Mother in laws & other in laws stories - Rant away!!!

[MAGs]

When DH and I found out I was pregnant, we both called our parents to share the news and while my news was received with ecstatic cheers and congratulations, I heard my MIL heave such a heavy sigh like she heard such a disturbing news. I cried bucket of tears and I promised my daughter that I'll shower her with so much love she won't miss her father's parents. They're so fake it's sickening.

[couture2387]

my bf's mother is a psycho. She got pregnant at 18 with him and feels like her youth is gone so she takes it upon herself to be middle-age party animal. yeah. The other day she asked me, at his bday dinner in front of the whooooolllllllleeeee family, if I could finally give her a grandchild so that she could raise him/her. For the record, I'm 22 and finishing my undergrad. I am in no position to get knocked up because she wants a baby. And if I did get pregnant, I certainly wouldn't hand the baby to her and let her raise it. I'm certain I'll be 500x the mother she wishes she could be.

[queenvictoria2]

Originally Posted by couture2387

my bf's mother is a psycho. She got pregnant at 18 with him and feels like her youth is gone so she takes it upon herself to be middle-age party animal. yeah. The other day she asked me, at his bday dinner in front of the whooooolllllllleeeee family, if I could finally give her a grandchild so that she could raise him/her. For the record, I'm 22 and finishing my undergrad. I am in no position to get knocked up because she wants a baby. And if I did get pregnant, I certainly wouldn't hand the baby to her and let her raise it. I'm certain I'll be 500x the mother she wishes she could be.

Oh I am so sorry
I had my DD when I was 19 and she is 22 now and let me assure you not all mothers who have children that young act like that

[kcf68]

Okay, My mother in law is not evil or anything but she is just plain lazy. She will come to my house and pretend that she is on "Vacation". She doesn't bother to help cook or clean up her own dishes off the kitchen table. She will hold the kids for maybe an hour and say "Oh I've held the kids all day". She is a shopping addict and comes to visit to shop but doesn't want to drive herself anywhere. The mall is only 2 miles from the house. So I would have to bundle the kids and drag them around the mall so she can "Shop". I finally told her not to come to my house for her "Vacation because I can't take care of the kids and her."

[jordanjordan]

My boyfriend's parents are divorced and though neither of them really like me, his Mom makes it pretty obvious.

I went to visit for Thanksgiving last year (the only time I've visited). First, we told her we couldn't fly out until after 10 and though it was very nice of her to pay for our flight, she booked our tickets at 6am. Then she got really upset when we said we wanted to get a hotel room (that we were going to pay for) so we ended up staying in their guest room. 90% of the time I was there she spoke Chinese (which I don't know) even though she can speak English and I loudly kept asking BF to translate for me hoping she would take a hint. She also had then nerve to ask BF why I wasn't very friendly or talkative. Um hello.... maybe because I can't understand you if you are purposely speaking in a different language! Oh, and she also kept telling me I needed to eat more vegetables, probably 20 times while I was there. (I am 23 years old)

[MarneeB]

Originally Posted by tiffanystar

I'm very fortunate to have a lovely MIL. As a mother of boys I know that I may become a MIL myself one day. I think some women should take an honest look at their behavior towards their MIL's. It sometimes seems that MIL's can do no right.

I realize my post made my MIL sound quite horrible. But the simple fact is, she IS horrible. I very seldom see her anymore. If she calls she refuses to talk to me (as I said in the post) so it's better this way. I've been married for 12 yrs but with my dh for 20 years. In the beginning I refused to believe someone was actually that mean, so I made it a point to bake my MIL b-day cakes, hand delivered holiday cards (one at which she laughed at me for), and asked if she wanted to go shopping (she said no, then went by herself). I tried several things because I've always felt I am easy to get along with, and it bothered me that she was so rude to me. When my dh (bf at the time) and I split up for a short while she told him it's for the better. That's when he found out what her problem was: I am too quiet, too fat, and I stopped him from partying all night, every night, which he did on his own after we met. I am just now, after 20 years, able to come to terms with her simply not liking me. And tiffanystar, believe me I have taken an honest look at my behavior towards her. I don't enjoy not getting along with her, I gave it a long (years) hard try. She simply doesn't care, and I give up. I wanted my ds to have another grandma, because I had none, but it hurt too much when she showed she didn't care about that, either. Some people just have a cold heart. It took me many years (and tears) to finally be at peace with it. And on the bright side, I KNOW I'll be an awesome MIL should my son marry.

[MarneeB]

Originally Posted by NIUiceprincess

That is terrible!!! I'm glad you have kept your distance, it is better that way. What does your DH say about how she treats you and your son?

