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PenelopeBags · Nov 14th, 2007, 11:05 AM

We just got an apt and we're moving in together in January!!!

I'm so excited! Any advice from others who have recently made the leap themselves?

kbell · Nov 14th, 2007, 11:35 AM

That is very exciting - congrats!! I say be patient, very patient:) Before moving in with my now husband I lived alone - everything where I put it unchanged when I got home... not so anymore, lol! It was a BIG adjustment for me.

IntlSet · Nov 14th, 2007, 01:27 PM

Good luck! I just passed on living with my boyfriend and am now sort of regretting it...

Sweetpea83 · Nov 14th, 2007, 01:39 PM

My SO and I recently moved in together like about 5 months ago. I say take turns on chores like cleaning and cooking and give each other space...but most importantly keep the communication going.

GUCCI_COOCHIE · Nov 14th, 2007, 01:41 PM

Don't go to bed mad!

& you'll probably develop some pet peeves due to discovering some of his habits, don't sweat it. Choose your battles! =)

Good luck & Congrats!

heartnaspade · Nov 14th, 2007, 01:42 PM

Congrats!!! It will definitely be a learning experience for you and your SO, but it's also incredibly rewarding and you will probably grow even closer. Are you throwing a housewarming party? This could be a great way to start off this new part of your life together, (and also get some cute little gifts for your home in the process)! Enjoy this exciting time in your life, and I wish you the best of luck!

Fishfood · Nov 14th, 2007, 03:50 PM

Here's a couple of little things to get you going...

1. Sleep in together on weekends. Or get out early to antique, rock climb, or rollerblade, whatever! Find a shared hobby and enjoy it together on weekends together... Like a standing date

2. Don't let the empty toilet paper roll/ toilet lid left up/ towels on the floor tick you off. Just take th3 2 seconds to fix it and skip the fight. If it's an ongoing issue (and never expect the first 2 to change LoL) disuss it at a time when it hasn't happenned that day to get a fresh and non-charged discussion.

3. Respect each others privacy. Just because you live together does NOT mean you spend 24 hours a day together... sometimes we all still like to be alone.

There's millions more, and I bet lots of TPFers could chime in with good hints!

IntlSet · Nov 14th, 2007, 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by Angelfish

Here's a couple of little things to get you going...

1. Sleep in together on weekends. Or get out early to antique, rock climb, or rollerblade, whatever! Find a shared hobby and enjoy it together on weekends together... Like a standing date

2. Don't let the empty toilet paper roll/ toilet lid left up/ towels on the floor tick you off. Just take th3 2 seconds to fix it and skip the fight. If it's an ongoing issue (and never expect the first 2 to change LoL) disuss it at a time when it hasn't happenned that day to get a fresh and non-charged discussion.

3. Respect each others privacy. Just because you live together does NOT mean you spend 24 hours a day together... sometimes we all still like to be alone.

There's millions more, and I bet lots of TPFers could chime in with good hints!

SUCH GREAT ADVICE!!! This is what SAVED my sanity when I lived with roommates.

lorihmatthews · Nov 14th, 2007, 04:15 PM

This was brought up in another thread ... if you and your SO have differing opinions on the cleanliness of the apartment (such as his standards are lower than yours), hire a housekeeper! You won't regret it!

Zophie · Nov 15th, 2007, 01:23 AM

Originally Posted by lorihmatthews

This was brought up in another thread ... if you and your SO have differing opinions on the cleanliness of the apartment (such as his standards are lower than yours), hire a housekeeper! You won't regret it!

Yeah, that's a really good idea. I had serious issues with that with my ex. But then I had other serious issues, so the relationship didn't last. But if it would have just been the house cleaning thing a maid would have been a huge help.

berryblondeboys · Nov 15th, 2007, 09:04 AM

I think that moving in with a boyfriend/husband is so exciting and we have all these romantic notions of how sweet it will be to cuddle in the morning and how sweet to spend all this time together and while that all is VERY nice. There are a lot of "Oh, wow..." moments too.

