My brothers heart is about to get broken. And its me who has to do it.

April_Skye · Oct 5th, 2008, 04:35 AM

Okay well first off, thanks for reading. And second, mods please note that fake names have been used.

As you all know, Ive been avoiding contact from my manipulative ex-boyfriend Tim. Well I feel relieved with his absence and havnt been contacting him. So I thought it was weird that I received a bunch of txt msgs from him this afternoon saying;
“I know this may seem random, but can you please tell me if Peter and Amy are still seeing each other?”

Peter is my older brother and he has been seeing Amy for about 2 years. They are partners in crime, forever laughing, kissing & cuddling. If she’s not staying over here in his bedroom, then Peter is at her place. They are thick as thieves.

I regard Amy as the cool big sister Ive never had. She’s always there for me and offered me so much support when I split up with Tim. Amy & I go to concerts together, shop together, msg each other and have a really good friendship. We’re even going to a big party next saturday followed by a concert that we’ve both been excited to go to for months.

I see the way she treats my brother Peter and it makes me smile. It was just yesterday that I said to my friend “I really hope they get married.” I meant that too. Before Amy came along, Peter was dating a girl named Kylie for 4 years. It ended because she called him up one day and admitted to sleeping with another man. Peter was devastated… I’d never seen my brother so crushed. So to see him now with Amy and how lovestruck he is, I couldn’t be happier for him. He’s a wonderful brother, incredibly smart and giving and definatley someone I look up to.

So naturally, I told Tim to go away and that it wasn’t any of his business. He persisted. Msg after msg. He finally said “Look April, Im really so sorry to have to tell you this but if Amy is still seeing Peter, then she has cheated on him.”

At first I didn’t believe him. Because Tim and Amy have ALWAYS disliked each other. They just clash horns and have had the occasional nasty word said to each other. I thought “Maybe Tim is just making up rumours to make things difficult for Amy and Peter.”

Last night, Amy went out to a club with a few of her girlfriends. Amy was here putting on makeup and getting ready in Peter’s bedroom begging me to join her. I was feeling sick last night so I declined.

Tim has told me that last night, Amy got really drunk and was flirting with his older brother Rick. I know Rick well. He is a real smooth-talker and a notorious womaniser. Amy and Rick slept together last night.
Its not just Tim that knows either. Tims other friend, Dan, has also confirmed that this is true.

I don’t know what to do. Amy came over this morning and went straight into Peters room. I thought that was weird of her because she always greets me and hangs with me for a bit. Instead, I sat in my room, in shock, hearing lots of giggling and talking from Peter’s room. He even said “So how was your night sweetie?” and she replied “Great!”

She left about 30minutes ago. I went to the kitchen and saw Peter getting a drink of water. He laughed and said “Ah… shes so funny.” then he went back to his room.

Tim continues to msg me saying “Im really am so sorry April. Peter’s a good guy and Im sorry that its my brother who has done this. But I had to tell you.”

I am in shock… I cant even imagine being in the same room as her now.
I want to say to her “If you don’t tell him, then I will.”

But how on earth do I confront this? Do I tell Peter first and show him Tims txt msgs? Or should I confront Amy first?
And If I do confront Amy, and I say that Tim is the one that told me, Amy will say “Typical Tim! Always trying to make me look bad! Don’t believe him Peter.”

This is so awful… The timing of this is especially bad because Peter and Amy are moving out together in 2 weeks. They’ve just spent the past 5 days buying new appliances and moving furniture into the new house.
And now…. well what now?

Thanks for letting me vent everyone.

Bella · Oct 5th, 2008, 04:43 AM

Wow! This is a tough one, but all I can think of is if I had a brother and he knew this I'd hope he'd tell me. I know people might say to stay out of it, but I'd think I'd feel or least look like a fool for not knowing.

I do think confronting her is a better idea though, he should hear it from her and not you. The way things work, being human, hearing it from you might overshadow what the issue is at hand. Who knows, if it is true and she's honest with your brother they might be able to get past it... and if they do, as much as it will be hard to do, be supportive.

mjlover1977 · Oct 5th, 2008, 04:44 AM

oh man ... hon, i have no idea what you do in this situ but if you end up being the 'messenger' you might get 'shot' ... know what i mean? Can you call her and tell her that you KNOW and she needs to tell or you will ... ?

