Just got dumped :(

[talexs]

I'm so sorry, this will suck for a bit and you will feel sad. I would almost embrace it and be in a funk, cry if you need to, and lean on the people who care about you and want to help you through this. Who knows why he did what he did, but you deserve someone who wants to be with you. Time will help, and also, if I were you I would cut off all communication, that only ever seems to prolong these less than pleasant feelings. Hang in there

[GirlFriday]

I'm sorry for your situation. I think it it's harder to break up in the new phase of a relationship because everything seems perfect and you always wonder "what if?" But like others have said, be glad he didn't draw it out over years. At least you know and you can eventually move on.

[kristie]

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

I have no clue what this guy is thinking. If you wanna see this from a glass "half full" perspective: Be glad he didn't draw this out in a confusing convoluted twist and turns sort of way that could have gone on for weeks or months. Be glad it did end quickly - just think of it like having a band-aid ripped clean off in one swipe. Painful for a moment but the pain will go away. Be glad you found out how undecisive he is now rather than 4 years from now. Gives you time to lick your wounds and prepare yourself for the guy who is really meant for you. (and that guy could be going through something just as painful right now too!) Just trust the process. Eat lots of ice cream and you always have us here to just vent to or to get a laugh from (hopefully). Take care of yourself.

Well said Shoo!

OP, read the book, It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken It is HILARIOUS and you will feel like a super goddess after reading it, truly, go buy it....it will do you a world of good. *hugs* you will be ok

[petitechouchou]

Sorry this happened to you. It sucks and you will get through it; hang in there!

[BagLadie]

All I can say is I'm sorry. I know the heartache a breakup can bring and how unbearable it can be. :(

[Charles]

Originally Posted by nsynchic20

Thanks everyone. I'm trying really really hard to believe and understand what you all are saying...its just so hard to see it right now...all I keep thinking is how I've lost the best thing that's happened to me.

I've thought that a few times in my life. Guess what...something better always came along.

I know it's hard to let go, but for whatever reason, he doesn't want to be with you, and that's really all you need to know. His reasons are peripheral here.
Let him go so he can do whatever it is that he feels he needs to do. If you two meet up later in life, then maybe it was meant to be.

[bagaholic85]

Quote:

Everything was great...almost perfect. We didn't fight, we were so happy together. I thought that he was it for me.

this stood out to me. maybe you thought everything was great, almost perfect, so happy and not fighting. it sounds like he didnt agree. i dont know if i agree with everyone else's posts that he has commitment issues. i think u guys had communication issues.

4 months together of "taking it fast" there shouldve been some fighting, tension, etc. fighting isnt a bad thing. i would be willing to put money on the fact that he had some things he wasnt happy about and never communicated to you. that is why a) your so shocked, and b) u never fought.

[Angelfangs]

This sucks...I'm sorry you're left confused and hurting. Do yourself a favor, have a really great cry, then brush yourself off (literally). APATHY is the best way to drive a dagger through his heart........and when he realizes it's actually HIS loss, make sure you don't chase the snake that bites.......

[bagnshoofetish]

Originally Posted by nsynchic20

...all I keep thinking is how I've lost the best thing that's happened to me.

the "best thing" would not be breaking your heart right now. There was something inside him he wasn't communicating with you. That does not make a good foundation for a relationship. He only let you see what made you happy. The best thing that ever happened to you, hasn't happened yet but it will.

[Luccibag]

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

the "best thing" would not be breaking your heart right now. There was something inside him he wasn't communicating with you. That does not make a good foundation for a relationship. He only let you see what made you happy. The best thing that ever happened to you, hasn't happened yet but it will.

Very well said!

[talexs]

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

the "best thing" would not be breaking your heart right now. There was something inside him he wasn't communicating with you. That does not make a good foundation for a relationship. He only let you see what made you happy. The best thing that ever happened to you, hasn't happened yet but it will.

Very well said. And if it makes you feel any better about 8 months ago I was crying and thought that I had lost the "best thing" to ever happen to me, and for me that was the worst feeling in the world, but Shoo is right and if he was the best thing for you this wouldn't have happened. It took a little bit of time but trust me it does get better, and that feeling goes away.

[sonya]

I am sorry you are going through a tough time. :( A similar thing just happened to me recently. The guy disappeared and then when I ran into him a few days ago he freaked out on me. He apologized later multiple times. His situation is that he is immature. Something bad happened to him over the summer, so now he just wants to have fun and not be so involved (to numb the pain). I feel so drained by the situation because we liked each other a lot and we got along so well. But he does not have the emotional capacity to be with someone right now. I am trying to be supportive by giving him space and being understanding, but it still sucks. I just feel empty. This was a guy I really liked, and I was dumped even though he thought I was wonderful and "better than him" (his words), he just needs to be alone now.

Anyway, it is not your fault. It is him. I know that doesn't change how sad or disappointed you feel, but no matter how perfect you are for him, or you two were together, if the guy isn't ready, he isn't ready. And it is much better you found out now, rather than later.

[nsynchic20]

Thanks again everyone. I've just had foot surgery and can't really do anything, so I've had too much time to think and overanalyze...and it sucks...one minute I'm fine, and the next I feel like my world is falling apart.

I'm trying so hard to see that he's obviously not right for me...but I just keep thinking back to our relationship, and how well he treated me and how happy I was...

[turboflgrl]

Originally Posted by nsynchic20

Thanks again everyone. I've just had foot surgery and can't really do anything, so I've had too much time to think and overanalyze...and it sucks...one minute I'm fine, and the next I feel like my world is falling apart. I'm trying so hard to see that he's obviously not right for me...but I just keep thinking back to our relationship, and how well he treated me and how happy I was...

Just remember that the first few months to even the first year of a relationship are always euphoric. It is too short of a time to really say that he was the "best thing" that ever happened to you. In fact, no man is. Don't sell yourself short.

[bagnshoofetish]

Originally Posted by nsynchic20

bviously not right for me...but I just keep thinking back to our relationship, and how well he treated me and how happy I was...

I'm sure he isn't a monster or anything but everyone is always on the best behavior in the beginning. You fell for that "New Car Smell". The minute another guy sweeps you off your feet, this guy will be a distant memory.