Welcome to The Purse Forum.

shoegal27 · Jun 27th, 2009, 11:10 PM

We are due to meet really soon. What would be a good thing to do for this meeting? Places to meet her with her dad.. activities..????? She is 11 years old.

nooch · Jun 27th, 2009, 11:29 PM

When I met my stepmother for the first time (I was seven) we went to a children's museum and then had lunch. With an activity before you sit down for a meal, there's less awkwardness because the kid is doing the activity and you and your boyfriend aren't the focus. Then by the time you have lunch, the kid feels less strange.

Good luck!

shy*violet · Jun 28th, 2009, 02:20 AM

Sounds like nooch has a good idea.

I think it's best to meet on "neutral territory" so his house probably wouldn't be a good idea

dearmissie · Jun 28th, 2009, 02:57 AM

I agree with Nooch, if you to something before a sit down meal, so that way when it's time to conversate you have something to talk about. Good luck!!

shoegal27 · Jun 28th, 2009, 07:44 AM

Thanks everyone... bf was thinking about going to the mall since we both like shopping, (window shopping) and that would be something that would put us both in our element. How long do you think this meeting should be? How long until the next one? I don't want to be too much of a fixture in the beginning, so am wondering what would be appropriate here.

Nieners · Jun 28th, 2009, 07:56 AM

I think the things the girls above said would do And perhaps you should just see what happens, maybe it's not awkward and there's a good bonding between you two. That way, you can go ahead and plan another meeting for about 2 weeks later I think? This way, it seems so forced... just let it happen KWIM?

rainrowan · Jun 28th, 2009, 09:58 AM

I'd have her bring a friend along, and go to one of those kids fun places, girls clothing and jewelry stores or Build-A-Bear stations at the mall. It is a lot less awkward that way. For want of a better phrase, you and the daughter can feel each other out from each your own vantage point without being in each other's faces or risk giving a first impression and still have a good time with the your BF, her father.

I still do that today, when family comes to town, it can get stressful especially if there is some kind of agenda to the meeting. I enjoy meeting up with them in the city for a meal or visiting museums or parks whether with adults or children.

shoegal27 · Jun 28th, 2009, 10:30 AM

^^I'm not sure I want her to bring a friend. It will be just him, her and me. Where is the question?

divalicioust · Jun 28th, 2009, 10:53 AM

I think a fun day where you and your boyfriend are not the focus is a good idea, the zoo, the aquarium, day of shopping/lunch, all great ideas.

BagLadie · Jun 28th, 2009, 10:53 AM

My only advice to you is to relax. Kids can sense trepidation and anxiety. Be yourself and don't try to win her over. Ask her dad what she likes to do and go from there. Don't push her too hard or try to make her like you.

BagLuver · Jun 28th, 2009, 10:56 AM

I have 3 stepdaughters, so I've been here! For the first meeting, it should certainly be in a neutral spot and centered around an activity. For instance, you could all play a round of miniature golf together. Also, the first meeting should be relatively short - I would keep it to 2-3 hrs at most. Have a great time!

SPOILEDkiwi · Jun 29th, 2009, 12:11 AM

I would avoid shopping and go to a more kid friendly place like the aquarium or the zoo. I don't think there's much conversation that can be made out of a shopping trip. I think at the aquarium or zoo it will be easier to find things to talk about, and it won't be awkward if she's shy and it takes her a little time to start talking to you.

GUCCI_COOCHIE · Jun 29th, 2009, 12:19 AM

Yes, I think a kid friendly place would be better. After doing the activities, have lunch, and call it a day.

Charles · Jun 29th, 2009, 09:51 AM

I agree with Nooch. Just relax and be yourself. DEFINITELY don't try to act like a mother figure. I mean, if she's reaching into a lion cage, say something, but anything less than that should be handled by her dad. Don't buy her anything...just talk and get to know her.

divalicioust · Jun 29th, 2009, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by shoegal27

We are due to meet really soon. What would be a good thing to do for this meeting? Places to meet her with her dad.. activities..????? She is 11 years old.

Be sure to let us know how it goes. I'll be facing this same issue next month with my bf.

Jun 27th, 2009, 11:10 PM	#1
shoegal27 OP shoe addict Joined: Sep 2007 Location: In my own world Posts: 2,764	Meeting the daughter of my boyfriend We are due to meet really soon. What would be a good thing to do for this meeting? Places to meet her with her dad.. activities..????? She is 11 years old.
	__________________ Tori "The fact is sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes, that's why we need really special ones every now and then to make the walk a little more fun. ~Carrie Bradshaw~"

Jun 27th, 2009, 11:29 PM	#2
nooch bubblehead Joined: Apr 2008 Posts: 3,807	When I met my stepmother for the first time (I was seven) we went to a children's museum and then had lunch. With an activity before you sit down for a meal, there's less awkwardness because the kid is doing the activity and you and your boyfriend aren't the focus. Then by the time you have lunch, the kid feels less strange. Good luck!
nooch bubblehead Joined: Apr 2008 Posts: 3,807	__________________ Come cheer me on at my weight loss thread - http://forum.purseblog.com/health-an...re-488893.html

Jun 28th, 2009, 02:20 AM	#3
shy*violet I heart PINK! Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,277	Sounds like nooch has a good idea. I think it's best to meet on "neutral territory" so his house probably wouldn't be a good idea
shy*violet I heart PINK! Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,277	__________________ I want a teal bag, dangit!