April_Skye · Oct 5th, 2008, 04:48 AM

Thats what I mean ^^
If I confront her, I risk this being blown out of the water and us having a huge argument.
God.. the concert tickets just arrivedd yesterday... and the party is in a few days...
Poor Peter... he's just in his room, laughing away to a movie, without a clue.

Sternchen · Oct 5th, 2008, 05:06 AM

The only advice I have is to keep your nose out of it! I know it's tough, but you don't know if it's true or not. You have absolutely no proof and you're running the risk of ruining your relationship with Peter and Amy.

twinkle.tink · Oct 5th, 2008, 05:07 AM

Personally, I would still be very skeptical about the sources of the information.

Tim seems like he is up to no good, and he could easily be the one spreading false information....Dan could be an unwilling dupe in the confirmation of a lie...all too often people hear a juicy rumor and spread it, without actual personal knowledge.

Why would Tim be so insistent on getting the information to you...'msg after msg'? It seems he has some motive other than the truth. If it truly happened I would think he would be more like, 'here's what happened...believe or not...but I thought you should know'...why try so hard to convince you? It just doesn't make sense.

I would keep my mouth shut and see if there is any other, more trust worthy sources of information....what about the girls friends...since you almost went I would ask, casually how the night went...who was there...etc...you should be able to tell pretty easily if anyone seems nervous or like they're hiding anything.

Bella · Oct 5th, 2008, 05:17 AM

^I would probably be inclined to feel the same as you ladies, but what makes me look at it differently is it's the exbf's brother that she supposedly slept with. The ex could be up to no good spreading a rumor... but it's his brother. That would make me question it. I might want to talk to my exbf's brother directly before doing anything else.

April_Skye · Oct 5th, 2008, 05:22 AM

Yes its definatley a very risky situation. I must tread with caution.

Im not about to tell Peter right away. Like some of you have suggested, its none of my buisness.
But at the same time, he is my brother and family look out for each other. If the tables were turned (and i had a boyfriend), I would be upset if Peter didnt tell me.

Oh i dont know... Yes, maybe I will casually ask the friends she went out with

simmmchen · Oct 5th, 2008, 05:32 AM

April, this is a difficult situation, but I have to ask you: WHY oh why do you answer your psycho-ex's text messages? Didn't you say in you last thread you were going to IGNORE them no matter what? I guess you should have, because Tim might have stopped writing had you just ignored him. Then you wouldn't know this now and it would put you in a better position. The messenger ALWAYS gets shot in the long run, even if it doesn't seem like it at first. Good luck with this

April_Skye · Oct 5th, 2008, 05:52 AM

^^ simmmchen, I understand your concern and since that last thread on Tim, I havnt contacted him at all.

As you can see from what I wrote earlier in this thread;

"As you all know, Ive been avoiding contact from my manipulative ex-boyfriend Tim. Well I feel relieved with his absence and havnt been contacting him. So I thought it was weird that I received a bunch of txt msgs from him this afternoon saying;
“I know this may seem random, but can you please tell me if Peter and Amy are still seeing each other?”"

The only reason i replied to him was because it had something to do with Amy and Peter, it was not another one of his silly msgs that had to do with him and me.

simmmchen · Oct 5th, 2008, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by April_Skye

The only reason i replied to him was because it had something to do with Amy and Peter, it was not another one of his silly msgs that had to do with him and me.

If you want to look at it that way. I think it was another one of his silly messages, because like you wrote he wrote you several messages (like the psycho/manipulator he is). (Like, why didn't he just get out what he had to say and let you make of it what you want? Why did he have to send you several texts like a stalker?)

You choose to play along. If you EVER want this behavior to stop, you need to stop playing along. IGNORING means IGNORING NO MATTER WHAT, otherwise it won't work. You have to stop giving in!!! Your ex is like a freakin' toddler having tantrum after tantrum to get your attention. That's all I'm going to say about this. Several people have said this to you on here, but it seems like it just doesn't get through to you.

Sorry to be blunt.

Laurie8504 · Oct 5th, 2008, 06:33 AM

I don't know anything about this "ex" of yours, but I think you're sitting on a time-bomb here. I would hate to wait until after they move in together to find out that the story was true. Can you ask any of Amy's friends? Chances are they won't want to rat her out, but maybe you'll at least get some sort of confirmation or denial. I don't think I'd just be able to sit on this, as smart as it may be to keep your nose out of things.

