Is this the right decision to make?

[littlerock]

Updates?? I truly hope this guy is a goner! What an ASS!!

[iceflower]

I don't think she's going to leave him. She posted this today in her handbag thread. I hope she was being facetious but considering she hasn't returned to this thread...

Jenna, you deserve better. His buying you CLs and handbags isn't enough to make up for his horrible behavior and treatment of you.

Originally Posted by msJenna

Yes. I LOVE Chanel. The next bags I want are another Balenciaga a red jumbo chanel annnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddddddd the marc by marc I posted. marc first. The boyfriend can get me the chanel bag for my birthday in november. and the bal will come sometime between then. Can't believe I have to spend $1000 on brakes and tires. freaking bmws :'(

[Queen_Kitty]

Please, please, dump him. This is not a guy you want to be with, even if he does some nice things. Find a guy that only does nice things, that's what you and your sweet little dog deserve. If you feel like you can't do it in person, just call him on the phone or even text him and tell him you're breaking up with him, honestly I don't think that would be the right thing to do in normal circumstances, but this guy doesn't deserve respect anyways! He's walking all over you, and even though I don't know you I'll be so upset if you stay with him :(

[Jeneen]

Sigh :(

[ver0nique]

Originally Posted by iceflower

I don't think she's going to leave him. She posted this today in her handbag thread. I hope she was being facetious but considering she hasn't returned to this thread...

[msJenna]

Oh I see the ladies have been doing some purse forum searching and quoting.

So I'll be honest.

Here goes.

I'm not going to excuse his behavior. I think it's crap.

In his defense (not that he deserves one)
his dogs like to play rough and he had a little dog that liked to be tangled in blankets and tossed around and she would go crazy wagging her tail and thought it was great. So I think he thinks all dogs should be that playful.
But I'm not excusing it. Just because his dog was like that, doesn't mean mine is.

And he grew up in a family that always told him that it was okay to break off plans whenever he wanted.

We went to Mexico together and the day before we were set to go, one of his family members told him to bail out on the trip, for no other reason than "Don't go on the trip. A (insert last name here) can always break off plans".

So he has absolutely no idea that what he is doing is not acceptable because he's been raised that it's okay to do which I don't understand because I don't think that is right.

And we spend probably 3 quality nights together a week, and the other days he spends with his friends and it pretty much goes that if I want to come over when he is done playing his games with his friends I can.

Okay so with that being said I'll be completely honest.

The night he left to asia I told him I wanted to break up.

And I literally said

when you come back from Asia, you completely change, learn to be more respectful and make me happy or you're getting dumped.

I'm not even sure at this point if I want to give him a chance to prove himself.

But you never know, if I am going to dump him anyways what is the harm in giving him three days to prove himself?

He'll either turn into a great boyfriend or he'll only assure me that I am 10000000000% making the right decision to dump him.

I'm not putting up with that treatment anymore whatsoever. I don't deserve it. So he either becomes a great boyfriend or he can go hang out with some crackheads or something. Whatever floats his boat.

But thanks for the advice.

There was a big thing over christmas where I dumped him because he was treating me HORRIBLY like wow let's not even get into it...and I started seeing one of his friends for three weeks and he'd stand outside my window crying and throwing snowballs at my window to get my attention...it was pretty cute. I know he cares about me in his own screwed up way. So he can learn to act in accordance to his feelings or get gone.

It's not a huge loss if he can't treat me right.

No more of this crap seriosusly.

The support/advice is excellent.

Much appreciated...even the constructive critism...wow I can't spell that word.

Thanks so much ladies <3

[Charles]

Originally Posted by msJenna

I'm not going to excuse his behavior. I think it's crap.

That's exactly what you're doing. You're rationalizing his behavior.

I'm sure Ted Bundy and Wayne Gacy didn't know any better either, but they were still despicable people.

Point is...he's an ass. Doesn't matter how he was raised, that's what he is now. Now, if you're fine with dating an ass, great (well not really, cause that would show some co-dependancy issues that would need to be addressed), but expect a lot of heartache and pain down the road.

There are PLENTY of men out there that will treat you kindly.

[Nieners]

Well.... if there's no love, there's at least a Chanel bag. Right?

[/sarcasm]

[amymaria]

Leave him despite how he changes or what happens. His changes will most likely be temporary - to win you back - and once you settle back into routine he will go back to his A**hole ways.

I've been there, done that.
Trust me, there are better guys out there who will treat you better.

