Mom wants to use my name to buy a condo!!!

[materialgurl]

Alright, so my mom calls me last night with what she considers to be a great idea.. she wants to use my name to purchase a condo (because she doesn't work, therefore the bank would never approve her).

Now just some background information.. my mom and my dad are divorced.. she went through a traumatic divorce when I was a child, and it ended up very bad. She's been very depressed and needy throughout my life. Growing up, I've always resented my mom as she'd hit me and etc. She was super strict, never trusted me at all. We never got along, and we were never close (and still are not close). I don't feel like she is someone who listens and understands.. there is a slight language barrier as I can only speak my native language on a superficial level; she speaks no English. I have never asked her for anything, I was working since I was 16 and have been able to pay my own bills. School is a different story, her and my dad split my education (this is what people in my culture do, they wouldn't let me pay for my own schooling even if I wanted to). SO that is the only thing she ever really paid for. Anyway, at age 21, I moved in with my bf and rarely saw her. Now 2 years later, I have graduated college and my bf and I have bought our own loft (about 4 months ago).

Now my mom asking me to use my name to buy a condo makes it very difficult for me. She "says" that I don't have to pay anything (no down payment, no mortgage...etc). She is currently renting and when "I" buy this condo, she wants to rent it out until the mortgage is fully paid off; she said it will take about 3-5 years as she will be putting 40% down payment. Obviously I have many many major concerns about this:

1.) She is barely working, she makes about $300-500/month doing just random things like babysitting.. etc etc. If she does not find a renter, she would have to pay the mortgage. However, because she makes so little.. I will likely have to compensate the rest, WHILE still paying my OWN mortgage.

2.) My bf and I plan to be engaged and married in the next 3-4 years, should I have to pay for my own mortgage/my mom's mortgage, there is no way I can pay for a wedding.

3.) My bf and I plan to move within the next 3-4 years.. to buy a house and start a family. Having 2 mortgages will highly affect us (we do not want to sell the loft when we move, which means I will have 3 mortgages).

4.) I don't even know if I will be approved for another mortgage!! I make decent money but I just graduated last Nov.

I'm sure I have more concerns but I just can't think of them right now. I feel very obligated to do this. However, I am taking a huge risk also. I care about my mom, and I just feel a great sense of obligation.. my dad left her, and now I've left her and I am the only child. So what would you guys do? I just feel so stressed out.. I can't believe she would ask me to do something like this without considering any of my future plans. Last night I was talking to my bf about it & I started crying.. I just don't want so much responsibility when I'm only 23.

Any input would be appreciated, thank you.

[Sternchen]

I don't know too much about this stuff and I assume the ladies in the Money forum would be able to help you further in this area. But if I were you: I wouldn't do it. The way I understand it you would be the legal owner of this condo, therefore you would have the responsibility of paying off the mortgage even though your mother says you wouldn't have to pay a dime. If she makes a few late payments, the mortgage company isn't going to go after your mother - they are going to go after you! We are about the same age (I just turned 24) and if I were in your situation I'd be scared to death at that prospect.

I know you feel that you should help your mother but I don't think that this is a very good idea and I think that you should be honest and tell her that. I know that we always want to believe that our families are good and would never do anything to hurt us, but when a situation involves as much money as this I become weary and untrusting. Just too much risk involved for me, sorry!

[nataliam1976]

Do not do this, no matter how hard she tries to convince you.

[HauteMama]

No, no, no, do NOT allow this! This could potentially ruin your credit for many years, and you will be left with a house payment on a house that isn't yours everytime she either doesn't pay it or doesn't pay you. Many parents will not even co-sign for their children because it is just a dangerous thing to do. Unless you can comfortably assume that debt, do not allow her to use your name. And do NOT risk approval for your own mortgage on the home you plan to buy with your SO. Almost no bank, especially in the current financial environment, would consider such a young person with two or three mortgages a good risk.

It will strain your relationship with you mom to say no, but it will strain both the relationship with your mom, your SO and with creditors if you say yes.

[sailornep5]

Don't do it! A few years ago my father wanted to take advantage of the housing market rise in CA and asked me to co-sign with him on a second home (since his credit wouldn't be approved on its own). I was young (24 years old), and guilt made me feel obligated and trusting of the situation. Well, fast forward a few years and you know how the market has fallen. There are renters in that house (thank goodness) but with interest rates going up (since I trusted his advice and got a ARM) I worry all the time that my dad won't be able to pay the remainder of the mortgage and default without telling me until it's too late - which will affect my credit score (and now my husband's!).

Just tell your mom you tried but unfortunately you were not accepted for a loan. Hopefully that will help buy you some time. (If you're in anything like my situation, telling her the truth probably won't help!)

[shy*violet]

No, No, and just in case you didn't get it the first couple of times, NO.

This is just like co-signing a loan. YOU will be held liable if your mom can't pay the mortage. YOUR credit score will be tarnished. YOU will be the one responsible for this.

Even if you were 45 I would still say NO.

[olialm1]

This is an awful idea. Since your name will be on the papers if she screws up and doesn't have money to pay then your ass is on the line. Your mother or not, this just puts you in an awkward position that jeopardizes your income, credit, and basically whole life. I would just tell her you can't and won't.

[gacats]

Nope, don't do it.
Tell her your credit sucks or something if that will help you get out of it.
Sorry you're in this position.

[materialgurl]

Also just occured to me that EVEN if I did do this, I would also be responsible for the renters!! ARGH!! thanks everyone so far for all your advice! I will also spreak to my dad about this.

[vhdos]

Absolutely not. You may not even need to worry about this because in today's economy, I think that it would be quite difficult to find a financial institution that would even approve you for a second mortgage.

[kbnkch]

Don't do it.

[materialgurl]

Originally Posted by vhdos

Absolutely not. You may not even need to worry about this because in today's economy, I think that it would be quite difficult to find a financial institution that would even approve you for a second mortgage.

I know.. but where I live real estate is actually blooming.. my bfs family bought 3 places within the last 3 months... 2 of my colleagues bought places.. my friends are buying. Also I think the condo she wants is under 130K if that makes any difference.. and putting 40K down would mean a 30%-ish downpayment. Did I mention she thinks it could be paid off within 5 years?

[Roo]

There are a lot of threads here about children of divorce- try and read some of them if you can. You are being put in a really bad position by your mother by virtue of the fact that this divorce happened. You are not responsible for your Mom... I am a stepmom of two kids whose mother does similar things to them financially and it's really awful. You are not your Mom's spouse!! Talk to your Dad and get some support that way. I would not do this!!

[Bella]

I believe this scenario can be done and is done all the time between family, but with people in a bit better financial position than your mother. From what you've explained I would strongly advise against doing this. If you are in a position financially to make this investment yourself, do it for you, when you're ready.

[boxermom]

Please don't do it! You will be responsible if anything goes wrong and from what you say, there's a very big chance it will.

You don't owe it to her, don't let her guilt trip you into it. She can rent and put money aside to buy, like most people do.

No, no, no.