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Charles · Sep 29th, 2009, 09:42 AM

You need to tell you friend to not update you on his FB status.

Zero contact with him..even through friends!

Jeneen · Sep 29th, 2009, 10:48 AM

Give yourself some time my dear - don't contact him for now is my advice - hang with your friends and take care of yourself.

~Fabulousity~ · Sep 29th, 2009, 11:18 AM

agree with the above tell your friends you don't want to hear anything about him, this will help you move on. Good luck!

CEC.LV4eva · Sep 30th, 2009, 12:34 AM

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear your story *hugs*
I recently got out of a relationship with a guy whom I really liked. I think we also moved too fast. He just got out of a relationship with his previous gf and we started dating a month later. I didn't want to start the relationship initially because of this and also because we were co-workers. However, he convinced me he was over her and that we'd be professional at work. He said he's over girls fast once he makes up his mind and that he wouldn't want to sacrifice a potential future with me for someone else in the past. He talked to his buddy who apparently thought he'd evetually end up marrying me cuz he described me as his "ideal" girl. I was really happy with him.
I have to say that before him, I could never get my mind off another guy in the past whom I thought I was in love with when I was a teen. So I've always had relationship problems and commitment issues cuz I always would be reminded of this guy which always ruined whatever current relationship I was in at the time. However, he truly moved me once and his words made me cry with happiness cuz for the first time I thought he might be the guy who could free my mind from being haunted by the guy in the past.

In the end he ended the relationship saying we weren't going to work out and that he wasn't thinking clearly when he told me he was ready for another relationship. He was starting medical school and I was 2 years ahead of him in med school. I was a lot busier than him, he had time to party and drink. When I asked to see him after several weeks of not seeing him, he didn't want to because he wanted to party instead (reason being that he wanted to be on the med council and in order for others to vote for him, he'd have to socialize with others (really EVERY day for a month??? Isn't that enough???)). He's naturally very outgoing, and me much less so. He said that he didn't want to babysit me anymore and that I was being too demanding.

I know how you feel now. And your case is probably worse than mine since your guy started going out with another girl right away.
I actually had the chance of going out with another guy right after him too. My ex did not seem to like him before. This other guy really helped me during a very stressful time for me cuz we broke up just before my surgery rotation exam - we bonded a lot especially since we both ended our relationships on the same weekend. He told me three time how much he liked me, drove me when it was raining in his brand new car, and always said how beautiful I was, and got me flowers. In the end I didnt go out with him cuz I didn't want both of us making the same mistake as what my ex made toward me.
Guess what happened after? He got back together with his ex and told me that guys will always turn back - especially if the girl's hot. I laughed it off. We're good friends now - he's such a jerk, just like my ex. lol See, guys are irrational.
Of all the people I've spoken with, they've all told me I'm better off without him - and I'm sure it's the same case for you. If you would like to chat more just PM me :)

Chabella · Sep 30th, 2009, 02:54 AM

Here is one thing I have learned from guys, as it seems they are the only people I talk to these days. A guy isn't ready to commit until he believes he can commit fully, mind,body, soul. Which means he can provide, protect, and proclaim you as his. Now based on assumption I am guessing you are young. What you should find out is whether you are/were his "friend" or his woman? What did he introduce you as? That says a lot about how he sees you and your relationship with him.

Best of luck to you Gurl!

Fetish · Oct 2nd, 2009, 01:54 AM

"Breaks," especially ones that come out of the blue from one side, are often means to an end. Its like its a simpler way for that person to break things off. Instead of being upfront with you (because he so obviously knew what he wanted in the first place) he decides to give you a glimmer of hope and call it a break? Like, c'mon now. Stop being so cowardly. Im sorry, this just irritates me. Instead of just getting it over with, they decide to take the easier route for themselves instead of taking the easier route for you.

Well hun, all I can say is time will heal the wounds. And dont let this eat you up inside. It hurts but find a way to be STRONG and get over this. Good luck.

missfunkenstein · Oct 12th, 2009, 02:58 PM

wow OP. your story is just like mine! i got dumped a little over a week ago, and i had been dating my guy for 4 months and jsut one week after he left me, he already had a new girl! of course the first couple days were the most difficult, full of crying and regrets...but that's perfectly fine and normal! it's okay to cry and think about the good times, but we all know that your relationship was not perfect. did he push your boundaries? did he ever hurt your feelings and not apologize?

give yourself some time to sit and relax. take things slow and take one day at a time. the fact that he moved on so quickly means that yes, it is possible for you to move on as well. i know it will be hard but know that if it was meant to be, you guys would still be together. he may seem perfect right now, but realize that a guy who TRULY cared for you and who TRULY loved you would not have left you. there is another guy out there who will love you and will realize how special and beautiful you are as a person. obviously your ex did not.

move on sweetie! i know it's tough but i'm in the exact same boat you are. we can move on to better men together, okay? :]

tiffthegreat · Oct 12th, 2009, 03:30 PM

this is all too familiar to me.

