Is there something wrong with me ?

elegantegotist · Dec 27th, 2007, 04:43 AM

Okay I am a VERY ambitious person by nature and somewhat of a perfectionist. I want to be the best at whatever I do and I want to be successful.

Whenever I see other people who are really successful especially those who are the same age as me or younger - I feel a little jealous but mostly I feel crap about myself because I'm thinking that should be me.

I really feel that I have something amazing to contribute to this world and I feel like I am destined to be successful (I can't describe it - its just something in my bones) but it kills me that I'm not there yet and furthermore I have no idea how to get there. Are these just delusions of grandeur or something else ?

Rereading this it sounds like a very odd post but I hope there are some people out there who also have the same affliction that I do. I always feel that I am destined for something bigger and better than just working a normal job for the rest of my life. Am I just daydreaming ? Should I get a reality check ?

Just thought I would put this out there.

Thankyou all for reading.

April_Skye · Dec 27th, 2007, 06:37 AM

I dont think thats odd at all. I think we can all relate to some level.
While im not a perfectionist, i totally agree with you when you said
"I really feel that I have something amazing to contribute to this world and I feel like I am destined to be successful"

I think thats your inner drive. If you didnt have that, you would settle for less. Alot less than you would think. I think it would be a waste if you didnt have this drive, or the urge, to better yourself and test your boundaries at how succesfull you can become. Because everyone has something to contribute to this world.

Your 'jealousy' of successful people isnt jealousy at all...
You're looking at someone you want to be. Your goal of who you want to become has materialised right infront of you and thats definatley not a bad thing! It keeps you motivated!

While I know im not going to be the CEO of my own buisness anytime soon (hehe

), I live each day striving to improve on the next.

Wow... i do sound a bit wacko dont I?

But seriously, theres nothing wrong with wanting to be successful and desiring to be praised because of it. Thats enthusiasm. Thats what keep you going when everything feels like its moving in slow motion.

helium · Dec 27th, 2007, 06:59 AM

Mmm... you shouldn't be beating yourself up about it, but small twinges of jealousy are normal. But beating yourself up over anything is not right! I used to be fairly hard on myself too, so I decided to use that energy to learn another language. It's not actually hard, there's a lot of self learning courses available. And it's just so awesome to know another language.

I'm sorry if my reply seems so weird, but I just don't want you to feel crap about yourself, so I'm trying to think of other things you could do to make yourself feel better and more 'useful', although i'm sure you're already an outstanding person! Feeling crap about yourself is never healthy.

lulilu · Dec 27th, 2007, 10:40 AM

Try not to gauge your success against others', but make your own personal goals. Ambition is great -- it gets you places. If you keep comparing yourself with others, you will make yourself crazy. There will always be people more successful, making more money etc. Especially as you get older. The issue is how far have you gotten.

meluv2shop12 · Dec 27th, 2007, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lulilu

Try not to gauge your success against others', but make your own personal goals. Ambition is great -- it gets you places. If you keep comparing yourself with others, you will make yourself crazy. There will always be people more successful, making more money etc. Especially as you get older. The issue is how far have you gotten.

ITA! constantly comparing yourself to others will just cause you more unnecessary stress... life is complicated already as it is.

my advise is that you have to have a clear picture of what success looks like to you - and aim for that. don't let the distraction of other people's success derail you.

also, set small goals that you can easily accomplish along the way..small wins... that helps in giving you the opportunity to pat yourself in the back and keep you motivated :)

CoutureObsessed · Dec 27th, 2007, 02:17 PM

Wow, I couldn't believe it when I read your post - it was like I could have written it, word for word!! And as I get older (not that I'm really old, I'm not even 30) I worry more and more that I will never reach my potential.

elegantegotist · Dec 28th, 2007, 08:59 AM

Thankyou for setting me back on my path girls. I kind of lost my way a bit towards the end of this year because everyone around me was really doing well and I was kind of stuck. But I just have to keep advancing ME towards MY goal because there will always be someone out there who is RICHER, SMARTER, more TALENTED, BETTER-LOOKING or more SUCCESSFUL than you to make you feel 2 feet tall. Improving myself is what i should be concentrating on as it is taking me one step closer to that "success" that I so dearly desire.

purseinsanity · Dec 28th, 2007, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elegantegotist

Thankyou for setting me back on my path girls. I kind of lost my way a bit towards the end of this year because everyone around me was really doing well and I was kind of stuck. But I just have to keep advancing ME towards MY goal because there will always be someone out there who is RICHER, SMARTER, more TALENTED, BETTER-LOOKING or more SUCCESSFUL than you to make you feel 2 feet tall. Improving myself is what i should be concentrating on as it is taking me one step closer to that "success" that I so dearly desire.

