Welcome to The Purse Forum.

ilove6kies · Jul 2nd, 2009, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by scarlett_2005

OP, I hate to burst your bubble but this guy is NOT going to change. People do not change just because their SO wants them to. They have to want to change. From everything I've read about him in this thread, he will not change. Honestly, why would he? He gets away with treating you like garbage. Things may be good right now but soon he's going to revert back to his assey ways. Jmo...

I cannot agree more. Even my DH, who loves me to death and would do "almost" anything for me (lol), there are certain little things about him tat bother me that he will NEVER change.

What makes you think a guy who mistreated you so badly, called you names, ditched you all the times, used you like a doormat would change overnight?

I think you already know the answer.

ILuvShopping · Jul 2nd, 2009, 02:44 PM

Originally Posted by dallas

Instead of being all offended and calling people rude and catty, why don't you put your energy elsewhere, like being honest with yourself?

You wrote:

"I'm trying to think about things he has done that are nice...
Nothing comes to mind."

Go on, I dare you. Be honest. Why are you really with him?

i think everyone can probably answer this question for her... because she's comfortable. she's scared of what life is like without the relationship.

the fact is.. yes break-ups SUCK. starting new relationships SUCK.... the date stage SUCKS. I honestly haven't been in a relationship or even dated anyone for probably 4-5 years.... and i'm only 26!! i've had my fair share of relationships/boyfriends in high school and college. but after being out of the game so long... the idea of dating someone scares the ever living crap out of me. but jenna... I think it's just time you make the leap and find someone that you deserve. even if you're single for awhile... it's not a bad thing... and don't settling for something just because it's comfortable and you're scared of what's next.

ilove6kies · Jul 2nd, 2009, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by ILuvShopping

i think everyone can probably answer this question for her... because she's comfortable. she's scared of what life is like without the relationship.

the fact is.. yes break-ups SUCK. starting new relationships SUCK.... the date stage SUCKS. I honestly haven't been in a relationship or even dated anyone for probably 4-5 years.... and i'm only 26!! i've had my fair share of relationships/boyfriends in high school and college. but after being out of the game so long... the idea of dating someone scares the ever living crap out of me. but jenna... I think it's just time you make the leap and find someone that you deserve. even if you're single for awhile... it's not a bad thing... and don't settling for something just because it's comfortable and you're scared of what's next.

WEll said.

Especially in this case, what comes next will most likely be a lot better than your $hitty current bf.

ILuvShopping · Jul 2nd, 2009, 03:44 PM

this reminds me of one of my friends. she was with her boyfriend for quite a few years... she just turn 22.. she was MADLY in love with this guy. I think he's 26. this guy had no motivation for life at all... he got fired from a freaking amusement park. everyone got a bad vibe from this kid. my friend would tell me things how he would threaten to break up with her... made comments about how she's gained weight (and she's still super skinny)... and other stuff that you just don't say to someone you love.

well turns out they moved in together and then eventually had a falling out within the year. she finally broke up with him, but then two days later they were going to date and 'see how things go'. well apparently he threw a hissy fit and said it had to be everything or nothing at all.

so i talked her through this. i said 'well in 2 days... he'll get over his hissy fit... this seems to be what he does' and she said 'that's because he's an only child and he's used to getting his way" and i said "well do you want to deal with that for the rest of your life?" and she said "no, i can't handle it" and i said "EXACTLY!" and thankfully... they are not back together.

PurseAddict79 · Jul 2nd, 2009, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by ILuvShopping

and i said "well do you want to deal with that for the rest of your life?" and she said "no, i can't handle it" and i said "EXACTLY!" and thankfully... they are not back together.

EXACTLY.

OP, you've already burned up a year on someone who isn't worth it. Your original and subsequent posts have nothing but negative things to say about this BOY. Its been a year... if its this bad in, can you imagine how bad it's going to be in 10 years? You're letting him walk all over you. It's only going to get worse.