It is better this way. In the beginning my dh wasn't aware of her behavior towards me. She was sneaky and said things when he wasn't in the room. When I asked him if he knew the things she said to me he'd say she didn't mean it that way and that I was too sensitve. Then my FIL passed away about 10 yrs ago and she gave up trying to hide any of it. That's when my dh started stepping in & telling her to stop. Still, it's no big deal to her since she only laughed when he'd tell her. For that reason he doesn't see her too much, either. I've always felt guilty about that, but he insists it's how he wants it and if she can't respect me then he's not going to give her the opportunity to insult me anymore.

[ShopGirl647]

It is totally natural for MILs not to like their DIL so that's the reason why I started this thread cuz majority of us do have problems with our extended family. Thank gawd we only see them on special occasions. Of course there are also many ppl who get along very well with their MIL and SIL. No matter what you do to please them, they will always feel you are not good enough for their son/brother and if you married into a big family, you betcha they will gang up on you if you disagree with their views. I have two sons myself. I hope to gawd that I won't behave like that when my sons gets married in the future.

[ShopGirl647]

Hope everyone had a very nice Father’s Day. Of course DH’s family had a huge gathering on Sunday at a restaurant celebrating with 17 people – 11 adults and 6 small kids all under age 5.Talk about a crazy lunch. Over the past year, DH’s family have all of a sudden become baby making machines with babies popping here and there. Of course, here to report the dramas that went on at the restaurant. Been so busy so I haven’t been on for and a while ever since starting this thread so here is my first post. I am so surprised at how fast this thread has become and I am happy for the support that I am not the only one out there who feels like a second class citizen when it comes to attending DH’s gatherings.

MIL and FIL are divorced so I was soooo glad this time only dramas with the SILs, no MIL around to make it worse but it doesn’t mean it is any better either.

They all used to criticize me in my face about my 3 yrs old son for being rowdy at restaurants in the past but the tables are turned now. They would always compare my first son with #3SIL‘s 4 yrs old daughter who is a total angel. I honestly don’t think you can compare boys to girls. Well guess what, #3SIL’s 1.5 yrs old son was throwing a tantrum at the restaurant and NOBODY SAID A WORD. I used to say “boys will be boys” but they didn’t believe me at all and would smirk at me. #1SIL’s 6 month old son was also throwing a major fit and showing attitude too at such a young age, probably got the attitude from his mom. My 2nd son who was only two weeks younger than her and he was so well behaved and so was my 3 yrs old too. I was very relieved that I didn’t have any problems with my two sons that day, thank gawd, while everyone else was trying to retain their rowdy kids.

Another subject of discussion at the table were breastfeeding, comparing one kid with one another yada yada yada. I decided to be smart and keep quiet and just observe which is the best way to handle these drama. Too bad DH and I was dumb enough to choose a seat that was in between #2SIL and #1SIL. They are my worst ppl on my list. #2SIL kept on saying it’s ok to drink beer and coffee while breastfeeding and I almost choke on my food to keep from laughing and #1SIL wouldn’t drop the topic of breastfeeding and kept lecturing her. They were going at it with one another so I finally said “As long as it is in moderation, it should be ok” just to shut them up. Do I really care if my niece (#2SIL’s one month old daughter) is drunk and high on caffeine??? Nope.

The best part is when the bill came around and everyone has to chip in to pay. #3SIL decided to get up and bring her daughter and MY son to the washroom to wash their hands. She does this every time the bill comes whenever we go out to restaurants. They were gone for more than 20 mins so #5SIL got really pissed/annoyed and paid for her. Apparently #3BIL (#3SIL’s DH) didn’t have money with him and #3SIL had the wallet. Hello, the diaper bag was sitting right next to him. Of course, she is the one that wears the pants in the relationship. Honestly, I don’t know too many ppl who takes that long to wash their kid’s hands and very conveniently the timing of it too.

#2BIL/SIL silently short changed again giving $30 instead of $35 that was required per couple. #5SIL was the one collecting and counting the money and she knew but kept silent. Last time, #5SIL and #1SIL (she’s the one with the worst temper) accused DH and I of short changing when that wasn’t true and they tried to embarrass us in front of everyone. It was actually someone else, wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same people. Not my fault they can’t count. So I guess it’s ok for them to do it, not ok for us. Next gathering, I am going to make sure we are the last ones to pay so I can watch everyone pay.