Just don't get too discouraged as you adjust to living with someone. It's usually little things like mentioned above - toilet seats, leaving dirt clothes, but it's more than that.

Like, My husband had a thing about using different sponges for everything - one for dishes, one for counters and stove, one for floor, one for the table. It was RIDICULOUS. I figured it must have been something he picked up from his Mom, but she came to visit a couple weeks after we moved in and she made the "mistake" of using the wrong sponge too, so it was DHs "invention". Eventually we compromised - one for food stuff (dishes, counters stove), one for floor and one for cleaning with heavier detergents.

And, how we spent our time was a biggee. DH needs a LOT of alone time - a LOT and it took me a LONG TIME to get over the fact that it wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with me, but that he had OTHER interests too. We got over that by both of us trying to be in the same room/part of the house so we can talk/communicate still for things like, "Would you like some tea?" but would pretty much do our own thing for a couple hours each day.

That honeymoon period is nice, but it's also really trying. You'll find out soon enough who is pickier about which chores and so on and will divide things accordingly. In my house (before I was a SAHM), dusting was mine, vacuuming was DHs, cleanign the bathroom was mine, sorting/washing laundry was DHs. Instead of making him do it the way I wanted or vice versa, we just decided not to fight that battle and take care of it ourselves the way we like it done. In the end that means we were both happier and our stuff was cleaner! LOL

Cristina · Nov 15th, 2007, 10:26 AM

Great advice! BF and I employ the sleeping in strategy pretty much every weekend

We've been living together a long time. It was a little difficult at the beginning. I remember our first semester at the university we transferred to was rough. We were in a town we didn't know, going to a school where we knew no one, trying to find jobs and adjusting to living together. But it worked out, and one of the main reasons is because we don't sweat the small stuff (i.e., changing the t.p. roll or picking up clothes on the floor). If the dishes aren't done and it's midnight, leave them. If he forgets to take the trash out, just do it and remind him for next time, etc.

Also, if you can afford it, I recommend living in a place that has at least 2 bedrooms, or a den. You'll be glad for the additional space. Our house has two bedrooms and a den/office, which serves as BF's PC gaming cave. He hides in there while I hang out in the living room and read or watch CNN. Like Angelfish said, just because we live together, doesn't mean we have to spend every waking minute together. It's nice to have "alone time" and privacy in your own home.

Originally Posted by Angelfish

Here's a couple of little things to get you going...

1. Sleep in together on weekends. Or get out early to antique, rock climb, or rollerblade, whatever! Find a shared hobby and enjoy it together on weekends together... Like a standing date

2. Don't let the empty toilet paper roll/ toilet lid left up/ towels on the floor tick you off. Just take th3 2 seconds to fix it and skip the fight. If it's an ongoing issue (and never expect the first 2 to change LoL) disuss it at a time when it hasn't happenned that day to get a fresh and non-charged discussion.

3. Respect each others privacy. Just because you live together does NOT mean you spend 24 hours a day together... sometimes we all still like to be alone.

There's millions more, and I bet lots of TPFers could chime in with good hints!

Zophie · Nov 15th, 2007, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Also, if you can afford it, I recommend living in a place that has at least 2 bedrooms, or a den. You'll be glad for the additional space. Our house has two bedrooms and a den/office, which serves as BF's PC gaming cave. He hides in there while I hang out in the living room and read or watch CNN. Like Angelfish said, just because we live together, doesn't mean we have to spend every waking minute together. It's nice to have "alone time" and privacy in your own home.

that's great advice too. Having your own space is important, even if it's just a home office or something.

PenelopeBags · Nov 16th, 2007, 10:39 AM

Thank you all so much for all your advice- I'm SUPER excited! I'm sure we'll each discover some annoyances about each other- but we're good at communicating and compromising, so we won't let the little things get us down :) I LOVE the sleeping in on weekend, standing date kind of ideas- We were talking about planning a "date" once a week and taking turns planning - I think it will be a good way for us to get to know our new neighborhood together and do some different things!

wordbox · Nov 16th, 2007, 11:07 AM

How exciting! Good luck!

