Major Shock and Heartache- Just wanted to Share...

Pursegrrl · Oct 4th, 2008, 05:17 PM

Marie, I'm sending you boatloads of hugs and prayers from Seattle. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. Have you considered reaching out to a counselor in the meantime?

XXXOO PGal

keodi · Oct 4th, 2008, 08:16 PM

Aww Marie, I'm really sorry that happened to you

. It really sucks that he decided to tell you that out of the blue at least he could have given you a warning?..

MarieG · Oct 4th, 2008, 08:20 PM

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful responses, ladies!

I really appreciate it and it helps so much to be understood. The thing that is still driving m crazy is that he is still so obviously in love with me- every time I run into him he hugs me, tells me how much he misses and loves me. I mean, he wanted to stay living together for another year as roommates!! That's why I'm pretty sure that he was honest when he said that there is definitely no one else. He told me, when I ran into him approx two weeks ago, that he won't have another girlfriend for the next 10 years- what kind of a statement is that?? This stuff seriously mainly upsets me these days! It sometimes even feels like I am the one who broke up with him because of how he behaves now. It genuinely upsets me.

He didn't wanna tell anyone but I obviously had to tell some of my co-workers because I missed work for one day and had to separate all of our formalities etc and one of my co-workers knows one of his co-workers so this co-worker confronted him about it a few weeks after we broke up and he first completely denied that we broke up and then acted as if I did it and everyone consolidated him the whole night- how ridiculous is that?? This all really upsets me honestly.

BagLadie, I really appreciate your honest input but have to agree with EmmaLee- he actually LOVES his new lifestyle now, loved going to uni and loves his new job- he completely excelled at both. He would have definitely not done a whole degree and gotten his new hob and have been working in it successfully since over a year if he wouldn't have loved it. I really appreciate your honest input tough

Bag_obsession · Oct 4th, 2008, 08:46 PM

So sorry this happened to you. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You are absolutely right, to recognize that this person could have very well done this to you if you were married to him. It's better that you had a chance to see what he is capable of before you said "I do". If he really isn't ready for marriage, I give him credit for coming clean before taking that step. I am sorry he chose to end it in such an abrupt way. Stay strong & many hugs to you...good luck moving forward.

robbins65 · Oct 4th, 2008, 08:58 PM

Oh Marie, so sorry this happened to you. Remember you always have your TPF friends to talk to. We are all here for you!

ebayBAGS · Oct 5th, 2008, 12:14 AM

That is so unfair to you.. but like the ladies have said, it might be a blessing because what IF you were sitting with kids in 5 years and he just blurts it out that he just wants to get away.. Make sure you find your own happiness and get your optimism back!

Dawn · Oct 5th, 2008, 12:21 AM

I'm so sorry MarieG!

sweetdreamer16 · Oct 5th, 2008, 02:10 AM

so sorry!!
lots of hugs!!

californiaCRUSH · Oct 5th, 2008, 02:30 AM

I'm sorry that this happened to you but I love your positive outlook. I know it's hard but you're a strong girl and you can survive.

bern · Oct 5th, 2008, 06:55 AM

Oh Marie, I'm so sorry for your heartache. Keep up your positive attitude, as you have everything going for you.

What's for you, won't pass you by

Lululovebags · Oct 5th, 2008, 08:16 AM

i hope you're feeling better..it sucks, what happened.. be strong ok.. (((hugzz)))

bagnshoofetish · Oct 5th, 2008, 02:57 PM

Some guys/gals just seem to snap one day and decide that what they thought they wanted, they really don't want afterall. Its as if the journey of getting them to where they are now was where the thrill was at and anyone who is with them is just "collateral damage". Be glad you found this out about him now. You could have married him after being with him for 2 years and he STILL would have done this to you at this point. Then you would be going through the pain of divorce instead of just a clean break. I've been through similar heartache and I know too well that feeling of having the rug pulled out from under you and having no faith in love or relationships. But what it all taught me in the end is to NEVER put 100% full throttle faith in any one person. Sure you can love someone to death but that doesn't mean even the most perfect man or woman is not going to have flaws and eventually dissappoint you in some way down the line. You gotta extract the fairytale out of relationships and inject reality into each one. Appreciate people for what they bring to the table but never put anything past anyone. No one is perfect and none of us knows what is coming tomorrow or next week or next year. I learned to live in the moment and every day my DH and I spend together happily is a good day and you just can't ask for more than that. We have a pretty solid marriage but I would never presume nothing bad will never happen - its just not realistic. I can only be grateful for every moment we have as long as its good and strong. I cannot control the future, or peoples actions, no one can. So this guy did not turn out to be everything he led you to believe he was. He's not going to change. He may even get worse. But that will be someone elses problem. Concentrate on taking good care of yourself, maybe visiting your folks and friends back home or having one of them come out to visit you. Time heals all wounds and wounds all "heels". The earth keeps turning and every minute brings you that much closer to meeting that special guy who is going to be more settled and less flakey. Don't close the door on love - just tidy up the armor of "self respect" a little and take care of yourself.

