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~Fabulousity~ · Sep 23rd, 2009, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

the "best thing" would not be breaking your heart right now. There was something inside him he wasn't communicating with you. That does not make a good foundation for a relationship. He only let you see what made you happy. The best thing that ever happened to you, hasn't happened yet but it will.

so true! and OP to add at least he actually broke things off with you and didn't run around cheating behind your back. I know that doesn't seem like much now but it really is great that you don't have to deal with that type of heartbreak, heartbreak caused by betrayal is the worst.

nsynchic20 · Sep 23rd, 2009, 04:57 PM

Originally Posted by ~Fabulousity~

so true! and OP to add at least he actually broke things off with you and didn't run around cheating behind your back. I know that doesn't seem like much now but it really is great that you don't have to deal with that type of heartbreak, heartbreak caused by betrayal is the worst.

My previous ex cheated on me...and I feel like this is worse than being cheated on...cuz being cheated on gives you a reason to let go and to dislike the person...right now I still haven't found my reason to let go...

leslieluu · Sep 23rd, 2009, 05:49 PM

Ok here's my take...from my experience...I had a relationship with a guy that lasted one month about five years ago...things moved too quickly, we had both just gotten out of long relationships he had recently divorced. We went our separate ways in semi bad terms he thought I was getting to attached...two years later we run into each other again we talk...I tell him I'm tired of dating, I want to settle down, get married, have kids...he told me he was tired of being out and about that he always thought about me as his perfect girl but he knew the time wasn't right the first time. We started talking and we have been together for 3 years...a happy 3 years. You just never know a lot of guys get scared once they start getting feelings for someone. I would advice you to let him be don't call him try to stay busy, live your life...I know it hurts but if it's meant to be it will be. I never ever thought we would ever get back together and we did.

CCfor C · Sep 23rd, 2009, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by nsynchic20

Thanks everyone. I'm trying really really hard to believe and understand what you all are saying...its just so hard to see it right now...all I keep thinking is how I've lost the best thing that's happened to me.

Well, maybe is ISN'T the best thing that's happened to you. Because he obviously doesn't feel the same way. Maybe you've yet to experience the "best thing"...because to me, it's when BOTH of you are on the same page. He obviously has issues. I know it hurts. But why be w/someone who doesn't know what he wants? Life is too short.

Oh, yea...just read Bagnshoo's post...yep...totally agree!!

vhdos · Sep 23rd, 2009, 09:00 PM

I know it doesn't make things any easier, but it's better to deal with it at 4 months rather than 4 years (or more). So sorry to hear about your break-up OP. They are never easy, regardless of the circumstances. Give yourself some time to heal.

bagnshoofetish · Sep 23rd, 2009, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by nsynchic20

My previous ex cheated on me...and I feel like this is worse than being cheated on...cuz being cheated on gives you a reason to let go and to dislike the person...right now I still haven't found my reason to let go...

you don't ever have to dislike him. heck, you guys may even end up being friends down the road. you do have to let go though and eventually you will - only you know when that time will be. no rush. just allow it to happen naturally.

nsynchic20 · Sep 24th, 2009, 12:07 AM

Well right now I'm feeling a whole lotta things.

Apparently this jerk has already been on a freaking double date with some $#*&^$%@ that we work with!!!!!!!! And he's going on another double date with her tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday night he went bowling and tonight he's going to see the Wizard of Oz thing in theaters.

I wish it was that freakin easy for me to get over him!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess at least now I have my reason to dislike him...dislike being an understatement... So much for him wanting to be single!!!!!

bagnshoofetish · Sep 24th, 2009, 12:58 AM

^^^^and theres your reason to let him go! he's moving on. now its your turn.

Charles · Sep 24th, 2009, 09:09 AM

Originally Posted by nsynchic20

I guess at least now I have my reason to dislike him...dislike being an understatement... So much for him wanting to be single!!!!!

Dating other people IS part of being single.

Best thing you can do is stop worrying about him. Don't talk to him or ask people about him.

~Fabulousity~ · Sep 24th, 2009, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by nsynchic20

My previous ex cheated on me...and I feel like this is worse than being cheated on...cuz being cheated on gives you a reason to let go and to dislike the person...right now I still haven't found my reason to let go...

He doesn't want to be with you is reason enough to let go IMO, when you're with the right person he will want you and everything that comes with you.

nsynchic20 · Sep 28th, 2009, 11:53 PM

I am trying so hard to get over him...and I'm sick of feeling like I want to get back together with him....

I was doing well for a couple days, and today my friend texted me randomly and saw on facebook that he is in a relationship with this girl he has been hanging out with for a week!

I am in shock, I am confused, I'm hurt, but I'm not angry with him....I want to be, but all I can think about is that I still want to be with him...

I know I probably sound pathetic, I'm sorry, but this is honestly the worst breakup I've been through...I can't eat...I'm starving but when I eat I feel so sick. I can't sleep...and all I do is think about him. And I really don't have very many friends to keep me distracted...

