Is this the right decision to make?

[PrettyInPink]

Originally Posted by msJenna

Well I didn't list all the good things he does. And I made the dog thing sound worse than it does. he pulled the blanket because he thought my dog would start playing with him because his dogs play extremely rough and he had a little maltese who was crazy. I didn't mention that my dog is obsessed with him and chases after my boyfriend and they always cuddle etc. Just crap like that. I honestly made it sound worse than it was and he doesn't make me wait until 3am every night. Only the nights when he is hanging out with his friends. We spend three quality nights together a week sometimes 4... and he doesn't make me wait until 3am those nights. It's not all bad I shouldn't post when I'm mad.

You're making excuses. Please stop making excuses for his bad behavior and own the fact that he may not be the best person for you.

1 good deed doesn't overrule the 15 bad deeds.

Remember what I said about change. If he doesn't WANT to change, he won't. He WILL NOT CHANGE just because you want him to. And, you're wasting your time expecting him to.

Think of all the great guys you could meet during the time you spend waiting for this one!

[evolkatie]

I have a GREAT idea. Since your bf is not really around much anyway, why dont you cheat on him and find someone who will actually appreciate you. Then you'll have someone that truly cares and your Chanels/CLs.

Everyone in this thread has given you the advice you asked for but you didn't take it. People who did care about you before probably don't care now because you have wasted their efforts. Do you have a lot of friends? I'm sure if you do, they wouldn't let you be with an asshole like this. But if you're not listening to them either, then too bad. You put yourself in this situation and your bf is just going to feed off of it. You need to give up all your materialistic needs and figure out what will truly make you happy. You're still young and expensive things can come later.

[coachmommyofmin]

Honey, even if he consists mostly of good things, but he decides that friends/mom are more important than you- he can cuddle your dog all he wants- he's not working for you! You need somebody who truly loves you and treats you right AT ALL TIMES!

You need someone that cares for you and dosen't use you, everybody knows that it's inappropriate to cancel your dates just to go for lunch with mom instead, while you're sitting next to him! It dosen't matter who told him this was ok, bkz EVERY single person on this earth who has some self respect will tell you ITS WROOONG!!! no matter what he was taught, it's common sence he should have!!!

If he is all great and has wonderful qualities, but dosen't respect you as person, he's not worth your time.

You're young, you have time and options, he's not the only male in the world, for sure! I can't tell you what to do- but I am gonna give you one last advise bkz you asked for it- take some time off and enjoy life without him. You'll notice how nice it is not to be "second" to somebody, but First to yourself! and when the right time comes, you'll meet someone great who deserves you! Best of Luck!

[YaYa3]

hey, jenna! would you listen to mama yaya?

[techie81]

Jenna, truth hurts. He will NEVER, EVER change for you. If he wanted to, he would've after the first dozen breakups. Trust me, I have been there.

And this latest so-called ultimatum while he's in Asia? I'm pretty sure he's having a good time and not giving much thought into making any "changes" because he knows no matter what he does or says, you'll take him back anyway. You're just crying wolf, sweetie.

Know what this all means? You two are not meant to be. And you are WAAAY too young to put up with this bull$***.

So what if you posted out of anger? You were being HONEST when you were mad. Now you're just making up excuses to stay with him and blaming yourself for posting! Come on!

I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just really scared for you. Consider this tough love because that's what you need at this point. Please stop making excuses.

[bagnshoofetish]

Originally Posted by msJenna

My dog is a chihuahua who was abused and my boyfriend doesn't like him because when he is rough with my dog it scares my dog.

Originally Posted by msJenna

I didn't mention that my dog is obsessed with him and chases after my boyfriend and they always cuddle etc.

well, which is it? your dog loves your bf and they always cuddle or your dog is scared of him and your bf doesn't like him?

its all these inconsistencies that are frustrating everyone. even when my DH makes me madder than hell, I would never think he is the "most disgusting person on the planet" or whatever you called your bf.

you are right. you shouldn't post when you are mad. but you've been posting for days now. how mad can you stay?

if you choose to stay with him thats your choice but I think I speak for a lot of people when I say we get tired of people posting really horrible stories about abusive jerks and then saying, "oh I was just mad. its not as bad as I made it sound". makes it hard for people to take you seriously. you cannot get mad at people for that.