I'm starting on my fourth year of living with my guy. Things to remember:
* It won't always be easy, but that's okay. You grow stronger as a couple when you have to work things out.
* Compromise, definitely. Living together is much different than just dating. And pick your battles! Like Angelfish said (#2), it isn't worth being angry over petty stuff. I still struggle with this one, but I'm finding it's so much easier to just laugh and do stuff myself than to whine about it and hold a grudge. If certain things become an issue, yes, discuss it. But don't sweat the small stuff.
* Before you move in, figure things out. Figure out your finances, how you're going to run the house, etc. (but also remember that some of this stuff might change, so you'll have to change, too).
* Absolutely make sure you still "date." It's easy to fall into a rut when you live with a guy, but just watching tv in the evening and sleeping in the same bed don't really qualify as "quality time." Yes, those things are nice, but it's important to do things together. Even if it's a date at home (we like to make drinks, play darts in the basement, and then cuddle on the couch and watch a movie... it's much different than when we're both on our laptops and watching television on opposite sides of the living room).

Nov 14th, 2007, 11:05 AM	#1
PenelopeBags OP Sofa King Banned Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 115	Moving in with my SO We just got an apt and we're moving in together in January!!! I'm so excited! Any advice from others who have recently made the leap themselves?

Nov 14th, 2007, 11:35 AM	#2
kbell Member Joined: Aug 2007 Location: MA Posts: 2,013	Re: Moving in with my SO That is very exciting - congrats!! I say be patient, very patient:) Before moving in with my now husband I lived alone - everything where I put it unchanged when I got home... not so anymore, lol! It was a BIG adjustment for me.
kbell Member Joined: Aug 2007 Location: MA Posts: 2,013	__________________ Heal quickly & come back soon!

Nov 14th, 2007, 01:27 PM	#3
IntlSet Bonjour! Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 12,990	Re: Moving in with my SO Good luck! I just passed on living with my boyfriend and am now sort of regretting it...
	__________________ www.drinkmorechampagne.com

Nov 14th, 2007, 01:39 PM	#4
Sweetpea83 I <3 cycling Joined: May 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 15,128	Re: Moving in with my SO My SO and I recently moved in together like about 5 months ago. I say take turns on chores like cleaning and cooking and give each other space...but most importantly keep the communication going.
	__________________ Life is short but a smile takes barely a second.~Cuban Proverb

Nov 14th, 2007, 01:41 PM	#5
GUCCI_COOCHIE loves LV! Joined: Jun 2007 Location: OC. Posts: 2,466	Re: Moving in with my SO Don't go to bed mad! & you'll probably develop some pet peeves due to discovering some of his habits, don't sweat it. Choose your battles! =) Good luck & Congrats!
	__________________

Nov 14th, 2007, 01:42 PM	#6
heartnaspade Member Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,450	Re: Moving in with my SO Congrats!!! It will definitely be a learning experience for you and your SO, but it's also incredibly rewarding and you will probably grow even closer. Are you throwing a housewarming party? This could be a great way to start off this new part of your life together, (and also get some cute little gifts for your home in the process)! Enjoy this exciting time in your life, and I wish you the best of luck!
heartnaspade Member Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,450

Nov 14th, 2007, 03:50 PM	#7
Fishfood STILL Abby Fabby! Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 2,870	Re: Moving in with my SO Here's a couple of little things to get you going... 1. Sleep in together on weekends. Or get out early to antique, rock climb, or rollerblade, whatever! Find a shared hobby and enjoy it together on weekends together... Like a standing date 2. Don't let the empty toilet paper roll/ toilet lid left up/ towels on the floor tick you off. Just take th3 2 seconds to fix it and skip the fight. If it's an ongoing issue (and never expect the first 2 to change LoL) disuss it at a time when it hasn't happenned that day to get a fresh and non-charged discussion. 3. Respect each others privacy. Just because you live together does NOT mean you spend 24 hours a day together... sometimes we all still like to be alone. There's millions more, and I bet lots of TPFers could chime in with good hints!
Fishfood STILL Abby Fabby! Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 2,870	__________________ Baby Fish is here!! *WISHLIST: a pretty little crystal Judith Leiber minaudière*

Nov 14th, 2007, 04:15 PM	#9
lorihmatthews Fall is here! Joined: Oct 2006 Location: San Francisco Posts: 11,054	Re: Moving in with my SO This was brought up in another thread ... if you and your SO have differing opinions on the cleanliness of the apartment (such as his standards are lower than yours), hire a housekeeper! You won't regret it!

