My family is breaking apart. SoCal fire, cancer, etc. (REALLY LONG)

[dearmissie]

This past month has just been so difficult. I feel the need to vent..

Many of you have read about the sexual harrassment issue I went through at work.. It's been difficult, but now things just seem to be getting worse. The past recent years my great grandmother has been very ill. About a 3 months ago my great grandmother's primary caretaker (my great aunt Dy) got dianosed with cancer. Because my great aunt was unable to take care of my great grandmother, my other great aunt Nang from Colorado flew in to take care of the two. During this time, my great aunt Dy went into sugury for her cancer, but they had to cancel because they found she had a large tumor blocking whatever internal parts they needed to perform surgury on. Then just two weeks ago I found out my great grandma got diagnosed with cervical cancer. I found out last night she was so weak last week my great grandma wasnt even able to speak over the phone when my grandmother called to check in on her. Then the night before my great aunt Dy heard a noise in the middle of the night, and she walked out the room to find my great grandmother shaking and crawling on the ground headed for the kitchen. (she needs to drink orange juice when she starts having trembles because it means her sugar is low). I immedaitely got mad because there should be a bell or something in her room for her to signal she needs something, my Mom said she has one. My great grandmother just chose not to use it, she didnt want to be a burden to anyone and wake them up. (I wanted to tell her, "goodness granny!! its okay! wake the world up!" this just isnt right!) Then last week my great aunt Nang from Colorado had to go back home because she found out she too has cancer and needed to go home to be treated.

To make things worst, I was in class today when I had to talk to my teacher and explain my life has just been hell this month and say sorry I haven't been in class. At that moment I got a text from my uncle Puma (who lives in Sacramento. He and I aren't close. I'm closer to his wife. He never calls me let alone texts me. So I knew it had to have been important.) In his text, he asks if I heard from my Mom. That he's tried to call her because he cannot get ahold of my family who is in San Diego. I call him back when I get into my car, and I find out he spoke to my grandma at 8 a.m. and she said she was waking up my uncle Chanda to pack. My family was packing to evaculate. Last night at 2 a.m. my aunt Marisa got a phone call from her boyfriend telling her to flee the home. The fire was just one city away from her house. She left and went to my Grandma's house. She said she looked out her window in her backyard, and she saw the flames were right behind her fence. My Grandmother in San Diego has very bad health. She moved away from the Sacramento area because of her allergies and because of the bad air quality was making it difficuly for her to breathe. Now in San Diego its horrific. My family didn't have a place to go to. San Diego opened Qualcomm Stadium for families to stay, but theres over 10,000 people inside, and people camping outside the staduim, and sleeping in their cars. Hospital patients are even being evaculated from the hosptial being sent else where. My grandmother is in no condition to stay there. I scrambled in tears all morning to try to help from where I live. (Bay Area, CA) I told my family to purchase tickets to fly up here because they have no where to go, and my grandmother is being ill from all the ash and smoke in the air. My grandparents have a little old donut shop that is their only income. And if they leave, they'll have to shut it down. I think that's what my grandparents are scared of. But they did finally just call me and tell me that my grandma and uncle will be flying here today and arriving at 3:20 p.m. (thank goodness!) and my aunt Marisa and her boyfriend will be fleeing the area to go to to a different country where his family is at. and my aunt Waneda and my grandfather will be joining her boyfriend and his family and leave the area to drive away to stay at his families house that is not being threated by the fire.

I'm a bit shooken up still. My grandparents used to be really well off in Thailand, and coming to America to give their children everything (with a lot of help from my great grandma, [it was her idea to come here]) they lost everything. Struggling to pay bills with their little donut shop, my wonderful Mother helps them pay for all their bills, she paid for both her sisters to go to college because my grandparents could not afford it. And now, my grandparents are facing the chance of losing their home and everything theyve ever worked for. Their only source of income will be gone. I grew up there. My childhood friends are still there. I go home as often as I can. It hold so much value to me. I was suppose to be moving back home next year. I plan on getting married there at Balboa Park, if it hasn't been damaged yet.

I'm so stressed, this month has just been hell. I haven't slept in over 2 days. I'm going histerical. Sorry my long rant, I need to clean up my room and make room in my car to pick them up and their luggage from the airport. I'm amazed I haven't passed out from exhustion already.