PLEASE, if nothing else, make sure you're on the pill. Because seriously, this guy doesn't need to reproduce. The world has enough assh*les in it already.

dallas · Jul 2nd, 2009, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by ILuvShopping

i think everyone can probably answer this question for her... because she's comfortable. she's scared of what life is like without the relationship.

I have to disagree, I don't believe they can or should.

I do not expect msjenna to answer my question here - she sure as heck doesn't owe me any explanation - I asked it in the hope is that she will think about it and be honest with herself.

msJenna · Jul 2nd, 2009, 08:43 PM

Originally Posted by ver0nique

^^ITA.

OP, would you answer Dallas's question? Many of us quoted the post.

No there is no point. If I say I said that because I was in a bad mood and mention things he's done that are nice I'll just get accused of defending or excusing him.

I tend to see black and white. If I'm mad, nothing good has ever happened between us. If I am happy nothing could ever be better.

So yeah that statement was made when I was really mad

But yeah not going to bother explaining anything because I just get insulted.

msJenna · Jul 2nd, 2009, 08:48 PM

I probably shouldn't of even started this post. I wrote it when I was angry so I was only seeing things in the worst light.

vuittonamour · Jul 2nd, 2009, 09:02 PM

^^^ but it does not matter. everything you described shows that he treats you like absolute crap, whether you were dealing with a biased view because of your anger or not! sometimes i am mad at my SO about little things, and they really are LITTLE things...and then i read a post like yours and would think, "wow, if my bf ever lied to me like that or was that mean, it just wouldn't fly." but i know he'd never do those things to me because he loves me. if he loved you, he would treat you with respect, and he's shown you zero. please, don't be blinded anymore.

juneping · Jul 2nd, 2009, 09:12 PM

i agree with vuittonamour.

queenvictoria2 · Jul 2nd, 2009, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by msJenna

I probably shouldn't of even started this post. I wrote it when I was angry so I was only seeing things in the worst light.

No you were seeing things for what they really are.

Jeneen · Jul 2nd, 2009, 10:13 PM

I don't want you to regret posting and asking for help... maybe you are not ready to hear it now, but always ask for help if you need it babe

if5yvo · Jul 3rd, 2009, 04:58 AM

wow.
that's really all i had in mind once this post made past pg.5
and i have to really prop all these people still supporting this thread.

ive been in this situation before
and i honestly don't think ms.jenna will be listening to anymore advice.
she seems very determined

i do wish ms.jenna luck
cus i agree with all post
he's not a good person and he will not change

Ellie Mae · Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by msJenna

I probably shouldn't of even started this post. I wrote it when I was angry so I was only seeing things in the worst light.

Jenna... the fact that you DID start this post shows that you yourself have some worry and concern about this relationship that you are in. I think that you were seeing the WORST things in their TRUE light. And for some reason, you do not want to face that fact...??
Does it not also concern you that not ONE person has advised you to stay IN this relationship?

msJenna · Jul 3rd, 2009, 07:42 PM

Well I didn't list all the good things he does.

And I made the dog thing sound worse than it does.

he pulled the blanket because he thought my dog would start playing with him because his dogs play extremely rough and he had a little maltese who was crazy.

I didn't mention that my dog is obsessed with him and chases after my boyfriend and they always cuddle etc.

Just crap like that. I honestly made it sound worse than it was and
he doesn't make me wait until 3am every night. Only the nights when he is hanging out with his friends. We spend three quality nights together a week sometimes 4... and he doesn't make me wait until 3am those nights.

It's not all bad I shouldn't post when I'm mad.