Jun 28th, 2009, 02:57 AM	#4
dearmissie formerly oo0ehxtahcee0oo Joined: Aug 2007 Location: After a much needed break, I'M BACK!! Posts: 7,267	I agree with Nooch, if you to something before a sit down meal, so that way when it's time to conversate you have something to talk about. Good luck!!
	__________________ [His shirt says it all!! Click photo to read thread!] www,dearmissie.blogspot.com updated:11/03

Jun 28th, 2009, 07:44 AM	#5
shoegal27 OP shoe addict Joined: Sep 2007 Location: In my own world Posts: 2,764	Thanks everyone... bf was thinking about going to the mall since we both like shopping, (window shopping) and that would be something that would put us both in our element. How long do you think this meeting should be? How long until the next one? I don't want to be too much of a fixture in the beginning, so am wondering what would be appropriate here.
	__________________ Tori "The fact is sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes, that's why we need really special ones every now and then to make the walk a little more fun. ~Carrie Bradshaw~"

Jun 28th, 2009, 07:56 AM	#6
Nieners ❀ ♥ Loubounista ♥ ❀ Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Alaska in winter Posts: 2,159	I think the things the girls above said would do And perhaps you should just see what happens, maybe it's not awkward and there's a good bonding between you two. That way, you can go ahead and plan another meeting for about 2 weeks later I think? This way, it seems so forced... just let it happen KWIM?
	__________________ ♥ ''If we never see each other again, and one day, you feel a certain presence beside you... that would be me, loving you wherever I am.'' ♥ HG: ❀ Fiorellino's ❀ (any color) 39 - 39.5, nude VPs sz 38.5 - 39 UHG: Black or Ivory Jaws sz 38.5 - 39

Jun 28th, 2009, 09:58 AM	#7
rainrowan INFJ Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 3,907	I'd have her bring a friend along, and go to one of those kids fun places, girls clothing and jewelry stores or Build-A-Bear stations at the mall. It is a lot less awkward that way. For want of a better phrase, you and the daughter can feel each other out from each your own vantage point without being in each other's faces or risk giving a first impression and still have a good time with the your BF, her father. I still do that today, when family comes to town, it can get stressful especially if there is some kind of agenda to the meeting. I enjoy meeting up with them in the city for a meal or visiting museums or parks whether with adults or children.
rainrowan INFJ Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 3,907

Jun 28th, 2009, 10:30 AM	#8
shoegal27 OP shoe addict Joined: Sep 2007 Location: In my own world Posts: 2,764	^^I'm not sure I want her to bring a friend. It will be just him, her and me. Where is the question?
	__________________ Tori "The fact is sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes, that's why we need really special ones every now and then to make the walk a little more fun. ~Carrie Bradshaw~"

Jun 28th, 2009, 10:53 AM	#9
divalicioust Hello Kitty Princess Joined: Jan 2008 Location: South Bay Area, CA Posts: 2,533	I think a fun day where you and your boyfriend are not the focus is a good idea, the zoo, the aquarium, day of shopping/lunch, all great ideas.
	__________________ I LOVE BEING A MOMMY!

Jun 28th, 2009, 10:53 AM	#10
BagLadie Got a handle on it Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 6,993	My only advice to you is to relax. Kids can sense trepidation and anxiety. Be yourself and don't try to win her over. Ask her dad what she likes to do and go from there. Don't push her too hard or try to make her like you.
	__________________ If life hands you lemons, make a vodka and lemonade. Then use the rest on your elbows.

Jun 28th, 2009, 10:56 AM	#11
BagLuver Member Joined: Feb 2006 Location: GA Posts: 6,064	I have 3 stepdaughters, so I've been here! For the first meeting, it should certainly be in a neutral spot and centered around an activity. For instance, you could all play a round of miniature golf together. Also, the first meeting should be relatively short - I would keep it to 2-3 hrs at most. Have a great time!
	__________________ Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, fabulous handbag in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOOHOO, what a ride!"

Jun 29th, 2009, 12:11 AM	#12
SPOILEDkiwi not a kiwi! Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,271	I would avoid shopping and go to a more kid friendly place like the aquarium or the zoo. I don't think there's much conversation that can be made out of a shopping trip. I think at the aquarium or zoo it will be easier to find things to talk about, and it won't be awkward if she's shy and it takes her a little time to start talking to you.
SPOILEDkiwi not a kiwi! Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,271	__________________ “It is the unseen, unforgettable, ultimate accessory of fashion that heralds your arrival and prolongs your departure.” --Coco Chanel

Jun 29th, 2009, 12:19 AM	#13
GUCCI_COOCHIE loves LV! Joined: Jun 2007 Location: OC. Posts: 2,459	Yes, I think a kid friendly place would be better. After doing the activities, have lunch, and call it a day.
	__________________

Jun 29th, 2009, 09:51 AM	#14
Charles Sucks at budgeting Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Fl Posts: 6,129	I agree with Nooch. Just relax and be yourself. DEFINITELY don't try to act like a mother figure. I mean, if she's reaching into a lion cage, say something, but anything less than that should be handled by her dad. Don't buy her anything...just talk and get to know her.
	__________________

Welcome to The Purse Forum.

Our Purse Forum, or TPF, is the #1 online social network for everything designer handbag related. Join over 200,000 enthusiastic members in this friendly community and start engaging in the discussion today.