My ex was my first boyfriend, and we were dating for 4 months EVERYTHING was perfect, i was in love, it was forever, then one night i IMed him like i did every night and he just broke up with me. I was soo confused there were no signs. I was devastated, then 4 days later his best friend told me he missed me and he told me he cried and he's never cried over a girl before and we got back together, only to break up three months later, then get back together after a month, then break up again some more months later.

I know it hurts but i would honestly advise you to just try to get over him, I feel like it's going to be a trend with him ( like with my ex) if you continue the relationship.( Alot of ) Guys are afraid of commitment, that was what the problem with my ex was, and as much as he loved me, the thought of being with me forever scared him ( that's what he told me). It never made sense to me then and it still doesn't now.

For me it sucked that we dated for 10 months on and off before it finally ended for good. The longer it's dragged out, the worse. So i'd be grateful he didn't drag it out for longer.

i hope you feel better <3

flowerbobon · Oct 12th, 2009, 10:02 PM

it's normal,people come people go.the only different is how we face it.

Sep 29th, 2009, 09:42 AM	#46
Charles Sucks at budgeting Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Fl Posts: 6,191	You need to tell you friend to not update you on his FB status. Zero contact with him..even through friends!
	__________________

Sep 29th, 2009, 10:48 AM	#47
Jeneen Member Joined: Feb 2009 Location: up in the gym workin on my fitness Posts: 2,752	Give yourself some time my dear - don't contact him for now is my advice - hang with your friends and take care of yourself.
	__________________ *Jeneen* Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you. - dbf's fortune cookie

Sep 29th, 2009, 11:18 AM	#48
~Fabulousity~ Member Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 12,925	agree with the above tell your friends you don't want to hear anything about him, this will help you move on. Good luck!
~Fabulousity~ Member Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 12,925

Sep 30th, 2009, 12:34 AM	#49
CEC.LV4eva The Unconventional Nerd Joined: Jun 2006 Location: In my own world! Posts: 8,431	Hi, I'm so sorry to hear your story hugs I recently got out of a relationship with a guy whom I really liked. I think we also moved too fast. He just got out of a relationship with his previous gf and we started dating a month later. I didn't want to start the relationship initially because of this and also because we were co-workers. However, he convinced me he was over her and that we'd be professional at work. He said he's over girls fast once he makes up his mind and that he wouldn't want to sacrifice a potential future with me for someone else in the past. He talked to his buddy who apparently thought he'd evetually end up marrying me cuz he described me as his "ideal" girl. I was really happy with him. I have to say that before him, I could never get my mind off another guy in the past whom I thought I was in love with when I was a teen. So I've always had relationship problems and commitment issues cuz I always would be reminded of this guy which always ruined whatever current relationship I was in at the time. However, he truly moved me once and his words made me cry with happiness cuz for the first time I thought he might be the guy who could free my mind from being haunted by the guy in the past. In the end he ended the relationship saying we weren't going to work out and that he wasn't thinking clearly when he told me he was ready for another relationship. He was starting medical school and I was 2 years ahead of him in med school. I was a lot busier than him, he had time to party and drink. When I asked to see him after several weeks of not seeing him, he didn't want to because he wanted to party instead (reason being that he wanted to be on the med council and in order for others to vote for him, he'd have to socialize with others (really EVERY day for a month??? Isn't that enough???)). He's naturally very outgoing, and me much less so. He said that he didn't want to babysit me anymore and that I was being too demanding. I know how you feel now. And your case is probably worse than mine since your guy started going out with another girl right away. I actually had the chance of going out with another guy right after him too. My ex did not seem to like him before. This other guy really helped me during a very stressful time for me cuz we broke up just before my surgery rotation exam - we bonded a lot especially since we both ended our relationships on the same weekend. He told me three time how much he liked me, drove me when it was raining in his brand new car, and always said how beautiful I was, and got me flowers. In the end I didnt go out with him cuz I didn't want both of us making the same mistake as what my ex made toward me. Guess what happened after? He got back together with his ex and told me that guys will always turn back - especially if the girl's hot. I laughed it off. We're good friends now - he's such a jerk, just like my ex. lol See, guys are irrational. Of all the people I've spoken with, they've all told me I'm better off without him - and I'm sure it's the same case for you. If you would like to chat more just PM me :)
	__________________ My Shoe Collection LV Grenadines-Mini Lin Ébène CL Bébé-Fusée-Blanc Vernice CL Simple 85-Kid Black CL Orniron 100-Black CL Sigourney 100-Brown Laminato CL Drapiday 120-Purple Suede CL Triclo 100-Patent Black CL Décolzep 120-Kid Black CL Short Tina 120-Fuschia Suede CL Ron Ron 100-Patent Pink JC Colorado-Patent Red CL Eventa MJ 85-Brown Glitterart JC Colorado-Patent Smoke CL Very Galaxy 100-Fuxia Miroir CL Rolande Bouclé 120-Geranium Suede CL Piros 120-Black Suede Last edited by CEC.LV4eva; Sep 30th, 2009 at 01:02 AM.

