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ilove6kies · Jul 4th, 2009, 02:17 AM

Lol omg I have that book too!!! It is hilarious...I also have the second one

Funny story...one time I asked my DH to get this book for me from the book store. Instead of asking "Do you guy have Why Men Love B*tches", he asked the girl rather loudly for "White Men Love B*tches"...the girl gave him the nastiest look, lol

Originally Posted by Speedah

Not to sound corny or anything, this book changed my life. It just might help you too.

stcouture · Jul 4th, 2009, 02:20 AM

MsJenna, I really think that it has all gone out of context. I understand that certain things were said that offended you. Just remember we are all here for you and (like a broken record player) we are concerned for you.

Yes- when your upset, especially in a relationship we definitely tend to point out flaws in the other person. HOWEVER, the things you have mentioned do not EXCUSE him for his behavior. No matter how you defend him or rationalize his behavior- it's not right.

I am the same age as you and in a relationship as well, I can personally understand your situation. But just look at this from the outside view, we only have your side, not that you haven't done enough to try and give us his side. BUT, here's the thing- why are you allowing his trip to asia be his salvation to save your relationship?

This whole situation is just EXTREMELY confusing, which probably brings out the remarks that this is a faux relationship situation. Majority of the things that you say are continually being contradicted. Regardless of your emotional state when it was written, does not make it go away and make him a better person when you are 'happy'.

This is not a catty fight and none of the girls here meant to offend you if it did. NO ONE was trying to become catty and start a fight, YOU DID. You blew up at the people who were just trying to give you some advice- the cold, hard truth and it hurts. I think that we all understand that you have made your decision that if he changes you will stay and if not, your gone. BUT, you are still with him in the hope that he is changing. Just because he calls does not mean he has changed or will, but we will have to see in time.

The remark about the chanel bag if it doesn't work out was to put a little humor into such a rough relationship. See? We all have different views and we are all expressing it. PLEASE, keep an open mind and STOP being offended. You posted and we answered, don't make it come off like the TPFers here are b*%^&$#, because quite frankly you are making yourself look rude.

We do care....we just want the best for you. I wish you the best of luck in your relationship, YOU WILL NEED IT (because this one seems to take a more than just that). But you seem determined to be with him and if you think he has shown improvement then go for it. Nothing we will say will change your perspective. I know you were looking for support and it is here, but remember you cannot get support without advice. Regardless of what happens, remember that TPFers are always here for you, we are open minded and hearted as well. I may have not yet to get personal advice from them yet, but I know who I can turn to.

Didn't want this argument to continue, you have made your decision and there are many against it. However, it is your FINAL decision and I wish you the best of luck with whatever may happen.

msJenna · Jul 4th, 2009, 03:25 AM

Originally Posted by ilove6kies

How did you get bitched at...I don't understand....you asked for advice, and you got it, just not the ones you wanted to hear. That doesn't sound very appreciative.

The end.

I said I was thankful and I left it at that.

Then people kept asking questions. I didn't want to respond, they kept asking.

I responded. And now I am getting shit for it.

The end.

msJenna · Jul 4th, 2009, 03:27 AM

Originally Posted by stcouture

MsJenna, I really think that it has all gone out of context. I understand that certain things were said that offended you. Just remember we are all here for you and (like a broken record player) we are concerned for you.

Yes- when your upset, especially in a relationship we definitely tend to point out flaws in the other person. HOWEVER, the things you have mentioned do not EXCUSE him for his behavior. No matter how you defend him or rationalize his behavior- it's not right.

I am the same age as you and in a relationship as well, I can personally understand your situation. But just look at this from the outside view, we only have your side, not that you haven't done enough to try and give us his side. BUT, here's the thing- why are you allowing his trip to asia be his salvation to save your relationship?

This whole situation is just EXTREMELY confusing, which probably brings out the remarks that this is a faux relationship situation. Majority of the things that you say are continually being contradicted. Regardless of your emotional state when it was written, does not make it go away and make him a better person when you are 'happy'.