Please everyone keep the people in San Diego in your prayers. We appreciate it.

[MartiniGirl]

I'm so sorry for your difficulities. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless You.

[cascherping]

I am sending you and your family well wishes - I am so sorry about everything that you're going through...

[jenniletv]

I am so sorry to hear about that is going on in your life. You and your family are in my prayers.

[handbag_luvr]

You are an awesome person....

[dusty paws]

I hope everything turns out okay - thinking of you! (I'm in the bay area too, if you need an ear, please don't hesitate!)

[itsnicole]

I'm so sorry to hear about everything you're going through. I hope everything gets better soon.

[jellybebe]

Oh my, that is a lot to deal with at once. I am sending you and your family well wishes. Please don't hesitate to reach out here for help!

[south-of-france]

Take care of yourself too! You seem to be doing so much, I hope it's all going better soon

[Label Addict]

Stay strong this is a difficult time vent all you like you clearly deserve it you & your family are in my thoughts {{HUGS}}

[Odette]

Seems like when it rains, it pours with troubles in the family...you and yours are in my prayers.

[Bagluvluv]

Im so sorry that your going through all this....

Know that we are all thinking of you...hugs!!!!

Make sure to take good care of yourself so that you can be there for your family....keep us posted...

[Bubble Girl]

Sending positive vibes your way.

[nauticalstar]

I don't even know what to say... but I just wanted you to know that I read your post and I am really sorry for all you have to deal with right now. Please vent all you need to!

[dearmissie]

so im so utterly happy that my grandmother and uncle chanda are here safely away from the fire. but im sad to say my aunts home is said to be safe enough to go back. and she did. to find that the fire has not changed at all. it is no more contained that it was before (ot was 0% contained then). the fire is STILL in her backyard. and she has no where to go, it's so late already and many MANY of the shelters are full) i pray she and her boyfriend are safe tonight.

but things at home are no better. i dont have the time nor energy to waste on pathetic crap. i found out my great grandmother just got emitted today to the ER. and my uncle chanda is being a little brat! at the age of 32 ive never met such an immature little boy before. i am so busy with school, family in socal, my sick family up here, and with some socal family here now. thank goodness i quit my job. because my mom works in the day so i have to drive everyone everywhere, run errands, go to the hopstial, cook, and clean for a family of 13. its like a full time job, and im beat. i need rest, sleep, and food. i cant take this petty crap my uncle its trying to pull. sorry i need to vent more, but i need to do it somewhere so i dont take it out on my family.


we do NOT get along. i havent gotten along with him since about 5th or 6th grade. we got into it BAD. i almost socked him in the face. hes the black sheep of the family and im not just saying that because i dont like him. no one likes him. its messed up... but every year for xmas i do the shopping on behalf of my mother and i. she just gives me the money and i do it all bc she hates shopping.. anyways.. for the past 4 or 5 year i forgot to get him something. and even when my mom and i were talking how many guest i would for my wedding, and i forgot him. you seriously have no idea. hes so corrupted. my moms a therapist, shes like sooo patient and understanding, but she gave up on him years ago! (thats how crazy he is!) my mom barely gets involved in the annual family fight. yes every year we have a fight in december in san diego. the only time my whole family comes together. and by the first night, my familys getting it on about him. last year, my uncle puma's daughter was sleeping. (she was 1 then) and chanda was on the computer, yelling at my gma showing her the speakers worked. and my uncle puma told him to lower his voice that he shouldnt be yelling at his mom like that and that he didnt want his daughter to wake up and my uncle chada turns on the speaks at the max to "prove" to my gma that they were working omg my uncle puma ran into the room and my gpa was holding him back. see, my uncle chanda has a mental disease (i beleive, we all do. not trying to be mean, but he does) hes sooo into his looks and hes soooo not attractive. he wears girls clothes and he ist gay lol. he thinks the tight shirts and pants make him look buff. (hes sooo small, barely 100lbs and shorter than i am, trust me we all thought he was gay, then it would make more sense. my gay cousin wears girls clothes so its not like we have a problem with it. i have pleanty of gay friends, so i have a gay-dar and trust me i know he is not gay.) and so my uncle puma was yelling at him. saying "you stupid &%$#%. youre so disresectful! i just told you to shut the *^%$ up my daughters sleeping. u wanna be a &%#%?? ill $#@%^ punch you in the god d*%& face &%$#@! now you dont want that do you??? &%^ing up your precious $%#@ing face. you better be like this.. (acts it out) blocking your $%#@ing face you dumb #$@^" in the past my mother has told me not to feed into his sickness by answering his questions. when i was in the 5th grade he yelled at me because i wouldnt answer his beauty questions (listen to what my mom told me to do). he was so upset i wouldnt tell him how i slept. on what side etc. and because i wouldnt tell him how i washed my face. did i splash the water onto my face, drizzle it on, cup it to my face?? how did i dry it? dab it dry, wipe it dry, air dry?? its pathetic. he told me i was ugly and that he never wanted to see another ugly face again. this was the ONLY time in my life i flipped on him, i said, "then dont look in the mirror" omg, he came at me trying to attack me at the donut shop in front of the customers. crazy guy.

