My brothers heart is about to get broken. And its me who has to do it.

BagLadie · Oct 5th, 2008, 10:19 AM

Talk to Amy yourself.....as a friend...non accusational so she isn't on the defense. Then go from there. Never believe a third party until you get the facts straight. Unless Tim actually saw them sleeping together you have absolutely no idea what went on.

moi et mes sacs · Oct 5th, 2008, 10:28 AM

I have no idea what to do...I would be lost, sorry you have this to deal with. I would be inclinned to ask her in the best possible way, say you heard a rumour but that it may be just a rumour and see how she reacts. I would decide from there what to do next.

April_Skye · Oct 5th, 2008, 10:40 AM

Thanks everyone. Ive taken everyones advice on board and its given me alot to consider my approach. Oh dear what an awquard situation...
I'll keep you all posted
thanks so much
xx

lolitakali · Oct 5th, 2008, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BagLadie

Talk to Amy yourself.....as a friend...non accusational so she isn't on the defense. Then go from there. Never believe a third party until you get the facts straight. Unless Tim actually saw them sleeping together you have absolutely no idea what went on.

^^^ great advice!

If you talk to Amy.... if she did not do it, show your support as a friend to dispel rumors. BUT if she did it, you should give support to your own brother... at least I would in your situation (blood is thicker than water).

Never believe a third party unless there is an actual visual evidence provided by you. I would not believe Tim & his brother (since they are in it together). If you know Tim is manipulative, it could be a trap set up by him to destroy you, your brother & Amy after-all.

One cannot be too careful (especially with the existence of ruffies & date rape drugs as well to drug people into oblivion then raping them)!!!

wordpast · Oct 5th, 2008, 12:08 PM

My brother? I'm telling. Wouldn't think twice about it. I would say this is the rumor I heard, I'm not sure if it's true and that you should consider the source but I just wanted to let him know.

SpoilMeRotten · Oct 5th, 2008, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amberini

I think the best thing you can do in this situation is speak to your brother, don't go around the houses, tell him what Tim told you and that you don't know what to think.

It's pretty obvious you don't want your brother to get hurt, but it's going to hurt more if he finds out later from someone else.

I think if you go straight to Amy she will deny it, so tell your brother. Personally, I wouldn't say "Amy cheated on you", because that just sounds like you are making assumptions and your brother may not believe you. If you've ever been in love you'll know that, but you won't know why. I'd simply say "Tim sent me a really strange text, he said that Amy slept with another guy, I didn't want to tell you because I thought it might be nothing, but I thought I'd let you know what he'd said".

That way you're informing him without subconsciously judging his girlfriend.

You do have to remember though, that it could all be lies, just because more than one person supposedly knows it happened, it doesn't mean it did.

Good luck

^^ great advice! Just show the text messages to your brother, let him take it from there. I don't think there's any point in talking to the girl, if it's true I don't see why she would admit to it to you, his sister! Good luck!

SPOILEDkiwi · Oct 5th, 2008, 01:52 PM

I would confront Amy first. You said you guys are friends, so it shouldn't be too hard. Tell her you heard some rumors but don't say who told you. You should be able to tell by her reaction if she's lying. Don't go to your brother first. It will only hurt him, and if this turns out to be a lie, he still may never trust her again and may become nervous every time she hangs out with Rick. I think talking to Amy first will cause the least amount of drama. If you think she really did cheat on him, then tell her that she has to tell your brother or you will. Let them work out the issue, try to be involved as little as possible. Also, if you go to your brother first and this whole thing is one big lie, your relationship with Amy will never be the same again because she'll feel betrayed by you.