This is not a catty fight and none of the girls here meant to offend you if it did. NO ONE was trying to become catty and start a fight, YOU DID. You blew up at the people who were just trying to give you some advice- the cold, hard truth and it hurts. I think that we all understand that you have made your decision that if he changes you will stay and if not, your gone. BUT, you are still with him in the hope that he is changing. Just because he calls does not mean he has changed or will, but we will have to see in time.

The remark about the chanel bag if it doesn't work out was to put a little humor into such a rough relationship. See? We all have different views and we are all expressing it. PLEASE, keep an open mind and STOP being offended. You posted and we answered, don't make it come off like the TPFers here are b*%^&$#, because quite frankly you are making yourself look rude.

We do care....we just want the best for you. I wish you the best of luck in your relationship, YOU WILL NEED IT (because this one seems to take a more than just that). But you seem determined to be with him and if you think he has shown improvement then go for it. Nothing we will say will change your perspective. I know you were looking for support and it is here, but remember you cannot get support without advice. Regardless of what happens, remember that TPFers are always here for you, we are open minded and hearted as well. I may have not yet to get personal advice from them yet, but I know who I can turn to.

Didn't want this argument to continue, you have made your decision and there are many against it. However, it is your FINAL decision and I wish you the best of luck with whatever may happen.

it'
No, I got mad at the girl who was like "Yeah who cares about the relationship if he's buying you Chanel bags" and the girl who said "I wish you luck cause you're gonna need it"

And I get annoyed when someone asks me why I'm with him. I explain why I am. Then they get mad at me for making excuses/defending him, when they asked in the first place!

Yes a lot of people have been nice, but me people have been rude and I really don't appreciate when someone asks me a question, I don't want to answer it, I get put on the spot then get severely lectured for answering it.

I already made my decision.

If he wants to change, he will. And if he can't it's over!

And I am going to get that book from chapters btw!

ShoeNoob · Jul 4th, 2009, 04:32 AM

Originally Posted by msJenna

it'
No, I got mad at the girl who was like ...."I wish you luck cause you're gonna need it"

I'm going to refrain from saying much about everything else that's gone on in this thread... but unless I totally misread it, the person who wished you luck because "you're gonna need it" was being truthful, and not rude. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, no matter how you slice it, and whatever course of action you decide on, you are going to need luck with it.

Having been in a highly abusive relationship (mentally and emotionally, wasn't physically until the VERY end) for 12 years, I already know that nothing any of us says or does is going to change your opinion. People get blinders on in these situations. Something will occur that will be your "rock bottom" of sorts, and only then will you leave.

msJenna · Jul 4th, 2009, 04:58 AM

My rock bottom will be if he blows his last chance and then I'll pull the plug.

Nieners · Jul 4th, 2009, 06:41 AM

Originally Posted by msJenna

it'
No, I got mad at the girl who was like "Yeah who cares about the relationship if he's buying you Chanel bags" and the girl who said "I wish you luck cause you're gonna need it"

And I get annoyed when someone asks me why I'm with him. I explain why I am. Then they get mad at me for making excuses/defending him, when they asked in the first place!

Yes a lot of people have been nice, but me people have been rude and I really don't appreciate when someone asks me a question, I don't want to answer it, I get put on the spot then get severely lectured for answering it.

I already made my decision.

If he wants to change, he will. And if he can't it's over!

And I am going to get that book from chapters btw!

I'm sorry, but that is like the one and only positive thing I've ever read here about your bf. You should post he says cute things to you, take you for a walk and hold your hand.. that stuff. Maybe then your ''relationship'' will not come off as material as it does now.

msJenna · Jul 4th, 2009, 05:25 PM

Originally Posted by Nieners

I'm sorry, but that is like the one and only positive thing I've ever read here about your bf. You should post he says cute things to you, take you for a walk and hold your hand.. that stuff. Maybe then your ''relationship'' will not come off as material as it does now.

Well if I am posting about Louboutins (which he buys me sometimes) it kind of fits into the Louboutin forum.

I don't think posting about going on walks and holding hands has anything to do with louboutins/buying louboutins etc.