April_Skye · Oct 5th, 2008, 06:51 AM

Oh believe me, i am itching for an answer! And Im not just going to let this one slide.
But finding out is going to take a lot of tact. This is a very sticky situation that needs to be approached with caution... I just wasnt sure if it was right for ME to 'investigate'
Because, lets face it, how awful would it be if I told Peter... and it turned out it wasnt true? Gosh I just dont know what to think... or how to approach her

keya · Oct 5th, 2008, 09:01 AM

If I were you I'd confront her. Maybe not head on, but you could tell her "I heard you met up with Rick last night" or something along those lines, and see if she'll flinch. You'd probably be able to tell from her reaction, and if it's true you should tell her to tell Peter, or you will (in front of her, he should be able to tell if it's true from her reaction as well)

Amberini · Oct 5th, 2008, 09:13 AM

Houston, we have a problem.

I think the best thing you can do in this situation is speak to your brother, don't go around the houses, tell him what Tim told you and that you don't know what to think.

It's pretty obvious you don't want your brother to get hurt, but it's going to hurt more if he finds out later from someone else.

I think if you go straight to Amy she will deny it, so tell your brother. Personally, I wouldn't say "Amy cheated on you", because that just sounds like you are making assumptions and your brother may not believe you. If you've ever been in love you'll know that, but you won't know why. I'd simply say "Tim sent me a really strange text, he said that Amy slept with another guy, I didn't want to tell you because I thought it might be nothing, but I thought I'd let you know what he'd said".

That way you're informing him without subconsciously judging his girlfriend.

You do have to remember though, that it could all be lies, just because more than one person supposedly knows it happened, it doesn't mean it did.

Good luck

Oct 5th, 2008, 04:35 AM	#1
April_Skye we CAN have it all Location: over there..... and down a bit	My brothers heart is about to get broken. And its me who has to do it. Okay well first off, thanks for reading. And second, mods please note that fake names have been used. As you all know, Ive been avoiding contact from my manipulative ex-boyfriend Tim. Well I feel relieved with his absence and havnt been contacting him. So I thought it was weird that I received a bunch of txt msgs from him this afternoon saying; “I know this may seem random, but can you please tell me if Peter and Amy are still seeing each other?” Peter is my older brother and he has been seeing Amy for about 2 years. They are partners in crime, forever laughing, kissing & cuddling. If she’s not staying over here in his bedroom, then Peter is at her place. They are thick as thieves. I regard Amy as the cool big sister Ive never had. She’s always there for me and offered me so much support when I split up with Tim. Amy & I go to concerts together, shop together, msg each other and have a really good friendship. We’re even going to a big party next saturday followed by a concert that we’ve both been excited to go to for months. I see the way she treats my brother Peter and it makes me smile. It was just yesterday that I said to my friend “I really hope they get married.” I meant that too. Before Amy came along, Peter was dating a girl named Kylie for 4 years. It ended because she called him up one day and admitted to sleeping with another man. Peter was devastated… I’d never seen my brother so crushed. So to see him now with Amy and how lovestruck he is, I couldn’t be happier for him. He’s a wonderful brother, incredibly smart and giving and definatley someone I look up to. So naturally, I told Tim to go away and that it wasn’t any of his business. He persisted. Msg after msg. He finally said “Look April, Im really so sorry to have to tell you this but if Amy is still seeing Peter, then she has cheated on him.” At first I didn’t believe him. Because Tim and Amy have ALWAYS disliked each other. They just clash horns and have had the occasional nasty word said to each other. I thought “Maybe Tim is just making up rumours to make things difficult for Amy and Peter.” Last night, Amy went out to a club with a few of her girlfriends. Amy was here putting on makeup and getting ready in Peter’s bedroom begging me to join her. I was feeling sick last night so I declined. Tim has told me that last night, Amy got really drunk and was flirting with his older brother Rick. I know Rick well. He is a real smooth-talker and a notorious womaniser. Amy and Rick slept together last night. Its not just Tim that knows either. Tims other friend, Dan, has also confirmed that this is true. I don’t know what to do. Amy came over this morning and went straight into Peters room. I thought that was weird of her because she always greets me and hangs with me for a bit. Instead, I sat in my room, in shock, hearing lots of giggling and talking from Peter’s room. He even said “So how was your night sweetie?” and she replied “Great!” She left about 30minutes ago. I went to the kitchen and saw Peter getting a drink of water. He laughed and said “Ah… shes so funny.” then he went back to his room. Tim continues to msg me saying “Im really am so sorry April. Peter’s a good guy and Im sorry that its my brother who has done this. But I had to tell you.” I am in shock… I cant even imagine being in the same room as her now. I want to say to her “If you don’t tell him, then I will.” But how on earth do I confront this? Do I tell Peter first and show him Tims txt msgs? Or should I confront Amy first? And If I do confront Amy, and I say that Tim is the one that told me, Amy will say “Typical Tim! Always trying to make me look bad! Don’t believe him Peter.” This is so awful… The timing of this is especially bad because Peter and Amy are moving out together in 2 weeks. They’ve just spent the past 5 days buying new appliances and moving furniture into the new house. And now…. well what now? Thanks for letting me vent everyone. __________________ Live Now. Kill The Boredom

