My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do?

babypebblezz · Dec 17th, 2007, 12:29 AM

I was playing with my cousins' cellphone and found secret text messages between her and her co-worker whose married with a 13 year old child. (She's 25 and the guy is 50).I'm so confused right now and extremely mad. Should I confront her?

heartnaspade · Dec 17th, 2007, 12:39 AM

Oh wow...I don't know if I would confront her - why were you reading her text messages to begin with? Obviously what's she's doing is wrong, but getting in the middle of it could cause serious problems in your relationship. You could try discretely asking her if she's seeing anyone or something like that, but if she wanted you involved, she would tell you.

bagnshoofetish · Dec 17th, 2007, 12:41 AM

Why were you reading her private text messages?
Be that as it may, now that you know, I would be honest with your cousin and just tell her what you read. In the end, it is her business. I'd let her know I didn't think it was a very cool thing to have an affair with a married man with kids and leave it at that. I would probably also tell her that I would not want any part of it and to never include me in any lies they may be telling because of it.

caxe · Dec 17th, 2007, 12:44 AM

My name would be Bennett, and I wouldn't be in it.

My name would be Claire, and I wouldn't care.

My name would be Wes, and I'd be out of the whole mess.

Etc.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay to be mad, depending on your point of view and morals and personal ethics, but I would not confront her if I were you. In fact, I would stay far, far away and say nothing. I'd let karma take care of it. Like my mom always used to say, "What's done in the dark will soon come to light." I'd let my cousin sink or swim but I'd let it be totally her affair. No pun intended.

chipmunk-pnw · Dec 17th, 2007, 01:54 AM

NO just keep quiet and stick your nose somewhere else. You will get into more trouble admitting what you did than she admitting of the alleged affair. Just leave things be and stop interfering in other people's lives, especially your relatives'.

Sunshine · Dec 17th, 2007, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chipmunk-pnw

NO just keep quiet and stick your nose somewhere else. You will get into more trouble admitting what you did than she admitting of the alleged affair. Just leave things be and stop interfering in other people's lives, especially your relatives'.

YES YES YES!!!!!!! Let this happen...if she needs your help she will ask...otherwise its HER business. Cell phone messages are private...as are lives. (family or not)

Bubble Girl · Dec 17th, 2007, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by caxe

My name would be Bennett, and I wouldn't be in it.

My name would be Claire, and I wouldn't care.

My name would be Wes, and I'd be out of the whole mess.

Etc.

I love this!!! I witnessed recently on an overseas trip a man cheating on his fiancee. He flew back home and married her the following week. And as much as I now find it very hard to talk to either of them, I will never involve myself in their business by telling her what I saw. Unfortunately people believe what they want to believe, and do what they want to do. As Caxe's Mom says "What's done in the dark will soon come to light." That will happen eventually.

Syntagma · Dec 17th, 2007, 02:55 AM

Stay out of it!!! The messanger ALWAYS gets shot! Also, I would reccomend not reading text messages that are none of your business so that you won't be put in this position!

Speedy · Dec 17th, 2007, 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Syntagma

Stay out of it!!! The messanger ALWAYS gets shot! Also, I would reccomend not reading text messages that are none of your business so that you won't be put in this position!

I agree 1000% with this one. Not only will you be blamed for whatever happens, but you'll also prove you can't be trusted.

She's going to ruin her own life without your help anyway... he's twice her age!

compulsivepurse · Dec 17th, 2007, 10:48 AM

Do absolutely nothing. Pretend you never saw it. If they're texting his wife will eventually find out about it, I'm sure, and you won't want to be involved when that happens.

cammy1 · Dec 17th, 2007, 11:42 AM

if it wer me I wold not say a thing, but then I dont read peoples phone messages!

