My best friend and my Ex?

nickkyvintage · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:02 PM

I really don't know who to talk to right now.

My best friend and i have been mates for about 9 years. She was allways trying to warn me off of my last BF - who was a total loser.

well i went to the cinema tonight with a few friends and a prospective new date. We all sat down, and i get a tap on the shoulder from behind me.

Its Her, and Him. Together. I have no problem with him seeing new people, but why my best friend? and why didn't she just tell me?

I am devestated and don't know who to turn to. She was the one thing in this world that kept me sane and now i feel like she has turned her back on me.

I don't know what to do. Im just sat here crying hoping it was all a horrible dream or somthing. I want to talk to her so badly but i don't want to call her incase i get really mad.

what would you do?

samoXenina · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:08 PM

if that was me i would lose that friend...because i don't think thats what a best friend is...

VPT · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:11 PM

Drop her as a friend. Don't contact her anymore, just drop her like a deadweight.
Pick your own friends, doesn't mean you will keep them forever. Sorry this happened to you, all the while little did you realize she was using you. Such friends are not good to have around because you never know when they have an ulterior motive.

I select who I want to be friends with, and if my best friend has an eye on my guy or my ex, she will tell me upright, but she will never ever do what your friend did by convincing you to let go of him so she can have him. Ewwww

that's so low class.

nickkyvintage · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:11 PM

another thing that hurts so much is that she lied to me. I asked her to come out tonight with us and she told me she was traveling back to London. but she was there with him. I feel so stupid.

rendodan110 · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:11 PM

she may have wanted him all along and that is why she was trying to get you away from him. lose her forget him! move on!

nickkyvintage · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:13 PM

i am so upset. This girl is the world to me, i would do anything for her. We're moving in together in a few months and its all sorted. I just don't know what to do.

Cristina · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:15 PM

Lose both of them.

Like VPT said, quit contacting her. If she's smart, she'll get the picture.

ETA - I just saw your post about moving in with her. Don't. If you're harboring these feelings now, and she and your ex-boyfriend are actually dating or do end up dating, you'll resent her and the roommate situation will end up going to hell in a handbasket.

VPT · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:17 PM

Now you know her true colors. It's natural to feel upset about losing a friend but this is what you HAVE to do, please do yourself a huge favor, don't be her friend anymore! Many of us get tricked by people, best friends or otherwise, don't feel so bad, stuff like this is bound to happen.

Do you have a second best friend you can relate to? Preferably someone who doesn't know her or doesn't like her? Hang out with that friend for a while, maybe if you're alert and careful, she might get upgraded to your new best friend!

nickkyvintage · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:21 PM

thank you ladies :)

It's weird but i don't have anybody else to talk to at all other than my mother. My best friend is my whole world and i just feel like tonight my world ended.

winterpearls3 · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:22 PM

did you ask her why they hooked up? what happened? i would. maybe she has some kind of explanation or they're just friends.

xoxomandylyn · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:24 PM

Never talk to her again. She not only swiped your ex, which is just rude, ESPECIALLY after claiming that you shouldn't be with him... but come on, she LIED? THAT is messed up. She's the loser. Apparently, they are perfect for each other, huh?

dusty paws · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:25 PM

has she tried to contact you or offer you an explanation? (not that you necessarily want to hear one..)

I'm sorry she did this to you. I really hope that you think twice about moving in with her. Hugs to you.

Sez · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:30 PM

I am so sorry this happened to you. Being betrayed by a close friend is just awful. Do you have another friend, or a family member who can be there for you? I know when this sort of thing happens it is hard to know who you can or can't trust. I would always trust my brother.

[That's not to say I don't trust my best friend, but she's overseas now, so we can't always be there for each other in the same way.]

kbell · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickkyvintage

another thing that hurts so much is that she lied to me. I asked her to come out tonight with us and she told me she was traveling back to London. but she was there with him. I feel so stupid.

She is the one who should feel ashamed & stupid not you. She lied not you.

It's a horrible sinking feeling. In college, my room mate & one of my supposed best friends went with my X immediately after (maybe even b4 who knows...we were exclusive for a yr & 1/2) While I tried my hardest to remain friends with her & him and be happy for them - I just couldn't do it. The feelings of betrayal & distrust & just plain hurt overpowered the warm fuzzy friendship feelings and I just couldn't fake it. I'm so sorry this is happening to you & hope you feel better soon.

nickkyvintage · Jul 1st, 2008, 06:39 PM

its times like this that i hate facebook

he has an album called "nearest and dearest" and theres 3 pictures, one of which is her. Why does he have to take her from me.

I've spoken to her on the phone and she is really sorry about it all. I know that he is behind this because he is so manipulative and i would forgive her naiveity (sp?) in a split second. She is not the guilty one.

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:02 PM	#1
nickkyvintage Bag Pervert! Location: UK	My best friend and my Ex? I really don't know who to talk to right now. My best friend and i have been mates for about 9 years. She was allways trying to warn me off of my last BF - who was a total loser. well i went to the cinema tonight with a few friends and a prospective new date. We all sat down, and i get a tap on the shoulder from behind me. Its Her, and Him. Together. I have no problem with him seeing new people, but why my best friend? and why didn't she just tell me? I am devestated and don't know who to turn to. She was the one thing in this world that kept me sane and now i feel like she has turned her back on me. I don't know what to do. Im just sat here crying hoping it was all a horrible dream or somthing. I want to talk to her so badly but i don't want to call her incase i get really mad. what would you do? __________________ Welcome to Ban-City...Population 1...