Oct 2nd, 2009, 01:54 AM	#51
Fetish Sofa King Banned Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 93	"Breaks," especially ones that come out of the blue from one side, are often means to an end. Its like its a simpler way for that person to break things off. Instead of being upfront with you (because he so obviously knew what he wanted in the first place) he decides to give you a glimmer of hope and call it a break? Like, c'mon now. Stop being so cowardly. Im sorry, this just irritates me. Instead of just getting it over with, they decide to take the easier route for themselves instead of taking the easier route for you. Well hun, all I can say is time will heal the wounds. And dont let this eat you up inside. It hurts but find a way to be STRONG and get over this. Good luck.
Fetish Sofa King Banned Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 93

Sep 30th, 2009, 02:54 AM	#50
Chabella Mwuah! BEAUTIFUL!! Joined: Apr 2009 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 26	Here is one thing I have learned from guys, as it seems they are the only people I talk to these days. A guy isn't ready to commit until he believes he can commit fully, mind,body, soul. Which means he can provide, protect, and proclaim you as his. Now based on assumption I am guessing you are young. What you should find out is whether you are/were his "friend" or his woman? What did he introduce you as? That says a lot about how he sees you and your relationship with him. Best of luck to you Gurl!

Oct 12th, 2009, 02:58 PM	#52
missfunkenstein Member Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 16	wow OP. your story is just like mine! i got dumped a little over a week ago, and i had been dating my guy for 4 months and jsut one week after he left me, he already had a new girl! of course the first couple days were the most difficult, full of crying and regrets...but that's perfectly fine and normal! it's okay to cry and think about the good times, but we all know that your relationship was not perfect. did he push your boundaries? did he ever hurt your feelings and not apologize? give yourself some time to sit and relax. take things slow and take one day at a time. the fact that he moved on so quickly means that yes, it is possible for you to move on as well. i know it will be hard but know that if it was meant to be, you guys would still be together. he may seem perfect right now, but realize that a guy who TRULY cared for you and who TRULY loved you would not have left you. there is another guy out there who will love you and will realize how special and beautiful you are as a person. obviously your ex did not. move on sweetie! i know it's tough but i'm in the exact same boat you are. we can move on to better men together, okay? :]
missfunkenstein Member Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 16

Oct 12th, 2009, 03:30 PM	#53
tiffthegreat Member Joined: Jan 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 367	this is all too familiar to me. My ex was my first boyfriend, and we were dating for 4 months EVERYTHING was perfect, i was in love, it was forever, then one night i IMed him like i did every night and he just broke up with me. I was soo confused there were no signs. I was devastated, then 4 days later his best friend told me he missed me and he told me he cried and he's never cried over a girl before and we got back together, only to break up three months later, then get back together after a month, then break up again some more months later. I know it hurts but i would honestly advise you to just try to get over him, I feel like it's going to be a trend with him ( like with my ex) if you continue the relationship.( Alot of ) Guys are afraid of commitment, that was what the problem with my ex was, and as much as he loved me, the thought of being with me forever scared him ( that's what he told me). It never made sense to me then and it still doesn't now. For me it sucked that we dated for 10 months on and off before it finally ended for good. The longer it's dragged out, the worse. So i'd be grateful he didn't drag it out for longer. i hope you feel better <3
	__________________ "the most important thing we can do at this stage of our lives is to ensure we enjoy it, let whatever comes, come, don't get too committed, but at the same time if you find something good don't throw it away, you have to be smart."

Oct 12th, 2009, 10:02 PM	#54
flowerbobon meow! Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 967	it's normal,people come people go.the only different is how we face it.
flowerbobon meow! Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 967	__________________ my wishlist: boy, too many to list, I guess I just grab everything that I want.

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