My best friend and my Ex?

shockboogie · Jul 2nd, 2008, 01:30 PM

Drop both of them and move on.

BagLadie · Jul 2nd, 2008, 03:09 PM

She broke an unspoken rule. Real girlfriends just don't do that. The ones that do....aren't really your friends. Lose the both of them and move on.

razorbackbelle0 · Jul 2nd, 2008, 06:20 PM

DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN. It takes two to tango. Don't blame this all on him! She knows exactly what she's doing. I'd

that witch! She's no friend of yours.

TejasMama · Jul 2nd, 2008, 06:51 PM

Neither one of them deserve any of your time. Don't give it to them. There are no justifiable excuses for such behavior.

To quote someone far wiser than me, "When people show you who they are, believe them."

fashion1sta · Jul 2nd, 2008, 09:31 PM

Maybe she wasn't able to tell you because she was afraid of how you would react. It took my friend 6 months just to tell me that she was going out w/ my ex. But honestly, it's her problem- not mine.... if she wants 2nd dibs that's fine by me~
I was friends with her for almost 8 years and she has been there for me through diverse situations... so i know who she is as a person .. and i knew that she didn't deliberately do it to hurt me. Besides, the two of them went out long after we had broken up.

~Fabulousity~ · Jul 3rd, 2008, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rendodan110

she may have wanted him all along and that is why she was trying to get you away from him. lose her forget him! move on!

My thoughts exactly! Any of my friends ex's are OFF LIMITS! Too many men out there to be dipping in my friends leftovers.

wordbox · Jul 3rd, 2008, 04:42 PM

I am reminded of the following quote:

"Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean, that's just, like, the rules of feminism!" Gretchen Weiners, Mean Girls

scarlett_2005 · Jul 3rd, 2008, 04:49 PM

I would dump her and never talk to her again. What she did is something a best friend would never ever do.

guccimamma · Jul 3rd, 2008, 05:59 PM

she is a rat. don't let rats in your home.

MissEvil · Jul 3rd, 2008, 07:38 PM

You always put your best friend first. My loyality lays with my best friend and not with any of her exes no matter how good I would get on with them. I wouldnt be caught ever under any circumstances except for possibly at a bustation saying hi with one of my best friends exes. There is just no reason whatsoever to accept a date with the ex even if he feels he needs to talk. And if for some weird reason I would accept it, which I wouldnt, it would be in conspiracy with my best friend because she asked me to find out what weirdo wants.

meela188 · Jul 3rd, 2008, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickkyvintage

It seems im the type of person that just lets people use me. OMG i REALLY need to stop that!

yes you really need to stop letting people abuse you because it's not healthy. what your friend did was very disloyal. just think, is this the type of person that you would want to grow old with. trusting her with your future children, furture husband? IMHO you need to get rid of your friend and the guy, life is stressful enough and you don't need people in your life who will hurt you in such a manner. i was once in a situation such as this one and i dropped both of them out of my life for good. let me tell you i don't regret it at all.

melissa_talent · Jul 3rd, 2008, 08:35 PM

i'm really sorry that this happened to you :(

her behavior shows her total lack of respect for you, i don't think that is best friend behavior to be honest.

i hope you feel better soon

April_Skye · Jul 4th, 2008, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guccimamma

she is a rat. don't let rats in your home.

I second that!!
To the OP, you're being far too nice with this girl. You owe her NOTHING!
Okay, your 'friend' was the one in your ear telling you negative things about this guy. And then she lied to you about her whereabouts because she was trying to prevent you from finding out about their movie-date.

If you didnt go to the cinema and see them that night, she wouldnt have told you.
She would have stuck by her lie that she was travelling to london.

The only person you should be nice to is yourself.

This girl is toxic. Get rid of her. That is not easy and its not fun. But you need to remember WHY you're feeling hurt and betrayed.

And believe me, every girl who has posted in this thread would feel the same way! Friends (real friends WORTH having) dont do this. And lie about it. EVER!

Stand up for yourself girl! Sounds like theyre both losers. Buy yourself a hot new bag, spend more time with your other girlfriends and believe that you deserve better then that. That breakup wouldve hurt. If she was a friend, she'd be helping you! Not hooking up with your ex and lying about it!

Keep us posted and good luck!

Sass · Jul 4th, 2008, 12:46 AM

you poor thing, I hope you are feeling a little better!
Sorry this has happened to you, it has never happened to me but just wanted to offer you a hug!

I agree with the others? Is she really a friend, or is he like totally evil and on the warpath?

phebe · Jul 4th, 2008, 05:48 AM

well, no excuses for me, i'll never see/heard her again, at least for the next 3 or for lives. I think i'm the kind of girl that feels her friends as you do. my best friend is at the top of the world for me, but let me say that we both are wrong. now you're in pain not only for the HORRIBLE thing just happened to you, but also because you're feeling alone, right? take this period like an opportunity to meet other friends (even if not close like her) go out and learn how to walk with your own legs. at least this is what i'm saying to me everyday :)
then, i'm so sorry for what is happening to you, i can only imagine your pains BUT... she is supposed to be your best friend, so she must respect you and your feelings, and first of all she MUST be honest to you. the problem is not that she's going out with your ex (even if for me is an umbreakable rule, i'd never accept it) the problem is that she lied at you, avoiding to tell you what was going on. and she's still not honest to you imo. If they were friends (and why the hell she is friend with him if she thinks he is a looser??????) well, what's the problem on telling you she's going to see a movie with a friend of her that- look at the incredible case- is your ex???
to me he's not guilty. you broke, he wasn't respecting you when you were toghether, he wont start to respect you right now, but they are both adults, she knows what she's doing, she knows that this will break your hearth, but she's still doing it. NO WAY. I know this hurts, i know you'll have hard times without that girl you're feeling as your best friend, but believe me she's not.
lot of hughs to you