It sounds like he is having no problem taking care of himself. (he knows he won't have a gf for at least 10 years? does he have a crystal ball or something? this just makes him sound like someone who is very unrealistic to begin with or just has a problem grasping realities in general).

Kiss Me Deadly · Oct 5th, 2008, 03:11 PM

Hey Marie, So sorry this happened to you..

Over the past years, I remember your story and thought it was so romantic.. thing will get better, just keep your chin up!!

snoozle · Oct 5th, 2008, 07:19 PM

If you helped him grow as a person than it might have been his time to fly the coup and go be with someone else as a new "man" and not the person he was when you met him. It seems like he did a lot of personal growth and maturation thanks to you, I am not surprised that it ended in this way. I was in a similar situation after 7 years, helped the bf become a boy to a man. He I imagine makes a nice husband to someone else and you know what hindsight is 20/20. It hurt like hell to disentangle yourself from someone you loved for so long but in the long run you will find someone better for you. Things will get better, sending supporting thoughts your way.

Megs · Oct 5th, 2008, 08:04 PM

I am so sorry to hear this Marie. But as much as it is really hard on you now, you are completely right about one thing - it is better now than 5 years down the road when you have a family etc.

I hope you are getting the support you need. Any chance of you moving back to be by family?

Oct 4th, 2008, 08:16 PM	#17
keodi Sofa King Done.... Location: ANON	Aww Marie, I'm really sorry that happened to you. It really sucks that he decided to tell you that out of the blue at least he could have given you a warning?.. __________________ NOTE TO SELF: SELF, YOU WILL NOT SPEND UNNECESSARILY!!!

Oct 4th, 2008, 08:20 PM	#18
MarieG ..loves Balenciaga:) Location: Australia	Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful responses, ladies! I really appreciate it and it helps so much to be understood. The thing that is still driving m crazy is that he is still so obviously in love with me- every time I run into him he hugs me, tells me how much he misses and loves me. I mean, he wanted to stay living together for another year as roommates!! That's why I'm pretty sure that he was honest when he said that there is definitely no one else. He told me, when I ran into him approx two weeks ago, that he won't have another girlfriend for the next 10 years- what kind of a statement is that?? This stuff seriously mainly upsets me these days! It sometimes even feels like I am the one who broke up with him because of how he behaves now. It genuinely upsets me. He didn't wanna tell anyone but I obviously had to tell some of my co-workers because I missed work for one day and had to separate all of our formalities etc and one of my co-workers knows one of his co-workers so this co-worker confronted him about it a few weeks after we broke up and he first completely denied that we broke up and then acted as if I did it and everyone consolidated him the whole night- how ridiculous is that?? This all really upsets me honestly. BagLadie, I really appreciate your honest input but have to agree with EmmaLee- he actually LOVES his new lifestyle now, loved going to uni and loves his new job- he completely excelled at both. He would have definitely not done a whole degree and gotten his new hob and have been working in it successfully since over a year if he wouldn't have loved it. I really appreciate your honest input tough __________________ "A girl should be two things: Classy and Fabulous." ~Coco Chanel My Bal Collection Come and Visit My Blog: http://littleslicesofheaven.blogspot.com/

Oct 4th, 2008, 08:46 PM	#19
Bag_obsession LV and MJ obsession	So sorry this happened to you. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You are absolutely right, to recognize that this person could have very well done this to you if you were married to him. It's better that you had a chance to see what he is capable of before you said "I do". If he really isn't ready for marriage, I give him credit for coming clean before taking that step. I am sorry he chose to end it in such an abrupt way. Stay strong & many hugs to you...good luck moving forward. __________________ LV Wishlist: Mahina XL Damier Neverfull GM Souple Whisper GM Mono Speedy 35 Epi Speedy 30 (Red) Marc Jacobs Wishlist: Dark Plum Stam! Current LV Collection: Mono Speedy 25 Damier Speedy Ebene 30 Mono Neverfull MM Galliera PM Mono Keepall 55 Accessories: Damier Cles, Mono Cles,

Oct 5th, 2008, 12:14 AM	#21
ebayBAGS Member	That is so unfair to you.. but like the ladies have said, it might be a blessing because what IF you were sitting with kids in 5 years and he just blurts it out that he just wants to get away.. Make sure you find your own happiness and get your optimism back! __________________ "The best things in life are free. The second best are expensive." Coco Chanel

Oct 5th, 2008, 12:21 AM	#22
Dawn Seriously? Location: Northern Virginia	I'm so sorry MarieG! __________________ Grateful and content with what I have...no more wish list! Slow and steady wins the race! Check my progress every Monday!