#5SIL who usually ignores me majority of the time and gangs up with #2SIL when it comes to picking on me with education credentials (they are bitter because they didn't finish school and #2SIL went to college instead and regretted it) had the decency to ask me if I was celebrating Father’s Day with my side of the family. She is the one who organized the gathering and she called us pretty late on Friday night to let us know so it was kind of last minute arrangements. I predicted she would do it again this year so I told my parents to be on “stand by” and they didn’t mind. We ended up celebrating on Sat and went out for lunch right after we found out DH's family plans for Sunday. #5SIL contacted us at the last minute intentionally hoping there will be a conflict in our schedule. You should’ve seen the disappointment in her voice when DH told her we would be able to make it for brunch!!!!!! She was probably hoping we won’t show up. We didn’t show up for Mother’s Day gathering this year cuz she told us on the day of for dinner and we already made plans!!!! I’m sure that pissed MIL off but it’s not our fault, first come first serve when it comes to planning. That’s fair enough right??? Yeah, like she really gives a rat about my side of the family and what we did for celebration.

Dreading the next gathering which will be this Sat June 27 … #2BIL/SIL’s one month daughter’s celebration which is a big deal to them. Heard they reserved 8 tables at a restaurant which means about 80 ppl. Hope I will survive!!!!!!!!!!!

[peanutbabycakes]

my MIL lives with me and DH. DH works out of town during the week, so technically she lives with only me. she is your typical overbearing chinese woman who loves to think that she will always be DH's #1 woman and that i come in second forever.

she used to try and beat me to the car first so that she could sit in the front passenger seat whenever DH drove us somewhere, and i'd be in the backseat of course. weird.

i am currently 8 months pregnant with twins (her first grandkids) and she was asked a few weeks ago "are you excited?!" to which she replied "no not yet. they are still in her tummy so i wait till they come out and i hold them first"! who in their right mind says that kinda stuff?????

for xmas every year, she tells me up front "don't buy me anything bc i'm not buying you anything". yet, she'll go all out and buy for other family members and charge it on our CC. (we gave her a joint CC for groceries, gas, etc) of course, i always end up buying her something bc that's just how i am.

one year, i received a xmas present from a friend and it magically disappeared the next day. i kinda knew she had something to do with it so i confronted MIL about it. she had taken it and regifted it to her friend!!!! i was sooo mad!!! DH made her go and get the gift back! LOL

once i was shown an hermes birkin in the boutique and MIL yanked it from my arms and said to DH "you just bought her a bag! you need to buy this one for me!"

my parents came to visit a few months ago and my mom made some noodle soup for the family. she offered some to MIL and MIL said "no thank you...i like to eat my soup bc it's healthier"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my poor mom....

goodness.....i could just go on and on and on and on.......

[one fifty]

my MIL is horribly irresponsible with money and we've had to dig her out of one hole after another. but she is a nice woman and always been nice to me, so I can't rant when I've read the stories here. I think my issues with her are better for the Money forum.

[agile]

Originally Posted by peanutbabycakes

my MIL lives with me and DH. DH works out of town during the week, so technically she lives with only me. she is your typical overbearing chinese woman who loves to think that she will always be DH's #1 woman and that i come in second forever. she used to try and beat me to the car first so that she could sit in the front passenger seat whenever DH drove us somewhere, and i'd be in the backseat of course. weird. i am currently 8 months pregnant with twins (her first grandkids) and she was asked a few weeks ago "are you excited?!" to which she replied "no not yet. they are still in her tummy so i wait till they come out and i hold them first"! who in their right mind says that kinda stuff????? for xmas every year, she tells me up front "don't buy me anything bc i'm not buying you anything". yet, she'll go all out and buy for other family members and charge it on our CC. (we gave her a joint CC for groceries, gas, etc) of course, i always end up buying her something bc that's just how i am. one year, i received a xmas present from a friend and it magically disappeared the next day. i kinda knew she had something to do with it so i confronted MIL about it. she had taken it and regifted it to her friend!!!! i was sooo mad!!! DH made her go and get the gift back! LOL once i was shown an hermes birkin in the boutique and MIL yanked it from my arms and said to DH "you just bought her a bag! you need to buy this one for me!" my parents came to visit a few months ago and my mom made some noodle soup for the family. she offered some to MIL and MIL said "no thank you...i like to eat my soup bc it's healthier"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my poor mom.... goodness.....i could just go on and on and on and on.......

PBC, I don't know how you could live with a woman like that. Kudos to you for putting up with it. You must be a very patient person which is a good thing. Hopefully, you will learn from all this and become a fantastic MIL in the future!

[Rummy]

Tell him he can go by himself. Or invite them over every other weekend. Why can't they come to you?