Jul 2nd, 2008, 01:30 PM	#46
shockboogie Member Location: Manila/Michigan	Drop both of them and move on. __________________ Are you ready to Shockboogie? ...obsessed with shoes and becoming the next Imelda Marcos

Jul 2nd, 2008, 03:09 PM	#47
BagLadie Got a handle on it Location: Red Sox Nation	She broke an unspoken rule. Real girlfriends just don't do that. The ones that do....aren't really your friends. Lose the both of them and move on. __________________ One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Jul 2nd, 2008, 06:51 PM	#49
TejasMama Member	Neither one of them deserve any of your time. Don't give it to them. There are no justifiable excuses for such behavior. To quote someone far wiser than me, "When people show you who they are, believe them." __________________ ____________________________ "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." --Albert Einstein ____________________________ I just my Belen Echandia!

Jul 3rd, 2008, 04:42 PM	#52
wordbox spay, neuter, adopt! Location: The North Pole	I am reminded of the following quote: "Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean, that's just, like, the rules of feminism!" Gretchen Weiners, Mean Girls __________________

Jul 3rd, 2008, 04:49 PM	#53
scarlett_2005 Crazy 4 LV Location: USA	I would dump her and never talk to her again. What she did is something a best friend would never ever do. __________________

Jul 2nd, 2008, 06:20 PM	#48
razorbackbelle0 Sofa King Banned Location: Raiding PBC's closet... shh!	DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN. It takes two to tango. Don't blame this all on him! She knows exactly what she's doing. I'd that witch! She's no friend of yours.

Jul 2nd, 2008, 09:31 PM	#50
fashion1sta Member Location: CA	Maybe she wasn't able to tell you because she was afraid of how you would react. It took my friend 6 months just to tell me that she was going out w/ my ex. But honestly, it's her problem- not mine.... if she wants 2nd dibs that's fine by me~ I was friends with her for almost 8 years and she has been there for me through diverse situations... so i know who she is as a person .. and i knew that she didn't deliberately do it to hurt me. Besides, the two of them went out long after we had broken up.

Jul 3rd, 2008, 05:59 PM	#54
guccimamma guccimamma	she is a rat. don't let rats in your home.

Jul 3rd, 2008, 07:38 PM	#55
MissEvil Member Location: Sweden	You always put your best friend first. My loyality lays with my best friend and not with any of her exes no matter how good I would get on with them. I wouldnt be caught ever under any circumstances except for possibly at a bustation saying hi with one of my best friends exes. There is just no reason whatsoever to accept a date with the ex even if he feels he needs to talk. And if for some weird reason I would accept it, which I wouldnt, it would be in conspiracy with my best friend because she asked me to find out what weirdo wants.

Jul 3rd, 2008, 08:35 PM	#57
melissa_talent blair waldorf FTW. Location: mtl.	i'm really sorry that this happened to you :( her behavior shows her total lack of respect for you, i don't think that is best friend behavior to be honest. i hope you feel better soon

Jul 4th, 2008, 12:46 AM	#59
Sass Newly Engaged Location: Australia	you poor thing, I hope you are feeling a little better! Sorry this has happened to you, it has never happened to me but just wanted to offer you a hug! I agree with the others? Is she really a friend, or is he like totally evil and on the warpath? __________________ Dying for some retail therapy!!!

Jul 4th, 2008, 05:48 AM	#60
phebe Member Location: Roma	well, no excuses for me, i'll never see/heard her again, at least for the next 3 or for lives. I think i'm the kind of girl that feels her friends as you do. my best friend is at the top of the world for me, but let me say that we both are wrong. now you're in pain not only for the HORRIBLE thing just happened to you, but also because you're feeling alone, right? take this period like an opportunity to meet other friends (even if not close like her) go out and learn how to walk with your own legs. at least this is what i'm saying to me everyday :) then, i'm so sorry for what is happening to you, i can only imagine your pains BUT... she is supposed to be your best friend, so she must respect you and your feelings, and first of all she MUST be honest to you. the problem is not that she's going out with your ex (even if for me is an umbreakable rule, i'd never accept it) the problem is that she lied at you, avoiding to tell you what was going on. and she's still not honest to you imo. If they were friends (and why the hell she is friend with him if she thinks he is a looser??????) well, what's the problem on telling you she's going to see a movie with a friend of her that- look at the incredible case- is your ex??? to me he's not guilty. you broke, he wasn't respecting you when you were toghether, he wont start to respect you right now, but they are both adults, she knows what she's doing, she knows that this will break your hearth, but she's still doing it. NO WAY. I know this hurts, i know you'll have hard times without that girl you're feeling as your best friend, but believe me she's not. lot of hughs to you