 3 months I know 9 couples that broke up that have well over 2 years of history, lol, just two days ago received a call almost at the same time from my buddies who said they just got dumped. Thanks again!
Chris2195 OP Member Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 9

Oct 25th, 2009, 07:30 PM	#20
shy*violet I heart PINK! Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,287	Honey, you need to cut her loose. Also consider the "no contact rule" (which would include FB contact/checking). I get the feeling that she doesn't want you, but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. Either that or she's stringing you along on the off chance that it doesn't work out with her & her new guy.
shy*violet I heart PINK! Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,287	__________________ I want a teal bag, dangit!

Oct 26th, 2009, 08:31 PM	#21
FashionParadise Life is So Sweet Joined: Aug 2008 Location: Amongst the stars Posts: 778	Change your number, AIM. Ignore her calls. Before doing so, you can tell her that you think it's for your well-being and for the best all around if each of you go his or her separate ways. Burn pictures, donate items that she gives you to charity. Do whatever it takes to move on because something as a simple e-mail from her could be temptation to fall back one step. It doesn't look like something promising so I would run away from her and find someone else.
	__________________ "At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe." -From The Polar Express

Oct 30th, 2009, 11:12 PM	#22
Chris2195 OP Member Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 9	Thanks again everyone for the advice! Well we haven't spoken in 2 weeks, and right now the only thing that bothers me is the knowledge that she just hopped into a relationship so soon, a month after the breakup but I'm sure that will pass in time. This is a great community!
Chris2195 OP Member Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 9

Oct 24th, 2009, 09:28 AM	#19
Firefly32 Member Joined: Jul 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,570	Good luck to you and stay strong!! You seem like a nice guy and you deserve a soemone who loves you, not someone toying with you!! This girl does not love you, even if she did come back... would you wan't to be with someone who doesn't really love you?? Breakups are difficult but the right girl is out there, just might take some time to find her :-)

Nov 3rd, 2009, 08:49 PM	#23
Chris2195 OP Member Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 9	So I haven't spoken to my ex in a few weeks, I always let her contact me. Well this is the longest stretch that it's been since she has contacted me and well I was a little down about it but doing well. Well she called me up today and we were speaking and to be honest I was so happy when she called like an old best friend just called. (I had blocked her on my aim, fb, etc) While talking to her it finally hit me, the tone of her voice, and well the conversation in general that I won't have back what I used to have and that made me feel a lot worse then just not hearing from her, the small talk made me feel worse then no talk at all. Now it's for sure, I have to cut her completely out of my life and just tell her to stop contacting me.
Chris2195 OP Member Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 9

Nov 4th, 2009, 09:30 AM	#24
Charles Sucks at budgeting Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Fl Posts: 6,194	Sounds about right...that roller coaster of emotion. Deep down you're a bit excited to hear from her/him, but then you realize that it's all in vain. I think for a while you need those emotions to confirm you're alive, but eventually, you see that there's no point to it. Time, time, time.
	__________________

Nov 4th, 2009, 07:01 PM	#25
BagLadie Got a handle on it Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 7,002	You sound like a great guy. You deserve better than this. Go find someone who will give you the love and respect in return.
	__________________ If life hands you lemons, make a vodka and lemonade. Then use the rest on your elbows.

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