Ok...sad rant over.

rowie1985 · Sep 29th, 2009, 03:44 AM

That's awful about the facebook thing. The best thing for you to do is just try to get over it (hard to do I know) and move on. He's obviously over you and not interested in getting back together so you have to try to move and forward with your life.

gina2328 · Sep 29th, 2009, 07:58 AM

The only thing that I could pick up from your relationship with this guy is that it moved reallly fast and you saw a lot of each other. Those are two things that can kill a relationship fast and early on. Lesson learned is not to make that mistake again with a great guy you meet again in the future. The woman needs to pace the relationship because the man will not do that. Also, keep your independence, girlfriends, hobbies, etc. I already see this guy doing the same thing again with another woman, moving really fast. I don't think this new relationship will last long either.

~Fabulousity~ · Sep 29th, 2009, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by gina2328

the only thing that i could pick up from your relationship with this guy is that it moved reallly fast and you saw a lot of each other. Those are two things that can kill a relationship fast and early on. Lesson learned is not to make that mistake again with a great guy you meet again in the future. The woman needs to pace the relationship because the man will not do that. Also, keep your independence, girlfriends, hobbies, etc. I already see this guy doing the same thing again with another woman, moving really fast. I don't think this new relationship will last long either.

agreed.

~Fabulousity~ · Sep 29th, 2009, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by nsynchic20

I am trying so hard to get over him...and I'm sick of feeling like I want to get back together with him....

I was doing well for a couple days, and today my friend texted me randomly and saw on facebook that he is in a relationship with this girl he has been hanging out with for a week!

I am in shock, I am confused, I'm hurt, but I'm not angry with him....I want to be, but all I can think about is that I still want to be with him...

I know I probably sound pathetic, I'm sorry, but this is honestly the worst breakup I've been through...I can't eat...I'm starving but when I eat I feel so sick. I can't sleep...and all I do is think about him. And I really don't have very many friends to keep me distracted...

Ok...sad rant over.

Sep 23rd, 2009, 05:49 PM	#33
leslieluu Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 289	Ok here's my take...from my experience...I had a relationship with a guy that lasted one month about five years ago...things moved too quickly, we had both just gotten out of long relationships he had recently divorced. We went our separate ways in semi bad terms he thought I was getting to attached...two years later we run into each other again we talk...I tell him I'm tired of dating, I want to settle down, get married, have kids...he told me he was tired of being out and about that he always thought about me as his perfect girl but he knew the time wasn't right the first time. We started talking and we have been together for 3 years...a happy 3 years. You just never know a lot of guys get scared once they start getting feelings for someone. I would advice you to let him be don't call him try to stay busy, live your life...I know it hurts but if it's meant to be it will be. I never ever thought we would ever get back together and we did.
leslieluu Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 289

Sep 23rd, 2009, 09:00 PM	#35
vhdos Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,136	I know it doesn't make things any easier, but it's better to deal with it at 4 months rather than 4 years (or more). So sorry to hear about your break-up OP. They are never easy, regardless of the circumstances. Give yourself some time to heal.
vhdos Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,136	__________________ visit Bonanzle.com

Sep 24th, 2009, 12:07 AM	#37
nsynchic20 OP Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 305	Well right now I'm feeling a whole lotta things. Apparently this jerk has already been on a freaking double date with some $#*&^$%@ that we work with!!!!!!!! And he's going on another double date with her tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sunday night he went bowling and tonight he's going to see the Wizard of Oz thing in theaters. I wish it was that freakin easy for me to get over him!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess at least now I have my reason to dislike him...dislike being an understatement... So much for him wanting to be single!!!!!
	__________________ Need to save some $$$ right now, so no purses for me! Last edited by nsynchic20; Sep 24th, 2009 at 12:12 AM.

Sep 24th, 2009, 12:58 AM	#38
bagnshoofetish keep smiling.... Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 20,358	^^^^and theres your reason to let him go! he's moving on. now its your turn.
	__________________

Sep 28th, 2009, 11:53 PM	#41
nsynchic20 OP Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 305	I am trying so hard to get over him...and I'm sick of feeling like I want to get back together with him.... I was doing well for a couple days, and today my friend texted me randomly and saw on facebook that he is in a relationship with this girl he has been hanging out with for a week! I am in shock, I am confused, I'm hurt, but I'm not angry with him....I want to be, but all I can think about is that I still want to be with him... I know I probably sound pathetic, I'm sorry, but this is honestly the worst breakup I've been through...I can't eat...I'm starving but when I eat I feel so sick. I can't sleep...and all I do is think about him. And I really don't have very many friends to keep me distracted... Ok...sad rant over.
	__________________ Need to save some $$$ right now, so no purses for me!

Sep 29th, 2009, 03:44 AM	#42
rowie1985 Member Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 546	That's awful about the facebook thing. The best thing for you to do is just try to get over it (hard to do I know) and move on. He's obviously over you and not interested in getting back together so you have to try to move and forward with your life.

Sep 29th, 2009, 07:58 AM	#43
gina2328 Member Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 624	The only thing that I could pick up from your relationship with this guy is that it moved reallly fast and you saw a lot of each other. Those are two things that can kill a relationship fast and early on. Lesson learned is not to make that mistake again with a great guy you meet again in the future. The woman needs to pace the relationship because the man will not do that. Also, keep your independence, girlfriends, hobbies, etc. I already see this guy doing the same thing again with another woman, moving really fast. I don't think this new relationship will last long either.
	__________________ Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman -- Coco Chanel

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