My SO's sister and I are friends and if she heard a rumor about me I would hope she would come to me first. It would save my SO unnecessary hurt and wondering how I could do that to him, even if it's just for a short time until I tell him it's not true.

bagnshoofetish · Oct 5th, 2008, 02:14 PM

I wouldn't trust your psycho ex as far as I could throw him. Why do you?
I would go straight to Amy and tell her what Tim told you. If he's lying then its up to her to kick his ass. But I would under no circumstances tell your brother. Its only heresay and from a lowlife, psycho ex bf who has an addiction problem. There is a saying about addicts, "how do you know when an addict is lying? his lips are moving." It sounds to me like this bonehead is just trying to start trouble. Since it is Amy that is being slandered here, you need to tell her and let her handle it. If its true, then it will be her responsibility to deal with it. I know you care about your brother but if you do not want to be seen as a nosy busy body, then you need to stay out of his affairs with his gf. They are grown ups. They will deal with whatever they need to deal with.

Amberini · Oct 5th, 2008, 04:14 PM

bagnshoo got a point!

Don't hurt your brother unecessarily. Tim want a kick in his crown jewels and there is no proof.

Really though, if you don't want to get yourself into trouble, do what I said originally go to your brother first then stay the hell away from the situation.

Amy may try to drive a wedge between you and your brother saying that you're jealous and trying to split them up - that is if she did cheat.

It's not really your problem so don't talk to the girl. I think your brother will be hurt more if you go to her before him. If I was the last to find out my SO had cheated, especially if my sibling knew about it before hand. I would be livid to say the least.

Charles · Oct 5th, 2008, 04:39 PM

Def confront Amy first. Don't be accusatory, just come at it like you want to prove Tim wrong. Judge her reactions. If you truly think she cheated, then tell her that either she tells your bro, or you will.
IS there anyway you can confirm from a less biased party??

illinirdhd · Oct 5th, 2008, 05:14 PM

I'm with Shoo and Simmchen. Why in the world do you let Tim continue to manipulate you? CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

ShelleyBaby · Oct 5th, 2008, 06:04 PM

This Tim isn't to be trusted, therefore you have no REAL proof.

sweetdreamer16 · Oct 5th, 2008, 07:39 PM

omg i have no clue what i would do in your situation, i think you should let amy know that you know and ask her what she is going to do with it, before you talk to your brother!
all the best!

BTBF · Oct 5th, 2008, 07:46 PM

Ask Amy and Tim to meet you at a certain place, don't let either of them know. Then confront it right there.

Megs · Oct 5th, 2008, 07:58 PM

Without knowing for 100% certain, that makes it sticky.

I would confront Amy first... see how she reacts, and then go from there.

But honestly, it is family - I would always protect my family, even if it hurts them. But you have to be careful if by any chance you are wrong.. well Tim is wrong...

Oct 5th, 2008, 10:19 AM	#16
BagLadie Got a handle on it Location: Red Sox Nation	Talk to Amy yourself.....as a friend...non accusational so she isn't on the defense. Then go from there. Never believe a third party until you get the facts straight. Unless Tim actually saw them sleeping together you have absolutely no idea what went on. __________________ One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Oct 5th, 2008, 10:28 AM	#17
moi et mes sacs Science Geek!	I have no idea what to do...I would be lost, sorry you have this to deal with. I would be inclinned to ask her in the best possible way, say you heard a rumour but that it may be just a rumour and see how she reacts. I would decide from there what to do next. __________________ If you never change your mind, why have one? Edward de Bono

Oct 5th, 2008, 10:40 AM	#18
April_Skye we CAN have it all Location: over there..... and down a bit	Thanks everyone. Ive taken everyones advice on board and its given me alot to consider my approach. Oh dear what an awquard situation... I'll keep you all posted thanks so much xx __________________ Live Now. Kill The Boredom

Oct 5th, 2008, 12:08 PM	#20
wordpast Member Location: Never Never Land	My brother? I'm telling. Wouldn't think twice about it. I would say this is the rumor I heard, I'm not sure if it's true and that you should consider the source but I just wanted to let him know. __________________