[nataliam1976]

Originally Posted by msJenna

Oh I see the ladies have been doing some purse forum searching and quoting. So I'll be honest. Here goes. I'm not going to excuse his behavior. I think it's crap. In his defense (not that he deserves one) his dogs like to play rough and he had a little dog that liked to be tangled in blankets and tossed around and she would go crazy wagging her tail and thought it was great. So I think he thinks all dogs should be that playful. But I'm not excusing it. Just because his dog was like that, doesn't mean mine is. And he grew up in a family that always told him that it was okay to break off plans whenever he wanted. We went to Mexico together and the day before we were set to go, one of his family members told him to bail out on the trip, for no other reason than "Don't go on the trip. A (insert last name here) can always break off plans". So he has absolutely no idea that what he is doing is not acceptable because he's been raised that it's okay to do which I don't understand because I don't think that is right. And we spend probably 3 quality nights together a week, and the other days he spends with his friends and it pretty much goes that if I want to come over when he is done playing his games with his friends I can. Okay so with that being said I'll be completely honest. The night he left to asia I told him I wanted to break up. And I literally said when you come back from Asia, you completely change, learn to be more respectful and make me happy or you're getting dumped. I'm not even sure at this point if I want to give him a chance to prove himself. But you never know, if I am going to dump him anyways what is the harm in giving him three days to prove himself? He'll either turn into a great boyfriend or he'll only assure me that I am 10000000000% making the right decision to dump him. I'm not putting up with that treatment anymore whatsoever. I don't deserve it. So he either becomes a great boyfriend or he can go hang out with some crackheads or something. Whatever floats his boat. But thanks for the advice. There was a big thing over christmas where I dumped him because he was treating me HORRIBLY like wow let's not even get into it...and I started seeing one of his friends for three weeks and he'd stand outside my window crying and throwing snowballs at my window to get my attention...it was pretty cute. I know he cares about me in his own screwed up way. So he can learn to act in accordance to his feelings or get gone. It's not a huge loss if he can't treat me right. No more of this crap seriosusly. The support/advice is excellent. Much appreciated...even the constructive critism...wow I can't spell that word. Thanks so much ladies <3

I really understand where you are coming from, I do. But read what you wrote, its full of sentences that exclude each other.

1."I'm not going to excuse his behavior. I think it's crap." and in the very next line "in his defense". Seriously ! if he doesnt deserve the defense, why waste time typing it?

2. You say he was raised this way so he doesnt know any better. But he does, becasue you said yourself that you told him his behaviour is not what you want/need/expect/deserve and you dont treat himt he way he treats you so he knows there are other ways. The way people were raised cannot be excuse for anything.

3. Then you say "But you never know, if I am going to dump him anyways what is the harm in giving him three days to prove himself?" Well if you are going to dump him anyways, why waste another 3 days of your life on him?

4. "There was a big thing over christmas where I dumped him because he was treating me HORRIBLY ". Did ANYTHING change after you let him get back with you? didnt think so.


last chance, bla bla bla, many of us have been here before. Dont count on a miracle though, it aint gonna happen. And I wouldnt be surprised if he behaves great for those 3 days or even a bit longer to put you at ease and then goes back to his old ways. thats what happened to me.

good luck girl.

[bagnshoofetish]

Originally Posted by msJenna

He'll either turn into a great boyfriend ...

How many chances have you given him to do this? and you think this time it is going to be different???????????????? I'm guessing you just need a truckload of bricks to fall on your head. To each his own.

Originally Posted by msJenna

..and I started seeing one of his friends for three weeks and he'd stand outside my window crying and throwing snowballs at my window to get my attention...it was pretty cute.

The fact that you think any of his behavior is cute tells me that you are the one attracting this kind of guy. This kind of guy knows he can get away with anything with you cause you make excuses for him and think some things are "cute". If and when you break up with this guy, stop yourself from attracting guys like this or I guarantee you, you will just end up with another of the same.

[LeeMiller]

He won't change, people just don't change like that. Also, if he does it will be temporary.

Frankly, Chanel bags aren't worth a jerk! My DH didn't have that much money when I met him, but he always treated me with love and respect and he puts me first. The Chanels came later, lol, but if he wasn't soooo good to me I wouldn't have fallen in love. I think you have some self esteem issues to be with someone like this.

[lorihmatthews]

Originally Posted by msJenna

There was a big thing over christmas where I dumped him because he was treating me HORRIBLY like wow let's not even get into it...and I started seeing one of his friends for three weeks and he'd stand outside my window crying and throwing snowballs at my window to get my attention...it was pretty cute. I know he cares about me in his own screwed up way. So he can learn to act in accordance to his feelings or get gone.

Throwing things at your window is violent and is also almost vandalism. Maybe even bordering on stalking. It is NOT "cute."

Seriously, save up for your own handbag and find someone who is worthy of your attention.

[Jeneen]

MsJenna - I'm glad you realize the criticism is constructive. None of us know you or the bf...

I think people are very passionate about this because they are recognizing he is emotionally messing with you and we want you to get out of this relationship so things don't get worse or escalate. I know he must care about you somewhere - but his ways of caring are not healthy and appropriate ways to show someone you care. Your bf may be a good guy underneath, and yes, he may learn to grow and change, but you don't have to be the one he takes out his anger on and doesn't treat like a princess while he is working on the growing and changing. You don't have to be the emotional punching bag for him to deal with his issues.

Take a step back and see how you feel while he is gone.

[redney]

OP, it's a shame you're wasting time with this frog when you could be experiencing a real prince in someone else.

Once you experience how a good, decent man treats you, you'll kick yourself in the head for wasting as much time as you have with the current loser.