Nieners · Jul 4th, 2009, 05:54 PM

I think you really are missing my point... But it's okay, I don't want to argue about your life and I think you will pull the plug if he doesn't change. Well, that's what I hope at least. Last post in here, I will not waste my time anymore. Good luck, if I may say so.

msJenna · Jul 4th, 2009, 06:43 PM

^ I didn't really understand what you were trying to say.

lulabee · Jul 4th, 2009, 10:31 PM

UGH!! Reading this thread is like beating ones head against the wall. Jenna, why do you get offended by people calling you out for being with this jerk only because he buys you Louboutins? You're the one coming to the CL sub- forum and announcing to all who will listen that he's the one who buys them for you. Have you ever asked yourself why he's with you? Anyway, you are the one who started this thread and IMO have gotten some excellent advice (which you asked for) but you obviously don't like the feedback you are getting. Why not just let this thread crawl into a cave an die already??? Ask the mods to close it.

bagnshoofetish · Jul 5th, 2009, 12:19 AM

Originally Posted by msJenna

^ I didn't really understand what you were trying to say.

I think what she is getting at is that the only good thing you can say about him is that he buys you expensive shoes. that does not make him a good person. and if thats the only reason you choose to be with him then you need to raise your standards.
Thats what I think she meant anyway.

juneping · Jul 5th, 2009, 12:38 AM

Oh boy...if my bf put his mom in front of me all the time but buy me CL sometimes...I m not so sure if I'll stay with him. But if I did I sure will need another man to pamper me emotionally.
CL is no way more important than ILU, emotionally pampering/fulfillment, make me feel I am his priority...

MarneeB · Jul 5th, 2009, 01:29 AM

hairsprayhead · Jul 5th, 2009, 03:37 AM

Originally Posted by ILuvShopping

i think everyone can probably answer this question for her... because she's comfortable. she's scared of what life is like without the relationship.

And he buys her nice, expensive things.

OP- seriously, this is infuriating. I have an aunt who is 55 years old that has an emotionally and verbally abusive husband. He also buys her really nice things whenever he does something awful to her as an "I'm Sorry". She parades around with it and believes we're all jealous for what he buys her.

Not a single person is jealous. I'd rather have a sweet, loving, supportive, RESPECTFUL husband that thinks buying handbags from Target is awesome versus a disgusting loser that buys me luxury items. Your priorities are so screwy it's almost unbelievable.

OP, you seem to be into having and possessing beautiful accessories. Having a complete loser of an abusive boyfriend is the ugliest accessory you could EVER have, and your new Loubies and Chanel handbags will never make up for that. People will see right through it, you're not fooling anyone.

I feel sorry for you, seriously. I don't care if this sounds rude, as I said earlier- this entire situation is infuriating, beyond infuriating. I've seen it play out in my aunt and how unhappy she really is in spite of having nice things her a-hole Husband buys. She's the unhappiest person I know.

We only accept the love that we think we deserve. Apparently you think you deserve the scummiest person on the face of this planet, and that is sad. There aren't enough pretty shoes in the world to make up for that. Think what you want, your Chanel handbags can keep you company when your boyfriend calls you fat (and as someone who also had an ED past, seriously? Are you seriously being serious, being with someone who calls you fat? Ugh). As someone who is married to a great guy that would never think of treating me or any woman the way your boyfriend treats you, open your eyes and get a clue.

At some point you stop being a victim and become a volunteer.

