[nsynchic20]

Please tell me if I am overreacting. I've posted about her before, she's the one who DEMANDS that my boyfriend take her to prom, with no regards to ME or my feelings.
Well last night they are texting each other, and then he wakes up this morning and he has 4 more texts from her from last night (he stopped checking his phone) and she starts talking about her "perfict" guy (her spelling).
"My perfict guy would be cute smart nice funny, be able to bring places without being embarised, good dancer and amazing = you :) oh yeah and good in bed hahaha. that has to be on my list to"



I've never met the girl, but you think another female would have more respect for a guy's girlfriend! He claims she's a flirt, but so am I and I would NEVER say something like that to a guy who's taken, a friend or not that is CROSSING THE LINE.
I feel like this girl needs a talking to. She's a spoiled 18 year old high schooler brat, and I want my boyfriend to tell her she needs to back the eff off, but I'm afraid that will just make me look like a controlling, insecure girlfriend.

Maybe I am overreacting, but something needs to be done about this.
Any advice?

[toiletduck]

I think she's crossed the line! Tell your boyfriend CALMLY how you feel about this girl. Don't start crying or throw a fit. Act mature and calm. Hopefully he'll see things your way and side with you like he should!

[merde111]

That is crossing the line, in my opinion--I agree with toiletduck. He needs to shut her down and let her know he's taken and she should back off!

[aklein]

Just curious ... how did you happen to see this text?

And yes it is completely over the line. However, some people have no respect for other's relationships. It's sad, but true.

[nsynchic20]

Originally Posted by aklein

Just curious ... how did you happen to see this text?

And yes it is completely over the line. However, some people have no respect for other's relationships. It's sad, but true.

He showed it to me. Don't worry I wasn't snooping

I was very upset when I first read the text so I was cussing a little and not exactly yelling but you know. He keeps going back to the fact that she's a flirt, but that is no excuse for someone to disrespect a fellow female and a girlfriend of the guy 3 times (this time, when she demanded he take her to prom, and when she demanded he take her to homecoming and LIE to me and say he was going elsewhere)

[Speedy]

She may be a flirt, but your BF is encouraging it as well. He needs to tell her to knock it off and act her age. (She's 18? And can't spell "perfect"? Ouch)

If I were you, I would also tell him calmly not to show you this stuff anymore. Tell him you do not find it amusing at all and you wish he'd take care of this annoyance soon. It's obviously weighing heavily on your mind, I remember the other thread about demanding he take her to the Prom.

Someone needs to start telling her "no" and your BF is the best one to do it.

[gillianna]

He seems to have no problem with her going after him and making the moves and talking the trash talk. He is the one with the problem for letting it go on as long as it had. I think he loves the attention.

[miSsxhuStLer]

Yes, what she is doing is disrespectful. However, the fact that your BF allows it to continue is even more disrespectful. She's single and has nothing to lose. He's the one in the relationship, so he should be the one setting the boundaries.

Out of curiosity, have you seen the texts he sends back to her? Either she's completely clueless and can't get a hint or like Speedy said, your BF is encouraging her behavior.

[nsynchic20]

Originally Posted by miSsxhuStLer

Yes, what she is doing is disrespectful. However, the fact that your BF allows it to continue is even more disrespectful. She's single and has nothing to lose. He's the one in the relationship, so he should be the one setting the boundaries.

Out of curiosity, have you seen the texts he sends back to her? Either she's completely clueless and can't get a hint or like Speedy said, your BF is encouraging her behavior.

Thanks everyone for your advice. He went to work so I am going to talk to him about it when he gets home because I have calmed down a lot. He hasn't said anything back to her (and this specific text was in the middle of a series of texts she sent him last night after he went to bed). When he gets home I will ask if he said anything back to her, and then I will calmly talk to him about it.

I know that getting attention feels good sometimes (I LOVED it from all the guys when I was single!) but my boyfriend is taken and he doesn't need any attention like that from other girls (being friends with them is obviously fine, but you know what I mean).

[wordpast]

I don't care about her being a flirt, your BF needs to let her know that her behavior is unacceptable. I don't mind my Bf having friends that are girls, but this is crossing the line of 'friendly' behavior and I wouldnt put up with it.

[Cristina]

"Inappropriate" and "disrespectful" come to mind when you describe the "relationship" between your boyfriend and this person.

I'd first try to avoid the Jerry Springer route of confronting her. Explain how you feel to your boyfriend, and ask that he take care of the situation. The fact that he has let this go on is disturbing, IMO.

If he doesn't do anything about it, or if she continues to send these types of messages even if he has spoken with her, then it's time for more drastic measures

[eviemarie]

I am not normaly on here but have to reply!!

She is a total bitch in my opinion as i think you should never go after somebody else's chap its just wrong! Girls should respect each other as much as girls should respect boys visa versa. However your BF should be telling her to do one and stop texting him cause he has a beautiful girlfriend already. How rude are they both!!!!!I am not as calm as you i would have phoned her up and let rip. This is not the wise thing to do though!

Stay calm at least he isn't hiding it from you.

[illinirdhd]

Originally Posted by miSsxhuStLer

Yes, what she is doing is disrespectful. However, the fact that your BF allows it to continue is even more disrespectful. She's single and has nothing to lose. He's the one in the relationship, so he should be the one setting the boundaries.

Out of curiosity, have you seen the texts he sends back to her? Either she's completely clueless and can't get a hint or like Speedy said, your BF is encouraging her behavior.

I agree. Just know that if you try to force him to react to this in a certain way, it could backfire. You might just be pushing him toward her, instead of away from her. Hopefully he's a great guy who will realize that this girl is way out of line and he will deal with it appropriately. Chances are, he realized it today after he left for work. Wait and see what he does.

I don't think a calm, well thought out conversation with him tonight will hurt - just explain how you feel and hope he will make things right. Don't whine and cry and demand - just speak with him. If he doesn't deal with it and make it stop, then I think you should re-evaluate your relationship overall. I wouldn't stay with a guy who let his friend interfere in our relationship.

He probably knows she's just a childish pain in the butt, but that doesn't mean he can't tell her in no uncertain terms that she is NOT to contact him. If she's doing this stuff just to tick you off or to try to come between you (I'd bet she is), then she's not a friend worth having. He'll either realize that or he won't. If he keeps allowing this stuff, and starts hiding it from you, then you really need to think about what that means.

Regardless, please take care of YOU. There's no need for you to have to be hurt over stuff like this.

[Maryanne007]

Yes definitely have a talk with him! I would actually be kind of mad at him... because he should have made it clear to her that he is with you, and if he did that, I doubt she would still be texting the way she does. He obviously has to feed into it a little. I don't know, I think his ego is getting way too much stroking at your expense.

[aliciamarie]

I think the problem here is less about the friend and more about your boyfriend. I know that if one of my guy friends ever disrespected my SO or my relationship with my SO or crossed the line - even ONCE - I would not continue to be that person's friend. Period. No excuses. This isn't the first time she has been a problem, and honestly, he should have taken care of it the first time it happened - either by asking her to change her behavior or by distancing himself from her. While he may not be saying inappropriate things back to her, just letting it happen is enough encouragement -- she isn't going to stop unless he asks her to.

Why would she even mention being good in bed when obviously referring to your boyfriend? Have they slept together? That is what bothers me most about her text.

He needs to take care of it ASAP. He's just fueling the fire by letting it continue, IMO.