Originally Posted by NIUiceprincess

My MIL is a wonderful woman and I do love her dearly. We get along great so I kinda feel bad about ranting the below... Okay I work full time 5 days a week as a super boring business analyst. the job is so blah but it pays the bills so I think Ill stick around for awhile. Anyway we live in the 'burbs and my job is in the city so I have this train commute back and forth...when the weekend comes, I am drained. I just want to do what I've been looking forward to all week...my figure skating lessons, shop with my mom or friends, hang out with friends,squeeze in chores like laundry and housecleaning, or chill with my hubby watching movies or our shows on Tivo...and of course since i got married, visit the inlaws. the problem with visiting the in-laws. they practically expect us to come EVERY weekend. I just cannot fathom why we have to visit every weekend. We live 30 minutes away so she figured it's not a big deal, but I just want to relax with me and hubby since we work opposite hours (he has first shift) so we hardly see each other during the week. Me and DH actually had a big fight about this and he said I was just being mean because I am using the "work excuse" and just don't want to see his family. Ummm his parents are both retired, his sister got pregnant and quit her job after the birth, so I guess no no can sympathize with me who works a full week. Even DH only works 25 hours a week (and i'm nice enough not forcing him to get a second job just cuz we dont need it). DH thought I was just super lazy (hello how can I be called lazy when I put up with a job I don't like for 45 hours a week) for wanting to "relax" on the weekends. Well he saw I wasn't giving in so eventually he told his mom that we would only visit every other weekend because NIUIcePrincess needs her relax time...so for awhile MIL thought that I do not like her just coz of this (we still get along but now she gets worried that I would get upset...arrrghh). And the visits themselves...they drag...from like 11 am to like 4 pm seriously. It's not just like lunch or anything. And no wonder we return to our condo and I'm tired at 7 pm on a sunday. By the way, we don't have kids so it's not like I'm keeping the grandchildren away from them or anything. Apparently they just want to "see us". My family doesn't make us visit every weekend like that, just his. Anyone else agree with me that there should be a limit to such visits?

[Rocky]

My MIL and FIL are divorced. One day I was with my MIL and she flat out told me that my FIL, his girlfriend, his sister and brother hate me. She then told me that her family side thinks I'm a b!tch and that she tries to tell them I'm not but they just don't believe her.

I asked why my FIL thought of me that way and she said that he hated me because I treat his son like crap and talk down to him. Apparently the incident happened the day before our wedding. That day my DH and his family were setting up the reception hall. I unfortunately was unable to help because I had to drive 2 hours to my final dress fitting then drive 2 hours back after being there for 2 hours because the lady was busy. I kept calling DH and asking him if everything was set up the way I planned and mapped and he continuously told me yes and not to worry about it, it was perfect.

Guess what happened...I stopped by and nothing was the way I had mapped. NOTHING! So yes I was pissed and yes I had a problem with the way things were set up and yes I gave him a piece of my mind because he straight LIED to me. So because of that everyone hates me and thinks that he could do better.

I'm basically done with his family. We did the whole pre-marriage counseling thing, because we got married in the catholic church, and we discussed his family and they way they treat me and talk to me. He promised to work on it. Even our priest told him that he needed to put me first before anyone else. Nothing has come out of that.

It was my bday a few weeks ago and I wasn't taking anyone's calls, because I like to hear the crazy voice mails everyone leaves, and his mother confronted me about it. The conversation went like this:

MIL "I tried calling you all day on your bday. What's up with you not picking up your phone?"

Me "I didn't take anyone's call because..."

I was then cut off by MIL and she said "What a bitch!"

DH did not say one word. Later that evening I told him that we needed to go see our priest so that we can discuss our marriage issues and his eyes bugged out of his head. According to him we have a perfect marriage. He sees no issues.

Whatev's...we shall see what happens.

For the record. I would NEVER let anyone in my family disrespect him like that. The good thing is I don't ever have to worry about that happening because my family isn't like that.

[ShopGirl647]

The downside to my extended family is that they LIVE TOO CLOSE. We are all in the same town. My parents on the other hand is about 30 min drive. It drives me nuts when MIL drops by my house unexpected ever since I went on mat leave and she has the keys to our house!!! We gave it to her back when I had to stay in the hospital a bit longer after giving birth to my 2nd DS but we never asked for it back.

I also screen all my calls especially MIL. I set a special ring tone for her. I never pick up my cell whenever she calls so she ends up bugging DH instead cuz he's the opposite and will pick up all his calls regardless. I figure she has her own daughters living in the same town and they're home all the time so if it was actually an emergency, I would probably be the last person on earth she would call anyways. The ironic part is whenever she needs help with something, she always comes to me instead of her own daughters cuz they will brush her off like a bug. Yet, she can also be mean to me at the same time. So now, I learn to know how to avoid her whenever possible.

MIL got remarried two years ago and is currently teaching her new hubby how to drive. LOL cuz she is also a bad driver. But guess where she teaches him? She would have him drive around in my neighbourhood which is out of her way. We're about 15 mins from her house but further away from all the other sub divisions. Of all the places near her house where she could teach him, why make him come all the way to our neighbourhood? Several times, I got voice mails from her saying she doesn't see my car in the driveway - did I take the kids out or something??? DUH!!!!!