That's the right attitude! You should look at everyone who hasn't achieved as much as you and you'll feel great...if you keep comparing yourself to ones who have more, you'll never be happy...unless you're Bill Gates or something!

balihai88 · Dec 28th, 2007, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoutureObsessed

Wow, I couldn't believe it when I read your post - it was like I could have written it, word for word!! And as I get older (not that I'm really old, I'm not even 30) I worry more and more that I will never reach my potential.

Me too, elegantegotist! You're definitely not the only one who feels that way. But I'm learning to channel my ambition and drive to push myself in positive ways, rather than feeling negatively (like being hard on myself) when I see others' success. My goals used to be professional in nature, and many of them still are, but I'm now setting other goals like seeing the countries I've been wanting to go to, reducing my marathon times, learning new skills (cooking), etc.

Speedy · Dec 28th, 2007, 01:26 PM

I'd rather be poor, homely and loved, (which I am) than to be rich, beautiful and a snot to others. I really feel that few people can pull off being THE total success in life that they want without sacrificing something, and it's usually their morals.

Ask yourself what the others you seem jealous of had to give up in order to be who/what they are. Or what their parents had to give up.

And this is perfectly normal. I still think about the "what if's" had I been pretty, from rich parents or better schooling. We'd all be lying to ourselves if we said we didn't wonder. But your honesty is refreshing, and I personally think you are a wonderful people.

meluv2shop12 · Dec 28th, 2007, 02:20 PM

i was watching tv last night and saw an advertisement that kinda made me think about this post..

sitting on a bench was a gorgeous, slim, model-like woman next to a slightly heavier, plainly dressed woman eating a subsandwich...

the gorgeous, slim, model-like woman looks over and says "i hate you"

lol

moral of the story - even "perfect" people aren't perfect... there is ALWAYS someone "better","smarter","prettier","more successful"... don't worry about them.. the grass is always greener - or so it seems. stick to your goals and your goals alone - and strive to achieve it :-)

Speedy · Dec 28th, 2007, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meluv2shop12

i was watching tv last night and saw an advertisement that kinda made me think about this post..

sitting on a bench was a gorgeous, slim, model-like woman next to a slightly heavier, plainly dressed woman eating a subsandwich...

the gorgeous, slim, model-like woman looks over and says "i hate you"

lol

moral of the story - even "perfect" people aren't perfect... there is ALWAYS someone "better","smarter","prettier","more successful"... don't worry about them.. the grass is always greener - or so it seems. stick to your goals and your goals alone - and strive to achieve it :-)

I love that commercial. Really makes me wonder if the beautiful people think that way... but the important message here is to be comfortable in your own skin. Not what others think you should be like/look like.

Dec 27th, 2007, 04:43 AM	#1
elegantegotist Member	Is there something wrong with me ? Okay I am a VERY ambitious person by nature and somewhat of a perfectionist. I want to be the best at whatever I do and I want to be successful. Whenever I see other people who are really successful especially those who are the same age as me or younger - I feel a little jealous but mostly I feel crap about myself because I'm thinking that should be me. I really feel that I have something amazing to contribute to this world and I feel like I am destined to be successful (I can't describe it - its just something in my bones) but it kills me that I'm not there yet and furthermore I have no idea how to get there. Are these just delusions of grandeur or something else ? Rereading this it sounds like a very odd post but I hope there are some people out there who also have the same affliction that I do. I always feel that I am destined for something bigger and better than just working a normal job for the rest of my life. Am I just daydreaming ? Should I get a reality check ? Just thought I would put this out there. Thankyou all for reading.

