My Guy Friends' Gf is Texting Me

[Immi]

Seriously just ignore it. It's just texts. Mention it to your guy friend and leave it at that. Don't let a few texts wind you up so much, just treat them like you would if you got a few spam texts.

There's nothing you could do to make her feel better. If she's paranoid about you she probably lives in her own personal he** imagining that every single girl is a threat to her relationship.

[Gimmethebag]

I feel bad for your friend, honestly. Insecure girls aren't fun girlfriends.

I would let your friend address it... Just make sure that when you tell him about the texts that you don't attack her. If a guy isn't man enough to stick up for himself and his other relationships (family, friends), usually the girl rules his social calender and your friendship will begin to fizzle out.

I have experienced some of that and it sucks. But instead of being angry when my friend tells me that he can't make plans to hang out with me until he checks in with the gf (my SO doesn't get offended if one of us makes plans to do something with a friend), I now pity my friend. All the signs are there that his gf is ready to settle down and is wanting marriage--- marriage is a LONG time especially with a controlling partner.

[lovebug]

I realize it wasn't the best thing to do to respond to her, but at the time I was upset. I haven't said anything since, but would like to talk to my friend and since she's on his phone I pretty much can't.

[Charles]

Originally Posted by simplygm819

This is VERY TRUE. I don't know one single guy who wouldn't pick his gf over any friend, even if it's a friend he's known for years! I wouldn't have added fuel to the fire by doing anything that would piss his gf off even more!

If the girl I was dating was sending texts to my friends telling them to back off....uh, I wouldn't be dating her for long. I don't have time for jealous, insecure girls.

OP, I'd ignore it. If they continue, talk to your friend and let him know that you don't appreciate what she's doing. This isn't about him choosing her or you, it's about him telling his gf to stop acting like a 14 year old.

[Bella]

Originally Posted by turboflgrl

Ever heard the saying "bros before hos"?

This made me laugh. I have heard that term, maybe it's stereotypical, but I can only picture a couple of meatheads proudly saying that while engaging in a chest bump before moving on to their next conquest.

[surferchick2]

What exactly did you text to mess with her? It's only going to make it worse (especially for your friend) by doing that. I can't imagine her being in his life for very long. Usually girls who are that insecure not only have problems with other friends (who happens to be girls), but any night he might want to hang out with his male friends. This can go for men also, who don't even want their gfs to look good in case another guy even looks at her. I had a male friend who I'd known for years, who was like my brother. I remember his new gf hung up on me, when I thought it it disconnected, when I called his home phone to ask for him, and she knew we were practically siblings. I had even gotten along with her face to face, and until he told me she did that, I didn't know. Then the bitterness started. I told him that she needs to get over it, because I wasn't going to give up our friendship because of her, unless he wanted to. She didn't last long, obviously. Not just the possessiveness, but she would constantly badger him to get married. Desperate and insecure. What a combo.

[Fetish]

Ive been through this so much, I cannot even count. THANK GOD not through texting (I mean, them having my personal phone number would be a little creepy).. but online or through other people, they will threaten me or warn me to back off. Like grow up! I have a lot of guy friends and many of them have stupidly talked highly about me in some way or another (this is what they tell me) so the girl gets jealous and reacts. The worst is when you've had a strictly platonic relationship for several, several years and one day a new girlfriend flips out over the friendship. Dont you think that perhaps if I wanted to date them, I would have?

The BEST thing to do is do not retaliate. Dont text her, dont message her, as tempted as you may be. Simply ignore her. The longer you ignore her, the more likely she is to forget about you. You can message her and tell her anything you want: "We were friends before, we are nothing but friends.." and it wont make a difference. These girls are obviously irrational and nothing you do or say is going to make them change their minds - it will just add fuel to the fire.

[vhdos]

I'd say act like an adult and back off. If your guy friend wants to continue his friendship with you in the same way it has always been then he will. Sometimes people just don't understand that the rules of guy/girl friendships can change based on relationship status out of respect for their partner. This is not to say that guy/girl friendships need to end when one of the friends is in a relationship, but adjustments may need to be made to keep everyone happy.

[surferchick2]

I'm sure dh appreciates that I was never rude to his friends who happened to be female. Even now he calls some to see how they're doing. Who cares. I trust him enough to not let his friends, girls, gals, trans, whatever bother me... as he is with me. I'd never be with someone who wouldn't trust me enough to allow me my male friends.

[Jahpson]

i would tell him and ask him to "handle his girl"

[glamgirl84]

Originally Posted by vhdos

I'd say act like an adult and back off. If your guy friend wants to continue his friendship with you in the same way it has always been then he will. Sometimes people just don't understand that the rules of guy/girl friendships can change based on relationship status out of respect for their partner. This is not to say that guy/girl friendships need to end when one of the friends is in a relationship, but adjustments may need to be made to keep everyone happy.

I 100% agree with this.

[rainedrop1019]

Sorry if I missed this in the thread but did you tell your guy friend about this? He definitely should know if his girlfriend is being a little crazy possessive. Beyond that, I agree with others and it's up to him whether he will be friends with you and tolerate her behavior. On your part, if you still want to be friends with him, it sounds like you just need to ignore it until she goes away.

[gacats]

OP, I'd back way far away from that new gf of his and just let time take care of it. And I would tell your friend about it, calmly and offhandedly, and then just leave it alone.

[nycfashionlvr]

OK I may be the only one here who feels this way and may get bashed for this but when you're in a serious relationship I think its completely inappropriate to have close relationships with other females. Female acquaintances sure, no problem but a CLOSE CLOSE friend? No, don't think thats ok and I kind of understand where she's coming from. It could be insecurity thing but for me it would just seem odd...why is my so spending quality time with another female? It just looks and feels weird to me and I don't approve. It definitely was wrong for her to text her that is something she should have taken up with him and instead of adding fuel to the fire by messing around with her I would have just said please take this up with him.

[petitechouchou]

OP, I've been in that situation before and let me tell you, if he doesn't handle his gf, you're best bet is to stay away. Nothing good ever comes out of that kind of situation...Best of luck to you!