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:08 PM	#2
samoXenina New Addiction Location: Missouri	if that was me i would lose that friend...because i don't think thats what a best friend is... __________________ My Ity Bity Collection Neverfull mm -newest member Multiolore Bandeau Noire-newest member Mono Speedy 30 Mono Pochette Accessories Mono Popincourt Long Damier pm agenda My Wishlist Abbesses Messenger Mono or Damier Cles Damier Speedy 30 Wallet-which one unkown? ;/

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:11 PM	#3
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Location: Singapore / Vancouver	Drop her as a friend. Don't contact her anymore, just drop her like a deadweight. Pick your own friends, doesn't mean you will keep them forever. Sorry this happened to you, all the while little did you realize she was using you. Such friends are not good to have around because you never know when they have an ulterior motive. I select who I want to be friends with, and if my best friend has an eye on my guy or my ex, she will tell me upright, but she will never ever do what your friend did by convincing you to let go of him so she can have him. Ewwww that's so low class. __________________

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:11 PM	#4
nickkyvintage Bag Pervert! Location: UK	another thing that hurts so much is that she lied to me. I asked her to come out tonight with us and she told me she was traveling back to London. but she was there with him. I feel so stupid. __________________ Welcome to Ban-City...Population 1...

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:11 PM	#5
rendodan110 Danielle Location: Northern Colorado	she may have wanted him all along and that is why she was trying to get you away from him. lose her forget him! move on! __________________ my wishlist violates signature size regulations. add me on myspace.http://www.myspace.com/danielle1972 "Men have forgotten this truth," "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.-Antoine de Saint-Exupery The Little Prince

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:13 PM	#6
nickkyvintage Bag Pervert! Location: UK	i am so upset. This girl is the world to me, i would do anything for her. We're moving in together in a few months and its all sorted. I just don't know what to do. __________________ Welcome to Ban-City...Population 1...

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:15 PM	#7
Cristina Location: South Florida	Lose both of them. Like VPT said, quit contacting her. If she's smart, she'll get the picture. ETA - I just saw your post about moving in with her. Don't. If you're harboring these feelings now, and she and your ex-boyfriend are actually dating or do end up dating, you'll resent her and the roommate situation will end up going to hell in a handbasket. __________________ it's nothing i'll forget when the moon gets tired you are stuck to me everyday believe in what i am because it's all i have today and tomorrow who knows where we'll be from here i can hardly see a thing but i will follow anyone who brings me to you for now, forever, for on and on and on - alkaline trio

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:17 PM	#8
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Location: Singapore / Vancouver	Now you know her true colors. It's natural to feel upset about losing a friend but this is what you HAVE to do, please do yourself a huge favor, don't be her friend anymore! Many of us get tricked by people, best friends or otherwise, don't feel so bad, stuff like this is bound to happen. Do you have a second best friend you can relate to? Preferably someone who doesn't know her or doesn't like her? Hang out with that friend for a while, maybe if you're alert and careful, she might get upgraded to your new best friend! __________________

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:21 PM	#9
nickkyvintage Bag Pervert! Location: UK	thank you ladies :) It's weird but i don't have anybody else to talk to at all other than my mother. My best friend is my whole world and i just feel like tonight my world ended. __________________ Welcome to Ban-City...Population 1...

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:22 PM	#10
winterpearls3 Member Location: California	did you ask her why they hooked up? what happened? i would. maybe she has some kind of explanation or they're just friends. __________________ Have a great day!

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:24 PM	#11
xoxomandylyn 10-25-08: ♥Wedding♥ Location: Pennsylvania	Never talk to her again. She not only swiped your ex, which is just rude, ESPECIALLY after claiming that you shouldn't be with him... but come on, she LIED? THAT is messed up. She's the loser. Apparently, they are perfect for each other, huh? __________________ Looking for an RM Kiss & Makeup!

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:25 PM	#12
dusty paws Vuitton on the brain Location: RAOKville!	has she tried to contact you or offer you an explanation? (not that you necessarily want to hear one..) I'm sorry she did this to you. I really hope that you think twice about moving in with her. Hugs to you. __________________ craving damier! Laura and my babies: http://www.dustypaws.com My blog: http://makeupandpearls.blogspot.com/

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:30 PM	#13
Sez Bag lady Location: London	I am so sorry this happened to you. Being betrayed by a close friend is just awful. Do you have another friend, or a family member who can be there for you? I know when this sort of thing happens it is hard to know who you can or can't trust. I would always trust my brother. [That's not to say I don't trust my best friend, but she's overseas now, so we can't always be there for each other in the same way.]

Jul 1st, 2008, 06:39 PM	#15
nickkyvintage Bag Pervert! Location: UK	its times like this that i hate facebook he has an album called "nearest and dearest" and theres 3 pictures, one of which is her. Why does he have to take her from me. I've spoken to her on the phone and she is really sorry about it all. I know that he is behind this because he is so manipulative and i would forgive her naiveity (sp?) in a split second. She is not the guilty one. __________________ Welcome to Ban-City...Population 1...