Jul 4th, 2009, 02:20 AM	#167
stcouture Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 153	MsJenna, I really think that it has all gone out of context. I understand that certain things were said that offended you. Just remember we are all here for you and (like a broken record player) we are concerned for you. Yes- when your upset, especially in a relationship we definitely tend to point out flaws in the other person. HOWEVER, the things you have mentioned do not EXCUSE him for his behavior. No matter how you defend him or rationalize his behavior- it's not right. I am the same age as you and in a relationship as well, I can personally understand your situation. But just look at this from the outside view, we only have your side, not that you haven't done enough to try and give us his side. BUT, here's the thing- why are you allowing his trip to asia be his salvation to save your relationship? This whole situation is just EXTREMELY confusing, which probably brings out the remarks that this is a faux relationship situation. Majority of the things that you say are continually being contradicted. Regardless of your emotional state when it was written, does not make it go away and make him a better person when you are 'happy'. This is not a catty fight and none of the girls here meant to offend you if it did. NO ONE was trying to become catty and start a fight, YOU DID. You blew up at the people who were just trying to give you some advice- the cold, hard truth and it hurts. I think that we all understand that you have made your decision that if he changes you will stay and if not, your gone. BUT, you are still with him in the hope that he is changing. Just because he calls does not mean he has changed or will, but we will have to see in time. The remark about the chanel bag if it doesn't work out was to put a little humor into such a rough relationship. See? We all have different views and we are all expressing it. PLEASE, keep an open mind and STOP being offended. You posted and we answered, don't make it come off like the TPFers here are b*%^&$#, because quite frankly you are making yourself look rude. We do care....we just want the best for you. I wish you the best of luck in your relationship, YOU WILL NEED IT (because this one seems to take a more than just that). But you seem determined to be with him and if you think he has shown improvement then go for it. Nothing we will say will change your perspective. I know you were looking for support and it is here, but remember you cannot get support without advice. Regardless of what happens, remember that TPFers are always here for you, we are open minded and hearted as well. I may have not yet to get personal advice from them yet, but I know who I can turn to. Didn't want this argument to continue, you have made your decision and there are many against it. However, it is your FINAL decision and I wish you the best of luck with whatever may happen.
stcouture Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 153

Jul 4th, 2009, 04:58 AM	#171
msJenna OP Member Joined: May 2007 Posts: 737	My rock bottom will be if he blows his last chance and then I'll pull the plug.
msJenna OP Member Joined: May 2007 Posts: 737	__________________ I Only Have Eyes For European Cars, European Shoes, And European Handbags

Jul 4th, 2009, 05:54 PM	#174
Nieners ❀ ♥ Loubounista ♥ ❀ Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Alaska in winter Posts: 2,340	I think you really are missing my point... But it's okay, I don't want to argue about your life and I think you will pull the plug if he doesn't change. Well, that's what I hope at least. Last post in here, I will not waste my time anymore. Good luck, if I may say so.
	__________________ ♥ ''If we never see each other again, and one day, you feel a certain presence beside you... that would be me loving you wherever I am.'' ♥ HG: ❀ Fiorellino's ❀ 39 - 39.5, nude VPs sz 38.5 - 39 UHG: - NP nude mini glitter/gold specchio - Black or Ivory Jaws sz 38.5 - 39 Last edited by Nieners; Jul 4th, 2009 at 06:05 PM.

Jul 4th, 2009, 06:43 PM	#175
msJenna OP Member Joined: May 2007 Posts: 737	^ I didn't really understand what you were trying to say.
msJenna OP Member Joined: May 2007 Posts: 737	__________________ I Only Have Eyes For European Cars, European Shoes, And European Handbags

Jul 4th, 2009, 10:31 PM	#176
lulabee Sofa King Brunette Joined: Jul 2008 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 5,573	UGH!! Reading this thread is like beating ones head against the wall. Jenna, why do you get offended by people calling you out for being with this jerk only because he buys you Louboutins? You're the one coming to the CL sub- forum and announcing to all who will listen that he's the one who buys them for you. Have you ever asked yourself why he's with you? Anyway, you are the one who started this thread and IMO have gotten some excellent advice (which you asked for) but you obviously don't like the feedback you are getting. Why not just let this thread crawl into a cave an die already??? Ask the mods to close it.
	__________________ My CL Wish List Purple suede Declic 140 Aubergine Metallic Rolando Lady Lynch Decocolico

Jul 5th, 2009, 12:38 AM	#178
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,311	Oh boy...if my bf put his mom in front of me all the time but buy me CL sometimes...I m not so sure if I'll stay with him. But if I did I sure will need another man to pamper me emotionally. CL is no way more important than ILU, emotionally pampering/fulfillment, make me feel I am his priority...
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Jul 5th, 2009, 01:29 AM	#179
MarneeB Taking it all in. Joined: Mar 2009 Location: Missouri Posts: 842

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