Oct 5th, 2008, 04:43 AM	#2
Bella just Bella	Wow! This is a tough one, but all I can think of is if I had a brother and he knew this I'd hope he'd tell me. I know people might say to stay out of it, but I'd think I'd feel or least look like a fool for not knowing. I do think confronting her is a better idea though, he should hear it from her and not you. The way things work, being human, hearing it from you might overshadow what the issue is at hand. Who knows, if it is true and she's honest with your brother they might be able to get past it... and if they do, as much as it will be hard to do, be supportive. __________________ Last edited by Bella; Oct 5th, 2008 at 04:47 AM.

Oct 5th, 2008, 04:44 AM	#3
mjlover1977 happily in love Location: Sydney, Australia	oh man ... hon, i have no idea what you do in this situ but if you end up being the 'messenger' you might get 'shot' ... know what i mean? Can you call her and tell her that you KNOW and she needs to tell or you will ... ? __________________ my lil bag collection chloe silver silverado LV mono speedy 25 Balenciaga ink shoulder LV Amarante large cles Chloe tan paddington Chanel black mini flap Chanel black lamskin east west Balenciaga black GSH day Prada dark brown cervo lux medium tote miu miu metallic purple small matelasse MBMJ midnight terri Marc Jacobs black quilted banana hobo Marc Jacobs black icey little stam

Oct 5th, 2008, 04:48 AM	#4
April_Skye we CAN have it all Location: over there..... and down a bit	Thats what I mean ^^ If I confront her, I risk this being blown out of the water and us having a huge argument. God.. the concert tickets just arrivedd yesterday... and the party is in a few days... Poor Peter... he's just in his room, laughing away to a movie, without a clue. __________________ Live Now. Kill The Boredom

Oct 5th, 2008, 05:06 AM	#5
Sternchen We're having a boy!! Location: Beauty RAOK	The only advice I have is to keep your nose out of it! I know it's tough, but you don't know if it's true or not. You have absolutely no proof and you're running the risk of ruining your relationship with Peter and Amy. __________________ My 2 wonderful girls, Nicole (5) and Julia (1) will be big sisters soon! My pregnancy blog

Oct 5th, 2008, 05:07 AM	#6
twinkle.tink Pixie Duster Location: Just call me Tink ;)	Personally, I would still be very skeptical about the sources of the information. Tim seems like he is up to no good, and he could easily be the one spreading false information....Dan could be an unwilling dupe in the confirmation of a lie...all too often people hear a juicy rumor and spread it, without actual personal knowledge. Why would Tim be so insistent on getting the information to you...'msg after msg'? It seems he has some motive other than the truth. If it truly happened I would think he would be more like, 'here's what happened...believe or not...but I thought you should know'...why try so hard to convince you? It just doesn't make sense. I would keep my mouth shut and see if there is any other, more trust worthy sources of information....what about the girls friends...since you almost went I would ask, casually how the night went...who was there...etc...you should be able to tell pretty easily if anyone seems nervous or like they're hiding anything. __________________