Nov 15th, 2007, 09:04 AM	#11
berryblondeboys Member Joined: Sep 2007 Location: VA (DC Burbs) Posts: 2,822	Re: Moving in with my SO I think that moving in with a boyfriend/husband is so exciting and we have all these romantic notions of how sweet it will be to cuddle in the morning and how sweet to spend all this time together and while that all is VERY nice. There are a lot of "Oh, wow..." moments too. Just don't get too discouraged as you adjust to living with someone. It's usually little things like mentioned above - toilet seats, leaving dirt clothes, but it's more than that. Like, My husband had a thing about using different sponges for everything - one for dishes, one for counters and stove, one for floor, one for the table. It was RIDICULOUS. I figured it must have been something he picked up from his Mom, but she came to visit a couple weeks after we moved in and she made the "mistake" of using the wrong sponge too, so it was DHs "invention". Eventually we compromised - one for food stuff (dishes, counters stove), one for floor and one for cleaning with heavier detergents. And, how we spent our time was a biggee. DH needs a LOT of alone time - a LOT and it took me a LONG TIME to get over the fact that it wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with me, but that he had OTHER interests too. We got over that by both of us trying to be in the same room/part of the house so we can talk/communicate still for things like, "Would you like some tea?" but would pretty much do our own thing for a couple hours each day. That honeymoon period is nice, but it's also really trying. You'll find out soon enough who is pickier about which chores and so on and will divide things accordingly. In my house (before I was a SAHM), dusting was mine, vacuuming was DHs, cleanign the bathroom was mine, sorting/washing laundry was DHs. Instead of making him do it the way I wanted or vice versa, we just decided not to fight that battle and take care of it ourselves the way we like it done. In the end that means we were both happier and our stuff was cleaner! LOL

Nov 16th, 2007, 10:39 AM	#14
PenelopeBags OP Sofa King Banned Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 115	Re: Moving in with my SO Thank you all so much for all your advice- I'm SUPER excited! I'm sure we'll each discover some annoyances about each other- but we're good at communicating and compromising, so we won't let the little things get us down :) I LOVE the sleeping in on weekend, standing date kind of ideas- We were talking about planning a "date" once a week and taking turns planning - I think it will be a good way for us to get to know our new neighborhood together and do some different things!

Nov 16th, 2007, 11:07 AM	#15
wordbox wannabe writer Joined: Feb 2007 Location: The North Pole Posts: 5,299	Re: Moving in with my SO How exciting! Good luck! I'm starting on my fourth year of living with my guy. Things to remember: * It won't always be easy, but that's okay. You grow stronger as a couple when you have to work things out. * Compromise, definitely. Living together is much different than just dating. And pick your battles! Like Angelfish said (#2), it isn't worth being angry over petty stuff. I still struggle with this one, but I'm finding it's so much easier to just laugh and do stuff myself than to whine about it and hold a grudge. If certain things become an issue, yes, discuss it. But don't sweat the small stuff. * Before you move in, figure things out. Figure out your finances, how you're going to run the house, etc. (but also remember that some of this stuff might change, so you'll have to change, too). * Absolutely make sure you still "date." It's easy to fall into a rut when you live with a guy, but just watching tv in the evening and sleeping in the same bed don't really qualify as "quality time." Yes, those things are nice, but it's important to do things together. Even if it's a date at home (we like to make drinks, play darts in the basement, and then cuddle on the couch and watch a movie... it's much different than when we're both on our laptops and watching television on opposite sides of the living room).
	__________________

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