Jul 2nd, 2009, 03:44 PM	#139
ILuvShopping <3 Joined: Jun 2007 Location: Iowa Posts: 2,972	this reminds me of one of my friends. she was with her boyfriend for quite a few years... she just turn 22.. she was MADLY in love with this guy. I think he's 26. this guy had no motivation for life at all... he got fired from a freaking amusement park. everyone got a bad vibe from this kid. my friend would tell me things how he would threaten to break up with her... made comments about how she's gained weight (and she's still super skinny)... and other stuff that you just don't say to someone you love. well turns out they moved in together and then eventually had a falling out within the year. she finally broke up with him, but then two days later they were going to date and 'see how things go'. well apparently he threw a hissy fit and said it had to be everything or nothing at all. so i talked her through this. i said 'well in 2 days... he'll get over his hissy fit... this seems to be what he does' and she said 'that's because he's an only child and he's used to getting his way" and i said "well do you want to deal with that for the rest of your life?" and she said "no, i can't handle it" and i said "EXACTLY!" and thankfully... they are not back together.
	__________________ . . Whimsy Bits..... a bit of whimsy.... Up and Running!! Check out my handmade jewelry http://whimsybits.etsy.com

Jul 2nd, 2009, 08:48 PM	#143
msJenna OP Member Joined: May 2007 Posts: 737	I probably shouldn't of even started this post. I wrote it when I was angry so I was only seeing things in the worst light.
msJenna OP Member Joined: May 2007 Posts: 737	__________________ I Only Have Eyes For European Cars, European Shoes, And European Handbags Last edited by msJenna; Jul 2nd, 2009 at 08:56 PM.

Jul 2nd, 2009, 09:02 PM	#144
vuittonamour ooh let me see! Joined: Dec 2006 Location: new jersey Posts: 4,935	^^^ but it does not matter. everything you described shows that he treats you like absolute crap, whether you were dealing with a biased view because of your anger or not! sometimes i am mad at my SO about little things, and they really are LITTLE things...and then i read a post like yours and would think, "wow, if my bf ever lied to me like that or was that mean, it just wouldn't fly." but i know he'd never do those things to me because he loves me. if he loved you, he would treat you with respect, and he's shown you zero. please, don't be blinded anymore.
	__________________

Jul 2nd, 2009, 09:12 PM	#145
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,311	i agree with vuittonamour.
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Jul 2nd, 2009, 10:13 PM	#147
Jeneen Member Joined: Feb 2009 Location: up in the gym workin on my fitness Posts: 2,734	I don't want you to regret posting and asking for help... maybe you are not ready to hear it now, but always ask for help if you need it babe
	__________________ *Jeneen* Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you. - dbf's fortune cookie

Jul 3rd, 2009, 04:58 AM	#148
if5yvo balbagholic Joined: Aug 2008 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 326	wow. that's really all i had in mind once this post made past pg.5 and i have to really prop all these people still supporting this thread. ive been in this situation before and i honestly don't think ms.jenna will be listening to anymore advice. she seems very determined i do wish ms.jenna luck cus i agree with all post he's not a good person and he will not change
	__________________ SS 08 Argent Weekender, Argent MU FW 09 Black City FW 08 Marine MU SS 09 Praline RH Work SS 09 Anthracite RH Work Proenza Schouler PS1 (want) YSL muse croc gray, Alexander Wang Diego Suede Tan sold SS 08 Black Work SS 08 Electric Blue PT SGH FW 07 Vert D'eau Work Chanel Jumbo Flap White marc jacob dr.q fraser tote chloe python paraty

Jul 3rd, 2009, 07:42 PM	#150
msJenna OP Member Joined: May 2007 Posts: 737	Well I didn't list all the good things he does. And I made the dog thing sound worse than it does. he pulled the blanket because he thought my dog would start playing with him because his dogs play extremely rough and he had a little maltese who was crazy. I didn't mention that my dog is obsessed with him and chases after my boyfriend and they always cuddle etc. Just crap like that. I honestly made it sound worse than it was and he doesn't make me wait until 3am every night. Only the nights when he is hanging out with his friends. We spend three quality nights together a week sometimes 4... and he doesn't make me wait until 3am those nights. It's not all bad I shouldn't post when I'm mad.
msJenna OP Member Joined: May 2007 Posts: 737	__________________ I Only Have Eyes For European Cars, European Shoes, And European Handbags

Welcome to The Purse Forum.

Our Purse Forum, or TPF, is the #1 online social network for everything designer handbag related. Join over 200,000 enthusiastic members in this friendly community and start engaging in the discussion today.