Oct 4th, 2008, 05:17 PM	#16
Pursegrrl Oh! That Joe! Location: Seattle	Marie, I'm sending you boatloads of hugs and prayers from Seattle. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. Have you considered reaching out to a counselor in the meantime? XXXOO PGal

Oct 4th, 2008, 08:58 PM	#20
robbins65 Member Location: Cypress, Texas	Oh Marie, so sorry this happened to you. Remember you always have your TPF friends to talk to. We are all here for you!

Oct 5th, 2008, 02:10 AM	#23
sweetdreamer16 Member Location: Vancouver	so sorry!! lots of hugs!! __________________ Visit my blog, for featured amazing giveaways!! Updated daily!! http://thegiveawaydiva.blogspot.com/

Oct 5th, 2008, 02:30 AM	#24
californiaCRUSH Member	I'm sorry that this happened to you but I love your positive outlook. I know it's hard but you're a strong girl and you can survive.

Oct 5th, 2008, 06:55 AM	#25
bern Sandgroper Location: Perth, Australia	Oh Marie, I'm so sorry for your heartache. Keep up your positive attitude, as you have everything going for you. What's for you, won't pass you by

Oct 5th, 2008, 08:16 AM	#26
Lululovebags Member Location: Earth	i hope you're feeling better..it sucks, what happened.. be strong ok.. (((hugzz))) __________________ "keep your head up high. there are ppl that would kill to see you fall".

Oct 5th, 2008, 02:57 PM	#27
bagnshoofetish We Love Our Billy	Some guys/gals just seem to snap one day and decide that what they thought they wanted, they really don't want afterall. Its as if the journey of getting them to where they are now was where the thrill was at and anyone who is with them is just "collateral damage". Be glad you found this out about him now. You could have married him after being with him for 2 years and he STILL would have done this to you at this point. Then you would be going through the pain of divorce instead of just a clean break. I've been through similar heartache and I know too well that feeling of having the rug pulled out from under you and having no faith in love or relationships. But what it all taught me in the end is to NEVER put 100% full throttle faith in any one person. Sure you can love someone to death but that doesn't mean even the most perfect man or woman is not going to have flaws and eventually dissappoint you in some way down the line. You gotta extract the fairytale out of relationships and inject reality into each one. Appreciate people for what they bring to the table but never put anything past anyone. No one is perfect and none of us knows what is coming tomorrow or next week or next year. I learned to live in the moment and every day my DH and I spend together happily is a good day and you just can't ask for more than that. We have a pretty solid marriage but I would never presume nothing bad will never happen - its just not realistic. I can only be grateful for every moment we have as long as its good and strong. I cannot control the future, or peoples actions, no one can. So this guy did not turn out to be everything he led you to believe he was. He's not going to change. He may even get worse. But that will be someone elses problem. Concentrate on taking good care of yourself, maybe visiting your folks and friends back home or having one of them come out to visit you. Time heals all wounds and wounds all "heels". The earth keeps turning and every minute brings you that much closer to meeting that special guy who is going to be more settled and less flakey. Don't close the door on love - just tidy up the armor of "self respect" a little and take care of yourself. It sounds like he is having no problem taking care of himself. (he knows he won't have a gf for at least 10 years? does he have a crystal ball or something? this just makes him sound like someone who is very unrealistic to begin with or just has a problem grasping realities in general). __________________ Please help us: http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...nt-392607.html

Oct 5th, 2008, 03:11 PM	#28
Kiss Me Deadly Woosaaa Location: New York!!	Hey Marie, So sorry this happened to you.. Over the past years, I remember your story and thought it was so romantic.. thing will get better, just keep your chin up!! __________________

Oct 5th, 2008, 07:19 PM	#29
snoozle love being a new mom Location: San Diego County	If you helped him grow as a person than it might have been his time to fly the coup and go be with someone else as a new "man" and not the person he was when you met him. It seems like he did a lot of personal growth and maturation thanks to you, I am not surprised that it ended in this way. I was in a similar situation after 7 years, helped the bf become a boy to a man. He I imagine makes a nice husband to someone else and you know what hindsight is 20/20. It hurt like hell to disentangle yourself from someone you loved for so long but in the long run you will find someone better for you. Things will get better, sending supporting thoughts your way. __________________ ~wishlist more bbags~

Oct 5th, 2008, 08:04 PM	#30
Megs	I am so sorry to hear this Marie. But as much as it is really hard on you now, you are completely right about one thing - it is better now than 5 years down the road when you have a family etc. I hope you are getting the support you need. Any chance of you moving back to be by family? __________________ Enter our fabulous November giveaway sponsored by Adriana Castro!!!! Check out our latest press, Purse Blog in the Miami Herald!