Dec 27th, 2007, 06:37 AM	#2
April_Skye we CAN have it all Location: over there..... and down a bit	Re: Is there something wrong with me ? I dont think thats odd at all. I think we can all relate to some level. While im not a perfectionist, i totally agree with you when you said "I really feel that I have something amazing to contribute to this world and I feel like I am destined to be successful" I think thats your inner drive. If you didnt have that, you would settle for less. Alot less than you would think. I think it would be a waste if you didnt have this drive, or the urge, to better yourself and test your boundaries at how succesfull you can become. Because everyone has something to contribute to this world. Your 'jealousy' of successful people isnt jealousy at all... You're looking at someone you want to be. Your goal of who you want to become has materialised right infront of you and thats definatley not a bad thing! It keeps you motivated! While I know im not going to be the CEO of my own buisness anytime soon (hehe ), I live each day striving to improve on the next. Wow... i do sound a bit wacko dont I? But seriously, theres nothing wrong with wanting to be successful and desiring to be praised because of it. Thats enthusiasm. Thats what keep you going when everything feels like its moving in slow motion. __________________ Live Now. Kill The Boredom

Dec 27th, 2007, 06:59 AM	#3
helium Member	Re: Is there something wrong with me ? Mmm... you shouldn't be beating yourself up about it, but small twinges of jealousy are normal. But beating yourself up over anything is not right! I used to be fairly hard on myself too, so I decided to use that energy to learn another language. It's not actually hard, there's a lot of self learning courses available. And it's just so awesome to know another language. I'm sorry if my reply seems so weird, but I just don't want you to feel crap about yourself, so I'm trying to think of other things you could do to make yourself feel better and more 'useful', although i'm sure you're already an outstanding person! Feeling crap about yourself is never healthy.

Dec 27th, 2007, 10:40 AM	#4
lulilu Member	Re: Is there something wrong with me ? Try not to gauge your success against others', but make your own personal goals. Ambition is great -- it gets you places. If you keep comparing yourself with others, you will make yourself crazy. There will always be people more successful, making more money etc. Especially as you get older. The issue is how far have you gotten.

Dec 27th, 2007, 02:17 PM	#6
CoutureObsessed ¡Amo Balenciaga! Location: Ohio	Re: Is there something wrong with me ? Wow, I couldn't believe it when I read your post - it was like I could have written it, word for word!! And as I get older (not that I'm really old, I'm not even 30) I worry more and more that I will never reach my potential. __________________ My Non-Bal Wishlist

Dec 28th, 2007, 08:59 AM	#7
elegantegotist Member	Re: Is there something wrong with me ? Thankyou for setting me back on my path girls. I kind of lost my way a bit towards the end of this year because everyone around me was really doing well and I was kind of stuck. But I just have to keep advancing ME towards MY goal because there will always be someone out there who is RICHER, SMARTER, more TALENTED, BETTER-LOOKING or more SUCCESSFUL than you to make you feel 2 feet tall. Improving myself is what i should be concentrating on as it is taking me one step closer to that "success" that I so dearly desire.

Dec 28th, 2007, 01:26 PM	#10
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: Is there something wrong with me ? I'd rather be poor, homely and loved, (which I am) than to be rich, beautiful and a snot to others. I really feel that few people can pull off being THE total success in life that they want without sacrificing something, and it's usually their morals. Ask yourself what the others you seem jealous of had to give up in order to be who/what they are. Or what their parents had to give up. And this is perfectly normal. I still think about the "what if's" had I been pretty, from rich parents or better schooling. We'd all be lying to ourselves if we said we didn't wonder. But your honesty is refreshing, and I personally think you are a wonderful people.

Dec 28th, 2007, 02:20 PM	#11
meluv2shop12 Member Location: la la land	Re: Is there something wrong with me ? i was watching tv last night and saw an advertisement that kinda made me think about this post.. sitting on a bench was a gorgeous, slim, model-like woman next to a slightly heavier, plainly dressed woman eating a subsandwich... the gorgeous, slim, model-like woman looks over and says "i hate you" lol moral of the story - even "perfect" people aren't perfect... there is ALWAYS someone "better","smarter","prettier","more successful"... don't worry about them.. the grass is always greener - or so it seems. stick to your goals and your goals alone - and strive to achieve it :-)