Oct 5th, 2008, 05:17 AM	#7
Bella just Bella	^I would probably be inclined to feel the same as you ladies, but what makes me look at it differently is it's the exbf's brother that she supposedly slept with. The ex could be up to no good spreading a rumor... but it's his brother. That would make me question it. I might want to talk to my exbf's brother directly before doing anything else. __________________

Oct 5th, 2008, 05:22 AM	#8
April_Skye we CAN have it all Location: over there..... and down a bit	Yes its definatley a very risky situation. I must tread with caution. Im not about to tell Peter right away. Like some of you have suggested, its none of my buisness. But at the same time, he is my brother and family look out for each other. If the tables were turned (and i had a boyfriend), I would be upset if Peter didnt tell me. Oh i dont know... Yes, maybe I will casually ask the friends she went out with __________________ Live Now. Kill The Boredom

Oct 5th, 2008, 05:32 AM	#9
simmmchen Member Location: Germany	April, this is a difficult situation, but I have to ask you: WHY oh why do you answer your psycho-ex's text messages? Didn't you say in you last thread you were going to IGNORE them no matter what? I guess you should have, because Tim might have stopped writing had you just ignored him. Then you wouldn't know this now and it would put you in a better position. The messenger ALWAYS gets shot in the long run, even if it doesn't seem like it at first. Good luck with this __________________

Oct 5th, 2008, 05:52 AM	#10
April_Skye we CAN have it all Location: over there..... and down a bit	^^ simmmchen, I understand your concern and since that last thread on Tim, I havnt contacted him at all. As you can see from what I wrote earlier in this thread; "As you all know, Ive been avoiding contact from my manipulative ex-boyfriend Tim. Well I feel relieved with his absence and havnt been contacting him. So I thought it was weird that I received a bunch of txt msgs from him this afternoon saying; “I know this may seem random, but can you please tell me if Peter and Amy are still seeing each other?”" The only reason i replied to him was because it had something to do with Amy and Peter, it was not another one of his silly msgs that had to do with him and me. __________________ Live Now. Kill The Boredom

Oct 5th, 2008, 06:33 AM	#12
Laurie8504 chocolate...where? Location: Italy	I don't know anything about this "ex" of yours, but I think you're sitting on a time-bomb here. I would hate to wait until after they move in together to find out that the story was true. Can you ask any of Amy's friends? Chances are they won't want to rat her out, but maybe you'll at least get some sort of confirmation or denial. I don't think I'd just be able to sit on this, as smart as it may be to keep your nose out of things. __________________ flickr

Oct 5th, 2008, 06:51 AM	#13
April_Skye we CAN have it all Location: over there..... and down a bit	Oh believe me, i am itching for an answer! And Im not just going to let this one slide. But finding out is going to take a lot of tact. This is a very sticky situation that needs to be approached with caution... I just wasnt sure if it was right for ME to 'investigate' Because, lets face it, how awful would it be if I told Peter... and it turned out it wasnt true? Gosh I just dont know what to think... or how to approach her __________________ Live Now. Kill The Boredom

Oct 5th, 2008, 09:01 AM	#14
keya Member	If I were you I'd confront her. Maybe not head on, but you could tell her "I heard you met up with Rick last night" or something along those lines, and see if she'll flinch. You'd probably be able to tell from her reaction, and if it's true you should tell her to tell Peter, or you will (in front of her, he should be able to tell if it's true from her reaction as well) __________________ No more shoes for me this year. Checking in to CCLO as of right now

Oct 5th, 2008, 09:13 AM	#15
Amberini Amberini Bellini Location: UK	Houston, we have a problem. I think the best thing you can do in this situation is speak to your brother, don't go around the houses, tell him what Tim told you and that you don't know what to think. It's pretty obvious you don't want your brother to get hurt, but it's going to hurt more if he finds out later from someone else. I think if you go straight to Amy she will deny it, so tell your brother. Personally, I wouldn't say "Amy cheated on you", because that just sounds like you are making assumptions and your brother may not believe you. If you've ever been in love you'll know that, but you won't know why. I'd simply say "Tim sent me a really strange text, he said that Amy slept with another guy, I didn't want to tell you because I thought it might be nothing, but I thought I'd let you know what he'd said". That way you're informing him without subconsciously judging his girlfriend. You do have to remember though, that it could all be lies, just because more than one person supposedly knows it happened, it doesn't mean it did. Good luck __________________ Well, at least he's taking care of things...