Oct 5th, 2008, 01:52 PM	#22
SPOILEDkiwi not a kiwi! Location: NYC/Long Island	I would confront Amy first. You said you guys are friends, so it shouldn't be too hard. Tell her you heard some rumors but don't say who told you. You should be able to tell by her reaction if she's lying. Don't go to your brother first. It will only hurt him, and if this turns out to be a lie, he still may never trust her again and may become nervous every time she hangs out with Rick. I think talking to Amy first will cause the least amount of drama. If you think she really did cheat on him, then tell her that she has to tell your brother or you will. Let them work out the issue, try to be involved as little as possible. Also, if you go to your brother first and this whole thing is one big lie, your relationship with Amy will never be the same again because she'll feel betrayed by you. My SO's sister and I are friends and if she heard a rumor about me I would hope she would come to me first. It would save my SO unnecessary hurt and wondering how I could do that to him, even if it's just for a short time until I tell him it's not true. __________________ “It is the unseen, unforgettable, ultimate accessory of fashion that heralds your arrival and prolongs your departure.” --Coco Chanel

Oct 5th, 2008, 02:14 PM	#23
bagnshoofetish We Love Our Billy	I wouldn't trust your psycho ex as far as I could throw him. Why do you? I would go straight to Amy and tell her what Tim told you. If he's lying then its up to her to kick his ass. But I would under no circumstances tell your brother. Its only heresay and from a lowlife, psycho ex bf who has an addiction problem. There is a saying about addicts, "how do you know when an addict is lying? his lips are moving." It sounds to me like this bonehead is just trying to start trouble. Since it is Amy that is being slandered here, you need to tell her and let her handle it. If its true, then it will be her responsibility to deal with it. I know you care about your brother but if you do not want to be seen as a nosy busy body, then you need to stay out of his affairs with his gf. They are grown ups. They will deal with whatever they need to deal with. __________________ Please help us: http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...nt-392607.html

Oct 5th, 2008, 04:14 PM	#24
Amberini Amberini Bellini Location: UK	bagnshoo got a point! Don't hurt your brother unecessarily. Tim want a kick in his crown jewels and there is no proof. Really though, if you don't want to get yourself into trouble, do what I said originally go to your brother first then stay the hell away from the situation. Amy may try to drive a wedge between you and your brother saying that you're jealous and trying to split them up - that is if she did cheat. It's not really your problem so don't talk to the girl. I think your brother will be hurt more if you go to her before him. If I was the last to find out my SO had cheated, especially if my sibling knew about it before hand. I would be livid to say the least. __________________ Well, at least he's taking care of things...

Oct 5th, 2008, 04:39 PM	#25
Charles Sucks at budgeting Location: Jacksonville, Fl	Def confront Amy first. Don't be accusatory, just come at it like you want to prove Tim wrong. Judge her reactions. If you truly think she cheated, then tell her that either she tells your bro, or you will. IS there anyway you can confirm from a less biased party??

Oct 5th, 2008, 05:14 PM	#26
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Location: Las Vegas, NV	I'm with Shoo and Simmchen. Why in the world do you let Tim continue to manipulate you? CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER TODAY!!!!!!!!!! __________________

Oct 5th, 2008, 06:04 PM	#27
ShelleyBaby Member Location: Scotland	This Tim isn't to be trusted, therefore you have no REAL proof.

Oct 5th, 2008, 07:39 PM	#28
sweetdreamer16 Member Location: Vancouver	omg i have no clue what i would do in your situation, i think you should let amy know that you know and ask her what she is going to do with it, before you talk to your brother! all the best! __________________ Visit my blog, for featured amazing giveaways!! Updated daily!! http://thegiveawaydiva.blogspot.com/

Oct 5th, 2008, 07:46 PM	#29
BTBF Member	Ask Amy and Tim to meet you at a certain place, don't let either of them know. Then confront it right there.

Oct 5th, 2008, 07:58 PM	#30
Megs	Without knowing for 100% certain, that makes it sticky. I would confront Amy first... see how she reacts, and then go from there. But honestly, it is family - I would always protect my family, even if it hurts them. But you have to be careful if by any chance you are wrong.. well Tim is wrong... __________________ Enter our fabulous November giveaway sponsored by Adriana Castro!!!! Check out our latest press, Purse Blog in the Miami Herald!