so then today i get in it with him. he doesnt have any lotions, creams, or razors bc my fam said dont bring it. might be drama on the airlines again just because of the emergency. blah blah.. so he asked me to go to the store. and my gma said "tomorrow, its late. and she has school at 6 am" (plus i havent slept in 2 days, im beat!) so i was going to take him and her tomorrow while were all running errands before going to the hosptial(my great grandmother got emitted last night again) its all in the same area so it makes sense right? he askes me later.. "can u take me to walmart? i need to buy a nose trimmer."ARE YOU SERIOUS!? he caught me though, he asked me what time i was going to bed, and i said late, she then he was like, "in that case can u take me..." i said cant it wait til tomorrow" he didnt answer, he just said, "im going to shower real quick though.." (quick?! at home u take 3 hours!) so then he "showers" i fall asleep and i wake up 30 minutes later. i didnt hear the water turn on at all so im thinking wtf is he doing? lemme go check... i knock and hes like "ya?" and im like "Are you ready? and hes like "what?! i didnt even shower.. im just washing my face right now." wtf?
30 FREAKIN MINUTES TO WASH UR FACE IN A SINK what the hell WHEN U ARE GOING TO WASH IT IN THE SHOWER!!!! so i go away and 10 minutes later i hear the shower on 30 minutes later hes done showering... ooh wait okay so while in the shower my gma and mom are slamming on the door telling him hes rude that im asleep blah blah. he doesnt answer. so after showering for like 30 minutes im thinking he'll come out now.. but nooo for 20 minutes hes in the bathroom probably "washing" his face or checking out his face/nose from diffrent angles. he comes out and he gets it from my gmaand a lil from my mom my mom doesnt like to get into it, but when it comes to me she does for a bit. so my gma says hes not going with me. that im going to bed soon. and she B*&%$#@ at him about trimming his nose. and hes like, "well i wanna impress great grandma tomorrow at the hosptial. i havent seen her in so long" and my gma goes, "you havent seen her in so long? what about your neiece and sister? you havent seen them in soooo long either but you didnt trim ur nose hairs for them! in fact, your rude to your neice. shes tired and has to wake up early and your rude by asking her to take u out so late and have the nerve to shower and take ur time?? why do u want to impress great grandma? she cant even see!! she cant see crap, not your nose hairs, or your tight girl clothes!!!!" ahahaah damn my gma has balls!! he comes back with the line.. "its for respect". who trims their nose hairs as a sign of respect?! seriously! (do you trim your nose hairs before meeting someone as a sign of respect? do i need to be informed of a new trend?!) then he knocks on my door, asking me if he can use my laptop. i say im using it for school when im really talking to friends about my drama and typing this. hahaa. im too lazy to move 2 feet to my chair for the desk top.. and i say hes more than welcome to use my desktop. and then he says, "ok, thank you.. (walks in) well actually, i wanted to use it at night." im thinking.. WHAT THE HECK DO U NEED TO DO ON MY COMPUTER AT NIGHT?! i tell him my laptop is strictly for school, and it is! i dont download anything theres NO programs aside from word on it no music on here no youtube allowed nothing. and hes like "oh yah, i just wanna watch the news and check my email" WHO THE HECK GONNA EMAIL YOU!? you have no damn friends! and thats what TV is for! go watch CNN!


(to be continued below. tPF says the post was too long. ha!)