[Ellie Mae]

Originally Posted by msJenna

Just crap like that. I honestly made it sound worse than it was and he doesn't make me wait until 3am every night. Only the nights when he is hanging out with his friends.

Jenna... would you please re-read this and think about what you just said?

"HE does not MAKE ME wait until 3am EVERY night... only the nights he is with his friends."

WHAT????????????????????????

[ilove6kies]

You know what...I don't think you really wanted any advices at all...I think that you were hoping to hear answers like:

- he will change for you
- a little good behavior is better than nothing
- you should be with him

But unfortunately, we all care a lot about your situation and we all feel that we should give our honest answer. But it's just frustrating for us to see you started making excuses for this guy.

Sorry for being blunt, I think the only way you might learn is to do what you want, get hurt real bad, and then learn to move on.

I have said my piece~~~

[msJenna]

Originally Posted by techie81

Jenna, truth hurts. He will NEVER, EVER change for you. If he wanted to, he would've after the first dozen breakups. Trust me, I have been there. And this latest so-called ultimatum while he's in Asia? I'm pretty sure he's having a good time and not giving much thought into making any "changes" because he knows no matter what he does or says, you'll take him back anyway. You're just crying wolf, sweetie. Know what this all means? You two are not meant to be. And you are WAAAY too young to put up with this bull$***. So what if you posted out of anger? You were being HONEST when you were mad. Now you're just making up excuses to stay with him and blaming yourself for posting! Come on! I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just really scared for you. Consider this tough love because that's what you need at this point. Please stop making excuses.

We've only broken up once.

And he's been calling me everyday from Asia. He hasn't been like out partying or anything.

[msJenna]

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

well, which is it? your dog loves your bf and they always cuddle or your dog is scared of him and your bf doesn't like him? its all these inconsistencies that are frustrating everyone. even when my DH makes me madder than hell, I would never think he is the "most disgusting person on the planet" or whatever you called your bf. you are right. you shouldn't post when you are mad. but you've been posting for days now. how mad can you stay? if you choose to stay with him thats your choice but I think I speak for a lot of people when I say we get tired of people posting really horrible stories about abusive jerks and then saying, "oh I was just mad. its not as bad as I made it sound". makes it hard for people to take you seriously. you cannot get mad at people for that.

Well I thanked everyone for the advice pages ago. And when I stopped responding because I didn't want to continue the conversation, people started questioning me and pulling up other threads I had replied to.

Yes, I said I shouldn't post when I am mad.

My boyfriend thinks my dog is fat and he isn't fond of him because my dog doesn't play rough like his dogs.

My dog was upset that one time he pulled the blankets and my dog shakes if me and my boyfriend fight (but we don't get into yelling matches like ever).

But my dog likes him will greet him and try to run out of the house with him when we go out and my boyfriend pets him and stuff.

See I shouldnt post when Im mad

[msJenna]

Originally Posted by Ellie Mae

Jenna... would you please re-read this and think about what you just said? "HE does not MAKE ME wait until 3am EVERY night... only the nights he is with his friends." WHAT????????????????????????

No okay like.

Pretty much we designate a few nights a week to hang out.

Then the nights that I work/am with friends/or am at home

and he is with friends (because whenever he isnt with me he's with friends)
he tells me that I am welcome to come over after he is done with his video games with his friends.

It's like loose plans. Like, depending on when hes done with his video games I can stay the night if im up or I can stay at home.