IntlSet · Dec 17th, 2007, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshine

YES YES YES!!!!!!! Let this happen...if she needs your help she will ask...otherwise its HER business. Cell phone messages are private...as are lives. (family or not)

Agreed. "Do nothing" would be my advice.

merika · Dec 17th, 2007, 01:05 PM

Nothing.

babypebblezz · Dec 17th, 2007, 02:05 PM

We grew up reading each other's diaries, emails, blogs and bank statements so I don't think she'll be mad at me for reading her messages since she reads mine. Everyone is telling me not to say anything but I know she needs someone to talk to about this. I'm married with a child and I will never want this to ever happen in my marriage so I have to intervene before it's too late. I won't pass any judgements but will just sit and listen to hear what she has to say. Thanks for all your advice and I'll keep you updated.

heartnaspade · Dec 17th, 2007, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by babypebblezz

We grew up reading each other's diaries, emails, blogs and bank statements so I don't think she'll be mad at me for reading her messages since she reads mine. Everyone is telling me not to say anything but I know she needs someone to talk to about this. I'm married with a child and I will never want this to ever happen in my marriage so I have to intervene before it's too late. I won't pass any judgements but will just sit and listen to hear what she has to say. Thanks for all your advice and I'll keep you updated.

What do you mean you have to intervene before it's too late? Isn't it already too late?

Dec 17th, 2007, 12:29 AM	#1
babypebblezz Member Location: NYC	My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do? I was playing with my cousins' cellphone and found secret text messages between her and her co-worker whose married with a 13 year old child. (She's 25 and the guy is 50).I'm so confused right now and extremely mad. Should I confront her?

Dec 17th, 2007, 12:39 AM	#2
heartnaspade Ali Location: back in NYC	Re: My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do? Oh wow...I don't know if I would confront her - why were you reading her text messages to begin with? Obviously what's she's doing is wrong, but getting in the middle of it could cause serious problems in your relationship. You could try discretely asking her if she's seeing anyone or something like that, but if she wanted you involved, she would tell you.

Dec 17th, 2007, 12:41 AM	#3
bagnshoofetish We Love Our Billy	Re: My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do? Why were you reading her private text messages? Be that as it may, now that you know, I would be honest with your cousin and just tell her what you read. In the end, it is her business. I'd let her know I didn't think it was a very cool thing to have an affair with a married man with kids and leave it at that. I would probably also tell her that I would not want any part of it and to never include me in any lies they may be telling because of it. __________________ Please help us: http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...nt-392607.html

Dec 17th, 2007, 12:44 AM	#4
caxe I has ur gif. Location: The Southeast, US	Re: My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do? My name would be Bennett, and I wouldn't be in it. My name would be Claire, and I wouldn't care. My name would be Wes, and I'd be out of the whole mess. Etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay to be mad, depending on your point of view and morals and personal ethics, but I would not confront her if I were you. In fact, I would stay far, far away and say nothing. I'd let karma take care of it. Like my mom always used to say, "What's done in the dark will soon come to light." I'd let my cousin sink or swim but I'd let it be totally her affair. No pun intended. __________________ Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy.

Dec 17th, 2007, 01:54 AM	#5
chipmunk-pnw ^.^ Location: USA	Re: My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do? NO just keep quiet and stick your nose somewhere else. You will get into more trouble admitting what you did than she admitting of the alleged affair. Just leave things be and stop interfering in other people's lives, especially your relatives'.

Dec 17th, 2007, 02:55 AM	#8
Syntagma Member	Re: My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do? Stay out of it!!! The messanger ALWAYS gets shot! Also, I would reccomend not reading text messages that are none of your business so that you won't be put in this position! __________________

Dec 17th, 2007, 10:48 AM	#10
compulsivepurse Member	Re: My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do? Do absolutely nothing. Pretend you never saw it. If they're texting his wife will eventually find out about it, I'm sure, and you won't want to be involved when that happens.

Dec 17th, 2007, 11:42 AM	#11
cammy1 Member	Re: My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do? if it wer me I wold not say a thing, but then I dont read peoples phone messages!

Dec 17th, 2007, 01:05 PM	#13
merika Just me Location: In front of a computer	Re: My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do? Nothing. __________________ I will also gladly authenticate your chocolates for you.

Dec 17th, 2007, 02:05 PM	#14
babypebblezz Member Location: NYC	Re: My closest cousin is having an affair...what should I do? We grew up reading each other's diaries, emails, blogs and bank statements so I don't think she'll be mad at me for reading her messages since she reads mine. Everyone is telling me not to say anything but I know she needs someone to talk to about this. I'm married with a child and I will never want this to ever happen in my marriage so I have to intervene before it's too late. I won't pass any judgements but will just sit and listen to hear what she has to say. Thanks for all your advice and I'll keep you updated.