[msJenna]

Originally Posted by ilove6kies

You know what...I don't think you really wanted any advices at all...I think that you were hoping to hear answers like: - he will change for you - a little good behavior is better than nothing - you should be with him But unfortunately, we all care a lot about your situation and we all feel that we should give our honest answer. But it's just frustrating for us to see you started making excuses for this guy. Sorry for being blunt, I think the only way you might learn is to do what you want, get hurt real bad, and then learn to move on. I have said my piece~~~

No. I wanted advice. And I got it.
And I will leave him if he won't change.
But so far since the night before he left he said he was going to change because he wanted to and he didn't want to be without me. ANd he's been calling me everyday etc etc.

And if he comes home and doesn't change it's pretty simple. He's dumped.

Anyways I can't win here.

I stop posting, I get people forum stalking me and bringing up posts.

I say I am going to dump him if he doesn't change. That isn't good enough.

I explain that I was over exagerating because I was mad when I posted, now I am excusing him.

People ask me questions, I answer them and then I get bitched at.

So I can't win. It's already been decided. I appreciate the opinions and I'm not ready to end things without giving him an opportunity to change. And if he can't change then it's done and I will take all of your advice.

That is that.

the end.

[ilove6kies]

Originally Posted by msJenna

No. I wanted advice. And I got it. And I will leave him if he won't change. But so far since the night before he left he said he was going to change because he wanted to and he didn't want to be without me. ANd he's been calling me everyday etc etc. And if he comes home and doesn't change it's pretty simple. He's dumped. Anyways I can't win here. I stop posting, I get people forum stalking me and bringing up posts. I say I am going to dump him if he doesn't change. That isn't good enough. I explain that I was over exagerating because I was mad when I posted, now I am excusing him. People ask me questions, I answer them and then I get bitched at. So I can't win. It's already been decided. I appreciate the opinions and I'm not ready to end things without giving him an opportunity to change. And if he can't change then it's done and I will take all of your advice. That is that. the end.

How did you get bitched at...I don't understand....you asked for advice, and you got it, just not the ones you wanted to hear. That doesn't sound very appreciative.

The end.

[immashoesaddict]

Originally Posted by msJenna

It's not like I came back and said oh I am staying with him and excusing his behavior because of blah blah blah. .

BUT YOU ARE!! you are sugar coating all the sh!t he has done to you , e.g he pulls the sheet from your dog and scared the shit out of him , calls him fat etc THEN next thing you say " he treats your dog like that because HIS DOGS LIKES TO PLAY ROUGH " seriously...

He's NOT going to ever change just because you ask / force him to .Let's face it if a guy really loves you ,he wouldnt make you drive at 3 am to his house and fk up your sleeping pattern and ensure that your schooling is in order ( homeworks and etc are done , not behind in school bla bla )

Originally Posted by fieryfashionist

Aww man, I don't know where to begin. I almost couldn't read past this part: "I have never been so disgusted with a person in my life." Based on that one sentence, I can't understand why you are with him. Why, exactly, are you? Based on what you've written, he doesn't have a single redeeming quality. He treats you like his doormat, mentally abuses you, is used to getting his way with everything (as evidenced by his family/friend/etc. interactions) and pretends to give a shit when you say you're dumping his ass, because his ego can't stand the idea of someone leaving him. He is the DEFINITION of a loser, plain and simple. You deserve to be treated with respect, love and dignity. Can you honestly say that is how you are being treated? Do you not think that you deserve to be treated that way? You do and you should realize it now. You're only 20 and from what I've seen in the CL forum, a gorgeous girl. Why on earth do you need some super rich loser child who has serious issues polluting your life? You don't. I hope you aren't insulted by my post, but you need to get the hell out of this abusive situation. If you choose to stay, then you are not only accepting his behavior as "normal" but you are also conceding to the fact that you don't deserve to be with someone much better than him. Stop excusing his behavior. Would you excuse a friend who acted that way? I don't think so. This abuse cycle is never going to end unless you end it once and for all, by getting the hell out. It's your life of course, but you should know that you have a choice and can still make (IMHO) the right one - aka cutting this piece of shit guy out of your life for good.

I agree with Minal ..GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP , You're only 20 , im sure there will be better guys for you out there.

[Speedah]

Not to sound corny or anything, this book changed my life. It just might help you too.